Gibbs/Allison Series:
Choosing Between Old & New # 5
By: MchakotayParis (R. Mason)
Chapter 5
As always Ali slept the whole trip down to Chesapeake Beach only waking when the car pulled into the sandy driveway of her beach house. As the driver sat watching the woman in the back slowly wake up he once again hoped everything would work out for her. After a few minutes she sat up then stretched reaching for her bag which she'd put on the floorboard in front of her. He quickly got out of the car, taking both bags to the front porch then returned to the car to open the door for the woman in the back. As Ali exited the car she handed the man a wade of bills, then slowly walked to the house. After waiting until the woman had opened the door and entered the driver finally returned to his car and pulled away. A few miles down the road he stopped and pulled the money out of his pocket. Balled up was one hundred dollars in twenties, as he turned around and looked back down the road that lead to the beach house he smiled. That was the easiest hundred he'd even made, he just hoped that he didn't come to regret it.
As Ali stood in the small hallway of their beach house she was beginning to wonder if this was such a good idea. She didn't know the names or even how to contact the ladies who usually got the beach house ready for them because Daddy usually took care of that so now it was left for her to handle. God she hated being Allison sometimes! For a fleeting moment she thought about calling back the driver and asking him to take her back to D.C. but then she realized that she didn't know his name either. Auggie had taken care of that as well, she was screwed. Oh well, she'd taken care of herself before so she could do it again, at least she hoped she could. So after a few deep breaths Ali gathered herself for what lay ahead.
Moving into the house Ali dropped her bags in her bedroom then slowly started removing all the dust clothes for the furniture. After folding them as best as she could she put them in the utility room and started looking for the items she would need to clean the house. Everything was exactly as they'd left it the last time they'd been there so she quickly found the needed items and after a few hours of cleaning the house was ready for her extended stay.
After a quick shower and change Ali was dressed in a pair of sweatpants, tee-shirt and tennis shoes. She knew it was getting close to Auggie's time to call her so she turned on the computer and got online ordering all of the extra things she might need. A few minutes before ten o' clock Ali opened up the video conferencing program and waited for Auggie's call. At ten o' clock she heard Auggie's request and with nervous fingers accepted the request.
A small box open and the smiling face of Augustina Chandler appeared on Allison's computer. "Hi baby girl, how are you feeling?" asked Auggie as she sat down in front in front of her computer, unknown to Ali with a link to Gibbs and Tobias' computer as well.
Both men sat nervously in front of Ali's computer and when the box opened showing Ali they sighed with relief reaching for each other's hands. They knew that Auggie had told them that they could hear and see Ali but couldn't speak to her but until they saw their little girl they weren't sure that this would work. Now as they watched their little girl they could see the stress she was under. She had reverted to wearing her oversized sweatpants and tee-shirts again, and probably only wearing her "day time" pants.
"I'm okay, Auggie. A little tired and sore but not too bad" answered Ali as she unconsciously reached down rubbing her stomach. She's probably done too much and pulled some of the muscles in her stomach.
"Well why don't you take it easy for the rest of the morning, then fix lunch and take your nap" suggested Auggie
"I still need to call "Grandma Rachael" and ask her to bring some food Auggie" replied Ali
Quickly a small IM message box appeared on Gibbs and Tobias's computer "Who is Grandma Rachael?" typed Auggie
Damn, they hadn't thought about the house not being ready for her to come down or their not being any food. Since Auggie had told then she'd gotten a car to drive her down, Ali was there without a car so she couldn't go and get food.
"Rachael Peters, the owner of the general store in Chesapeake Beach. Rachael and her husband Todd have sort of adopted Ali as their "little one" when were down there." typed Tobias quickly.
