A/N: Thank you one and all who are reading and enjoying. It is such an immense pleasure sharing a unique facet of my knowledge base without shock. I did get one *guest/troll* comment saying this work felt slanted toward Maura, which couldn't be further from the case. If someone wants to leave a legit comment as a guest? Totally cool approving it. If not? #ByeFelicia. This chapter may or may not be as sexy as the last as it's not as detailed on specifics. It felt needed so this is not just some total random bad-porno vibe work. Reviews = love!
It was hard enough still seeing her friend turned former lover at work but Jane adjusted. Now with the dreams she felt haunted. Dreams translated into waking memories, daydreams of how their relationship was. The critical element was recalling how it had gotten there.
The routine sexual angle to their relationship was one that was bound to happen. There was always a connection and chemistry, no matter how much Jane tried denying it. The submission, the domination, that was somewhat organic.
"You know, I really hate being so damned in control all the time," Jane spat almost out of nowhere.
Maura looked up from her tablet. "Control is a normal part of adulthood, Jane. There are instances where one can essentially lose control or be in states of controlled chaos." Maura said.
"Those would be?" Jane asked, thinking the woman would have a million ideas.
Maura thought for a moment. "One sense would be roller coasters or water slides. Another realm would be sexual submission."
Jane blinked at the last one. "I'm sorry, come again?"
"Sexual submission. BDSM stands for Bondage and Discipline, Sadism and Masochism. You've seen cases of extreme sexual sadism, such as with Hoyt. But, in actual loving relationships such as ours? It's more like controlled chaos. If I go too far, you'd have a safe word. You get to put on the brakes. You essentially give me control of what I do to you, but can take it back at any time." Maura said.
Jane's mind reeled. She knew it really shouldn't have. Maura was a sexual force to be reckoned with and the woman read voraciously on so many subjects. It still took her a few moments to process what was just said. "Have you actually...done anything like that?"
"No. I went to a sex club in New York after I'd read about the subject just to see the dynamics. There were lesbians, gay men, straight couplings. It was certainly different in all cases though men seemed much more brutal with punishments and you could see their gratification easier. Women, it was almost a dance between what the submissive wanted and the dominant needed." She asserted.
Again Jane blinked. "I...wow. It's not an unappealing thought. I've been spanked before though and it wasn't sexy."
Maura smiled. "It's knowing when, Jane. Spanking prior to being aroused won't do any good, that's very true. However, properly teased, the body's pain threshold increases greatly and will even substitute the sensations of pain for those of pleasure."
"Why doesn't it surprise me you know that?" Before Maura could speak, Jane waved her hand. "Nevermind. Would you be...interested in maybe, experiencing that?"
"Which? Dominating or submitting? You know I need specifics." Maura said.
"Dominating me?" Jane said, almost afraid of what she'd asked.
Maura nodded. "You have such a way about you I'm sure everyone would expect it would be the other way around between us. Changing the dynamic between us opens a world of possibilities to explore."
From that one conversation, their relationship grew deeper. The sessions were short, at first. Each getting used to her own role.
As Jane began enjoying it, the sessions went on longer. She even began researching devices which she knew Maura was already versed in.
When Maura began converting her yoga room, Angela wanted to ask but thankfully didn't. Maura knew if she had, she'd have to tell the truth. "It's being turned into a dungeon where I can restrain and punish your daughter." She was fairly certain that wasn't the kind of answer that would go over well with the older Rizzoli.
It took a few months but finally the collections were was the wall dedicated to devices of pleasure and another to devices of pain. There was a mid-room frame to bind Jane without barriers in an 'X' formation. A rough wooden altered St. Andrew's Cross that was in the middle of the room attached to the floor and ceiling. A tall spanking stand that actually left Jane wide open for anything, along with a spanking.
Their first few times Maura had to use the ball gag with Jane. She had to teach her how to control her sounds so Angela wouldn't hear them if she came into the house without warning.
Though as Jane didn't realize that, she thought it was just an extension of Maura asserting control and loved it.
Everything Maura did was meant to please Jane, ultimately. When Maura knew Angela had a shift at the bar, she'd have Jane clean her kitchen completely naked. Not to humiliate but to assert their roles.
Granted, Jane disliked cleaning, but it was for her Mistress. She knew it would take fair doses of punishment to earn what she oddly found herself coveting; a diamond-studded choke collar, complete with a little loop to put a leash through. Maura had shown it to her but explained it would not be given simply because she loved Jane. In their roles, the submissive earned the collar. Nothing was ever simply 'given' in this world.
As time went on, Jane became more and more trusting of Maura's ways. She knew the woman would not ever go too far. Unlike most dommes, her lover was aroused by the pleasure Jane derived from what would otherwise be pain instead of pleasure from actual pain.
Theirs was a relationship of love, trust and respect. And sadly, recalling all this, the only word ringing through Jane's head is 'was'.