WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO
WITH ALL THESE BLUES
HAUNTING ME, EVERYWHERE, NO MATTER WHAT I DO
WATCHING THE CANDLE FLICKER OUT IN THE EVENING GLOW
I CAN'T LET GO
WHEN WILL THIS NIGHT BE OVER
Ej woke up with a nasty hangover Sunday morning and looked at the clock to see it was almost noon. He was going to be late if he didn't hurry, he looked over at the photo on his bed and picked it up to see her face again. Not that he could have forgot it, it haunted his every moment, awake or asleep all he could think about his Samantha.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU
AND BABY THERE'S A NAME FOR WHAT YOU PUT ME THROUGH
IT ISN'T LOVE, ITS ROBBERY
I'M SLEEPING WITH THE GHOST OF YOU AND ME
"My dear Samantha, how I miss you." He said and put the picture back before heading to get ready. Get a shower and shave before picking up the flowers at the door to place on her grave. As he got in his car and headed there he felt as if he were dying inside, going to see grave just reassured him that she was gone and he was alone. As he walked up to the grave, he took a deep breath to make sure he could do this again.
"Darling I still miss you more than ever. You were the best thing that I ever had. You thought I kept you on the straightened arrow, well it was just the opposite, you kept me in line. Always leaving the Dimera Legacy at the door and being free to be myself, to be Ej Wells. I never wanted to bring that danger or life near you and I hope you know that, even if it took me telling you to your grave." He said and paused as he changed the flowers in the vase and tried to wipe away the tears that were starting to fall.
"You were too precious for any of that and I just wish I could tell you." He stopped again, but this time he just couldn't seem to find the words, didn't know what to say to tell her how sorry he was and how much he wanted her back. That he would give anything to bring her back, his own life if necessary, just to feel her alive again, see her walk into a room, lighting it up with her smile. That was all that mattered anymore, her coming back!
SEEN A LOT OF BROKEN HEARTS GO SAILING BY
PHANTOM SHIPS, LOST AT SEA
AND ONE OF THEM IS MINE
RAISING MY GLASS, I SING A TOAST TO THE MIDNIGHT SKY
I WONDER WHY
THE STARTS DON'T SEEM TO GUIDE ME
As the guilt began to eat at him he could only think about their wedding, the day that determined the rest of their life and the day he lost her completely.
Samantha ran out of the church and not one person went after her, not her mother to try and comfort her, or her sister to tell her it was all going to be ok. They just all stood there starring at him, and for the first time he felt like the most honorable person in the room.
"Go after her! I know that she wasn't nothing to do with me right now but someone needs to make sure she is ok. She needs someone to help her calm down!" He said and starred around to see no one move, then after moments of silence her brother Eric stood up and walked over to him. Decking him and making him fall back towards the pew.
"Sure I'll go after her and you better stay the hell away!" he said and ran out to go find his sister. Ej never said a word as he got up and put a hand to his jaw. He deserved that and wouldn't respect Eric if he didn't hit him.
"And you, I told you that I wanted nothing to do with you or this family. Samantha was my family and you were to stay the hell away from both of us. I may not be able to get rid of you as a father but I will be damned if you keep me from the woman I love." He said and went to the altar, the one he shared moments ago with Samantha.
"I will never forgive you for this! You took away the one thing that meant the most to me, for what? Because I wasn't willing to be your pawn and play out your sick game of chess, because there was something more important to me than this twisted family?"
I DIDN'T MEAN TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU
AND BABY THERE'S A NAME FOR WHAT YOU PUT ME THROUGH
IT ISN'T LOVE, ITS ROBBERY
I'M SLEEPING WITH THE GHOST OF YOU AND ME
"You were not suppose to fall in love with her! Plus, she left you, she walked out when she found out what you were, I told you she would never accept you. Now come home to your family and leave this sick obsession behind!" He said and Ej walked right up to him, grabbing the lapel of his jacket and slamming him back into the wall.
"I know what I was suppose to do, but in case you have never noticed, love doesn't happen because you want it to or because you find someone you think would be good for you. It's something you can't control and I won't apologize for that. And as far as you, we are not family! You are a disease to me and I will never come back." He said and walked out of the church, jumping in his car and headed to her apartment to beg forgiveness.
