A/N: This chapter is extra long for two reasons: 1. It was my birthday yesterday (yay meeeeee) and as a gift to you all, I figured why not! 2. There's a surprise at the end and I didn't feel right breaking this into two parts. Anyway as all ways enjoy!

And as always, I must encourage you to read Price of Our Sins by x XRoweenaJAugustineX x because she just updated. Let me tell you, I have a weird relationship with her stories! I get so happy when I read 'em, because they're really good and ugh I just love Jon and Robb... But then I reach the last chapter and I just wanna cry because I have to wait for an update! Signs of a good writer lol

Then there's Dean's Dirty Little Secert, but if you live of TWD, I don't even have to tell you to read her story 'cause I'm sure you already have at this point lol, I'm the one that's behind... Gotta catch up, but so far I'm loving it and if you want some Rick/OC/Daryl drama, that's where you go!

"You know for some reason, I ain't too surprise Merle had the clap." Alice spoke attempting to distract T-dog. Maggie smiled at the comment, but stayed silent. Alice enjoyed Maggie's company. It was a nice change to be around a woman that hadn't slept with her husband, was angry with the world and glaring daggers at everyone but Shane, or crying every night about her missing daughter. Maggie seemed pretty laid back for the most part and didn't seem to bring drama.

"I really don't wanna think about Merle having the clap." T-dog grunted through clenched teeth. His injured arm was outstretched across a table in the parlor and Patricia sat across from him.

"Him having it was the best thing to happen to you." Patricia informed, still focused on stitching his wound.

Glenn and T-dog had popped up on Hershel's farm after night fall. T-dog had blood poisoning and according to Patricia, he would have been dead if he had come any later. Alice had noticed Glenn fidgeting and stealing glances of Maggie. Though everyone was trying to keep the mood light, it wasn't enough to mask the tension in the house. Everyone was worried about Carl and unsure if he would make it through the night. Letting out a soft sigh, Glenn left the house. Maggie stood up and followed behind.

"So Shane went to get the supplies?" T-dog asked, still letting out occasional grunts of pain. Sweat was starting to form on his forehead.

"Yeah, he'll be back." At least she hoped. She wondered what would happen if Shane didn't return. It wasn't something she wanted to think about, but it was a real possibility.

"He's your husband, right?" Patricia asked as she began to cut the medical thread.

"Yeah." Alice replied, her voice low. T-dog tried to look as if he wasn't paying attention to the conversation, but Alice knew he was.

"He seems like a good man." T-dog snorted a laugh, but hushed when Alice glared at him.

That was the problem with meeting new people who didn't know about the past. Shane seemed like a good man, and for the most part he was. He wasn't a good husband though. But that was hard to explain to people who didn't know about his relationship with Lori.

"His pressure has dropped dangerously low. You have to make a decision." Hershel informed, urgency in his voice.

Rick looked at Lori, waiting for her answer. "Lori tell me what to do. You gotta make a decision."

"Do it." Her voice trembled and her eyes watered. It was a hard decision, but she had to make it. Originally she had thought it was a blessing this happened to Carl. If he didn't make it, he would be spared seeing more death and carnage. This world wasn't meant for children. Her mind had been made up until he awoke briefly and began to tell her about the deer he had seen.

She had silently pleaded with Rick to give her a good reason to want Carl to keep living in this world. His answer had surprised her. Rick told her that even though Carl had been shot and had seen more than a boy his age should, all he talked about was the deer when first waking. The negative things weren't what he focused on as Lori had been. He was thinking of life and the simplistic beauty certain things still held. At that moment Lori decided Carl needed to live. Any chance he could be given to life she would take.

Shane and Otis still had not returned and though worried, Carl was the main focus at the moment. Alice was dreading what was about to happen. They had nothing to put Carl under. He would feel everything and be awake for it. One wrong move from him struggling and he would be gone forever.

Lori watched Alice help prep Carl. She hadn't said a word to her since arriving on the farm. She was pretty sure Alice was still mad, but it was almost admirable that the blonde could put her anger aside long enough to help her son. That was the good thing about Alice. She loved Carl and no ill feelings towards either of his parents could stop her from helping him. She made a mental note to thank Alice no matter how this ended.

Hershel looked up from the boy and to his parents. "You may want to step outside." He knew what he was about to do would be too much for the parents to witness. He could only imagine how Rick would act after seeing how he got when Hershel had dug for a bullet shard.

