Dear Journal

A Final Fantasy VII Fanfiction

Chapter 12

Luxaria

Granted it had only been two month since she'd met him. Where she came from, it was not uncommon for an entire marriage to be based on less. With their strange meeting, she could not help feeling something for him. He was tall, practically towering over her, but since the day they'd meet she felt protected. He was a great deal older than her, but she felt she was rather mature for her age. His eyes were a bright blue, when he smiled, which was often; they were brighter than the sky. His hair was short and blond, and it never seemed to be completely tamed. He always wore those sliver goggles atop his head. He seemed to have a fondness for the color blue, which made his eyes shine even brighter. He was more rugged than handsome; slightly tan and muscular from the work he did. He smoked like a chimney, which apart from the smell didn't bother Luxaria too much. Fire was her element after all. He liked to drink, he was hot tempered, and at times, like when he was angry; his accent made it very hard to understand him. He took pride in his work; he was a captain after all. There was nothing about Cid Highwind that she did not love. He had a kind heart; one Luxaria felt that had fallen for her.

She brought the dirty plates, down the stairs once again. Ever since Kasumi had gone missing; Cid had taking up an almost permanent residence at the bar. Luxaria frowned as she saw the blond sitting at the bar, drinking as usual. She quickly deposited what she was carrying in the kitchen before heading over to see him.

"Hello Cid." She greeted as warmly as she could. He stared at the copper color of his drink, not looking up. Luxaria sighed, placed a hand on his, and sat beside him at the bar.

He looked up instantly, "Hey Lu." It pained Luxaria to see him like this. She'd told him several times he was not to blame and yet here he was night after night. When Kasumi vanished… she had taken away Cid's smile, his usual mood had turned much darker, and he didn't seem to smile much anymore… Guilt could do that to a person.

"It is not your fault." She said for what must have been the hundredth time.

"I know."

Luxaria opened her mouth to reply, just as a customer called her over; it was the most crowded she'd seen the bar. Why did she have to work tonight? She sighed, getting up. "You will be here for a while, yes?" Cid nodded as Luxaria hurried off.

It had been hours since she was able to talk to Cid. As she dashed around the bar, taking orders, she kept one eye glued to the blond. She wasn't sure when the woman entered the bar, but when she moved to sit next to Cid, Luxaria watched her as well. Her hair was obviously dyed; you could still see her dark roots. Her dress was tight and showed off her body. Almost every man in the bar stared at this woman and yet here she was trying to get Cid's attention. She moved in, sitting where Luxaria had before. She watched as the woman placed a hand on him. She saw Cid turn and look at her. The woman smiled, giggling, touching his arm rubbing it with the palm of her hand. Luxaria blinked. She watched as the woman flirted with him. She whispered into his ear and he responded with a laugh. They continued like this for some time. Cid was not her mate or her betrothed or even a romance relationship with her. She had no right to feel the way she did, but here she was feeling… jealous?

"Luxaria?" Vincent questioned in his usual, monotone, but she could hear the veiled concern.

She smiled slightly and placed the bottle of red wine on the table. "I am fine." She moved away from him, checking on the other customers; all the while keeping her focus on Cid and that woman. She had whispered to him. Cid looked at her, a light haze in his eyes; he leaned forward as their lips met.

"Hey!" Yuffie exclaimed, "It's overflowing!" Luxaria turned to look at her, quickly wiping away the non-alcoholic drink; that had pooled on the table. Her focus back on Cid as he stood and staggered up the stairs, his arm around that woman's waist. He whispered something in her ear that made her laugh as they headed up the stairs and out of sight.

"Lux?" The bouncy ninja questioned. "You okay?"

She nodded quickly. "Yes, Yuffie; nothing is wrong." Luxaria smiled once before heading to the bar, where Tifa was currently working. Luxaria glanced around the bar and saw everyone seemed to be taken care of. "Tifa!" Luxaria practically shouted in her attempts to get upstairs as soon as possible.

The woman turned, "Yes?" Tifa clearly looked surprised, concerned, and distracted.

"I must take care of something upstairs."

Tifa nodded, her mind seemed to be on other things. "Okay."

Luxaria hurriedly headed upstairs, two at a time. She brought food and drinks up here almost every day, if she couldn't find his room now… well she didn't deserve him. Luxaria stopped, hand on the doorknob, ready to enter, and give them a piece of her mind…

"Cid!" the woman mewled, sounding like a cat in heat. Luxaria paused again; hand still on the knob, shaking from head to toe. "Cid!" The woman mewled out again, louder than before. Luxaria felt strange, sick, her knees shaking, and her face flushed. She tightened her grip on the knob, her knuckles white, and yanked the door open.

"Damn!" came Cid's gruff voice. He and the woman were covered by a thin white sheet, their clothes scattered about the room.

Luxaria blinked, opening her mouth to say something. "I-"

"You what?" the woman questioned, poking her head out from underneath the sheet, not appearing too bothered by the fact that someone had come into the room while they were getting busy. Luxaria just glared, she felt the fireball in her hands, and tossed it. The woman let out a horrified scream, pushing Cid and the sheet off the bed and onto the floor with a thud. The fireball scorched the headboard where her head had been just moments before.

"Lu?" Cid questioned as he tried to scramble up from the floor. Luxaria shook her head, turned quickly, and slammed the door as she rushed from the room. She headed down the stairs, practically flying in her haste to get away. The sick feeling had gotten worse, much worse. As she entered the bar she felt many eyes on her, but she didn't care – couldn't find the will to care; her chest hurt much too much for that. She walked passed the bar, passed Tifa, moved through the kitchen, into the garage, and grabbed some random boxes to block the door. She sank to her knees, on a small carpeted step in the garage. She looked down at her hands, and with a sigh looked up to see a very interesting sight.

