A/N: Hey guys! I know I haven't posted in a long time, and I feel like I should tell you why. The day I was going to start writing, I got some news about a family member, who unfortunately died. I had to attend the funeral the next day... I just couldn't bring myself to write anything down for two weeks. As soon as I got back to myself, I resumed writing, and I finished the chapter. I sent it to my beta, but I felt that there was something missing there, so I went back to my word document and read the whole chapter again and added some bits to it. Then I sent it back to my Beta, and I have been waiting for her to send it back to me... As you guys kept asking for the chapter I couldn't keep you waiting for the chapter. Those of you who follow me on tumblr might have figured some of these things out before, since I have repeatedly apologized for taking so long with this chapter. I want to tell you guys that I also started writing chapter 26 while waiting for my beta, so it won't take too long to finish it.
Thank you so much for all of your reviews, thank you so much for those of you who kept sending me messages on tumblr to make me go write -even if I already had the chapter writen-, and thank you to those of you who are still here after such a long wait.
I changed the ending of last chapter a bit, so please go back there and read -at least the end- it again.
One more thing, my beta still hasn't sent the chapter back, so please don't judge me by the mistakes you're most likely going to find in here. I hope you like this chapter!
Chapter 25 – Telling the truth
Chapter 25 – Telling the truth
The next day, both Winchesters walked to school. Dean was feeling bad. His hands hurt like hell and he wanted to run away. But as usual, school came up first before any other thing –unless it was Sammy or Charlie- he had to do or think about. As they got to the parting way between their schools, Dean continued walking, leaving Sam with a short "See you later" and a small smile.
Sam stood there for a few seconds, watching Dean walk away. What he was about to do was only going to work if Dean didn't know. Once he saw that his brother was far away, Sam started walking to his brother's school. He was almost inside, when an arm slung on his shoulders.
"Hey-a Sammy!" Gabriel greeted him, with his usually happy expression, but Sam was too worried to spend time with Gabriel and tried to shove the boy off.
"Sorry, Gabe. I gotta speak to Charlie. Like, right now…" Sam said, walking toward the closed doors of the town's High School.
Being the intuitive boy he was, something didn't feel right to Gabriel. Sam wasn't behaving like usual-he seemed too preoccupied to do anything besides look for Charlie…
"What's wrong?" Gabe asked, his eyes full of concern. He was starting to panic slightly. He knew John was an abusive father, and he didn't know what he could do to help Sam and Dean, even if it was just a little bit. It sucked. Sam didn't know he knew, but he decided that was one of the things that needed to be changed. So Gabriel grabbed Sam's arm when the younger boy tried to walk away from him again. "Did he do anything?"
Sam's eyes widened and he stood there, in front of those gaudy green doors, unable to move. He knows! B-But how does he know? Did Dean tell him? Of course not… Dean was the one who made me promise to never tell anyone! Why would he tell him? He felt conflicted. He knew what he had to do-Play dumb, of course. But he didn't want to be alone with the suffering any longer.
"What?" Sam said innocently, initiating his "play dumb" act. Pretending he didn't know what Gabriel was talking about-he hadn't been specific, "he" could mean anybody.
Gabriel decided it wasn't wise to suddenly say what he needed in front of the whole school, so he pulled Sam's arm –which he was still holding- and took him to the back garden. Their school had two gardens; A front one where everyone was at any given part of the day; and the neglected back garden. No one –except people who wanted to hide out- went there, so it was perfect to have personal talks in there.
Once they got under a tree, Gabriel pulled Sam into a hug. He could read the panic in the young Winchester's face.
"I know he hurts you… Dean didn't tell me anything. I'm just good at noticing things and doing the math later." At Sam's questioning face –which rose from Gabriel's chest-, he decided to elaborate a bit. "Neither of you would let me anywhere near your house, Dean made me promise I would never let Cassie or Balthy go near that place… So it had to be someone from the inside, and –once again, sorry about it– you told me that your mom's dead, so it couldn't be her. You live with Dean and your dad, and Dean loves you more than anything else… So there's just one person left. Your dad, Dean said something like he doesn't trust anyone, that he would shoot me if I ever tried to break into your house… Dean is afraid of him. So, back to the point. What did he do?"
