Disclaimer: The 100 is now mine, neither are Murphy and Raven.

Warning: This starts off very light, and does not end that way.

"You know when you said you were gonna straddle me tonight, this is not what I had in mind."

Raven rolled her eyes, ignoring him. She was sitting on the curve of his ass, legs on either side of him as she applied the medicine for his scars. Abby had gone to visit her in the afternoon at the tech shop to bring her up to speed on Murphy's condition.

Basically, he wasn't putting on the balm Abby had given him to lessen the redness of his scars. To which Raven had replied by wiping her fingers on a towel and throwing it in her workspace before storming out to the front gate where he was on patrol. She had planned to yell at him for being such an idiot, but as she got closer, her anger simmered down a little and she was able to think clearly.

She knew Murphy. If she stomped down there and screamed in his face (which is exactly what she felt like doing), he would shut down, say nasty things back, and both of them would be pissed off for the next few days. She had to go about this the smart way, so she smiled pleasantly at an angry Major Byrnes as she passed by her, ignoring the questions the woman was firing at her. Murphy had turned around and met her halfway when he saw her head for his direction. Raven had pulled him by his biceps and whispered in his ear.

"Tonight— You, me. In your tent."

She had released her grip, leaving him slightly confused. She had watched in amusement as his Adam's apple bobbed in his throat as he swallowed and shook his head, ignoring the wiggling eyebrows of the other men on patrol.

"Technically, I never said anything about straddling you." Raven dipped her fingers in the open container of the balm.

"It was implied. I feel betrayed." Murphy said. "But since you're here, I have this knot right where your hand just was."

"Here?" Raven touched a tense spot on the top of his back near his shoulder.

"Yeah. Right there." He moaned, burying his face into his pillow.

She worked at the knot for a few minutes and then went back to applying the medicine to the rest of his back.

"It's really important that you put this on every night, John."

"Do I look like I can reach every spot on my back?" He replied, his voice muffled by the pillow.

"Then ask someone to do it." She rubbed her hands along the length of his back to wipe the remaining medicine off of her hands.

"I don't want to bother you every night." He said as she lifted herself from him and sat on the edge of the cot.

"Then ask Bellamy. We can alternate nights."

"You know how awkward that could be?" He pulled himself up and sat beside her.

"And this isn't?" Raven raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, no— You're the only one besides Dr. Griffin that has seen my back anyways." He bumped her with his shoulder. "And I was hoping for something a lot more intimate from you tonight, so this was not awkward." He laughed nervously.

"Yeah, sorry about that." She said, her face warm with embarrassment. "I could have probably got this to happen without baiting you with sex."

"Well you didn't specifically say we would, I just assumed. You had that face on."

"And what kind of face is that?" She laughed.

"I don't know, your eyes get like this look and your mouth—" He trailed off. "It's pretty hot."

She laughed again, this time loudly as she lightly slapped his arm. "Okay, that is my cue to call it a night."

Raven heaved herself out of the bed and Murphy followed. She grabbed her jacket from the bed and he helped her into it.

"So you think I'm pretty hot, huh?" She said as she stood in front of the tent's flap.

Murphy flushed, running a hand through his mop of hair. Raven's eyes did not miss the fact that his blush was spread over his bare chest as well, and she couldn't withhold the small smile that crept on her face.

He slowly walked closer to her, until she could feel the heat radiating from his bare skin on her collarbone.

"I think you," he cupped her chin with his hand, his thumb ghosting her lower lip "will be the death of me."

Her lips parted at the feel of his calloused finger, and she saw his eyes drift to them. He exhaled slowly, touching her forehead with his.

"It's getting late." He said quietly.

"Goodnight, John." Raven whispered back, starting to peel herself away from him.

He held her tightly by the waist, and without another word brought his lips to her forehead. She closed her eyes, a wave of forgotten sensations washing over her.

"Goodnight." He murmured against her forehead, and he backed away from her. He heard the swish of the flap of the tent, and he lay on his cot, throwing an arm over his eyes and thinking to himself when exactly he started kissing girls on their foreheads. He wasn't sure when Raven went from someone he felt pity for, to someone he genuinely cared about.

Raven, on the other hand, was wondering if what they were starting (because they'd be stupid to not know that something was starting) was alright. Sure, she had heard the rumors. People already thought they were together, and they had said some terrible things about her. Almost two months have passed since Finn's death, and while she feels his loss every day, it has gotten easier. She doesn't feel empty anymore, and while she knows Murphy played an important part in that, she also knows that since Finn's death she has finally had the time to focus on exactly who she was. When he was alive, even after they broke up, he felt like a limb of her body. He was a part of who she was, and since he's been gone, she's focused on who she wants to be, and not who she has to be for anyone. Finn needed to be needed.

Murphy doesn't need anyone, but he wants her, and that is an alien thought.

"Raven!" Clarke called as she stood up from where she sat at the foot of Raven's tent.