This was no shard through. He was going to be cutting this boy open without anesthesia. Just as he was about to start, everyone stopped moving. They heard a car pulling up to the front of the house. There was an overwhelming feeling of hope that it was Otis and Shane. Everyone, save for Patricia and Carl, ran out of the room.

Shane stepped out of that car carefully. His ankle was throbbing and his whole body was sore. He spotted Rick and Lori first, then everyone else. He pulled the bags from the car and limped carefully over to the group. He noticed the confused look on Hershel's face.

"Where is Otis?" he asked. There was the dreaded question. He had mentally prepared himself for it the whole drive, but it wasn't enough when he was actually asked.

"He told me to go ahead. He said he'd be right behind me. I looked back and…" His eyes were wide, as if in deep shock. "He wasn't there."

The mood was somber and no one knew what to say. Shane looked down at the ground. He knew what really happened and though he had a good reason for his actions, he felt like a monster. He had done something he never thought he was capable of. The intent behind what he did was good, but he felt himself starting to become unhinged even more. Every move he made lately had good intentions behind it, but the results just kept blowing up in his face. Things kept happening that was forcing him to be someone he never imagined.

"No one tells Patricia until after the surgery. I need her. Come on Alice."

"You cut your hair." Alice noted, sitting across from Shane. Carl's surgery had been a success. Now it was up to his body from this point on.

"Yeah, needed a change." His eyes were glued to her face, taking in her delicate features.

Alice cleared her throat, shifting slightly in discomfort. "Looks good." His injured leg rested on her lap while her fingers wrapped his ankle. "You know the drill. Don't apply too much pressure on it."

"Got it." He let her lower his leg gently back to the floor. He bent down and unrolled the overall pant leg. For a moment, he was hit by a wave if guilt. The clothes that donned his body belonged to Otis. He shook his head. Now wasn't the time to think of what he did. "Can we talk Alice?"

"About?" she had helped him and was glad to see Shane, but that didn't change things between them.

"You know what. Alice, I don't know how many times I can say sorry. You gotta believe I didn't mean to hurt you." but he had. "I never felt for those women what I feel for you." Lori didn't count as one of those random women. "I love you." He really did.

Alice looked away from his pleading face and shook her head. 'Sorry' was being said way too much for her liking lately. "What do you want me to do with that confession of yours?"

"To say you'll give us another chance."

"Would be nice, huh?" She stood up from the chair and began to leave the room. Before exiting out the door, she paused and looked back at her husband. "Funny thing is at one point I would have been thrilled by your apology. I would have believed you and hung on every word. I don't care much nowadays. You're my husband and I can't erase our past, but things will never go back to the way they were. I couldn't live with myself if I let it."

He stood up and limped over to her. "If you just gave me a chance Alice, we can fix this." He placed his cool hand on her cheek.

Alice leaned into his touch for a moment. "You know I can't do that Shane." She mumbled before kissing his palm softly. She knew she was supposed to be angry with him, but it was hard to throw out seven years of memories they built together. "I gave you seven years' worth of chances. I couldn't forgive myself if I gave you another."

"If I left Alice, would that make you happy?" he suddenly asked, dropping his hand from her face to shoulder. "Would you be happy not to see my face anymore?"

Her brows furrowed together. "Are you planning on leaving?"

"Please, just answer me. Would you be better off if I just left?"

There was a moment of silence. Alice let out a soft sigh, taking a step away from him and his touch. "No. I think you should stay."

"Why should I stay Alice?" his tone was pleading, hoping for a certain answer.

"The group needs you."

"But do you need me?" He began to run a finger across her collarbone, slowly. His touch was so light, Alice questioned if he was even really touching her. He stepped closer to her body, her scent of sweat and an odd sweetness filled his nostrils. "I need you."

His voice was low and grew husky. He leaned his head down and placed a kiss on her forehead, testing the waters. When she didn't push him away, his slightly dry lips pressed against her cheek. Alice's eyes fluttered closed and her body trembled with an involuntary want to feel this man's touch. This was wrong, but why couldn't she pull away when he tilted her head to the side and kissed her neck? Why did she let him pull her body against his hard one?

Hearing a low growl erupt from Shane made Alice's eyes snap open and jerk away from him. He had tried to seduce her, and it almost worked.

"What's wrong with you Shane? Why do you think that's alright?" she ran a frustrated hand through her messy hair. "Do you expect me to jump into your arms, say I can't live without you here, let you screw me, and that be the end to all our problems?" She kept a brave face, but her erratic heartbeat gave away how she really felt.

