CHAPTER 22: How Do I Say I'm Sorry?

ARIA'S POV:

I jumped out of the car, and sprinted up to Spencer's house. Hanna followed after locking her car, and caught up to me.

Melissa opened the door for us, fresh tears on her face. I panicked, worried that something had happened but she insisted that Spencer was fine, and told us to head upstairs.

I followed Hanna upstairs and into Spencer's room. Emily had crashed on the chair next to Spencer's bed.

"Em?" Hanna walked over and shook her slightly.

"Huh? Yeah?" She jolted awake. "Oh, you're here." She sighed, relieved.

"Is she okay? Are you okay? What happened?" I started bombarding her with my questions.

"She's fine, she was up by the sign. I think the cold wiped her out because she was unconscious when I found her. I'm fine, thank you. A little stressed, but relieved that she's okay." Emily sniffed. "When I saw her…I thought I lost her…"

I walked over and placed my hands on Emily's shoulders.

"It'll be okay. She's here with us now, and isn't leaving anytime soon." I reassured her.

"Yeah, just out of curiosity, what happens if she doesn't wake up anytime soon?" Hanna questioned, glancing over at the sleeping girl.

"I guess we'll take her to the hospital then." Emily sighed. "I wanted to bring her home instead of to the hospital, because I was worried that if she woke up there in her….mental state…things might go wrong." She choked. "I guess it was stupid of me, I should have gone there first…"

"No no, I'm sure everything will be fine Emily. If anything she just passed out from lack of sleep. She didn't sleep much when she was at your house." Hanna mentioned.

"Really?" Emily looked shocked.

"Yeah. She was up in the middle of the night, and I talked to her for a while before she went to sleep, but I have no idea how long she'd been up." Hanna explained.

I walked over and rubbed Emily's back soothingly. This was a lot for her to take in, and she was probably having the toughest time dealing with it out of all of us. After all, she had a stronger emotional attachment to our friend.

"Well, I'm going to head downstairs and make sure Melissa is okay. This was probably a lot for her to handle. Hanna?" I questioned, thinking that leaving Emily and Spencer alone might do some good. Especially if Spencer wakes up.

"Oh, yeah sure that sounds like a good idea." Hanna quickly picked up on what I was hinting at, and followed me downstairs.

"If you need anything, you know where to find us." I reminded her. She nodded wearily, and I closed the door behind me.

SPENCER'S POV:

I was running through darkness. My feet were bare, and I couldn't see anything. The ground was bitter cold, and my feet stung. I reeled over and gasped for air, my lungs burning. I don't know how long I had been running, but I was exhausted.

"Spencer?" I glanced up at the sound of my name. I wish I could forget that voice, but even though I couldn't see her, I knew who it was.

"Alison?" I asked the darkness.

"Spencer…what happened? When I left you were…you were stronger than this!" She proclaimed.

"I know…I guess it was just time for me to crumble." I mumbled.

"Spencer, don't say that. You're better than this, stronger than this." I couldn't see her, but I knew she was smiling.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" I hesitated.

"I guess death has changed me." She laughed, and I knew she was joking, but my brain was so muddy I let it be an okay answer.

"Where are we?" I asked her.

"What do you mean? Don't you recognize this?" She sounded confused.

"No, it's nothing but dark." I choked.

"Oh Spencer, all you have to do is open your eyes." Alison probably rolled her eyes at that point.

"Really?" I was unsure if she was telling the truth.

"Just open your eyes Spencer…"

I sighed, and slowly let my eyes open to the light.

I blinked a few times, taking in my surroundings. I was in my room, and on my bed, but I had no idea how I got here. Last I remembered I was in the middle of the woods.

I glanced over at the sound of light breathing. Emily was passed out in the chair next to my bed, and I knew instantly that she was the one that found me. I sighed and carefully got out of my bed. My muscles were sore from the cold, and my head hurt like hell, but I walked over to her anyways. Kneeling down on the carpet, I gently placed my hand on hers.

"What?" Emily jerked awake, and I flinched back a little.

"Are you okay?" I asked, making sure she hadn't woken from a nightmare.

"Yeah yeah…I'm…fine…" Her eyebrows scrunched together as she realized who was in front of her.

"Spencer? What? When did you wake up? I should be the one asking you if you're okay!" She rambled, and got out of the chair. We moved to a sitting positon, so that we faced each other.

"I woke up a minute ago." I smiled softly.

"Okay, I'm glad." She leaned forward and hugged me tightly.

It caught me off guard, and I tensed up. She let go, and looked into my eyes worriedly before it clicked.

"I forgot. We didn't end on the best terms." Emily looked down at her feet. "I'm sorry, I just had to make sure…I had to know it was you." She smiled sadly.

"What do you mean?" I questioned, unsure of what she meant.

"Nothing. I was just relieved that you were here, alive. I thought…I had thought I lost you when I found you lying on the ground…" She choked.

I sighed and looked at my feet. I hadn't meant to cause her so much pain, I guess I hadn't thought she'd be so worried after where we'd left off.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have stormed out like that, or said those things to you. I never meant…I didn't mean any of those things I said…" I felt my eyes tear up and I coughed.

"I know you didn't mean it. I shouldn't have said things that made you react that way. It was cruel of me. I know I don't understand what you're going through...I was just so worried that I was losing you, I went paranoid." Emily sighed, as if a weight had been lifted.

"I get it. I shouldn't have done anything to make you worry. I shouldn't have lied to you, or to Aria and Hanna. It was cruel of me." I muttered.

"No, I realize why you lied. You were trying to protect us, and trying to get better on your own. I should have seen it and realized that you needed one of us, we were just so stupid and thought that you could handle most of it on your own." Emily laughed softly. "It was pretty dumb."

"No it wasn't, it's hard for you guys to attempt to understand something you most likely never will." I smiled reassuringly.

Emily sighed, and buried her head in her hands. "I just…I don't know how to help you." She choked.

"You being here for me is helpful, I promise. It's going to be hard, and most of the problems I will have to deal with on my own, but having your support is what gets me through days when I really want to give in to the temptation. Sometimes it's not enough, but I can't rely on just you. I need to stay strong on my part as well, and I wasn't." I admitted.

"I just wish I could do more…" Emily mumbled from beneath her hands.

"I know. But there's nothing you can do. I need to get through most of this on my own, but I will need you. If you're okay with that." I wanted to make sure I wasn't pressuring her into anything she didn't want to do.

"Oh honey, of course I want to help you." She cried.

"Good. Then we'll make it through this." I grabbed her hands gently, and moved then from her face so that she looked me in the eyes.

"Thank you Emily." I smiled. "Thank you for everything. I wouldn't be here if not for you." I wanted to make sure she knew that even if she felt like she was helpless, she was still keeping me here.

"It's no big deal Spencer." She laughed.

"Good, and I know it may not seem like I am at the moment, I'm here for you too. I'll always be here for you, I promise." I reassured her.

Emily seemed to be stuck in silence.

"Em?" I questioned. She wasn't responding, but looking at me strangely.

Within seconds, her lips were crashed against mine.