"Will she bring food for Ali?" typed Auggie
"Jethro is calling her now and explaining things" typed Tobias as Jethro moved away from the computer and quickly dialed the Peter's number. After a few minutes of explaining he returned with a nod of his head. "Rachael said she would bring food for Ali after she called, but she's not happy" typed Tobias
"Neither am I, because we didn't think about this part of the plan but at least we've taken care of it now" typed Auggie
"Auggie? Are you still here?" asked Ali, as her voice brought the all back to the fact that she was supposed to be talking to Ali
"I'm here baby girl, I'm sorry got distracted" answered Auggie shyly
"If….if you need me to hang up I can…." stammered Ali
"No…baby girl….No. I'm sorry. You have my undivided attention now. Is there any food in the house at all you can eat until you call Grandma Rachael?" asked Auggie
"Uhhh…I think we still have some peanut butter and jelly but I don't think we have any bread"
"Would you go and check for me sweetie, maybe you can find some crackers or something in the pantry?" suggested Auggie
As she watched Ali leave she feverishly started typing again. "You guys really need to keep at least a little bit of food at the house" typed Auggie
"We were there last in July Auggie, we didn't think we'd be back until the spring or summer at least and we were planning on it being the three of us" typed Gibbs
"I'm sorry guys, I'm just worried about Ali" typed Auggie
"Well don't be, there should be some Roman noodles in the pantry and I think we left a few frozen T.V dinner in the freezer" typed Tobias over Gibbs shoulders
"Thank God" typed Auggie
Just then Ali returned holding said items in her hands. "I found these Auggie, are they okay?" asked Ali
"Yes sweetie, either one of those are fine until your Grandma Rachael arrives. Which would you like to eat?" asked Auggie with a sad smile, she had regressed to the point where she really needed someone to tell her what to do. They may not be able to give her as much time as they thought after all.
"I think I want the Roman noodles cause my tummy hurts a little" said Ali softly
"That's fine little girl, do you think you can follow the direction to make them?" asked Auggie
"I think so Auggie, just put them in a bowl, add water and cook in the microwave for five minutes"
"Good girl, now after lunch I want you to take a nap okay?"
"Okay, Auggie?" asked Ali shyly
"Yes baby girl"
"Do you think that I could put on a diaper even though it's not bedtime yet?"
"Ohhhhh…yes baby girl. You can wear a diaper all the time if you'd like to little one. You don't have to be Allison unless you want to be" replied Auggie
"Thank you Auggie" whispered Ali with a sigh of relief
"Ali, can you do me a favor after you get up from your nap?" asked Auggie
"Yes ma'am"
"Can you draw me a picture of how your feeling right now. You know like we did before, a happy, sad, upset or mad picture" asked Auggie
"I think so" said Ali
"Good girl, then I'll call back later tonight and take a look at it okay? And if you want you can draw more than one, however you're feeling alright sweetie?"
"Okay Auggie, Auggie….I love you" whispered Ali the last part so softly that she barely heard it
"I love you too sweetie, talk to you later Okay" said Auggie as she closed Ali's video conference window and set a request for one to Tobias and Gibbs.
As the request popped up on their screen Tobias quickly opened it and saw the worried face of Augustina Chandler
"Is she alright, was that normal for her Auggie?" asked Gibbs worriedly, he had never seen Ali seemingly so lost and helpless before.
"She's gone back to her "baby baby Ali" mode, it was how she was at night when she was coping with her siblings by herself. At night after all the kids were asleep she would turn into a helpless baby hiding under the covers of her bed to keep anyone from seeing her"
"Damn, we can't leave her like that we've got to do something!" exclaimed Gibbs loudly from behind Tobias.
"Jethro, Jethro calm down! I understand your frustration but getting upset isn't going to help. Ali will come out of it we just have to give her time. I'll call her back tonight and see how she's doing and if I feel she's regressing I'll give you a call and you can go down but otherwise we need to let her work through this. She's probably acting like that because she's tired from having to get the house livable. The more tired she was the helpless she would act"
"God I hope you're right, I don't know if I can stand her being like that by herself" said Gibbs wearily
"You're going to have to Jethro and it breaks my heart just as much as it does yours. Now how did Ali's "Grandma Rachael" take the news?"
"Not well, she's upset but understands that Ali needs to think things through so she's promise to leave her alone"
"Good but it's nice to know that she has someone close by if we need her in a pinch. Now here's what I need from both of you, I need you two to be ready with cases covered and days off if I need to have you go and get Ali. I'd hate to have to tell her that her daddies can't come down just because they have a case" said Auggie with a laughing but serious undertone.
"Consider it done" replied Tobias
"Good, it might not hurt to have your bags packed as well so if you have to leave in a hurry you can. Also, does she have toys or activities that you three did together down there?"