"Clarke… I'm having a really good night. I don't want to fight." She tries to go around her to go inside. She really just did not want to deal with her.

But the blonde blocked her path with her arms crossed.

"Raven, we need to talk."

"We don't need to do anything."

"I'm worried about you, okay? And I know that you hate me for what I did to Finn but—"

"I don't hate you, Clarke. I just… I can't look at you." Raven sighed. "I can't look at you because every time I do it reminds me of the lengths I would have gone to save Finn. It reminds me that you were stronger than me and did what I would never be brave enough to do. Every time I see you Clarke… I just…" She sucked in a deep breath.

"I just need time." She said, when her emotions were in check.

"You can have all the time you need. But Raven, you are not weak." Clarke gave her one more once over with her eyes and turned to walk away.

"Sometimes I wonder if Finn had loved me more, would he still be alive?" Raven looked at the ground.

"Finn made mistakes Raven." Clarke took in a deep breath, blinking away the tears in her eyes. "But loving you was not one of them. Falling for me was the mistake."

"You can't help who you fall for."

"No, but we can help who it turns us into."

The two girls stood in silence for a few minutes. The camp was getting quieter as people turned in for the night. Wordlessly, they walked to the empty tables in the common area. There were a few people still there, talking and drinking, but it was mostly silent. Raven sat at a table while Clarke fetched them a few cups and some moonshine.

"How are you dealing?" Raven asked as Clarke handed her a metal mug.

"Terribly. I can still hear him thanking me as I…" She trailed off and took a long sip from her moonshine.

"You've been spending a lot of time with Bellamy…"

"And you've been spending a lot of time with Murphy. What's your point?"

"Do you feel like it's too soon?" Raven took a swig from her own cup, wincing at the burning it caused in her throat.

"Sometimes… But I also know that things can change down here in the blink of an eye. We're at peace with the grounders now, but we know how tentative that peace is. And on top of that, everything down here is dangerous. You could die by accidentally stepping on a poisonous insect, or by eating the wrong thing. I'm still grieving, but I'm not going to stop living. I could be dead tomorrow, and I don't want to die with regrets." Clarke bit her lip. "I don't want Bellamy to feel like I'm running into his arms because Finn's gone, you know."

"I know." Raven fixed her gaze on the metal table.

"But every situation is different. You and Murphy?"

"We're not together." Raven said quickly.

"No, not yet. I don't understand it, I'm sure no one does" Clarke snorted softly, "But I've seen the way he looks at you."

"And what way is that?"

"Like if an atomic bomb landed right here like it did a hundred years ago, he'd spend his last microseconds just looking at you."

"It's unnerving really." Clarke continued. "It's almost as if he's not a psycho." She raised her hands in surrender when Raven glared at her. "Kidding."

"It's not funny Clarke. He has less blood on his hands than most of us. He's not a psycho… He's just…"

"Broken?" Clarke offered.

"Aren't we all though?"

"Yeah, we are. But only some of us are lucky enough to find someone willing to stop picking up their broken pieces to pick up yours instead. But that's love, right?" Clarke downed the rest of her moonshine.

"No, that's not love." Raven swished the contents in her cup around. "That's comfort."

Clarke wiped a tear that spilled onto her cheek, and nodded.

"What Finn did wasn't love Clarke. What you did was." Raven said, her voice cracking. "I'm sorry that I've let you deal with this by yourself."

"Raven…" Clarke sobbed.

Raven got up and sat on her side of the bench and held her. She listened to her heaving sobs, and finally let herself do what she hadn't done since the night Finn died. She cried along with her, her tears from her face onto Clarke's hair.

They cried until they both felt a hand on their shoulders. Raven pulled away to see a concerned Bellamy, who asked her if she was okay with a single glance. She nodded and he scooped Clarke gently into his arms.

"Do you want me to get—"

"No, no. It's fine. He's sleeping. Take care of Clarke, I'm going to go."

Bellamy nodded and Raven squeezed Clarke's hand, which she returned.

They walked in the direction of the quarters inside Mecha station, and Raven walked the opposite way into the rows of tents. She stopped outside her tent, drying her tears so that if Octavia was awake she wouldn't freak out. But she wasn't there.

So Raven left her tent and made her way to Murphy's. She didn't feel like being alone tonight.

Once she arrived, she didn't bother announcing herself. She just walked in, sat on the edge of the cot and removed her jacket, boots and brace. She unbuttoned her jeans and slid them down her legs as a creaking in the cot let her know Murphy was awake. He took one look at her face before sliding over a bit to make room for her. She cocooned herself in the space of his chest and breathed a sigh of relief as he wrapped his arms around her.

Raven and Clarke needed to interact. It got really angsty, but they have a lot of problems to resolve.

Thanks for reading, I really appreciate all the support this story has gotten. It really keeps me writing. Also, title of this chapter comes from a song by Julia Stone, who I mostly listen to when I'm writing Murphy/Raven.

.xoxo