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Chapter twenty-one: I Love You
Her hand followed the spine down to the lower back. She stopped – leaned over – and planted a kiss just above her thumb. The skin was hot under her lips, soft.
The gesture made Jane laugh quietly but the Italian kept her eyes closed to focus better on the sensations stirred up by Maura's massage.
"What are you doing?"
Jane suddenly felt air on her legs, just where Maura had been sitting all along. The sound of a pair of hands landing on both sides of her head made her assume that her lover was just above her. She soon got the confirmation as Maura's hot breath brushed her left ear.
"Nothing. Wait for a second and don't open your eyes."
Jane obliged. The rustling of a thin fabric made her frown. The mattress moved under her own body but it is only when she felt Maura's breasts against her back – the heat of her bare legs on hers – that she understood that the medical examiner had simply taken her clothes off to lie naked on top of her.
End of the massage.
Maura's hands began to follow a parallel path to the kisses she planted along her spine; going up as slowly as she could. As the scientist's hair brushed her back in subtle carresses, Jane swallowed hard. She smiled in anticipation; bit her lips to restrain a sigh.
"Let me do."
Maura's murmur slid on her ear just as she passed a leg between hers to make her turn around. Now on her back, Jane took a deep breath and buried a hand in her lover's hair. The house was quiet and she could hear the rain falling down softly outside. A strange lullaby echoing her first moans as she felt Maura's lips capture her breasts. A game of twists - bites - and caresses.
She laughed.
"You're teasing me."
Her mouth back on Jane's neck, Maura echoed her partner's laugh. Her hand kept on tracing circles on her lover's inner thigh; wandering closer and closer to the only spot Jane was dying for.
"And you love it, don't you?"
Jane pouted. It wasn't a fair game. Maura knew perfectly well what turned her on, what drove her on the edge. It hadn't been a long time since they had reached such level of intimacy but Maura seemed to really know her better than any of her previous dates had ever had. Their connection was different.
More powerful.
"I love you."
The words passed her lips sweetly before hitting the air with a clear honesty. She opened back her eyes and stared at the ceiling. Maura had frozen; her lips against her earlobe, her hand between her legs. She swallowed hard.
They had never said it out loud. Not until now. None of them really had doubts about the other but still, it was the first time that it came up. Out of the blue.
Maura leaned up on her elbows – positioned herself right on top of Jane – and locked her eyes with her partner's. Her lips were so close to the detective's mouth that she could feel its taste, its warmth.
She smiled. Timidly at first; uncertain of the way she was supposed to react. A wave of heat passed underneath her skin and rushed to her heart where self-confidence finally settled in.
"I love you more."
Jane burst out laughing. She passed her arms around Maura's waist and they both rolled on a side. Legs intertwined; lost in each other's eyes. She shook her head in delight.
"It's not a contest!"
But it surely was the happiest day of her life.
...
"Do you want some coffee?" Maura held out a mug for her and grinned.
A cloud. Jane had been walking on a cloud since the night before. They had fallen asleep in the first hours of the morning only to wake up at dawn carried on by a frenzy of feelings – a desire to touch and feel – stronger than anything.
She nodded at the question and leaned against the counter as her lover passed soft arms around her waist. Something told her that she wouldn't have her coffee right now but she couldn't care less.
Maura's fingertips brushed her bare hips and she laughed in their kiss. Considering the slow pace they were following, they would probably be late at work but Jane didn't mind. All she wanted was to stay in Maura's arms – half-naked in the kitchen – and let the hours fly away through kisses and caresses. A sweet morning. A very sweet one.
The rest could wait.
Her hand slid on the medical examiner's nape. She dragged her closer to her face to deepen the kiss. Maura gently obliged, her bare leg sliding between Jane's. Margot would be up in an hour. It left them plenty of time for a rather intimate breakfast of some sort.
A stifled sound slightly made Jane jump. It had come from the living-room. Probably Bass. She did not pay too much attention to it and preferred to focus on the kiss instead, on Maura's fingers playing with the hem of her shirt and her knee brushing her inner thigh playfully.
"See you at the BPD, girls!"
The main door got slammed. They froze.
No. No no no no no. Not that. No. You're just hearing things that don't exist, Rizzoli. It's okay. Don't panic. I said: don't panic. Nothing happened. Absolutely nothing.
"Oh God."
Jane made a face. Maura's reaction wasn't helping. She reluctantly looked up at the door. Of course it was too late and her mother was gone, now. Her mother. How had this happened? How come she hadn't heard her come in – cross the living-room to pick up the mail that had disappeared from the desk as Jane could now see it – and walk to the door to leave? It was unbelievable. Completely unbelievable.
"Maybe she didn't see us...?"
Maura stared at her as if she had lost her mind. Fair enough. Her comment didn't make sense at all. Her mother had talked to them before leaving. That was enough of a fact to prove the opposite. Of course, she had seen them.
She had seen them wearing nothing but a shirt and hipsters, making out rather suggestively against the kitchen counter at 6am. This couldn't be good. Not at all.
And welcome back to reality, Rizzoli.
Maura moved to the fridge, not really knowing what to say. Thousand of sentences were bumping onto each other in her head but her brain was unable to pick one for her to say out loud. She was just as embarrassed as Jane was. Although if she had to be honest, her partner was actually closer to a state of panic than anything else.
"I think... Ahem... I think I'll have a shower now." Jane turned around – still shocked – and began to slowly walk to the stairs. End of the festivities. Back to reality. Harshly.
"Wait!"
She stopped. Maura grabbed her wrist and forced her to look at her in the eyes. She did. Maura looked sorry but oddly determined. Her embarrassment was gone.
"Maybe we should say something... At some point...?"
If this is your way to be brave, Isles, next time you can shut up. Really. Your remark isn't helping at all right now. It sounded more like a question than anything.
Jane looked down and sighed. As much as she knew that it was the next step, she wasn't eager to go and make it. She liked it the way it was now. All quiet and secretive. Frost had promised to not say anything and she trusted him. Things would be different once it became official. She wasn't ready.
But she didn't have much of a choice, now.
She ran a hand through her hair and sighed. It wasn't the end of the world. Constance had made it clear that her mother was okay with it. Anyway, she wasn't afraid of saying it. No. She just didn't want to share it with anyone because it only belonged to her and Maura.
Once in the open, everyone would claim a bit of it – if only indirectly – and she hated that. They would lose the freedom they were having now.
There are many things you need to talk about, with so many people. You might not like it but it's how life works and you know it. It's time for you to assume it, Rizzoli.
"We will get through it. You don't have to worry about it."
She nodded. Maura was right. Together, they could do it. They were a team, they had always been one; a fantastic one, besides. They wouldn't suffer from it. She wouldn't let it happen, anyway.
"I love you." Maura's voice brought warmth to her heart.
She let her take her in her arms and welcomed the kiss on her cheek with a smile. She closed her eyes and swallowed hard until her lips curled up in a smile.
"I love you more."
Maura laughed and looked up at her lover.
"I thought it wasn't a contest."
Jane pouted – pondered the words – and wrinkled her nose.
"I changed my mind." She shrugged. "And I win."
"I doubt so..."
Maura leaned up on her tiptoes and captured Jane's lips for a long - sincere - kiss. What could she say? They both had a competitive spirit. Some things would never change, obviously.