"No." He replied, his voice still low. "I don't, but I need to know if you want me here. I'll leave if you don't Alice."

He reached for her again, but this time she smacked his hand away. "I don't need you here. I want you here. Not because I'm in love with you." She clarified. "We have years together that I can't erase and they still mean something to me. It doesn't matter what's going on with the world. You're still my husband and I do still care about you. I'm not in love with you. Don't ask me to tell you that or try to convince me that I do. And don't try and seduce me either."

Met by silence from Shane, Alice shook her head softly before leaving the room. She needed to get away from him. It was so easy to hate him when they weren't having civil conversation and he wasn't that close to her. He had risked his life to save Carl and he could have died along with Otis. She wasn't sure how she would have felt if he died, but it wasn't enough to make her give him another chance. Of course she still loved him and she wouldn't be able to drop him over night, but denying him another chance was a small step in the right direction.

Shane sat back down and rested his head in the palms of his hands. Alice hadn't said what he wanted to hear exactly, but he would accept it. She didn't need him there, but wanting him there meant more. He was sure she wouldn't allow him to fix what he did, but knowing she still had a place in her heart for him would be enough for now. If Lori felt the same way, he would stay. He wouldn't stay where he wasn't wanted. Those two women held more weight on his decision whether to stay or not than he wanted to admit. He loved them both in different ways. They both provided something different for him that made it hard to let either go, but if both wanted him to disappear, he would.

Shane stared up at a spot on the ceiling, his arms resting behind his head against the pillow. Hershel had given them permission to sleep in the house that night considering they didn't have their camping gear and it had been a rough day. Maggie had offered to share her room with Alice, and not much to Shane's surprise, his wife accepted.

He hated laying in this bed in this house. Otis stayed in this house. Through the thin walls Shane heard soft sobs. The guilt was eating at him more with every sniffle he heard Patricia let out. He was wearing that man's clothes, hearing that man's wife cry and he had to lie about what happened. It had to be done though. Carl was alive, so that made it worth it, right? The look on Lori's face when Hershel told them Carl was still alive had been one he was glad to witness. It was because of what he did that Carl got a second chance and Lori got to keep her son alive. Perhaps he also did it because he wanted some sort of redemption with Rick. Saving his son would be like a silent apology for fucking his wife and not being able to let his feelings go for the woman. It would be his way to show Lori that he did care, they weren't just words to get her to love him back. He risked his life for Carl.

Otis had to die so Shane could live. He had to live to show Rick and Lori both that he was sorry and really did care about their family. Lori said she wanted Shane to stay. He heard what he had been longing to hear and at that moment it didn't matter if it was said because she was grateful for what he did for Carl or because she loved him. Lori and Alice wanted him to stay. Did it have to do with Otis being dead and the reality that he too could have died that night?

Why did he feel like a piece of shit even though what he did was a necessary evil? That man, Otis, had Shane's back. He was the one that volunteered to show Shane where the high school was, but he also had been the one slowing them down. It was Otis or Shane. One of them had to go so Carl could get what he needed.

The one to be sacrificed had to be Otis. Shane tried to reason with himself that it wasn't his fault that it didn't occur to Otis to use him as walker bait first. Maybe it did, but Otis didn't act on it because he felt they both could make it out. What did it even matter anymore? Otis was dead now, Shane made it back, and Carl got to live. Never did Shane think he had it in him to do such an act of heartlessness, but times and circumstances were different. If him throwing an innocent man to the wolves was what it took to come back alive, so be it.

But the guilt was still there. The reasoning made sense to Shane, but the shame was still there. Tomorrow would be a funeral for Otis. Naturally, he had to attend. He tried to get out of it, knowing how wrong it was to go to the man he killed funeral, but Patricia had insisted before she went to bed. She had said he was the last to see Otis alive, he was last to witness the heroic deed her husband had done to save a child.

Heroic. That was the word she used. Otis died a hero in their eyes. Shane would let them keep thinking that. They didn't need to know that Shane shot Otis, leaving him handicap. They didn't need to know the look of shock and fear that filled the older man's eyes as Shane tried to wrestle the medical supplies from him. No one needed to know how hard Otis fought to live or at least bring Shane down with him. The screams of pain and sounds of flesh being ripped from bone would remain only with Shane.

Because Otis died a hero.

