Chapter 2
WHERE THE BACON AM I!
Disclaimer: I don't own Dbz or anything of it I also don't own any of the songs in this either I do own Dylan Dylan Jr. and my friend owns Crystal
This kind of writing means someone is singing
If you see this kind of " someone is being sarcastic
Dylanleon35: sup guys and welcome to another of my chapters look I know it's been like forever sense I've updated but you can't blame me its school homework and stuff but that doesn't matter now you know what matters you eating a healthy breakfast of bacon and toast and pancakes mmm pancakes anyway here we go (says it in a Mario sort of way) have a nice time reading (starts to get handcuffed) what the!? What are you lawyers doing to me!
Lawyers: were arresting you for claiming that you own DBZ
Dylanleon35: what are you talking about?
Lawyer: there is no disclaimer here so now were pressing charges against you
Dylanleon35: you can't do this to me I put the disclaimer I'm innocent
Lawyers: tell it to the judge
They begin to drag dylanleon45 away
Dylanleon35: noooo (looks straight at you) guys you've got to help me tell them I did put the disclaimer
Lawyers: I think we need to send her to an asylum she's talking to people that aren't even real
Dylanleon35: I'm not look (lawyers turn to look at you)
Lawyers: AH! (Every lawyer puts their hands in front of their face in fear) were so sorry god of all lawyers! Pl-please don't hurt us
Dylanleon35: it's not the god of all lawyers it's my friends or reviewers nah forget reviewers you people are to cool to be that for now on you all will be known as the Leon warriors
Lawyers take a peak and see you
Lawyer: who is that?
Dylanleon35: it's the Leon warriors tremble before them all
(Cricket noises)
Lawyer: that's a pretty small bunch of warriors
Dylanleon35: don't judge them I may not have many people but they are as fierce as 20 tigers combined
Lawyers: oh really
Dylanleon35 nods
Lawyer: will see about that lawyers take your positions they are all under arrest
Dylanleon35: what! You can't do that
Lawyers: yes we can its completely legal they are taking part in helping a criminal
Dylanleon35: criminal? oh no Leon warriors run were too small of an army to defeat the lawyers
Lawyers: oh no you can't get away from us, all lawyers take out your handcuffs (lawyers begin to chase you)
Dylanleon35: no I won't let you guys if your reading this now put me as a favorite or review or anything to join the army to help defeat the lawyers become a Leon warrior today but for now let's start the story before you get arrested (JAZZHANDS)
Piccolos p.o.v
Piccolo was meditating near a small lake near a waterfall it was silent calm peaceful not a worry in the world for now thought piccolo he was meditating calmly near a wasteland with green grass and clear blue sky all he could hear was the sound of the waterfall it was nice and quiet these were times when piccolo just wanted to stay around and think about how he would come up with new techniques that were so powerful he would be able to defeat his enemy Goku just thinking about that idiot made piccolo angry to the bone he'd been training ever sense the worlds martial arts tournament to get stronger he would get his revenge and rule this planet beneath his feet soon peace would just be a myth when he was in control but for now he'd have to complete step one kill son Goku oh yes once he was gone no one would stop him from world domination piccolos thoughts were interrupted when he heard some sort of poof sound he did what he usually did ignore it why should he care next to son goku nothing on this planet could lay a scratch on him he continued to meditate so far nothing disturbed him for like ten seconds till he began to hear some strange sounds he continued to ignore them but it wasn't that easy he scrunched his eyes trying to keep his mind off the strange sound thinking about other things besides the sound but it just kept going it was starting to annoy him but he refused to pay any attention for whatever was trying to get him pissed if that was their goal they were doing a pretty good job at it if they valued their own life they would be smart enough to shut up when piccolo was at the max of his patients and was about to shoot a wave of energy towards the aggravating noise he heard a huge splash he immediately opened his eyes he was dripping a bit he looked around to see where it came from he looked down and he immediately noticed some sort of figure rising from below the surface of the lake it's probably a fish but what arose from the water was not a fish but hands then a head and then flapping around was a human girl he saw her struggling to keep above the water
?: heeell(gurgle gurgle) caa(gurgle gurgle) swi(gurgle gurgle)
Piccolo didn't know for sure but thought she was trying to say help can't swim so you were that annoying sound thought piccolo piccolo wasn't going to help some useless human he was anything but helpful not knowing how to swim how weak if it was smart enough to know that why did it even jump in it was this humans fault for getting into this situation it might as well save itself can't swim might as well learn now he was feeling a bit generous today which was really a rare thing to happen so instead of flying away and going to a different place to train he gave the human instructions in how to swim
Piccolo: move your arms up in a circular motion don't splash around relax your body kick your legs
The girl of course didn't listen to instructions and continued to gurgle through the water begging to be helped not gonna happen thought piccolo he repeated the instructions again but either the girl was deaf or was stupid piccolo went with the second choice after a minute or two the girl was still struggling to get breaths of air ugh humans can be so annoying thought piccolo they can't do anything on their own what a lousy species
Piccolo: if you can't follow these simple instructions just float its simple just stop moving around
