Chapter 2

Lady Lost

"I said, 'You look like an innocent little girl'."

"Ah, but you know better." She alleged, shame in her voice.

"I know what I see…"

~ Shane to Kim,

1984, The Pier

Shane began in a steady sprint at first as he burst through the French door out onto the stoned terrace. His heart pounded beneath his chest, perspiration dotting his brow as his eyes scanned for clues to where she might be. Suddenly the sun peaked out from behind a passing cloud. Its rays were a jolt to his beleaguered system, causing Shane to stop brusquely and merely take in the sights and sounds of the estate. He looked over his shoulder from behind to soak in the grandeur of the Manor; the ivy wrapped around the back windows, and let his nose bathe in the smell of the English countryside before him. Slowly following along the perimeter of the retaining ponds to his left, Shane let his instinct overtake him as he began to walk purposely towards his destination. He couldn't let his emotions rule him now. Thus, his breathing eased to a calm and steady rhythm. As he descended the cobble stoned stairs that led to an old dirt path towards the outer perimeter of the estate, the insects sang in tune to Shane's pace. Occasionally, one of the horses would neigh with a word of caution; the babbling brook ahead filtered in between the towering trees lined with lavender colored heather coaxing him forward. Shane had absolutely no idea what he would say to her once he saw her; he just knew he had to reach her. His first glimpse of her was of her hair being illuminated by the sun and blowing gently in the light breeze. Shane stopped short at the vision. She was truly enchanting. Shane inhaled a deep and determined breath, then, proceeded towards her.

Approaching her from the left, he could see the rose Andrew gave her was tucked into her hair. She held a handful of pebbles, one by one skimming them across the sparkling stream. She looked completely transfixed on the activity and did not notice him until he was right by her side. Kimberly flashed an inviting but faint smile signaling that his arrival was ok. Shane knelt down, picked a few pebbles from the ground and attempted to skip a few. When the first and second pebbles made a hard 'thump" into the stream, Kimberly giggled and said,

"It's all in the wrist." She demonstrated with the next pebble as it sailed downstream. Shane was impressed and his expression showed it, prompting Kimberly to continue.

"You don't grow up on the riverfront with two brothers and not learn this skill." She offered wistfully. Shane was in mid-throw saying,

"Yes, I hear you can't advance out of primary school in Salem without it." He replied, light- heartedly. The comment elicited a girlish giggle from Kim.

"Oh, of course! It's on the final exam my dear boy!' She exclaimed in her trademark English affectation. Shane smiled broadly at her remark, looking down at his hand full of pebbles. In a flash he envisioned the four Brady children playing along the pier in Salem.

When the last throw barely made the second hop across the water, Shane dropped the remaining pebbles, brushed his hands off, and walked closer to Kim to make eye contact. Looking at her in mock defeat, Shane conceded,

"I'm afraid I'm past my pebble skimming days by about…" A pause as Shane made an elaborate facial expression of thought,

"Oh, twenty-five years?"

Kimberly smiled at the remark but was not fooled by the diversion. She suspected Shane's purpose for being there. Kim took a deep breath and cast a look across the stream barely able to keep eye contact.

"Shane, I am so sorry for things I…they…" Her voice trailed off. She turned around not able to face him.

"I know I hurt you terribly." Kim said in almost a whisper, using her hand to cover her mouth so she would not collapse into a puddle of tears. Shane reached out to comfort her, but something in her demeanor was not inviting his shoulder to lean on. Shane paused, his arm in mid-air. Balling his fist at a loss for what to say…

"Kim…" Shane wasn't sure what to say that would convey his feelings on the subject and so Kim erroneously filled in the blank and timidly turned back to face what she considered an interrogation.

"So what do you want to know?" Kim narrowed her eyes and held a silent breath for his answer.

Shane glanced to the ground and back at her with a sympathetic smile.

"Nothing that you are not comfortable sharing."

The answer surprised Kim and she could tell he meant it.

"But aren't you concerned about…"

"The children?" Shane completed her sentence. Kimberly locked eyes with him.

"Well, yes!" She blurted out mournfully "I'm sure you question who I am anymore!" Kim replied in a defeated tone.

"Ha!" Shane exclaimed, correcting her. "I do nothing of the kind."

Kim looked skeptically at his response and so Shane continued.

"Kimberly, you wouldn't be here if you weren't ready to take on the responsibilities of raising them again." He said encouragingly.

Shane reached out and gingerly touched her right arm for support and to coax her away from the water in order for Kim to address his words. Lifting her chin so he could see into her eyes, Shane continued,

"My dear Kimberly, things do change. However…" Shane paused for a moment choosing his words carefully. His mind was still reeling from his conversation with Marlena but he had to stay focused on her for the moment and not his feelings.

