There was silence as Kayden and Bellamy were led away from the party and into the living quarters of the camp. The man alone seemed to be in charge of them. Kayden was thankful for the lack of Councillors for once. She didn't think she could take looking the Commander in the eye knowing what she was about to do.
When they finally stopped, they were facing a small structure at the edge of the camp. It wasn't much, but it seemed to be the same sort of cabin that everyone else in the camp received. The man nodded to Bellamy and Kayden and then left them to return to the now quieting celebration.
At least he isn't staying around to watch, Kayden thought. But she still wasn't all that relieved.
Bellamy and her were completely alone for the first time since they'd been married. They didn't speak. Awkward silence seemed to be becoming a trend for them. After a few moments Bellamy decided to open the door to cabin.
Calling it a house was a bit of a stretch. The walls were made of simple wood and it had only one room. There was a meager bed in the middle, with blankets and animals pelts to serve as covers. There was a table at one end of the room with a few things on it, some cups, a vase with flowers, a small book case. The rest of the contents of the room were a few cabinets, two wooden chairs, and lanterns to be lit with fire.
Bellamy stood in the corner. It seemed he didn't know what to do either. Kayden silently wondered if he was as nervous as she was.
She swallowed. Everything she'd done up until now, all the steps she'd taken to keep her people safe, would mean nothing if she didn't do what she had to do next. She slowly walked over to the table across the room and began removing her jewelry. She felt Bellamy's eyes on her, watching her every move.
She started with the bangles. She pulled each one off and laid them on the table. Next, she bent down and removed the anklet. Finally, she pulled the amulet over head and gently laid it on the desk. She moved to take off the ring next but then thought better of it. When she was satisfied that she'd removed all necessary accessories, she starting removing the belt from her waist. It was the only thing keeping the fabric on.
Her back was still to Bellamy and her hands shook as the untied it. Just when she was about to pull the knot free, she felt Bellamy's hand on hers.
"Stop," he said. "Stop, I won't do it."
Kayden breathed nervously. She swiveled her neck to face him and spoke quietly.
"But the marriage has to be consummated for the Alliance to be official…"
"I won't do it," he stated firmly. "Not like this." He began to re-tie her belt. When he was done, he backed up.
"You take the bed. I'll sleep on the floor."
Kayden turned to face him, puzzled. Of all the things she had expected to happen tonight, this was not one of them. She was about to walk towards the bed when something caught her eye. The amulet. It was blue like the eyes of the Commander. She picked it up and held it in her hand, studying it. She remembered what the Commander had said.
We need this alliance. Once you're one of theirs they'll protect you. Civilians will die too. Children.
Kayden gripped the amulet tightly.
"No," she said quietly.
"What?" Bellamy asked, surprised.
"I said no." She turned to face him and laid the amulet on the table.
She walked towards him, slowly.
"You said you did this for your people. To keep them safe." He nodded. "Well, you're not the only one with people to think about. And my people won't be safe until I have a child. Your child." Bellamy swallowed. She continued walking towards him, but this time she moved her hands to her back to start undoing her belt. She spoke forcefully.
"So I don't care what you will or won't do. We have to do this." When she'd untied the belt, she pulled it from around her waist and dropped it to the ground. The dress didn't fall away completely, only loosened. She was still covered.
He looked at her, shocked. He swallowed again. "You're not much of a princess, are you?" was all he had to say.
"No," she responded matter-of-factly. "I was a warrior. A captain," she said proudly.
"A captain…" he repeated under his breath. "How the hell'd you end up here?"
She thought for a moment.
"Does it matter?" she asked.
He shook his head. She could see he was nervous. In that moment, he wasn't a man. He wasn't a soldier. He was just a boy who knew his duty, but was still afraid of it. She helped him.
Slowly, she reached up to her shoulder and pulled the fabric down. It tumbled to her feet, light as a feather. She was exposed. She hadn't broken eye contact with Bellamy yet but she watched his eyes carefully trace her body. He swallowed and looked back at her. There wasn't desire in his eyes like she had expected. He was still scared.
She was immediately grateful that, of all the people she could have been standing here with, he was the one that she'd had to marry. He looked at his feet briefly and when he looked back up at her, there was a softness in his eyes that prompted Kayden to start moving closer. But there was a strength there too. That common understanding that bonded them reflecting back at her.