The girl instantly stopped moving good at least this human isn't deaf but to piccolos surprise instead of floating she started to sink her head and arms were no longer flapping around and he could see her figure sinking deeper into the depths of this lake it's amazing how weak you are you follow instructions and yet you still manage to get yourself killed piccolo made no indication of moving down and getting her why would he it wasn't his fault and this wouldn't affect his life the slightest bit if he saved her or not he doesn't know her doesn't really care if she dies or not and was starting to regret in what he was about to do next good kami that son Goku was starting affect his personality
Piccolo: oh for the-agh ( he led out a frustrated sigh and plunged in for the girl)
When he came back to the surface he dropped the girl back on to the ground leaving her sprawled out in a uncomfortable position and let out a wave of high energy to dry himself and his training clothes off he starred at the girl thinking this human is a complete idiot he kept starring it was silent for at least a few seconds and she still wasn't moving he heard no sound escape her and she still hadn't opened her eyes was she dead seemed like it well to bad for her she did this to herself for jumping into the lake knowing she couldn't swim not my problem pfft what a waste of time piccolo turned around and was starting to walk away not looking back thinking I can't believe I jumped in gah should've let her drown would've saved me some time after a couple of steps he started to force himself not to turn around thinking this is a waste of time she's dead you can't do anything about it not your problem he continued to walk away then he started to frown a bit and he was starting to get a sweat drop he clenched his fists in frustration and grit his teeth he stopped walking fists still clenched he staid stiff then he turned around and flew back quickly to where he left her thinking why won't this idiot wake up
Piccolo: hey
Silence
Piccolo: grr hey get up!
Still not even a twitch
Piccolo: if you don't move in the next few seconds you won't have to play dead in what I'll do to you next
Threatened piccolo still nothing he growled and threw a swift punch near the side of her face skimming it a bit and made a print into the ground normally any human would've at least flinched or run away in fear but piccolo got none of it he removed his fist from the ground starring at the girl thinking there has to be a way for this human to at least get her to open those eyes ragh this is hopeless I should just turn around and continue my training but he didn't turn around he still staid where he was looking down upon the stranger then he started thinking agh why am I even doing this I shouldn't be helping a stupid girl at all I'm an evil demon I need to get back to perfecting my techniques and continue my plans for world domination he looked at the girl one last time he started to fill up with frustration and maybe a little bit of guilt but he immediately pushed aside these thoughts he kicked the girl hard in the stomach blaming her for these feelings and flew off without a second thought into a different direction going to find a different spot to train than here but what Piccolo didn't know was that with that last kick he was able to force the water out of her saving her life
Dylan's P.O.V.
Dylan: (gack cough cough inhale) *pant pant* *pant* okay
Said Dylan in an angry voice
Dylan: who has the nerve to throw me in a pool when I can't swim you could've fudging killed me
Dylan turned around eyes full of anger thinking to see someone laughing there tush off but to her surprise she saw no one but a lake with a waterfall
Dylan: what the?
Dylan turned around looking all over for someone any one
Dylan: what am I doing outside? I don't remember sleeping outside this time where's my house?
She looked around her surroundings but saw no house no apartments not even a single human bring all she saw was an empty wasteland and some pretty big rocks this was a very confusing thing to process then she began to shiver it was so cold after all that lake wasn't a hot tub she looked around for some sort of explanation till she saw a boulder right next to her she starred at for awhile then she began to yell at it blaming all her problems on a boulder
Dylan: you are a turkey! don't just stand there you Doritto ! This is all your fault! why didn't you save me! get a towel or a blow dryer I'm freezing here (shivers)! stop doing nothing like a rock you-you-you rock (sigh) rock I'm yelling at a rock yep totally normal Dylan who doesn't blame rocks for all their problems in life (face palm)
Dylan sits down in complete exhaustion and confusion why am I here? What happened? Where's home? A bunch of questions buzzed all around her head but no answers she began to think about the rock and started to feel guilty for yelling at it after all it was just a rock it did nothing wrong I should apologize thought Dylan
Dylan: hey rock I'm sorry um can I call you rocky
Rocky:….
Dylan: I'll take that as a yes I can understand why you're angry since I yelled at you for nothing and called you a turkey
Rocky:…..
Dylan: I can understand why you're not talking to me but I really am truly sorry I didn't mean to yell at you I know it's too much to ask for but could you forgive me
Rocky:…..
Dylan: rocky you don't have to forgive me but please speak to me
Rocky:…..
Dylan: at least say something anything
Rocky:…
Dylan:….
Rocky:….
Dylan: grrr QUIT IGNORING ME!
Rocky:…..
Dylan was really angry at rocky now at least he could understand a little bit on how she was acting then she realized that she lost her temper again
Dylan: ( I did it again didn't I uh what's the matter with me)oh no oh I'm so so super sorry rocky with all my heart pleeeaase forgive me for yelling at you again I'm usually never this angry you see I almost died from water and I had a bad dream and I have no idea where I am or how I got here and I don't even know where home is it's all just so confusing that I can't think things clearly
Rocky:…
Dylan:….