"You may question who you are right now but I already know the answer." He said looking around the grounds where they stood. Shane took a step back to give her space and extended his arm out to showcase the vibrant landscape.

"I found you exactly where you prefer to be when you are here. Away from the formal gardens over there…" as he pointed to the pristinely manicured shrubs that adorned the man made pond that led back to the main house.

"But here near the horses along the stream just where I knew to find you." He said smiling sweetly. His dimples were prominently displayed, which made Kim smile in return, if only briefly, before the implication of his words settled in. Suddenly, Kimberly felt exposed. She breathed deeply, straightening up to meet his gaze head on and began to respond,

"I'm afraid I assumed you were in that group." She said with a lift of her chin defensively, though her voice wasn't tense rather surprised by her misjudgment.

"And they see you how?" Shane asked thoughtfully leaning in to challenge her. Kim looked at him, briefly towards the water, then back at his attentive brown eyes and smirked,

"Fragile!"

Kimberly had been handled with kid gloves for the better part of the last year.

"What's so terrible about that?" Shane inquired, curious by her apparent annoyance at the label. When he saw Kim narrow her eyes at him in mild disgust, Shane stifled a laugh. Instead he offered his hand to her and said,

"Here, come with me."

"Shane…" Kim hesitated not quite trusting what he was up to until Shane gave her a reassuring nod before they proceeded. She placed her hand into his and let Shane guide her up the embankment, through the small canopy of trees and around the west side of the grounds towards the beautifully landscaped garden of roses that was adjacent to the manor. The garden was encased inside red brick walls that dotted the perimeter of the old greenhouse; a sturdy looking shrub rose guarding each corner book ending various other English teas that were in full bloom. Shane guided her through the myriad of roses until he reached a row that faced west. The afternoon sun bore down on them as he knelt down beside one along the grey stoned path. Kim stood briefly surveying the sea of reds, and pinks, corals, a few whites and yellows of various species dotting the garden. Inside the greenhouse, she could see the hard to grow hybrids blooming in shades of lavender and blush. A few were a clever blend of crimson and orange, yellow and corals. Remembering how Simmons labored over the creations for area competitions, Kim wondered if he had placed any in competition during the season. Shane gazed up into Kim's pensive eyes wishing he could erase the burden on her heart. She seemed miles away despite being merely a foot in front of him. Instinctively, Shane began to recount the garden's origins.

"You know, Simmons isn't solely responsible for this garden." He said smugly picking out weeds from beneath the pretty fuchsia colored plant at his feet. Kim knew that Shane spent a lot of time in this garden. Before addressing his remark, her eyes were tempted inside the glass towards the soft pink hybrid tea at the greenhouse entrance. She pushed back the wave of nostalgia begging to overtake her, to remind her of the woman she was then and looked back at him with an encouraging smile for him to continue. Shane casually surveyed the area as he spoke.

"My father began this garden." He stopped and slid past Kim to retrieve a pair of scissors to clip the roses. She followed him with her eyes, listening to his tale.

"He and Simmons actually put the greenhouse together and I…" his face beamed with pride at the memory,

"Helped him lay the bricks." Shane proclaimed. Kim soaked in Shane's demeanor, her spirit at ease with him.

"So your father enjoyed gardening?" Kimberly inquired enjoying the story.

Shane gazed back at her and quipped,

"No, but as you can see, my father was of modest means when they married." Smiling mischievously, Shane used his head to point out the manor and surrounding grounds. Kimberly laughed out loud despite herself. While she was thoroughly amused by his dry humor, Kim playfully punched his arm so Shane would be answer the question honestly. He feigned injury for a mere second before resuming to his work. Shane beamed with pride watching her relax in his presence but he couldn't look at her as he confessed,

"Father thought simply buying material things for mother was too easy given our abundant resources." Shane explained.

" He liked to do things for her, such as building that mantle over the fireplace in the family room." He said nodding towards the manor. Shane's voice was thick with emotion as he spoke.

"He loved my mother but wasn't a verbal man so tending these roses were his love letters to her." Shane never took his eyes off the plant he was pruning. His tone deeply affected Kimberly. Shane rarely discussed his parents and she knew he was revealing as much about himself to her as he was about them.

Shane went back to his task, pruning roses while handing a ripe one to Kimberly intermittently. Kimberly took in the intoxicating aroma of the roses as she let her eyes wander across each shrub.

"I just love roses!" She sighed wistfully, not realizing the happy announcement was out loud and not confined to her private thoughts. Shane whirled around and met her statement head on.

"I find it intriguing that you can see the beauty in these fragile, yet incredibly resilient plants. You don't think them weak?" He asked rhetorically, playfully baiting her. A wave of shock followed by Kim's trademark scowl rolled across her face as Kim's cheeks turned a light shade of pink. Shane knew instantly that he had hit close to her heart! He suppressed the urge to laugh, instead hurriedly continued his tale.