THE GHOST OF YOU AND ME
WHEN WILL IT SET ME FREE
I HEAR THE VOICES CALL
FOLLOWING FOOTSTEPS DOWN THE HALL
TRYING TO SAVE WHAT'S LEFT OF MY HEART AND SOUL
As Ej came out of his temporary trance from the day of their wedding, he couldn't help but cry as he thought about all he had done to her, all the pain he put her through with his lies. Even the threat he made to his father that he broke now, working for him, being the one thing he despised. But it didn't matter anymore, he had nothing left to loose.
"You know, I still wake up every morning looking for you. Look at your picture on my nightstand and think that you're just in the bathroom. That you are going to come back into my arms and nothing ever tore us apart." He paused to get up and stared back down at the stone. "I wish I could stay Samantha, sit here all day and tell you everything I never got a chance to say. But, if I stay any longer I won't be able to leave, because my heart can only break so many times before I cant find the pieces anymore. Every time I look at what I have done to you, you died trying to find me and forever I will feel guilty for that."
Ej bent down and put his hand on the stone, feeling the coldness it held and just broke all over again. "Darling, every time I even look at this stone my heart falls to pieces and I wish I could trade places with you. We both know I deserve to pay for my sins, not you. In my dreams darling, forever in my dreams I have you, holding me and telling me you understand why I did what I did." Ej tried to walk away, but he felt like there was more to say, more to say to spill the guilt that would forever sit in his heart.
WATCHING THE CANDLE FLICKER OUT IN THE EVENING GLOW
I CAN'T LET GO
WHEN WILL THE NIGHT BE OVER
"Just know that I would have came back, had my father given me the messages I would have came back. I wanted you more than anything, I was just too foolish to see what he was doing. I should have called you, I should have called to check on you, or at least call Belle. I'm so sorry darling, but know that I will always love you. From now until forever you will always hold my heart in your hands and forever haunt my dreams with your memory." He said and finally pulled himself away from the grave, knowing staying would only hurt worse. He loved her more than anything, but there was no way to tell her that any more then how he already had. He knew in his heart that she knew, she knew what she was to him. As he headed back to his car, he never noticed the camera by the headstone behind Sami's, the one capturing everything that Sami could now see.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU
AND BABY THERE'S A NAME FOR WHAT YOU PUT ME THROUGH
IT ISN'T LOVE, ITS ROBBERY
I'M SLEEPING WITH THE GHOST OF YOU AND ME
Sami sat on the floor in front of the monitor, watching him at her grave and crying as she did. She had never seen anything sadder in her life, Ej crying was not a sight she had ever seen, not even at her funeral and she could see why. He looked so vulnerable, as if he would break it someone touched him. As she touched the screen, she longed to see his face again but it was black now.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU
AND BABY THERE'S A NAME FOR WHAT YOU PUT ME THROUGH
IT ISN'T LOVE, ITS ROBBERY
I'M SLEEPING WITH THE GHOST OF YOU AND ME
Sami sat on the floor for hours, just crying and thinking about how different her life had been just a couple years before. How in love she was, and how she thought she would spend the rest of her life with Ej. But now that was gone and she was alone, even a year after her wedding she was still madly in love with him. Time apart couldn't kill their love and she was so upset with herself for ever betraying that love. If anyone needed to apologize it was her, she needed to take responsibility for what she did. She made him leave and she went to the mansion to find him. This wasn't his fault, her being held prisoner was the punishment she had to pay and she was willing, if it would bring him back.
All Ej had to do was say her name and she would run into his arms, forgetting all the betrayal and deceit and just go to the nearest church for the wedding they never had. She just couldn't imagine why she waited so long, why did she wait until it was too late to realize what they were to each other, so what if he was a Dimera, he was only one by biology. Seeing him today proved that, proved that he could be loving and caring and would do anything to protect her. He loved her more than anyone else and that is why he lied, he wanted to protect her from the family she feared.
"I can't blame you for lying, I of all people am no judge. But, if you would have told me from the beginning I never would have gotten to know you, or fall in love with you and that I understand. You had the best of intensions and I should have seen that, you never thought they would backfire." She said and put her forehead to the television screen, crying louder then ever.