Rocky:….
Dylan: oh I see the silent treatment huh fine then don't talk to me hmp
Rocky:…
Dylan:…
Rocky:…
Realization dawned on Dylan that she was doing it again she really needed some sleep
Dylan: (sigh) and I'm talking to rocky again geez I really need some sleep where's a bed when you need one
And surprisingly when Dylan took a slight glance to her left she noticed her bed she happily smiled thinking wow sweet she ran over and there it was her pillow pet bee and cat with her cheetah blanket she didn't stop to think how it got here just happy it was she jumped and landed on top of it bouncing a bit she saw that it was like right at the edge of the lake then laying down it began to dawn on her that she was still wearing her Eeyore pajamas that said happy to be blue still good comfy pj's she still felt real tired and she began to close her eyes ready to go to sleep she began to relax closing her eyes thinking I'm probably just going crazy from my own tiredness after a good night's sleep I'll wake up from this and everything will be okay I'll be in my room at home still in the apartment with my family and I'll forget all about this and probably will go hang out with my best friend Crystal she instinctively closed her hand sense she always slept with Dylan Jr. in her hand always with her always next to her always nothing in her hand
Dylan: (sigh) goodnight world
…..(silence)…..
Wait a second nothing in my hand Dylan instantly stood up straight eyes as huge as saucers thinking where the spaghetti is Dylan Jr. it was defiantly not in her hand she already checked twice she jumped off the bed looked under it all over around the grass beneath the mattress she ran over to rocky
Dylan: rocky rocky rocky rocky this is really really bad I lost Dylan Jr. please tell me if you seen him I know your mad at me and all but this is a matter of life and death for all I know Dylan Jr. may be dying right now
Rocky: sorry Dylan but I haven't seen him
Dylan: oh okay thanks anyway Rocky
she then went back on her bed looking all over the bed not even thinking did that rock just speak to me instead thinking please please please don't tell me I dropped it in the lake it wasn't in her bed that means oh no that means
Dylan: (gulp)
she crawled over to the side of her bed near the lake looking at her own reflection her hair was still messy and still in a pony tail she always slept with it too lazy to take it off she kept thinking oh Dylan Jr. please please let your super strong protector case let you be water proof I'm coming to save you thought Dylan
now as you all know Dylan knows she can't swim but she's not thinking this through all that's on her mind right now Is one thing to save Dylan Jr. she jumped off the bed and began to take her pj's off and when she did she noticed something thump to the ground and to her relief it was Dylan Jr. must've been under her Pj shirt while she slept what a relief Dylan grabbed Dylan Jr. and hugged him closely to her heart saying thank bacon thank bacon thank bacon thank bacon you are okay I'm so glad I could kiss you and I will (kisses Dylan Jr.)
Dylan: brrrr its still cold (puts Pg's back on) better (looks back at Dylan Jr.) I'm so glad you're alright Dylan Jr. I promise you (for like the hundredth time) that if I ever lose you I will always look for you until I find you every time I don't have you in my sight I was so worried about you I thought I would never be able to see your so strong protector case thingy your so shiny no cracked case screen your beautiful buttons and best of all your so anime looking features just like this grass sky rocky and the lake (snuggles Dylan Jr. caringly against her cheek) then realization slapped Dylan straight across the face
Dylan: ( wait a second? Anime looking?)
Dylan looked even closer to the sky the grass rocks even picked up the water and grass to get a better look at them then her hands
Dylan: w-w-whats going on here? W-why am I not me looking and why does everything else look the same why does everything look so anime ( have I finally lost it for real this time well soul did say this was gonna happen sooner or later but I didn't think me losing my sanity would mean everything was going to appear different like an anime show but that can't happen can it what's even more confusing is that I feel like this place seems familiar somehow but I can't remember where)
Dylan wasn't really talking to anyone in particular but started to talk to herself hoping she at least had some of the answers to the questions she was asking herself of course she didn't have any but one of the questions that just kept popping in her head was one she really wanted answered the most was
Dylan: WHERE THE BACON AM I!
Confusion and frustration were all fumbled up inside of her what was she supposed to do now well for now only one thing left to do she sat down on her bed and decided to and this is a really rare thing to happen folks she started to think think of something to do anything at all
(20 very long minutes later)
Dylan: I've got it!
