"I'm Not Suppose To Love You Anymore" – Bryan White

Chapter 7

Ej had spent a month now, drinking and doing his best to forget her, spending morning running and nights in bars trying to get the whiskey to dull the memory, but when he woke up he could only see her face and smell her perfume.

WE AGREED THAT IT WAS OVER,

NOW THE LINES HAVE BEEN DRAWN,

THE VOWS WE MAKE BEGAN TO FADE BUT NOW THEY'RE GONE.

"Sami please, just listen to me, I know I should have told you, but I was so scared. You were so angry at my family, so afraid and I just never wanted you to look at me like that. Come on, just give me a chance. I'm not like them! I'm the man you always thought I was, I just have some skeleton's in my closet!" He remembered telling her the day after the "non" wedding. He spent that entire day outside her apartment, just trying to get her to talk to him and tell him that it was going to be ok. For once, he needed her more then she ever needed him.

PUT YOUR PICTURES IN THE SHOEBOX,

MY GOLD RING IN THE DRAWER.

I'M NOT SUPPOSE TO LOVE YOU ANYMORE.

As Ej spent another day thinking about her at the office, the urge to see her face became too strong and he found himself reaching in the top drawer to pull out her picture that use to be on his desk at Mythic. The same picture she gave him as a present, the picture she chose for his desk. He couldn't stand to have it on the desk anymore; it was too much for him. But sometimes, when the office was quiet, and his father wasn't around, he would take it out and look at it, wishing things were different.

"Samantha, I still miss you so much. I just wish I knew how you were." Like any other day, Stephano would come to see his son and always catch him talking to that damn picture, always as if she was standing next to him.

"Elvis, did you take care of what I asked?" He asked, knowing his son was oblivious to his presence at the door.

"No, Roberto is. I'm sure everything is fine." He answered after a minute and then shoved the picture back in his desk, next to the wedding ring he never got to put on her finger.

NOW SHERRY SAYS SHE'S JEALOUS OF THE FREEDOM THAT I'VE FOUND.

IF SHE WAS ME SHE WOULD BE OUT ON THE TOWN, AND SHE SAYS SHE CAN'T IMAGINE

WHAT ON EARTH I'M WAITING FOR.

I'M NOT SUPPOSE TO LVOE YOU ANYMORE.

"I asked you to do it, you two are over. You are free to be with anyone you want and yet you spend all your time drunk or starring at that damn picture. Go out and find someone else! You are a Dimera, start acting like it."

"Look, you've never been in love father so you don't understand but it is going to take me longer then a month to forget the only thing that ever made me happy. Racing, running things for you, being in business, none of that ever meant anything to me. Not the way Samantha did. She was more to me then any of that and it doesn't matter what you think, I will always love her."

"Fine, just don't let her turn you into this, I can't stand to even look at you like this anymore. You have become useless!"

"I will explain this again, and this will be the last time. She was my world and you took that away. She was not an obsession like her mother was for you, she was the love of my life. I can't control my feelings when it comes to her like you would be able to, and I am glad for that. It means I am real and vulnerable and that reminds me that I am human!" Ej paused for a moment hoping the suspense would make the words sink into his father's brain for once. The pause was also for him, just bringing her up broke his heart all over again and made him wince in pain at the sound of her name.

"Father look, I know she walked away from me, she made me look like a fool in front of the entire town. But, if she called me and asked me to come back I would. I would run to my car, head to the airport and never look back. There would be no pausing and thinking about it, no packing. Just me on a plane, and calling her to tell her I would be there soon. That's what she means to me. You just need to except that." Before Ej could yell anymore, Tony was on the phone and he hoped there would be news of Samantha in the report, he would know how she was.

I SHOULDN'T CARE, WONDER WHERE, OR HOW YOU ARE

BUT I CAN'T HIDE THIS HURT INSIDE MY BORKEN HEART.

I'M FIGHTING BACK EMOTIONS I'VE NEVER FOUGHT BEFORE,

CAUSE I'M NOT SUPPOSE TO LOVE YOU ANYMORE.

"Tony, how is she, have you seen her? Is she seeing anybody?" Ej got a glimmer of hope as Tony paused, but the light went out when Tony became indignant and ignored the line of questioning.

"Do you have the reports I needed on the business there?"

"Tony, I need to know. Please tell me anything, tell me something! I need to know!" He pleaded and Stephano just sat in shock, knowing him withholding her messages was never going to do it. He needed to remove her once and for all. Stephano headed out of the office and planned to call Tony to get his own plan into action, one to remove the pathetic man that became his son and return the strong and vengeful man he knew was there!

NOW I'M WRITING YOU THIS LETTER AND ITS' KILLING ME TONIGHT,

THAT I AGREED WHEN YOU BELIEVED IT WASN'T RIGHT,

AND I COULDN'T SLEEP UP ON THE BED,

SO I'M DOWN HERE ON THE FLOOR.

After hanging up with Tony, and watching Stephano close the door he tried to go back to work but it was useless. After he spoke of Samantha, nothing was possible for hours. He pulled the picture out again and starred at her face.

"Is it really over darling? Is this really where it ends for us? A month and no word, no call or message left at Mythic. I guess maybe I should accept you don't love me as much as I thought, we really are over this time." He said and moved his thumb over the cheek of her face, remembering how many times he had done it in the past.

I SHOULDN'T CARE, WONDER WHERE, OR HOW YOU ARE

BUT I CAN'T HIDE THIS HURT INSIDE MY BROKEN HEART.

I'M FIGHTING BACK EMOTIONS I'VE NEVER FOUGHT BEFORE,

CAUSE I'M NOT SUPPOSE TO LOVE YOU ANYMORE.

"When will I be able to go a day without looking at your picture? Or saying your name just to have my heart break as I remember you're gone. When will I really be able to move on and see that I did this for you." He said to himself and put away the picture for the day. Headed to the closet and decided to go for a run, maybe a run along the beach would clear his head, bring back the man his father wanted to see. Was it even possible anymore? Was the Dimera he was still there? Or was he just some lovesick fool? He didn't even know anymore.

I'M FIGHTING BACK EMOTIONS I'VE NEVER FOUGHT BEFORE,

CAUSE I'M NOT SUPPOSE TO LOVE YOU ANYMORE.