"Ladies, welcome to my sanctum." Hermione said throwing the doors of the Room of Requirement open with a flourish.
"Wow." Ginny said awestruck, gazing around the room. It was half a library and half a science laboratory.
"This is where I find my alone time away from Harry and Ron when they're being idiots, or just generally male. Come, sit down." Hermione led the chuckling girls to a corner of the library section where there were a few sofas and comfy chairs.
"Nice hideout." Parvati said, watching her twin peruse the bookshelves.
"What's this?" Pansy picked up an ornate silver hand mirror on the coffee table in front of the sofas.
"I call that the Spy Glass. It lets you zone in on anyone in the world and watch what they're doing at that moment. I invented it. I've made lots of things in here."
"That explains the lab. But why are we here?"
"Patience Alicia. You are here because we need my inventions. I don't only invent objects, I've also invented potions and spells. Some of them can be quite nasty. Let me ask you a question. What do you want to do to the boys?" Hermione smirked smugly.
"I want to make Draco go through a period, just once, so he knows how it feels." Pansy snarled.
"We all want that."
"Can we do that?" Hannah asked.
"Easy. I can even turn them into girls if you want. It's a simple take on the Polyjuice Potion. You just substitute a few ingredients. I can reveal their female persona. In other words, I could show you what they would be like if they were women. It's all quite easy once you know the essence of the potion or spell. That works for pretty much all potions and spells."
"You can turn them into girls?"
"Uh-huh. That and more." Hermione grinned.
"What spells have you got?" Luna asked eagerly.
"My favourite has to be the wedgie spell. A magical wedgie, is a lot more painful than a regular one. I can also make them believe they've been volunteered into the Death Eaters."
"How do you do that?" Pansy giggled.
"Simple. One night when they're asleep, I go into their dorm and conjure a temporary Dark Mark tattoo onto their arms. I then implant a dream wherein they are conscripted, which then wakes them up and then they get the fright of their lives when they see what they think is the mark on their arms." Hermione checked her nails casually. "It's a great one to do on Harry."
"Definitely. Anything else?"
"Oh plenty. I can dye their hair to any colour you want. I can render them unable to speak except in song. How does irremovable makeup sound? I can do that easy. Anything you want, I can equip you with."
"Can you fit us all with these?"
Hermione turned to Padma slowly. "If you want individual revenge plans, then I may be able to help you. First you have to tell me what you want to do to the boys, and then I'll see what I can do."
"What are you going to do about Ron?" Ginny said curiously.
"I thought I might give him a scare." She rose and crossed to the lab. Delicately she took a bottle from a shelf. "I also need a bridal magazine." The room provided a stack of them on the coffee table by the sofas. "Thank you. Now girls, I may need a little help with mine."
"What do you need?" Alicia said.
"Support." Hermione smirked in a most Malfoyish manner.
Meanwhile the boys were wondering where the girls had disappeared to.
"Did it work?" Dean said.
"Possibly. They've been staying away from us for a while. Hope it does work." Ron said stretching like a cat on the couch before the fireplace in Gryffindor common room.
"Me too. I can't stand them round valentines day." Harry moaned.
"I don't think anyone can." The Weasley twins said together.
"Where have they gone though?" Neville asked nervously.
"No idea mate, but this whole pre-emptive strike thing worked like a charm. Cho won't come near me for at least a week. I must remember to thank Michael Corner sometime." Dean snorted.
"I can't believe they all fell for it." Ron chuckled.
"Works every year." Harry smiled confidently.
A second later however the smile dropped from his face as the girls stormed into the common room sending the fiercest glares towards their boyfriends.
"Something tells me they know about it." Harry pointed out.
Hermione came in last and was sobbing. Ron rose and went to hug her but she shrugged him off bad temperedly.
"It's all right." Ginny gave her a hug which she accepted.
"How come you won't hug me?" Ron protested.
"Just let it go." Hermione replied quietly.
"No, I will not. Don't keep secrets from me."
"You do!" She fired back.
Ron went to fight back but the girls immediately blocked her and berated Ron for being so inconsiderate. They then fussed Hermione up to her dorm leaving some very puzzled boys.
The next morning Harry and Ron noticed Hermione piling her plate with scrambled eggs. They stared in horror as she wolfed them down and then piled the plate up again.
"Herm, what's going on?" Ron asked tentatively. She had been on edge all morning too.
"Yeah, you're eating like, Ron-sized portions. Is something wrong?" Harry gently laid his hand on her shoulder, only to have it shrugged off.
"You want to know what's wrong? I'm late."
"Well, I don't think overeating is going to make you be on time."
Hermione reached across the table and slapped her boyfriend round the face. Then she resumed eating.
"You don't understand, moron. When a girl says she's late it means she's missed her period." She said icily, watching their reactions with her head still glaring at her plate as though it had offended her.
Realisation hit Harry. His mouth dropped open. Ron, however, was still clueless.
"So? That's not a big deal." He said stupidly. Harry whispered what it meant in his ear. Whilst he was doing so, Hermione turned to where Luna was sitting nearby on the Ravenclaw table and winked.
Ron turned pale. He swallowed audibly. "It's not true is it?"
Hermione turned back and looked at him carefully. "No." she said softly. "Not yet. We'll know for sure in a month." She ceased eating and rubbed her lower belly.
"That long?"
"Just in case, we should probably bump the wedding up, shouldn't we?" Hermione said sweetly and casually.
Ron had just taken a sip of pumpkin juice which now sprayed all over her. As calmly as she could she cleaned it off, showing her revulsion.
"W-w-what wedding?"
"Ours." She replied simply. "I'm not having this baby out of wedlock. If it even is a baby. I- not again!" She clamped a hand over her mouth and looked nauseous. Shooting a panicked look at Ginny sitting next to her she got up and ran from the hall with Luna following closely. The boys watched them go in horror.
"You better take responsibility for this, bro. She's been sick every morning for the past month." Ginny said as she rose to follow.
Ron's head dropped onto the table, making his plate and cutlery clatter. "Life as I know it is over."
"Cheer up. She probably isn't pregnant." Harry rubbed his back comfortingly.
"I'm a Weasley. And in case you hadn't noticed, we tend to make a lot of babies." Ron snapped raising his head and rubbing his eyes.
Outside the hall the girls burst into giggles. "They fell for it!"
"You're a good actress, Hermione."
"Thanks Luna. Years of practice with those two idiots. Now, Luna why don't you run along to Madam Pomfrey and tell her the plan. Later I'll take him up for a test." She said 'test' with air inverted commas. Luna grinned and dashed off.
"You're really good at this."
"At what? Scaring my friends? I have to keep myself amused somehow." Hermione and Ginny had a little private giggle. "Now, the others should also be kicking off right about now too."
Ginny looked confused. Other than Hermione's payback she didn't know what the others had in store for their boyfriends. She herself was going to do the Dark Mark one on Harry. "What are the others doing?"
"Pansy's obviously giving her period to Malfoy. Luna wanted to steal Trevor and do horrible things to him to teach Neville a lesson, but I overruled her."
"Good plan. So what's she doing to him?"
"I gave her a spell that should stop his speech and make him sing everything. He can't hold a tune to save his life so, it should be good." She laughed. "If it fails I gave her one that makes him say one phrase, of her choice, only and he won't know what he's saying either. To him he'll think he's talking normally, when he'll actually be repeating a very embarrassing phrase."
"Nice."