Dylan jumped up in excitement it was so easy all she had to do was find the way home and her parents would take her to the hospital and they would probably do something to get her sanity back easy as that and so Dylan was getting ready to leave she got a drink of water from the lake grabbed her pillow pets and cheetah blanket after all she couldn't leave her pillow pets and she still needed to get dry from that trip in the lake she made a note in her note app in Dylan Jr. that read
Got no clue what day it is I think it's Tuesday I've lost my sanity and everything looks all anime like I need to find home and visit a hospital for this problem that my brain is going through made a friend named rocky he's a boulder almost died from water and had a bad dream bye
Dylan wanted to remember rocky since he was the very first thing she'd talked to since she lost her sanity so if she ever came upon him again she carved on him rocky and Dylan friends forever made a smiley face on it
Dylan: sorry if I hurt you there rocky I just want to remember you and for you to remember me I've lost my sanity so I'm gonna find out how to get it back If I see you again I'll know it's you because of this goodbye
Rocky:…..
Dylan: don't worry rocky I'll be fine
Rocky:….
Dylan: I know it's hard to accept dude but I've got to
Rocky:….
Dylan:…..
Rocky:…
Dylan: don't (sniff) be sad rocky I'll miss you to (sniff) well stay rock hard strong together ( a single tear slips down her cheek but she gives a sad smile)
Rocky:…..
Dylan: oh come here man rock hug (Dylan comes over and gives rocky a hug)
Rocky: bye Dylan you're a great friend and I forgive you
Dylan: thanks man that means a lot good bye (kisses the boulder)
Dylan puts the blanket around her body has her pillow pets at her sides and has Dylan Jr. in her hand and began to walk forward she had no idea where she was going but decided to go forward and so she walked and walked and walked listening to music on her headphones strange thing was Dylan wasn't even low on battery it was like he was charging by himself how awesome Dylan wasn't complaining she didn't even stop to think about it she just kept listening to a song and sang along with it
Dylan: wake up in the morning feeling like Nick Jonas I got my pixie sticks and hairbrush this happens every day I'm really lazy all I do is sit and eat this cheese stick my pants are on the ground I think I'm going crazy talkin aunt Jemima on my toes toes peter griffin on my clothes clothes chopsticks all up in my nose nose
Ouch is that blood
Taking my my space pic in the bathroom eating all of these pinchies turning into a hooboooo lets punch captain crunch then will eat his face for lunch fly a kite drink some sprite till we go to sleep tonight tik tok found a rock gonna knock this posers socks off woah they're purple woah wa-ooh lets punch captain crunch then will eat his face for lunch fly a kite drink some sprite here we go to sleep tonight tik tok found a rock gonna knock this posers socks off woah they're purple woah wa-ooh
(and so Dylan continued onward for his goal to find civilization)
I thought I experienced hot before when it was like 102 degrees in P.E. but this was different I don't think I sweated this much before at all except when I had to do extra credit for P.E. but that was different man what I wouldn't give for a water bottle right now maybe even a nice bowl of ice cream I sat down and rest for awhile sweating my butt off I have no idea how long I've been walking 10 miles 15 who knows I'd been listening to music for like ever but my I pod Dylan Jr. never died it was as if he was charging by himself but I didn't really notice nor did I care I mean that's actually pretty cool who would complain about that anyway I never saw another human being not even a single animal it didn't really bother her much because she still had the hope of finding someone and maybe they might have some ice cream she just had to stick to the bright side of things sure I've lost my sanity but that would totally be fixed by doctors I mean I'll be able to see things back to normal again and Have a nice strip of Bacon and these are the thoughts that made me continue to keep walking and walking and walking
~~~~~who knows how long later~~~~~
Dylan's stomach: (growl)
Dylan: I know I'm hungry to
Dylan's stomach: (growl)
Dylan: I can't eat something I've got no food
Dylan's stomach: (growl)
Dylan: I'm not eating bugs
Dylan's stomach: (growl)
Dylan: if you don't be quite I won't even give you the pleasure of having water
Dylan's stomach:…
Dylan: that's what I thought
(silence)
Dylan: I AM SOOO huuunnggggrrryyy and tired and IT'S SO FUDGING HOT!
Dylan's stomach:….
Dylan: still mad huh look dude I'm just suffering from no food okay look I'll give you water it's just with all your growling I couldn't think straight I'm starving too but me yelling at you isn't helping I know I just realized that look if I have and I mean have to I will resort to eating bugs but not yet so if you want an ant for dinner can you at least just help me out here I have no idea where food is I'm so sorry please I need help
Dylan's stomach:….(growl)…..
Dylan: right in front of me huh?
I looked straight ahead and to our joy I saw a huge pile of ice cream of different colors of different flavors different toppings why I didn't notice this before I have no idea but I didn't stop to think it was as huge as a mountain I didn't stop to think of why it was there or how it got there right now I just ran ran as fast as my legs would carry me I was hot tired and hungry but right now my body was just screaming for food when I continued to run what else added to my joy was that it kept getting bigger and bigger but when I was about to get even close enough it just seemed to go further and further it was as if it was running away from me my sides hurt and my legs felt heavier than usual my heart was beating so fast but I just kept running not taking my eyes off of it I was still holding my things not stopping to think of lifting the load maybe it would have made me go faster but for now I didn't think of going faster I just wanted that ice cream when I was about to collapse a miracle happened it stopped moving I took this chance to continue I was so close I dropped my load and jumped for it
Dylan: COME TO PAPA SON!