Cloud was leaning up against his bike Fenrir, his back to Luxaria; as he held a certain red head close to him. Reno smiled as he kissed Cloud, the man was practically lying on Cloud, but Luxaria could tell he didn't seem to mind.

"Oh!" Luxaria almost shouted. Both Cloud and Reno turned to face her, a sheepish grin painted on both their faces. Cloud's face was as red as Reno's hair. Cloud opened his mouth to say something, pulling away from Reno slightly. Reno shook his head, a firm grip on the blond. "It's okay, she knows."

"I- did not – I mean." Luxaria began her face full of sadness and hurt. She stood quickly, but both Reno and Cloud stopped her.

"What's wrong, Lux?" Reno asked, Cloud beside him, a concerned look on his face.

She said nothing at first then after a moment blurted. "I found Cid …with some kurwa."

They looked at her not sure what that meant. "Uh, Lux, what's a kurwa, yo?" Reno asked.

"In my native language…it means whore." Reno and Cloud exchanged glances. Luxaria blinked, looking at ground. "He brought her up to his room…and I followed them…"

"Say no more, I get it, yo." Reno said then added, "And that old pilot calls the Turks scum."
Luxaria looked up. "She mewls like a cat in heat." At this Reno burst into laughter, and Cloud smiled.

"Come on, Reno has something important to share with the others." Cloud said moving the boxes from the door.

Luxaria looked between the two. "What news does he wish to share?"

Reno grinned. "I found Kasumi."

Luxaria beamed as she headed back inside. Reno and Cloud on either side of her.

When they entered the bar, as usual most of AVALANCHE was there. Rude was in the bar as well. The only one missing Luxaria noted was Cid.

Probably still upstairs with that woman, Luxaria thought as Reno made his announcement to the present members of AVALANCHE, Rude came to stand beside Reno as Cloud moved to take a seat at the bar and Luxaria joined him. Luxaria listened intently; apparently the people Reno and Rude worked for had taken Kasumi. Reno was now formulating a plan to rescue her.

It was just as Reno and the others finished planning the rescue that a very drunk Cid came stumbling down the stairs with an almost empty bottle in his hand. His shirt was open, showing off his somewhat tan, muscular chest. Luxaria glared as she felt her anger rise. His short blond hair disheveled, his pants faded and black, probably the only pair he could find in his drunken state. Cid was barefoot, as he swayed making his way over to Luxaria. Cid with some difficulty, as he almost missed the chair, plopped down beside Luxaria at the bar. Placing his bottle on the bar's surface. Cloud sitting to the left of Luxaria gave her a concerned look. "I can handle him." Luxaria muttered so that only Cloud heard her.

"You sure?"

Luxaria nodded, "Yes, go finish your rescue plan, I think Reno misses you." She said with a slight smile, as she noticed the red head glancing over to them. Cloud nodded, and stood leaving Cid alone with Luxaria.

"Hey, Lu." He said his breath reeking of alcohol. Luxaria said nothing, turning her head away from him. He nudged her slightly, "Hey, Lu." he said again.

She turned to look at him, and in the calmest tone she could manage said, "Leave me."

Apparently her face, didn't match her tone as Cid replied. "Wha's 'rong, Lu?"

"Nothing!" she snapped at him. "Now Leave Me!" she pushed him slightly.

"No," He said grabbing hold of her hands so she couldn't push him again.

"Let go." She growled out, her snow colored eyes showing intensity that Cid had never seen before.

"Naw…not b'fore ya tell me what' dune got ya all worked up." Cid slurred his accent much more present when he was hammered.

"You." Her voice had a venomous quality to it, which was completely lost on Cid.

"Me? Wha' the hell did I do?"

"You – do not know!?" Luxaria was screaming now, she was sure the rest of AVALANCHE was watching them now. But honestly, she didn't care. "You brought that woman up to your room! You and she…Cid Highwind, what does she mean to you?"

Cid grinned, letting go of Luxaria's hands, as he brought his hands up to cup her face. A light shown in his cloudy sky blue eyes, it was like he understood, then he opened his mouth and spoke. "What you want a piece of the captain? We'll have a good ol' time. I'll be easy with yah'. If yah want, we'll go right now."

"Damn it, Cid!" Luxaria shouted at him, smacking him clear across the face, leaving a bright red handprint that seemed to glow, catching him completely off guard and off balance as he fell from his seat landing on the wooden floor with a loud thud.

"Wha' the hell, Lu?" He questioned from the floor, somewhat sobered by the slap.

Luxaria now standing looked down at him. "I LOVE YOU, Cid Highwind! But you are too drunk and too stupid to know it!" Luxaria screamed at him, all the pain, hurt, sadness, and anger rolling off her in waves. She felt the tears fall for the second time since she'd arrived in this strange place. She opened her mouth to take the words back, but it was too late now. "I thought I could love you…I did love you…but I was wrong … royalty and commoners never mix." She looked down at him, into those sky blue eyes, and said, "That's where you belong…you may take to the sky…but you belong on the ground." Luxaria turned from him, her vision blurry; she could tell everyone was watching her. She rushed towards the door and quickly opened it, heading out onto the crowded city street. She was sure she heard someone calling "Lu!" behind her as she got farther and farther away from the bar and the man she still loved, and would always love.