"My mother adored the flowers and told my father once when they were courting that her idea of wealth was freshly cut roses…" He handed a blooming white one to Kim as he spoke. Its petals extremely delicate, the flower was almost translucent as the sun's rays reflected upon it. Kimberly held it carefully wanting to show it to Jeannie when she woke from her nap. Though she was enjoying the time in the garden, Kim's insecurities loomed overhead like the threatening clouds in the distance.

"So, he took to growing roses for her. Next thing you know we have this!" Shane exclaimed triumphantly, his eyes twinkling. He continued on explaining how his father amassed the breathtaking collection and became quite the rose aficionado because of it. Being absorbed in his narrative, Shane hadn't noticed his diversion barely made a dent. He stopped abruptly and studied Kim for a moment. He wasn't doing well addressing her earlier question by the little stream and his last statement had clearly affected her because Kim remained somewhat guarded since. He had to reach her before the moment slipped away.

Something caught his attention.

"See this one here?" Shane motioned towards the bush closest to him. It set propped up on the brick ledge to receive the warmth of the sunlight. There were several blooms beginning to emerge from various stems of the plant. It wasn't as robust as the other bushes on either side, the limbs not a lushly green and thick as the others, but it was beginning to thrive just the same. Kimberly nodded her head curious to know what color the flowers would be when the blooms opened. For now, it was a secret.

Pointing to the delicate hybrid, he explained,

"It managed to get infected with aphids last summer."

Kim's eyes widen, her attention was on the plant and she waited for Shane to continue.

"When I arrived last October, Simmons thought the plant was hopeless, but I thought it deserved another shot, so I've been tending to it since!"

Kimberly eyed him cautiously.

"Do you know what aphids do to a rose, Kimberly?" He asked rhetorically, not being deterred by her silence.

"They suck the sap out of the plant, weakening it." Shane replied pointedly making sure he made eye contact. The allusion was not lost on her but she was not letting on yet.

"The first step is to prune all the dead limbs away from the remaining plant."

Shane placed the scissors aside and raised his right hand instructively,

"Now these little creatures," Allowing a little ladybug to scurry from the wooden bench that showcased the potted roses, to his fingers, and unto the plant.

"They love to eat the those parasites." Shane glanced back at Kimberly who was engrossed in his lesson by this point. She timidly moved towards Shane and the plant watching the bugs disappear into the rose leaflets. Slowly a knowing smile crept along Kim's face. When she caught Shane studying her features, Kim tried to back away but Shane smiled compassionately picking up the potted bush up to take it inside the greenhouse. Mesmerized by what had just transpired, Kim followed behind. She marveled at the meticulous attention he showed the plant, yet it was well within the character of the man she once knew. Kim wondered how they could have gotten so far away from each other that she would doubt Shane's nature. After awhile she asked incredulously,

"How do you do it?"

"What?" He asked casually taking his eyes off the plant and onto her.

"Act so unaffected about what has happen!" She exclaimed bewildered. "You're treating me like…" Her words failed her but Shane interjected passionately.

"I treat you the way I see you. And I see a strong and determined woman. Albeit, one who has suffered greatly and may be a bit wounded but nonetheless, I see you as you are," He said, gesturing towards the unknown species that had yet to bloom.

"Fragile, yet hearty enough to pull through the harshest winters. Your spring approaches Kim. I see it and soon you will too!"

His words were so full of affection that tears began to slide down Kim's cheeks. She dropped her head and stared into the bouquet of freshly cut roses she held trying in vain to compose herself. Shane reached out for her but…

"Mummy!"

The exuberant cry of their precocious two year old echoed into the greenhouse as she toddled in along side of her older brother who had rescued the little flaxen haired girl from her afternoon nap. The greenhouse erupted into a chorus of high-pitched chatter, breaking the tender moment as Andrew begged for an afternoon horseback ride before dinner and Jeannie attempted to fight for a "flawuere" without sticking herself from a menacing thorn. Kimberly hastily wiped away her tears with her free hand. Shane swung his daughter up around his right hip, giving her a dainty pink rose of an English tea variety. Jeannie wrapped her left arm around her father's neck squealing with delight over his present as Andrew grabbed his mother's hand lovingly looking for her approval. Kimberly smiled sweetly so Andrew guided them all outside towards the house. The rest of the day was spent riding a few of the Donovan horses while Marlena and Jeannie watched from the stoned-paved terrace just off from the kitchen. The jetlag caught up with Kimberly by dinnertime, so she prepared for bed along side the children who curled up next to her in the spacious king- sized four-post bed. With her children nestled on each side, Kimberly breathed a happy sigh for the first time in months and drifted off into a restful slumber for the next ten hours.