It was mine all mine oh how sweet how creamy how soft how cold how delicious it would be on my taste buds I couldn't wait thank you god thank you it was as if everything was going in slow motion getting ready to land on the soft cold treat I closed my eyes in happiness from joy my mouth open desiring for the treat to go down to comfort my dry throat and enter my stomach but then something un expected happened instead of being welcomed to the cold soft feeling of ice cream on my skin I was welcomed with a hard painful crash in to a not so delicious tree the leaves fell down from impact I was stuck there for a few seconds but then slid down landing on my back
Dylan: ow my everything (pant pant) wait where's ice cream!?
I looked around for something anything but not even a scoop of rocky road or vanilla was left it was gone simply vanished like it was never even there to begin with was It simply an illusion a dream that my mind created to taunt me to mock me for my stupidity in believing that I would simply just get my desires given to me just like that and make me waste my time and effort to simply gain nothing in return apparently yeah
Dylan: stupid brain this is all your fault why I see everything like an anime and why I saw ice cream and why my body hurts and why were starving
Dylan's stomach: (growl)
Dylan: I know we need to find food soon or will die from starvation
Dylan's stomach: (groooowl)
Dylan: yeah and possibly from dehydration by the way where's my stuff
I looked around and not too far away I saw my stuff I walked over or more like stumbled over and collapsed on my pillow pets and blanket I felt so tired I just wanted to sit here all day long and hope maybe this is all a dream maybe I'll wake up in my room forgetting this ever happened but deep down I knew this was real I was alone starving without any civilization and I also knew that if I continued to lay here in this soft blanket I would never get back up and I would die from the thirst or hunger so as I usually did in the mornings when It was time to get up and go to school I forced myself up protesting to shut my eyes and stumble around like a zombie I bumped into a couple of trees and tripped over some roots or rocks and landed in some dirt with dead leaves standing back up to just fall back down once more this continued for awhile I probably didn't get very far it was hard enough to just walk 3 feet of course I finally listened to my bodies protest in walking and I simply just collapsed laying my back on a tree I couldn't get back up even if I wanted to I was simply to weak and didn't have the will or energy to get back up I looked at my surroundings taking one last glimpse of the world around me I finally noticed the change in scenery I wasn't in a wasteland anymore there were tree's and the shade I was getting from one felt good my body stopped sweating a long time ago I didn't know for sure but I probably had a bad sunburn on my back it was actually quite nice very peaceful a butterfly passed by me I smiled tiredly at it this seemed like a good place to die I took a deep breath and closed my eyes thinking I would never open them again waiting for the end to come what else could I do in the movies it seemed much easier but now I chuckle at my old thought thinking this would be so easy apparently I was dead wrong it was harder than I thought I thought I'm sorry family friends everyone I should've tried harder I should've been kinder to everyone should've done more with my life than just watch T.V. eat junk food and try to get straight A's in school well at least I won't be a pest to anyone anymore maybe this is for the best I wonder what it's like to be dead well I'll find out pretty soon won't eye I laugh softly at the thought I wasn't ready to die not yet I was far from ready I didn't even want to die but there was simply nothing I could do but wait for death to come upon me good bye world and then something happened I felt a soft bump on my head then slide down to my hands I opened my tired eyes I saw a round fuzzy little thing I think it was a fruit
Dylan: heh looks like a peach
I weakly mumbled then I went back to waiting for my death ah sure would be nice to eat something right now I never thought I would die from starvation
Dylan's stomach: (grooooowwwwls)
Man I never wanted to die like this never even dreamed it would happen sure would be cool to have some food right now
~~~~~~~~~silence~~~~~~~
Then REALIZATION happened I opened my eyes immediately
Dylan: oh MY HERSHEY BAR!