Dale stepped out of the RV and looked around. The farm was a sight to see. There were animals roaming and compared to what was going on outside the farm, this place was like paradise. It was peaceful and the people on it looked nice enough. He spotted Lori and Rick and noticed neither looked too tense. He could only assume Carl was fine. Then there was Alice. He saw her smiling at him kindly. It was nice to have one blonde that didn't roll her eyes at the mere site of him.

"How is Carl?"

"He's fine." Lori answered, getting chocked up. "He's gonna be alright."

"That's great news." Dale spoke as he hugged Rick. "Did T-dog make it with Glenn?"

Alice gave a nod, her hands tucked in her pant pockets. "Yeah, T-dog slept in and Glenn's somewhere around here." Her smile turned into one that taunted a person with unknown knowledge. Dale knew instantly that Alice had an idea where Glenn was hiding. "There's a funeral later today."

"What happened?" Dale asked, almost afraid the answer would have something to do with Sophia.

"A man died last night. He was part of their group. Otis was his name. He went with Shane to get some supplies so Carl could get the operation he needed."

"And how is Shane?"

"He's alright. Just twisted his ankle real good."

Dale nodded his head, but remained quiet. It didn't sit well with him that a man that had been with Shane died. He had gotten a glimpse of what Shane was capable of. Though he didn't pull the trigger on Rick, the fact that the thought even occurred to Shane put Dale on high alert with the former deputy. Now a man was dead. Maybe things did just go south and this Otis couldn't keep up. That was a high possibility and had Otis been with anyone other than Shane, he would have believed it.

"Carl woke up and asked about Sophia." Rick adjusted his sheriffs hat, shielding the bright sun light from his eyes the best he could.

"What did you tell him?" Alice tugged down the bottom of the tank top she had been lent. It was a little small on her, showing more of her taut tummy than she felt comfortable with. The shirt belonged to another Greene daughter named Beth, half-sister to Maggie. Maggie had lent it to her, telling her it probably wouldn't be good for anyone's psyche to see Alice walking around with blood on her clothes.

"I told him we found her."

The pair sat on the steps of Hershel's house, leaving a good amount of space between them. Neither had brought the kiss back up, but it still felt too soon to be close to each other. "You feel bad cause you lied?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah. I did it so he would relax, you know? But I still feel bad."

"Don't. You did what you thought was best at the time."

"A lot of the things I do in the heat of the moment backfire on me Alice."

They both understood the double meaning to his words. It was nice to be able to talk to Alice again, but he still felt tension between them. He silently wondered if things would ever go back to how it used to be.

"How's Lori doing?" she asked, needing to change the topic. Not that Lori was someone she really wanted to talk about.

"She's better now that Carl's fine." Carl was better and Lori went back to treating him how she had before their son was shot. "I um wanna ask you something Alice."

"What?"

"What happened between you two? Ya'll used to giggle like school girls together. I haven't seen you two together much."

"Sometimes it's better not to know everything that's going on Rick." She stood up and glanced down at him. "I'm gonna go see if anyone needs help."

Rick shot up from his seat and grabbed her elbow. She jerked back slightly, her back hitting his broad chest. "Alice, talk to me." He pleaded softly, his warm breath hitting the back of her head. Alice could feel her heart beating erratically in her ribcage from being so close to him. He smelled lightly of sweat and the trees that surrounded the outskirts of the farm. It was hard for her not to notice how hard his abdominal felt against the smalls of her back.

"About what Rick?" she tried to will her legs to move, but they were traitors, refusing to walk.

"About what's bothering you. I know I fucked up that night, but you can't keep punishing me. I have no right to ask you to ignore what I did, but damn it, tell me what I gotta do to make things right. I keep apologizing."

A tingle went down her spine, when his hands took a hold of her upper arms to keep her from fleeing. "I don't want your apology."

He moistened his lips before speaking again. "You keep telling me what you don't want, never what you do."

"I don't know." There was a pregnant pause, neither knowing what to say. Alice began to wonder if he knew what such close contact was doing to her. They shouldn't have been this close to one another, especially in front of Hershel's house. Her brain screamed for her to pull away before things got dangerous, but her body told her she was already gone.

She carefully pulled away from Rick, causing his arms to drop to his sides. He was about to give up until he saw she had turned to face her. He was confused by the look on her face. It was one he had never seen on her.

Alice took a deep breath. Her mind was telling her this couldn't happen, it would only make things worse, but her hand still reached up and caressed his cheek. Rick didn't move, curious as to what her next move would be. He let his eyes flutter for a moment under her soft touch.