Sam was speechless. He was afraid of telling Gabriel the truth. He was sick of hiding in the dark when he could have someone to help him. He felt like he could trust Gabe. Their friendship had grown closer and now they were each other's best friends. His heart decided for him.
"If I tell you anything…" Sam started, unsure if he was going to regret trusting Gabriel. "…you need to promise me you won't do anything stupid. I mean it. You have to promise!" With that, Sam waited a few seconds, for Gabe's 'I promise' to continue his speech. "First, you need to know that he never laid a finger on me. Dean never let him do anything, and if he did, I'm pretty sure Dean would either kill him or just throw himself in front of me to shield my body from him."
Once again, he stopped for a few seconds. Sam was shaking slightly; he took a deep breath and hugged Gabriel tight. He needed support to continuing telling his tale. Gabriel nodded in understanding and waited in silence for Sam to continue speaking; while he heard the younger teen, he started rubbing comforting circles in his back. "Every time he drinks, he feels like he's in the mood to punish Dean. He feels that Dean isn't obedient enough, that he is a failure, and that the only way to punish him for it is by hurting Dean; both physically and mentally. It started when Dean got a bad grade at school when he was in elementary school. It was just one of those stupid tests teachers made us do; and this one was just one of those where you gotta color the pictures –Dean sucks at painting-, and when he got home barely passing that test, he hit Dean-but just a little bit. After that it started to become a freaking activity. Everything –and I mean everything- Dean did bothered him. It started to get worse when Dean started crying. As soon as it happened, he started getting more and more violent. The first time Dean cried, dad took his belt off and started hitting Dean with it." Sam had to stop talking for a few seconds. Reliving those moments was difficult, just remembering his brother's pain over the years made him feel so bad. That wasn't the worse memory of them all; but it was one of the first times he ever heard his brother howl in pain when he couldn't do anything to help him. Thankfully, Gabriel was pulling him close, so that Sam could feel that he wasn't alone, that someone cared. He was sobbing into Gabe's brown jacket.
"That time I asked Castiel to take Dean to the nurse's office, he threw a knife at Dean's arm." The confession was hard, it made him think about every time he had to stitch his brother up; it made him think that he still couldn't help Dean, not even after so long. Gabriel could see by the way Sam was shaking that he was emotionally devastated. Tears were falling down Sam's cheeks and Gabriel didn't know what to do to make it better. "A-And last n-night…" Sam started hiccupping into Gabe's shoulder. "…L-L-Last ni-night, h-he th-threw a hot pan towards Dean. H-H-He g-got h-his h-his hands burnt." It started to become a bit too much for even Gabriel to take. He felt terrible for Dean, and he didn't know what to do. Sam was a mess in his arms, he wanted to try his best and help the poor boy calm down, but he had no idea where to start. For once, he wanted to just storm their house, and just kill the bastard himself; but he promised he wouldn't do anything. "When I got home…" Sam continued, his voice starting to get a bit steady. "…He was kicking Dean. He said that Dean wasn't strong enough to not howl in pain while getting kicked in the gut. All I wanted to do was to grab Dean and run away. But where would we go? We have nothing… Nowhere to hide from him!"
With that, Gabriel decided it was enough. He couldn't heat about what happened in that place anymore.
"Sam…" He said, startling Sam a bit. Sam was so focused on the past that he momentarily forgot where he was. "You have me… And you have my house. If you ever need to run away from him, come to me. My house is far too big for the small family we are. And you need a place where you can be safe. I don't mean just you, take Dean with you. God, make sure you take Dean with you. Don't you ever leave him alone there."
Of course, those words were not what Sam had expected. He was expecting that Gabriel would just agree and say that they were better off with a roof over their heads and food in their stomachs rather than to leave their house. Listening to Gabriel say that both he and his brother could stay in his place when John became too violent was a bit too much for Sam. He let his arms fall from Gabe's back, so that he could step away for a few seconds. After seeing that Gabriel's eyes were shinning with determination he took a step in again and hugged Gabriel close once more.
