GUYS OMG OMG OMG I'M GOING TO HIGH SCHOOL TOMORROW! OMG OMG OMG!

Chapter 11

I curled in to a ball and stared at the closed sketchbook. That's not possible. How can Fabian like ME? I didn't sleep a wink last night, the question bubbling in my head. A knock on my door startled me.

Nina: Don't come in!

KT: Nina, you're gonna be late to school.

Nina: I'm not going today.

KT: Oh, come on. It's Fajita Friday!

Nina: I'm not feeling well.

KT: Oh. Do you want me to get Trudy?

Nina: No. I just need some space.

KT: … Alright, have it your way.

I heard KT walk away and new footsteps coming by. There were whispers and a soft knock again.

Mara: Nina?

Nina: Hi Mara.

Mara: Can I come in?

I didn't answer, my gaze landing on the sketchbook. She came in anyways and curled up next to me on the bed.

Mara: What's wrong?

I didn't answer, but she followed my gaze.

Mara: When did you get a sketchbook?

Nina: It's not mine. Look through it.

She did so, gasping when she reached the portraits.

Mara: Wow, these are incredible. Who's the secret admirer who left them for you?

I pulled the note out and handed it to her. Her eyes widened as she read.

Mara: Fabian. I knew it.

Nina: What does it mean? Does he… you know?

Mara: Nina, it's pretty clear in the note. 'I seriously like her.' 'She's an angel.' 'I like her for that.' 'She's like a mystery that's calling me to solve it.' He likes you a lot.

Nina: No. This can't be real. It can't!

Mara: What's wrong with a guy liking you?

Nina: He's not just a guy! He's Fabian! Joy wants him! A dozen girls are crushing on him! He can't like me!

Mara: And that's the magical part! He likes you, even though he could have anyone else!

Nina: No! He can't like me! I'm not- I'm not worthy! He could have better!

Mara: Nina, you're perfect for him!

Nina: No, I'm not!

Mara looked at me, confusion and disappointment in her eyes.

Mara: What part of this crush bothers you?

Nina: The part that a guy like him would want something so worthless like me. It's a mistake. Cupid shot his arrow in the wrong direction. A relationship like that means expectations, especially with a guy like him. How could I ever meet them when I'm… me?

Mara: I- I don't know where you're getting this 'I'm worthless' idea from, but you need to drop it. You're not worthless. You're unique.

Nina: If I'm not worthless, then why was my dad never there for me for the beginning years of my life, huh? Why did my mom leave me while she went off to war? Why did my dad leave me behind with you, Joy, and Caroline?

Mara: Nina-

Nina: Caroline and Joy treat me like shit and I let them because I know I don't deserve better!

Mara: Nina-

Nina: My only friends are you, Amber, and the rest of the staff! I have nothing out of that! My family is dead! My room is a garden shed! I'm forced to play Cinderella every single day! I'm always being embarrassed even though I'm an embarrassment myself! I'm worth nothing! It's a miracle I haven't done something drastic like drugs or-

Mara: Nina! Stop! Stop right now! Please.

She was rocked to tears by my ranting. Of course, it's all true.

Mara: Fabian. He invited you to the party, right?

Nina: Well, ya, but-

Mara: No buts. You're going to go and have fun with Fabian.

Nina: Actually, I'm not going.

Mara: What? Nina-

Nina: Send Fabian my apologies, but I changed my mind.

Mara: But-

Nina: It's final, Mara. I'm not going.

Mara: Nina, I- alright. I'll give him the news. You still want to stay home?

Nina: Ya. It's personal.

She nodded and left me alone, taking the sketch book and note with her. I lay down, trying to free my mind of the discovery. I felt myself drift off and have another dream.

Mom and an eight-year-old me were horseback riding on the ranch. It was a sunny day in the middle of summer and we were having another race.

Nina: Catch me if you can, mama!

Mom: Watch out Ninsy! I'm gonna get you!

I rode Sarah down the path, picking up speed as I went along. I finally made it to the finish line, which was the stable.

Nina: I won! I won, mama!

I waited two or three minutes for her to appear, but she never did.

Nina: Mama?

I watched the younger version of me sit down and wait by the well. I started to age and in a matter of seconds, I was ten and dad came on mama's horse.

Dad: Nina, it's time for you to come with me.

Nina: Where's mama?

Dad: Come now.

Nina: No! Not until you tell me where mama is!

Dad: She left us both.

Nina: What?

He started to ride away from me as I aged again.

Nina: Wait, Robert! Dad!

I aged to sixteen and sat by the well alone, Sarah trying to comfort me. Suddenly, a hand landed on my shoulder. I allowed the person behind me to sit down next to me and they did so. When I looked over, I saw Fabian staring at me. He tried to touch my cheek, but his hand was suddenly stopped by a clear bubble. The bubble wouldn't let him through and he finally gave up, giving me a sad smile. I saw his appearance begin to fade.

Nina: Fabian, no, not you! Please, stay with me! Don't leave me here! Fabian!

He finally disappeared once I bolted up from my bed. I was panting from the nightmare I had just lived through. I calmed down my thoughts just enough to look around. What am I doing? Am I really going to let a guy stop me from living my life? Hell no! I got off the bed and got dressed in a light blue flowery long sleeved dress that reached my mid-thigh and flowed smoothly. I slipped in to my leather boots and scribbled down 26 on my wrist when I realized everything was blurry. Where are my contacts? I started looking around in the search. They weren't in their regular case and they weren't on my vanity. I NEVER put them anywhere else. I retraced my steps and came to the conclusion that I accidentally dropped them either last night or this morning while I was having my emotional problem. I slowly brought out the black hipster glasses and reluctantly put them on. Last time I wore them, kids were laughing at me because hipster wasn't 'in'. Now, it is, apparently. I brushed my teeth and quickly fixed my aggressive hair, pulling it in to a fishtail braid. I grabbed my bag and glared at the clock. 8:16 am. School started at 8. I left my room and hurried to the school, hoping Mr. Winkler would be merciful today. I got my late pass from the office and headed to class, entering the room just as Mr. Winkler had finished his speech. All eyes were on me and the last thing I needed was more gossip. Why's Nina Martin's late? When did she get glasses?

Mr. Winkler: Good morning, Nina. Sleep well?

I shook my head and handed him the pass.

Nina: I wasn't feeling too hot today, so I was thinking of staying home for the day.

Mr. Winkler: Oh, I see. Are you feeling better?

I nodded.

Mr. Winkler: Perfect. Why don't you sit with Fabian so we can continue with our lesson?

Nina: Oh, um… must I?

Mr. Winkler: Well, yes, but is there something wrong?

Nina: No, no, it's just… never mind.

And with that, I took my seat next to the confused boy I did my best to ignore. Mr. Winkler started to teach again, but Fabian seemed more interested in me.

Fabian: What was that about?

Nina: A sketchbook and a note with your name on it. Does that ring a bell?

Fabian started blushing.

Fabian: I- I totally forgot about that…

Nina: Do yourself a favor and get away from me, ok? You'll understand in the long run. I just… go away. I don't need anyone in my life. I've gone alone this long, I can keep going.

Fabian: Nina, why are you pushing me away all of the sudden?

Suddenly, I remembered the clear bubble from the dream that had kept Fabian for touching my face. That bubble was a shield that I built up and right now, my shield is up. It is up and stronger than ever, but why?