My hands wrapped tightly around the fruit and I took a nice big juicy bite from it I thought it would be sweet but no it was sour and I'm not a big fan of sour stuff but right now was not the time to be picky the juice from the fruit quenched my thirst and softened my hunger I ate the thing all the way to the seed but that wasn't enough I wanted more I looked up and I mentally slapped myself across the face for not noticing before I was sitting under the very thing that would give me life and I was almost about to die under it
Dylan: thank you gravity
I stood up legs still sore but now wasn't the time to rest the only thing left to do was climb and of the long list of things I can't do one of them is climbing but that didn't mean I wasn't going to try so I grabbed the tree's trunk and tried to reach for the closest branch of course when I was placing one hand around the branch I was desperately reaching for I lost my footing on the trees trunk my weight made me slip my grip from the tree and fall not too far down but high enough to leave a spot of pain on my tush this process continued for a while sometimes a fruit would fall and I'd eat it but that didn't happen all the time I kept trying and trying coming out with the same result I started thinking seriously how are people able to do this in real life after many bruises and cuts I came to the conclusion that I was to small so I looked around for anything to use as a stool after some searching I found a pretty big rock who I named Tim Rocky's long time cousin don't ask me how I know I've already lost enough sanity to even talk to my belly so I rolled him over to the tree of course I couldn't lift Tim I'm not as athletic as my good friend Crystal I stood on top of Tim it made things a little easy but it was still very difficult to climb makes me wish I should've done more pull ups in P.E. but after some scratches I was able to sit on the very first branch but sadly it was a very tall tree so I needed to do the rest by myself and I'm not that good at doing things on my own but luckily the second branch wasn't as high as the first I had one hand firmly on the branch I was sitting on and the other carefully reaching up for the second when I had it firmly around the branch I let go of the other branch and placed the second hand around the second branch until I was standing I used the trees trunk to place my feet on them to climb and place them carefully around the branch I was holding onto until I was sitting thinking don't look down just get the food just get the food don't look down OH by the way did I tell you I'm really really afraid of HEIGHTS well I am my heart continued to pound against my chest I breathed in out trying to not freak out because if I made one small mistake It may be the last time I ever climb a tree again any way this continued I won't say it was easy cause it seriously wasn't I respect all the people that are able to do this without a second thought of falling down you guys are awesome I didn't even bother to keep count of how many branches it took me to get to the fruit My GOAL WAS TO NOT FALL DOWN and have some dinner anyway I eventually reached the fruit and began to dig into the sour feast after awhile though I got used to the taste and it really wasn't all that bad if you ask me I ate and ate sometimes the fruit would slip between my fingers and I drop it of course I'd try to catch it but I didn't really try that hard to get it I wasn't that stupid I mean I was like probably high enough to fall to my death if I made one slip up and I wasn't going to let that happen I didn't really look down I just simply looked around there's a difference by being scared of heights and looking at a place from really high up it was a really good view I saw some birds a few butterflies a couple of deer here and there it was really how should I put it uh beautiful no not at all it was really boring don't get me wrong the place didn't look ugly but I wasn't looking around to observe nature I was looking to find some civilization maybe even a small house or a rustle of at least some human life there wasn't anything going on it really annoyed me I mean at least let me see something entertaining or let something happen I mean let my mind get some adrenaline I want the feeling of excitement flowing through my body like when I watch DBZ I miss that feeling
(CRACK)
Dylan: huh?
(CRACK)
Dylan: what's that noise?
(CRACK)
It sounded like something was breaking no more like something was being twisted like how you break a pencil only it lasted longer and slower and louder I looked down and my wish had come true something was about to happen that would let me not be bored anymore what I saw was something that was bound to happen from the start this is why parents always tell us to not climb trees you would come down eventually you can't stay in a tree forever but this was not how I imagined it would be for me to come back down I saw the branch breaking and so the last final words Dylan had before he fell to his death were
Dylan: ah crap baskets
(SNAP)
I fell it happened too fast that I didn't even have the chance to scream in fear I was falling on top of trees trying to grab them but either I bounced off or lost my grip on them I grunted and let out sounds of pain I looked up at the sky one final time it was still blue I could feel the leaves rushing past my body looking at the tree at a falling angle and then everything went black
When I opened my eyes my vision was blurry and dark and my head was throbbing like crazy but after some blinking and rubbing I finally was able to see clearly but my head was still throbbing like crazy I wonder if I got a concussion it was dark I must've been out for awhile to be this late but for how long was it still the same day or had it been even longer I looked around and was able to notice the very heavy branch that was on top of my leg luckily it was only my right leg then the pain finally registered it shot up from my leg like electricity making me let out a yelp then I noticed that my hands were wet and I realized it was blood
Dylan: well that's not good
I didn't know but I shifted under the tree branch a bit moving my leg in the process
Dylan: AH! That is really really not good
I tried moving the branch but the pain was a real problem also it was super heavy and I have no upper body strength I was going to try again but then finally noticed the yellow eyes staring at me I froze in place trying to not move but It's hard for a person like me to stay still then I saw it come closer
Dylan: s-stay b-back
They came closer
Dylan: I'm warning you *gulp*
They came closer
Dylan: I'm warning you
Then they were right on top of the branch
Dylan: I taste terrible (I'm so dead)
I closed my eyes waiting for the attack then I felt something squishy on my face I opened my eyes and I laughed in relief it was a little frog
Dylan: he-he-he you really scared me there uh Ricky I'll call you Ricky like the name
Ricky: ribbit
Dylan: I'll take that as a yes so what you doing here all on your own
Ricky: ribbit
Dylan: I see just taking a stroll I mean hop around the forest
Ricky: croak
Dylan: that's cool hey you don't think you could help me out here could you
Ricky:….
Dylan: yeah didn't think so well it's cool to have some company that won't eat me
Ricky: (sticks tongue out to eat a fly) ribbit
Dylan: ribbit
Ricky: ribbit
Dylan: croak
Ricky: croak
Dylan: ribbit croak ribbit
Ricky: ribbit croak ribbit
Dylan: croak ribbit ribbit croak ribbit
Ricky:…..