"Some, but mostly it was stuff for the warmer months" said Gibbs
"Alright, stock up on some of your favorite things to do together. Puzzles, coloring, Lego's, movies anything you or your family did with Ali. She's going to need that familiar bonding when you go down there. And take pictures or movies of the family, talk about Abby, Tony, Tim, Ziva, Jimmy and Ducky and how they want to and miss spending time with her. Anything to get her back into her life as Ali"
"Okay, we'll do that. And we'll have the rest of the family make videos for her as well. Auggie, are you sure this is going to work?" asked Gibbs with a heavy sigh
"Nothing is certain Jethro, but she's has a strong foundation in family with you guys so I feel she has a good shot of coming out of this only slightly changed"
"I hope you're right Auggie" sighed Gibbs then closed the window and leaned back in his chair covering his face with his hands. Gods it was so hard to watch their baby girl go through this and not be there with her. As Gibbs leaned back Tobias' arms encircled his shoulders and together they sat there just holding each other.
"So do I Jethro, so do I" replied Auggie quietly as she sat staring at her computer screen. Al had regressed a little farther that Auggie had hoped she would be there was still a chance to get her back.
After that she called Grandma Rachael and explained things to her, promising to take care of herself and that if she needed anything she would call. Then Ali went in the kitchen and fixed her lunch, taking it into the patio room to eat. Around noon she cleaned up the kitchen and returned to her bedroom to change into her diaper and a tee-shirt. With a contented sigh she snuggled down with her "Puffalump" and pacifier to take her nap.
-NCIS-
Two hours later Ali woke to a wet diaper and after a quick change she spent the time until Rachael arrived in the living room watching television. When the knock on the door came Ali panicked for a few minutes until she heard the soothing voice of Rachael Peters calling to her through the door.
"Ali honey, it's Rachael. Please little one, let me in."
Scrambling quickly off the couch Ali raced to the door and opened it finding the older woman standing on the porch with several boxes of grocery bags around her feet.
"Grandma….." cried Ali as she hesitated for a second, then as Rachael opened her arms she threw herself into the older woman's arms.
"Ohhhhh sweetheart" whispered Rachael as wrapped her arms around the younger woman and kissed her head softly
"I'm sorry grandma…."
"Shhh…little one, it's going to be alright. Grandma's here, grandma's here." whispered Rachael as she led Ali back into the house and sat with her on the couch.
They sat like that for about ten minutes then Ali sniffed and raised her head from Rachael's chest. If she was going to be Allison for good now she really needed to get ahold of herself.
"I'm sorry Rachael I don't mean to be such a bother to you and Todd" said Allison as she moved slightly out of the older woman's arms.
Rachael let her go then looked at the woman sitting beside her. "You know you are never a bother to us Ali, now how about you help me bring in the groceries then we'll see what else you need before I head back Okay?" asked Rachael. This must be the Allison that Jethro told her about, well if this is what Ali or Allison needed then she would support her. With a gently squeeze to her leg Rachael rose from the couch and headed towards the door.
A few minutes later Ali followed and together they quickly put the groceries and items that Rachael brought away after another small conversation Rachael left promising to check in on her again and a promise to herself to call Jethro and Tobias and have a little talk.
Ali spent the rest of the afternoon in the patio room coloring several pictures two of which she decided she would show Auggie. When she heard the request she got up off the floor and carried her pictures into the living room, sitting down in front of the computer. When Auggie's face appeared on her computer Ali sighed softly and relaxed just a little leaning back in the chair.
"Hi sweetie, how are you feeling?" asked Auggie as she quickly observed the woman. She still wore her tee-shirt but she looked a little more relaxed.
"I'm doing good Auggie, and before you ask yes Rachael has brought the food by so I have something to eat for dinner" answered Allison
So now she was Allison, okay let's see where she was as Allison thought Auggie than answered "Great then I won't have to worry about that. Now did you do what I asked?"
"Yes ma'am" sighed Allison then reached over and placed one of the pictures in front of the computer. It was her happy picture. Ali had drawn several small pictures of places and people where she was happy. Her house, the beach house, playing with Gibbs and Tobias, bowling with Abby and the Nuns, going to the museum with Tim, watching a movie with Tony, cooking with Ziva or snuggling up with Ducky or Jimmy reading to her.
"That's great Allison, you did a wonderful job. Was that the only picture you drew?" asked Auggie as the picture was dropped and she saw the smiling face of Allison. So she'd gone back to the beginning, back to when she had first meet Allison when she was eight to ten. Well that wasn't the best time for her but at least she was still reachable. That time had been a learning period for both of them but it had worked out and now they had a good relationship.