"Take off your clothes," Kayden commanded. She reached up to remove the clip holding her hair in place. She let her wild mane fall freely. He pulled off his shirt, revealing the cut chest and abs underneath. When she stood close enough, she reached up to hold his face in her hands. She might have kissed him, but this wasn't a personal affair. She reached down to untie his pants and pulled them down. He removed them the rest of the way.
When he was fully undressed, she circled her arms around his neck. She pulled in close, waiting for him to move. He looped his arms around her legs and pulled her up to straddle him. She couldn't help but gasp at their sudden intimacy. He walked them over to the bed.
He laid her down gently and, without making eye contact, rested his head next to her neck. Kayden felt him moving beneath the sheets and then, she felt him thrust into her. She gasped.
He bucked his hips in a circular movement, pulling in and out gently so as not to hurt her. He was a good lover, that much Kayden could tell, but they weren't making love. This was pure business. A partnership with a clear goal and purpose.
Kayden tried to contain her exclamations but once or twice she'd slip up and gasp audibly. She forced her breathing to remain steady and low. She distracted herself by looking at his back. It was hard and covered in muscles. She could see them tensing and relaxing with each thrust. Beads of sweat started appearing on his perfect physique. She felt the build, watched his muscles harden and then felt him release inside her.
When it was done, they lay there for a moment or two. Then he rolled off of her without looking at her face and turned his back to her. She laid there and closed her eyes for a second. It's done, she thought to herself. She wouldn't let emotions get the better of her. She showed him her back as well and pulled the covers over her, staring off into the distance.
Kayden didn't sleep most of the night but she must have dozed off at some point because when she woke, Bellamy was gone and there was light streaming in through the gaps in the shutters. She almost forgot where she was but then the gold band on her finger caught her eye.
Right, she thought. I'm a newly-wed.
She sat up in the bed, still holding the covers over her. She was alone but still weary from the previous night. She looked at the foot of the bed to see some fresh clothes laid out, and realized Bellamy must have left them for her.
Kayden said a silent prayer for the change of clothing and thank god, she thought excitedly. Boots.
She was just pulling on the shirt when the door opened, and she turned to see Bellamy. Even though her back was to him, he realized she was still changing and turned away, surprised and timid as ever. Kayden's cheeks reddened as she finished putting on the shirt.
"Sorry…" she heard him stammer.
"It's OK…" she responded quietly. She faced him, crossing her arms uncomfortably.
"I didn't see you at breakfast."
"Umm… yeah. I wasn't hungry." She looked around the room awkwardly.
"Well," he walked over the table and placed a plate of food and a cup with yellow liquid in it. "I brought you some stuff anyways. Just in case." He gave her a tight smile.
"Thank you," she said politely. "And for the clothes," she added.
"You're welcome," he nodded.
Kayden looked down at her feet shyly and started edging the floor with her toe. She decided to speak first. "Don't you have any… work to do?" She hoped it didn't sound as rude as she thought it might. Bellamy seemed to understand.
"Uh… no," he answered simply. "The Commander insisted I take a couple days off."
"Oh," was all she could think to say.
"I could show you around the camp today. I mean, if that's what you want. I mean, if it's not-"
"No," she cut him off. She softened her voice a bit. "No that uh… that sounds good." She offered him what she hoped was a warm smile.
"Good. Good…" he nodded again. "But, uh… you should eat something first."
"I'm fine," she responded softly.
"I… didn't mean for you." She looked up at him in time to see his eyes flick towards her belly. Understanding flared in her mind.
She walked over to the table and grabbed a piece of bread off the plate in one hand and the cup in the other. She padded back to the bed and sat down at the edge, starting on the bread. Kayden ate in silence. Bellamy watched her intently. When she finished the bread, she quickly gulped down the drink which she immediately recognized as apple juice. She reached for the boots, slid them on, and tied them in a hurry.
"Are they the right size. I… had to guess," Bellamy asked.
"Yeah. Yeah they're good," she responded, getting up from the bed.
"Good," he smiled again. "Oh and that reminds me." He reached into his bag and brought out a light piece of knit woolen fabric. "For when it gets cold." He nodded at her to take it. She pulled it out of his hand and put it on. It was soft.
"Thanks," she breathed.
Kayden briefly looked around the room that would be her home from now on. She sighed, thinking of her old quarters back at her camp. She used to have to share a room with 30 other soldiers. It had been loud and dirty and difficult to live in, but she had lived some of the best memories she had with her fellow warriors there. She was going to miss that.
"Ready?" he asked.
Kayden wasn't sure if she'd ever be.