Dylan: he-he I guess I win
Ricky:…(hops of my face)
Dylan: well I gotta get out of here before I become a late night snack for some animals like bears or
AAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!
Dylan: wolves (sigh) I jinx everything don't I Ricky
Ricky:….
Dylan: of course I do now I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!
I tried to move the big branch on my injured leg but the pain was so well painful that I grit my teeth down having a pained expression I was weak but I was able to move the branch a bit but not a lot I had to stop I just had to my brain just kept shouting stop it stop it stop it and my leg was chanting along with it I began panting in pain and fear I didn't know for sure but I had a feeling those wolves were coming for me I kept telling myself it's just leg pain it'll all be over soon once this tree is off you limp away and hide therefore you won't die and you won't be stuck under a tree for the rest of the night so which do you prefer body face pain but survive or not face pain and die a painful death later I tried pushing trying to ignore the pain but it didn't even go down if anything it went higher
Dylan: well then I guess you went with choice number two didn't you leg not what I would've gone with but I can't take this anymore either I mean what are the chances of a wolf finding me in these woods
AAAAAOOOHHHH! (Apparently pretty high)
Dylan: I'd rather face this pain than become a wolfs late night snack
I tried pushing the tree instead of holding my pain down holding back my screams and yelps of pain I let it all out I didn't hold back the screams when I felt pain I screamed in agony I mean not like I was bothering anyone except Ricky and I'm really sorry to do so but instead of holding it down I let it all out and it really did help the pain was still unbearable but not enough to make me pass out unbearable close enough though I made a mental note to myself to never climb tree's unless I absolutely had to my mind was clouded of all thought just pain and some of this
Dylan: MY FUDGING TACO SPAGHETII BEEF JERKEY OH MY BACON IT FLIPPIN PANCAKES HURTS SO BAD DEAR GARBANZO CHEESE HELP FOR THE LOVE OF CHICKEN RRRAARGGGHH!
( dylanleon45: I dare you to say this out loud )
The branch was getting deeper into my skin going to leave scars on it for years my leg would never be the same again there were times when I thought I would pass out but didn't I don't remember ever experiencing something this painful before but my sister getting rid of that huge knot in my hair by hand that comes a bit close no seriously that thing was huge I kept yelling cut it off CUT THAT DORITO THING OFF anyway I had successfully pushed the thing all the way down to my ankle which I thought was a pretty great accomplishment but not great enough to save my life why you ask well a person and I mean a sane and also almost sane person has his/hers limits in pain tolerance if you have the power to stop pain from inflicting upon you depending the circumstances you will stop that from happening to you so I had and I mean had to stop that pain inflicting torture I collapsed onto the floor not wanting to continue to do that ever again I continued to breath heavily waiting for the dark spots to disappear and when they did I still felt the pain from my leg not as bad as before but still hurts When I looked at my hands I noticed some blood leaking from them scratches I got from the tree bark but I looked down at my Pj pants and I really really tried to not freak out but looking down at my bloody skin ripped deep gory leg I shouted
Dylan: Holy MACARONI IF I DON'T DIE FROM THIS GOD IS ON MY SIDE TODAY!
And then I heard the growl and this time it wasn't George A.K.A. my belly I looked to my left and saw those beady yellow eyes only thing was they were way different from Ricky's they were more intense not having curiosity in them but with more hunger and wild look into them it was in the shadow but I didn't need it to come out to know what it was if anything I wanted them eyes to stay just right there
Dylan: so Mr. Wolf hungry are we well then (gulp) have you tried eating uh fruit
In a shear attempt to stall my death I picked up one of the fallen fruit and showed it to Mr. Wolf
Dylan: looks good doesn't it better than me right he-he-he (gulp)
Mr. Wolf: gggrrrrr
Dylan: you sure you don't want it I mean (gulp) you get used to the taste but it's not that bad
Mr. Wolf: gggrrarrr
I don't speak wolf language but I think that he said yeah I'm gonna enjoy eating you boys this one is still fresh and not gonna be a pain to catch come one out
And what was to be expected this little wolf was in a pack just great I'll be ripped to shreds by a pack
Dylan: well you've got friends yeah that's (sigh) I'm dead
What was strutting its way through the pack and I'm just guessing here was the leader he seemed more calm but yet still more frightful than the others it was a lighter shade of gray and taller than the others clearly stating I'm the big boss I decide when you kill her
Dylan:…..sup uh Mike I guess will be your name
Mike: grrra ( yeah kill her )
And so all the wolves except Mike rushed out eager to eat my flesh I starred in fear shock and well I guess pain because that's what happened next I felt dozens of teeth sink into my body mostly my leg I guess sense it smelled like blood and meat I guess but that was so painful I would've passed seconds later as soon as it happened but one of the dogs thought it was smart to bite no eat my hand or try to at least but it was the hand that held the fruit and while he was chowing down on my hand he ate the fruit to and I discovered wolves do not like sour things which made all the wolves stop eating to stare at the other he had eyes that were watering hacking a bit even began to lick the ground to get rid of the taste then it ran off probably to go find a lake to calm it's taste buds down the wolves starred at me in confusion and caution but I didn't care enough to notice remember what I said before of having the power to stop pain from inflicting upon you depending the circumstances if you were at least the slightest bit sane well I still had some sanity left and I have the power just like that guy He-Man to stop that pain from happening and I was gonna use it I grabbed a fruit and said
Dylan: wanna end up like that guy that just ran off I suggest you leave me alone before you get sour defied ( I tossed the fruit up in down in my hand like it was a baseball getting ready to make a strike)
They backed away in fear but Mike had to be the leader and give his pals a pep talk to kill me it went like this
Mike: AAAAOOOHH!