"Thank you. You have no idea how much those words mean to me. We also have Bobby, but he would find us there… In fact, it happened before."
Gabriel was a bit taken back by Sam's hug. He thought Sam would just walk away and pretend he wasn't crying. But that hug and those warm words made his chest swell with a warm and fuzzy feeling. Gabe returned the embrace, as tight as he could. It didn't matter that they were in the school gardens. As he felt that fuzzy feeling, he decided it was time. He needed to tell Sam the truth. Carefully, Gabriel pulled away from Sam.
"There's something I need to tell you." Sam looked at Gabriel, not really understanding why Gabe pulled away. "Sam…" Gabriel said, making Sam look him in the eyes. "I'm gonna tell you something. I need you to understand that I didn't have a choice, but I made a choice anyway, ok?" Sam nodded, and so Gabriel took a deep breath. It was time to confess everything. "When I was four years old, Cassie got into an accident. He was in a coma for three weeks and I thought I was never going to see my little brother move from that bed again. Both me and Balthy decided that we couldn't keep ignoring his requests and we decided to do anything he asked from us." At Sam's confused face, Gabriel explained. "We felt that it was our fault he was in a coma. We left him with the nanny while we were playing in the park. If only we had included him…" Gabriel let out a sigh. "But the past is the past, so we decided to change the future. Once he woke up, we were at his every beck and call, and soon we were doing everything for him. He complained for a while, but he kinda got used to it, ya know?" Gabriel smiled slightly upon remembering how Castiel used to pout when they didn't let him do things for himself. "Anyway, we started doing anything he asked us. We wouldn't question it, just do it. Around his fifth grade, he started to change. He started to become more and more popular, but his popularity was a bad one, ya know? He started to be mean to people, and when he asked us to hurt someone, we didn't question him, we simply did as asked. Once he had his mind set on something, he would just do it, or he made us do it. This year, he started paying attention to your brother. He started noticing that Dean was always afraid of people; that Dean flinched whenever people got too close to him… All those little things made him ask me and Balthazar to find out as much as we could about him." Gabriel stopped and looked to Sam's face. He could see that Sam understood where this was going. "And now, we" Gabriel pointed his finger to both himself and Sam. "have to talk about the part where I didn't have a choice." He saw Sam nodding for him to continue. "At first, when I started following you, I did it because he asked me to. I saw how you would just leave school, go home with Dean or Charlie, or you would go to that garage. I saw that you cared about your brother, and you always looked concerned about him. That first time we talked, when you refused my candy, I decided that you were the strangest person ever. I mean, who in their right minds refuses candy!? And so I decided to ask you myself that. But as soon as I tried to talk to you, you left with Dean. When I got home, Cassie came up to my room and he asked me to find out whatever I could about Dean's injury. He asked me to befriend you, find out what he wanted and then tell him." Sam's eyes showed confusion. His mind was telling him that Gabriel was only using him; seeing that in Sam's eyes hurt Gabriel. "And this is the part where I made up a choice. For the first time in a long time, I decided to not do as my brother wanted. We have been friends" And he pointed again to both of them. "for a while now, and you can say that I never, ever, asked anything about Dean's injuries or who did it or whatever Cassie wants to know. Please tell me you understand this."
Gabriel looked between Sam's eyes and the floor. He saw that Sam was trying to understand. Sam was giving his very best to keep all the information in his brain while he thought back to every time they had been together.
"Please explain it again… But cut the crappy details, please." Sam begged. He wanted to make sure he understood everything Gabriel had just told him. Their friendship was too important; he couldn't have a misunderstanding ruining it all.
Gabriel sighed in relief.
"Cassie asked me to befriend you to dig details into what happened to Dean. But you know that I never asked you anything about where he got that wound; you know that I never asked you why I couldn't go to your place; and you know that my friendship is real." Doubt started to make Gabriel worry. He knew he didn't do anything wrong, but he didn't know if Sam would see it that way. "Right?"
Sam's head was spinning. He was sure that the topic of their homes had come up at least once, when Gabriel asked if he could go to Sam's place, but upon being refused, Sam had been asked to go to the other teen's house.
