Chapter 3:

The only problem with "forgetting it" happened to be the fact she couldn't.

Clarke didn't have the luxury, nor the resources, to wash away the hormonal residue on her skin with a cold shower. She couldn't take moonshine to her lips as a way to disinfect his sweet kiss away and emotionally numb her heightened libido—Jasper and Monty were officially on probation from manufacturing until the drought ended. She couldn't forget his roaming hands, the seconds that ticked by so quickly—so beautifully before she ended it. What if she hadn't ended it?

Don't go there…

The afternoon heat burned her skin, the humid wind flicking against her cheeks like a reminder that she was hot and bothered by his presence. Bellamy walked ten feet in front of her, his shirt clinging to his physique like she wanted to cling to him. Stop thinking about him like that, Clarke told herself because she recognized the thoughts as destructive. You were right to stop it…just pretend it never happened…if you close your eyes really hard, it's like a fucking nightmare that never happened… or just a sex dream that blessedly got caught off… Clarke couldn't wait to return to camp so she could lock herself in room and relieve the tension pooling in her stomach. She had to get him out of her head.

"Sleep well?" Octavia chimed like a beautiful bird, her tone refreshed but also touched by the lazy feeling the afternoon's broiling temperatures created. Clarke withdrew her gaze from Bellamy's backside and looked at the brunette with a small smile. Then, she remembered Octavia's question and frowned.

"Uh, yeah, moderately I guess…so, can I have my original assignment back tonight?" Clarke dreaded asking the question but she couldn't sleep next to Bellamy again. The torture of it was too much to handle and she feared she wouldn't be able to control herself if put in the situation again.

Octavia arched an eyebrow, "Why?"

"I, uh, I don't think Bellamy likes sharing with me. It's just, we spend so much time together as it is…and I don't like thinking about business while I'm trying to sleep…" If Octavia wanted to question Clarke's true motives, she didn't. In a way, Clarke felt bad for letting down her friend. Abby announced in the early morning light that they were extended their trip another day, which meant that they were camping again—that thought alone sent those unnatural shivers up her spine. She couldn't follow through with the favor she granted Octavia, she just couldn't.

Octavia narrowed her eyes and frowned. Clarke could tell that she was disappointed, which caused her heart to skip a beat. She didn't like disappointing her friends, especially now that they were all getting along so smoothly. Octavia shrugged, "Fine. Whatever, I'll ask Raven and Harper even though they'll be bummed… David Miller shouldn't get his own tent, maybe you can bunk with him." Clarke nearly gagged at Octavia's suggestive wink as she mentioned David Miller. Octavia's real suggestion didn't escape Clarke's ears, though. By mentioning David Miller, Octavia was asking Clarke to not ruin the set up they'd already established. Raven liked bunking with Abby. Harper and Octavia got along better than Bellamy and Octavia got along and Bellamy and Clarke were supposed to be able to handle themselves like the adults that they pretended to be on a daily basis.

"First off, ew..." Clarke said with a disconsolate expression, "That's Miller's dad and secondly…damn, I guess I can…fuck, I don't want to share with my mom either." Octavia wasn't used to Clarke's foul mouth, so her features relayed a message of complete and utter shock. It took a moment for Octavia to compose herself but once she did, it was about her needs.

"Well I don't want to share with Bellamy. Harper doesn't want to share with Raven—she thinks Raven's mean."

"Because she is." The corners of Clarke's lips turning up for a moment.

"But it's part of her appeal." Octavia claimed with a soft smile.

"Agreed." Clarke nodded, looking forward as they stepped over the roots in the ground. Neither girl heard Raven shuffling behind them.

Her voice floated over both of them with a sweet chuckle, "Are you two talking about me?" Raven caught up to walk beside them. Raven was still making improvements on her brace but she'd learned how to operate in it like a pro. At times, Clarke thought Raven could beat Jasper in a race even though that wasn't saying much. Raven seemed happier ever since she and Kyle Wick made it official. Neither party seemed to be the gooey romantic type but Wick was a good man. He made Raven happy and after everything, she deserved to be happy.

"Just about how much we love you." Octavia's chirped like a little bird once more, a larger smile gracing her lips. Clarke admired Octavia's happiness as well but something melted in Clarke's heart every time she watched her friends move forward in their forming lives. It was like everyone was finding peace around her, except her. Maybe she was delusional, thinking she deserved peace after everything she'd done in the name of war—in the name of survival—but she longed for some type of moment where she could smile blindly without the constant hindering thoughts circling her brain.

"So, how was last night, Clarke? Get any action?" Raven asked with a sly smirk, her eyebrows raised as she elbowed Octavia in the side.

"What?" Clarke asked, the blush deepening on her cheeks. She turned her attention to the dirt that coated her boots. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Raven rolled her eyes, "So the dry spell continues."

"Excuse me, dry spell?" Clarke asked, stunned that her friends were labeling her lack of a sex life as "dry spell" in reference to the drought they were going through.

"It's a real bummer. So tense, so cranky." Raven said with a mocking frown. Octavia nodded her head in agreement. Clarke's blush increased. Sex was an uncomfortable subject for her. It wasn't like her mother and father ever got around to the sex-talk during her formative years. Statistically, she was in solitary by the time it would even matter. All of her knowledge stemmed from medical textbooks and her short experience with Finn. At least the textbooks were informative…

"Say what you will…it's whatever." Clarke claimed with a shrug, "And you're crankier than me on a good day."

"At least I'm getting laid." Raven pointed out, "Unlike you."

"That, she is." Octavia voiced with a flashing smirk that said, me too.

"So, was this some type of scheme? Lock me in a tent with the horniest male in camp and see how things go?" Clarke scoffed, suddenly feeling used. Raven and Octavia exchanged a long look of disappointment before Octavia started to speak again.

"We didn't even think of that." She frowned, "Dammit Raven…that would have been perfect. But no, I legitimately don't want to be under the watchful eye of my brother. You are the sacrificial lamb." There was a devilish glimmer in her eye as she followed up, "If the lion gets hungry though…"

"Please stop. No one is hungry. No one is having…" Clarke couldn't explain what made her glance in his direction. She bit her lip instinctively as she met his brown eyes because she didn't know what to say and she was trying so hard to forget about it. If not for her, for him. He didn't want to remember his lapse in sanity and she didn't want to remember how his hands felt against her bare skin. They owed it to each other to respect one another's wishes. He smiled in her direction before turning his head back to David Miller. "No one is having sex."

Her friend's weren't idiots and didn't have the common courtesy to let the heated moment go unnoticed. "Right now" Raven snorted, "But later…damn. Da-yum." Clarke knew that Raven, nor Octavia would let her get out of the favor she so graciously accepted the day before. They were planning something—calculating every move like the trained meddlers they'd become.

Clarke rolled her eyes, "Childish."

She yelped loudly, drawing everyone's attention, as Octavia's hand collided with her ass, "You know it."

I am so screwed.

So.

Fucking.

Screwed.

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