Which must've been an hour long self esteem speech in their language that motivated them pretty well and they got their confidence back and ferocious features again creeping closer to me one jumped mouth wide open getting ready to attack me
Dylan: fine you chose this path take this ( I threw the fruit)
I aimed it perfectly it went straight towards its mouth right towards its target like the store Target yeah I'm that good and he bit it down getting the same reaction the other wolf did and the other wolves were losing their confidence and ran away even the leader leaving me alone not dead yet and still alive to find my family is what would've happened if I was good at throwing what really happened was that I missed completely and it bumped on its head thudding onto the ground pissing it off and it Immediately pounced on me I grabbed another fruit covering my face in fear I got some bites here in there but the wolf was finally distracted enough to forget about avoiding in eating the fruit and took a bite from it hacking and running off to find a river too however it was going to take a lot more than this to scare them away I could tell they were all going to attack at once so I grabbed anything that was in reach rocks dirt leaves fruit sometimes I'd make it in their mouths but I'd mostly just miss and hit other places sometimes I'd miss completely but I'd still get bit like they'd come all over at different times there was no pattern it just happened I wasn't really even aiming I just threw all panic like it was a scene that was very painful quick and bloody eventually after many many bites I made some run away to a river to wash their mouths down or one or two panic and run away with the others eventually they all ran away all except one the leader Mike
Dylan:….
I didn't say anything I knew whatever I would say wouldn't have any effect on Mike and I'd probably start crying from the pain not that I haven't already I had one more fruit in my hand we starred at each other for awhile but I lost the starring contest and when I blinked Mike came rushing after me getting ready to sink his teeth deep down into my skin but everything was going in Matrix slow motion I through the fruit silently praying that these were one of times I wouldn't miss like in one of those dodge ball games where you're the last one left people know you suck and your facing the best athletic guy in class you've got one shot you throw the ball and you hit him directly winning the game it flew through the air heading straight for the jaw into Mikes disgusting saliva filled teeth I did it Mike was going to eat the fruit and I would win the game but I celebrated to soon Mike the athletic guy didn't get hit by the ball I didn't miss and I didn't have a bad angle or throw he simply dodged it and he was aiming straight for my head in mid air everything was still in slow motion and I did one of the top ten things people would do when faced with death not cry not scream not cuss surprisingly I ducked covering my head with my bloody hands shaking in fear and Mike missed and instead of sinking his teeth into my skull he bit down onto the branch with so much force it was enough to move the branch of my ankle and let me be free it hurt like crazy but I was free I expected Mike to stop biting the branch but turns out he bit off more than he could chew and was stuck on that branch for now so I backed away well more like dragged myself away from him before anything went downhill it was a very long painful journey but I made it back to my stuff I didn't want to think about my leg right now I just simply wrapped myself tightly against my cheetah blanket snuggled into my pillow pets wrote down a note in Dylan Jr.
I have no idea what day it is hoping it's Wednesday traveled through some wasteland found a forest almost died from starvation and dehydration met Rocky's cousin his name is Tim climbed a tree ate sour fruit fell down the tree don't remember what happened after that woke up night time leg stuck under branch met A frog named him Ricky almost died from a pack of hungry wolves sour defied them like a boss wolf leader whose name is Mike tried to kill me ducked he continues to try to eat the branch I was stuck under leg in really really really bad shape very tired hungry again mostly thirsty need a nap
I held Dylan Jr. closely to me thinking goodnight everyone and completely fell asleep would I die from blood loss would I wake up tomorrow can I survive in these woods another day will someone find me I don't know I can't see the future be pretty cool if I could well I'll find out soon enough
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Dylanleon35: AND STAY OUT! ANNOYING LAWYERS oh sup guys well that's it for chapter 2 I know I know I haven't updated in awhile I'm sorry I love you all but school is being school anyways sorry if it's taking forever to get to dbz but I'm trying to make this as realistic as possible without killing Dylan and letting this make sense and be funny please understand and if you don't I need to stop being BANANA'S random anyways have a very Merry X Mas hope you enjoyed reading also become a Leon warrior today to help me defeat the lawyers from breaking down anymore doors and arresting me for no apparent reason anyway bye (JAZZHANDS)