"So, let me get this straight. You chose to be my friend, instead of just pretending…" Sam ended up saying. "Why?"
The question took Gabriel by surprise. It was a welcome surprise, as soon as he decided it was time to tell the truth, his mind decided to show him every bad scenario that could happen. He knew he had to tell Sam, but his mind kept going back to those stupid movies where the other person doesn't understand and simply shouts at them and leaves. He was terrified that would be Sam's reaction, so having the younger teen speak so calmly was a true relief.
"If you really must know why, it's because I'm selfish. For a long time I had no friends. People would try to be my friends and throw themselves at me, so that they could be Cassie's friends. I was lonely. I thought that I would never get the chance to get a friend that didn't want to be his friend. I was jealous that no one wanted my friendship; that they only saw me as a way to get what they really wanted. And when you came into my life, I got an actual friend, a person who could be mine instead of just wanting to use me. When I realized that you didn't have many friends, I thought that maybe this was supposed to be a special thing between us. I knew that you liked me when I convinced you to eat a lollipop; I figured we could be lonely together… I like our friendship a lot. You're my best friend, Sam."
Sam was looking at Gabriel's eyes, his mouth stood wide open and he was didn't know what to say. The things that came out of Gabriel's mouth made him blush. He knew that the other didn't have many friends, but he had never thought it was actually true. After a while of just looking to Gabriel –making the older teen feel extremely uncomfortable- he replied.
"You're my best friend too." The words were just a whisper, but they were there. Those words told Gabriel that he wasn't imagining when he thought that Sam liked him.
A smiled graced Gabriel's features and he decided to speak again.
"So you understand?" He asked, a bit afraid of Sam's answer.
"I just need to know one more thing." Once Gabriel told him to 'shoot', he continued. "Why did he ask you to be my friend? Why not Balthazar?"
Gabriel shrugged.
"I have no idea. Maybe he thought that I could have some fun, while Balthazar tried to befriend Charlie…" That question had lingered on his mind for a while, when he first got friends with Sam. His mind went back to all those times when he thought of it and Castiel would just come around to speak to him. "Every day he would come up to me and ask me if I had found anything out. At some point, I couldn't take it anymore. That time I asked if we could hang out in your place, was because I didn't want to go home and have him asking me what you had told me, ya know…"
Sam looked at him. That was the first and the last time he went to Gabriel's place. He would have gone more times, but he had to go back to his place and study.
"Then why did you ask if I wanted to go to your house?" Sam asked. It didn't make sense to him. If Gabriel wanted to avoid going there, why would he bring him along?
Gabriel blushed and looked to his feet.
"Because you looked sad when you said we couldn't go to your home." He admitted sheepishly. "I don't like to see you sad."
Sam smiled with a little embarrassment. He certainly was not expecting Gabriel to say that. He didn't expect that anyone would ever say that to him –apart from Dean of course.
"Thank you… I guess." Sam told him, not really knowing what the best answer would be.
"You're welcome. We're good, right?" Gabriel asked hesitantly.
Sam laughed. Gabriel was adorable.
"Yup." He answered simply. Suddenly, he remembered why he went to his brother's school. "I gotta find Charlie now… I need her help to know what to do to Dean's hands."
Gabriel sighed. The worry in the younger Winchester's eyes had come back.
"I'll look for her and I'll get the answer. You get to your school." Gabriel said patting Sam's back.
Sam huffed.
"I don't want to trouble you." He started.
Gabriel simply argued with him.
"Nonsense. This is what friends are for! You gotta go and have your classes. I'll tell you what I found out after school!" Sam ended up agreeing with him, reluctantly. "See ya later, Sammy!" Gabriel said, as he ruffled Sam's shaggy hair, a large smile gracing his features as he watched the little teen run off in the distance. For the first time in what must have been ages, Gabriel felt truly happy.
A/N: This chapter has now been Beta-ed. The ending changed a bit from the original, but it's basically the same. Also, if you want, check out my new one-shot 'Friday Night' please review that one if you read it! ^^