This was bad. They shouldn't have been doing this. Lori and Shane were inside the house and at any moment, either one could come outside. They both knew better, but when Alice stood on her toes and her eyes slowly closed, all common sense was out the door.

Her lips pressed against his softly and for a moment she feared she screwed up bad when he stood motionless, but then his lips began to move against hers. Trapping her bottom lip between his, Rick applied more pressure. His arms snaked around her waist and pulled her body close, her toes almost dangling off the ground. It felt surreal when she wrapped her arms around his neck and tilted her head to deepen the kiss. Alice let out the softest, sweetest sigh Rick had ever heard when his tongue lightly licked her lower lips. Without hesitation, her lips parted, letting him in. Their tongues waltzed together as if they had done this dance before. She tasted like juicy apples. Alice arched her back, forcing her body more into Rick's. His head changed angles, letting him explorer her mouth in a new way.

Slowly, unwillingly, the two parted. With heavy breaths, they looked at each other for a moment before breaking apart. Alice looked down at her shoes, unsure of what to say. It was easier to react when alcohol was in both of their systems.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled. What had she done? Her body yearned for his lips to press against hers again.

Rick ran his hand through his hair, and tugged on the roots for a moment. "Don't… Alice I… Fuck…"

"I shouldn't have done that. It was stupid and I know better. I don't know what I would have done if someone walked out and-"

"It's fine." Rick spoke, cutting her off. "I need… A walk." He began to walk away from the house, but noticed he was alone. Looking over his shoulder he called out to Alice. "Are you coming? We should talk."

"I… Ok." She scampered behind him, making sure not to walk too close.

"What did I just see?"

"Something interesting." Maggie joked, leaning against the window frame.

Glenn's brows furrowed as he took a step back from the dark haired woman. "That isn't funny."

"Made me laugh."

"This is serious. Those two…" Glenn looked around the room quickly. "They're married to other people."

"What's your point? Just cause you're married, don't make you happy."

"Should I like… Say something?"

"No." Maggie replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Stay out of their mess. You said they all knew each other before the outbreak, right?" Glenn nodded. "Well, leave it alone. You don't know their history."

"Stay out of their mess, huh?" He had a feeling that was going to be easier said than done.

A/N: So, I would say I haven't updated because I've been lazy but hahaha! That wasn't the reason this time! I actually am so behind because I had to rework a lot of things to make that little Rick/Alice moment happen sooner than I originally had it set for. And thanks to x XRoweenaJAugustineX x and a few others for throwing subliminal about how long it was taking, I figured eh, what the hell, whhhhyy not? RICK NEED LOVE TOO DAMNIT!

x XRoweenaJAugustineX x: lol you know, I never noticed Carl being safer when he goes on his own, but its true! And I am too damn happy to finally take this story to season two when it gets all juicy and soap opera-ish. I loves the drama! Annnnd I hope this chapter, with its little action, was good to you though. It will only get saucy-errrrr lol

Dean's Dirty Little Secert: I read the first chapter to Journey Homewards and whaaaat?! I should be praising you like crazy and I'm saying this after reading one part! I am looking forward to reading the rest but geez some Rick and Daryl action with an OC is a dream come true lol

Leyshla Gisel: I've missed you too! But I'm back now and inspired so no more missing anyone! I'm excited to see what you think of this chapter though =)

bluecrush611: To be honest, I debated on how to handle Shane's crazy self once he got back and if Alice should calm or add to the crazy... I think she should add to it.

deelove1: I was just too excited to see how the 'new' Alice would handle the crazy Shane. That's what I'm most excited for you guys to read!

Sharpie-Marker1101: *blushes* You're too kind! I'm glad Alice is growing on you though! Lol I knooooow, but Alice can't be too mean to Shane... Yet. Psssh the way Rick handles a lot of things pisses me off lol

The-Originals-Rock: I've always tried to like Lori, really I have. But geez... She makes herself so unlikable all on her own!

samasbananas: I knoooow but hey, at least Rick and Alice finally made progress... Finally lol Hmm tell you what, if you're still interested in Alice/Daryl, I'll write a oneshot for it

: I hope you like this part, I know how much it was killing me and everyone else that it was taking sooo friggen long for something to happen between them!

JadedTinks, Straight Edge Queen, anparker09, AthenaB: Thank you for reading! I finally updated and don't worry, Alice and Rick are only going to get better from this point on =)