A few minutes later another filled her screen, while a few of the pictures she had seen before most of them Auggie had not. Ali had drawn a picture of when her father had first discovered her wearing a diaper, the night that both the Admiral and her mother had left her and her brother and sisters. Both little pictures Auggie had seen before, as a matter of fact they were still in her personal file she kept of Allison but the rest were foreign to her. One was of a man standing in front of another person with their arm wrapped around their neck pointing a gun, the next was of two people in an airplane crash both looked scratched up and hurt, another was of a large dark forest with two people hiding down a ravine one of the person hurt the other trying to help, and the last was of four people standing in a living room arguing and saying mean and hateful words to each other.
"Allison sweet, will you tell me about the scenes in your picture?" asked Auggie.
The picture stayed in place for a few minutes then with a sigh, it dropped and Auggie saw Allison's face again. Now was the hard part, Ali was good at drawing but sometimes had a hard time explaining things so mostly she just asked simple questions until she found the answers but these pictures happened during her life with Tobias and Gibbs and she wasn't privy to what went on in their personal life. So now she had to ask the dreaded question and hope that Allison would explain.
"This one here" started Allison as she pointed to the two people standing front to back "Was when I was kidnapped by a bad man and Dad…I mean Gibbs and his team rescued me. The next one was when Pa…I mean Tobias and I were kidnapped and in a plane crash" explained Allison as she pointed to the image. "Then we were in a big forest and Tobias fell down a ravine and he wanted me to leave him. The last one was when Gibbs' father came over and found about me…" answered Allison with a little hitch in her voice.
Both Auggie, Tobias and Gibbs sat silently watching Allison sitting there quietly looking down at her hands. After a moment Auggie found her voice and in a slightly shaking voice asked.
"Allison, may I see the picture again?"
After a few minutes the picture reappeared on the screen and it was clear without a doubt that the pictures that Allison had drawn represented the bad or frightening times she's had in her life with Jethro and Tobias. This time it was on Auggie's computer that an IM box popped up saying one thing "Auggie"
After shaking herself from her fog Auggie responded quickly. "Hold on Jethro, Tobias. This is actually really good, you noticed she never said that either one of you hurt or scared her and she even mentioned Gibbs rescuing her. It's the situation that has her scared or upset not the people" typed Auggie quickly then turned her attention back to Allison.
"Thank you sweet, can I ask you to save those for me to look at again maybe later?" asked Auggie
"Uh huh" said Allison softly
"Thank you sweetheart, now how about you spend the rest of the day just resting or watching television and I'll talk to you tomorrow Okay?"
"Yes ma'am" answered Allison then quickly closed her video conference box and shut down her computer.
On Auggie's computer a video conference box opened showing Gibbs sitting in the chair with Tobias leaning over him his arms wrapped around his shoulders.
"What are we going to do Auggie, do you think it's safe to leave her there alone?" asked Tobias over Gibbs shoulder
"She should be fine guys, Allison has gone back to the same stage she was at when we first started talking. She is very capable of taking care of herself like that and I doubt that she would do anything to harm herself. Right now we need to see how long she stays at this stage before she will allow herself to be Ali"
"God I hate this, I feel like I need to be there for her" said Gibbs softly
"I wish I could let you Jethro but right now if you go down you would just push her away, give her a little more time and hang in there. She's actually not a bad as I thought she would be so I might be able to let you go down by the end of this week"
"Will you tell her were coming?" asked Tobias
"Oh yes, Allison doesn't like surprises although if she's reverted to Ali it might not be as bad. Just wait a little while longer guys, I promise you will be back with your baby girl soon" said Auggie
"If you're sure Auggie" said Gibbs with a sigh then leaned back against Tobias' chest
"I'm sure guys, and I'm here for either one of you as well. If you need me, for anything. Just to talk or even to scream and vent at give me a call. I know this is hard on you as well, but I promise we will get your baby girl back soon" said Auggie then closed the conference window, opening up her word processor to write up her notes while they were fresh in her mind.
For the rest of the afternoon Ali watched television then fixed a light dinner of chicken and rice. After everything was washed and cleaned she then spent the evening on the "play" mattress in the patio room until it turned cold then she went into the living room and found an old baseball game on the television. Curling up with a blanket and her "Puffalump" Ali watched the game remembering the good times she'd spent on the couch between her Daddy and Papa.