CHAPTER 5: Fear and Fabrications

SPENCER'S POV:

"Spencer, what was on your wrist?"

I felt my heart stop. My palms grew sweaty, and I wondered what to say.

"Oh nothing." I faked a smile and grabbed my stuff. "Are you ready to go?"

She must have seen past my lies because she stepped even closer to me.

"Spencer, that was not nothing." She was dead serious, and it scared me.

"Look, I just fell okay? We have some really bad rose bushes in the backyard, it's not a big deal."
I crossed my fingers behind my back, hoping she'd buy the lie I had just told her. After a few moments of intently staring me down, she relaxed.

"Okay. If you say so." She smiled, and we walked over to her car. I praised the spurt of luck I had had, and hopped in her car. She dropped me off at home without further questioning, although she seemed very deep in thought. I hoped she wouldn't figure it out, we didn't have rosebushes in our backyard. I had panicked a little.

A little? Yeah right..

Okay, maybe a lot.

I groaned and shook my head. Get it together Spencer, talking to yourself is not going to help anything.

"What am I thinking…" I muttered out loud as I walked inside my house. These past few hours had been a huge mess, and I had the feeling they were going to get worse.

EMILY'S POV:

I couldn't believe it. Aria had just called me, explaining what she had seen on Spencer.

"Maybe you're making it worse than it really is." I replied, not wanting to believe our friend would do such a thing.

"I'm serious Emily, this seemed to be pretty…pretty intense. And when I asked her what it was, she seemed really tense."

I groaned. "Why would she do this? Doesn't she know she can always come to us with her problems? Why did she feel as though that was the only way out?" I ranted.

"I don't know Em, I don't even know if what I saw was what we're thinking. Maybe you're right, maybe I'm just overreacting. Either way, we need to keep an eye on her. She's acting strange." Aria replied.

"Absolutely. Does Hanna know?" I asked.

"Not yet. I'll call her next."

"Sounds good. I have to get some stuff done, thanks for calling Aria." I had a bunch of homework, and I was going to need some time to think this new event over.

"No problem, I'm just really worried."

I sighed. "Me too Aria, me too."

"Okay. I'm going to call Hanna, I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"Night Aria."

"Night Em."

She hung up, and I placed my phone on my desk. I tried to get my homework done, but Spencer was clouding up my thoughts. I was so worried.

I picked up my phone again and called Toby. Maybe he would know what's up.

I waited for him to pick up, but I got his voicemail. Sighing, I decided to leave him a voicemail, maybe he was busy working.

"Hey Toby, this is Emily. I don't know if you know this, but Spencer's been acting really out of it lately. We're all really worried about her, and I was just wondering if you know what's up. Call me when you get a chance."

I tossed my phone over to my bed, and pulled my homework back out. I felt better calling Toby, but I hoped that he would call by the end of the night, or I wouldn't get much sleep.

SPENCER'S POV:

I opened the door and walked inside. Setting my backpack down on the floor, I walked over to the island.

"Hello Spencer." My dad was sitting at the counter.

"Hey dad." I smiled at him.

"How was school honey?" He asked.

"Oh it was fine." I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and took a sip.

"Are you sure it was fine?" He asked again, starting to seem a bit agitated.

"Yeah dad, it was alright. Why does it matter so much to you?" I questioned, raising my eyebrow.

My dad sighed and pulled out a piece of paper. He handed it to me, and I looked it over. It was a math test from yesterday, I had gotten an 85 on it.

"What's this about dad?" I asked.

"Spencer! You got a B on a math test!" He half-yelled.

"Yeah I know, but it's not a big deal. I still have an A in the class." I stated.

"Spencer, one slip up like this could be the start of a pattern. You should have studied more! A B is unacceptable!" He had raised his voice and was yelling now.

"I'm sorry dad! I'll do better next time!"

"No! Sorry does not fix this, I expected more from you. I'm going upstairs to discuss this with your mother. If you get one more low grade, you will be grounded. Do you understand?" He snapped. I felt my eyes tearing up, but showing weakness would make things much worse.

"Yes dad. I understand." I replied solemnly.

"Good. Night Spencer." He walked upstairs, and I felt myself let out the breath I didn't know I had been holding.

I know I slipped, and missed a few questions on the test, but I still had an A in the class! And honestly, an 85 wasn't all that bad, I know Hanna and her mom would be celebrating if she brought a grade like that home.

I sighed and started to head upstairs when I heard something from downstairs. Melissa was sitting on the couch, a smug look on her face.

"So Spencer, a B huh?" She teased.

I groaned. "Shut up Melissa, it's none of your business."

"Oh, but Spencer, it is my business. You see, if you start failing your classes, you're bringing the whole family down. Don't you get it? We have a name to protect. The Hastings don't get B's Spencer. You should be more careful." She lectured.

"I already talked to dad, it was one mistake."

Melissa frowned. "Oh Spencer, just keep telling yourself that." She smiled and walked up to me. "We all know that you've made more mistakes then that." She grinned sickly and walked upstairs.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I shouted.

Melissa shrugged. "You're the one making the mistakes, not me. I think you can figure it out." She walked into my parent's bedroom, and I felt my heart start to crack.

She was right. I was ruining this family. First with the police showing up at our house for questioning, to Ian's death, to Toby betraying me.

I trudged upstairs and walked into my room.

I grabbed the piece of glass I had been using and sunk to the floor of my bathroom. It shone under the florescent lighting. I sighed and brought the glass to my wrist again, but changed my mind.

Instead, I pulled out my phone and called Toby.

He didn't pick up, but that was expected. I left him a message instead.

"Hey Toby. It's me. I'm not calling to say I forgive you, I just want some answers. Please call me back if you're ready to explain why you did what you did." I set the phone down on the floor.

I started to proceed with my "activity" when I thought back to earlier today. Aria had already almost seen my wrist, and everyone else could have seen it too. I needed to do it in a better place.

I pulled my jeans down and tossed them onto the floor. Taking the piece of glass, I moved it back and forth across my thighs, until all the anxieties and demons from the day were left, drowning in the puddles of their own blood. Of my blood.

Feeling calmer, I spent the rest of the night calling and leaving messages for Toby. Now that I could focus, all I wanted was answers.