Hey guys,

here another chapter I hope you love it, sorry for the language mistakes

4.

I hated intrusiveness in general, touching certain topics put me greatly uncomfortable, but I knew I didn't have to show weakness or would be the end. It was one of the "rules" that I had set to face the environment to which I belonged. A vulnerability was simple enough to be on everyone's lips and compromising those "privileges" that I had. Concretely? I walked continuously suspended on a wire, I had most of the times to cope with shocks of various kinds and resolve awkward situations often caused by Conrad. Set aside what happened and move on, I repeated this to myself like a mantra every day that passed by. I carefully hid my demons, I wouldn't have allowed anyone to dig into the past that I was jealously guarding.

I sipped the tea intent to smile at guests, my eyes met my husband insistent ones. He was still near the stairs in the exact same pose of a few moments ago. The contact was interrupted by the ringing of his phone. He answered without taking his eyes off me, indeed he smiled winking annoyingly. I lifted my eyes in disgust and went back to sit down.

The advantage of being a woman of thickness? People around you perceive instantly the exact moment in which must truncate a topic of discussion. I think they're going to continue to ask me questions about the relationship I had with Conrad. If I thought to that damn question, God I would have pulverized Clarissa. The arrogant smile of my husband was a whole program, so pleasantly amused for embarrassment I felt. Once again I couldn't react as I wanted, "we were falsely married".

I dismissed the guests reminding them don't miss the party tonight.

"We spent a wonderful afternoon Victoria, we won't miss it" said one on behalf of all.

I turned them a false smile and I expected them to go away.

When I was alone, I let go a deep sigh and looked around. The room was flooded with the vanilla scent and the intense fragrance of roses. I walked slowly towards a planter as enchanted by the arrangement of the petals of a central rose. She stood up to towering over the others, so beautiful, so perfect, so fragile. I touched the petals and I felt myself as transported. I held my breath and I saw my life in an instant, I had a shock to the heart so strong that I lost a beat.

"I knew that you would have liked them" the words were followed by the trampling of the soles of his leather shoes.

"Don't kid yourself Conrad, I still feel disgust for you" I was lapidary.

"Your words have hurt me, my dear" he murmured quizzically, leaning a hand on his chest.

I pressed my lips in silence.

"What do you want?" I took a few steps in his direction.

He just smiled at least initially, soon after he walked slowly and leaned over me just to whisper "a truce" pushing a strand of my hair.

I had enough, I looked annoyed at him and went over, but his hand grabbed me by the wrist forcing me to turn around to face him again.

"You agreed If I remember correctly, why don't you try to make an effort Victoria?" focusing his eyes on mine.

I handed him the same glance, "You know perfectly well why I agreed".

"Why don't you tell me?" he deliberately stimulated me. This was the kind of "game" that he made, pressure after pressure he would lead me to a point of no return. I still didn't understand what were his real intentions, but I couldn't afford mistakes.

I gave him a cynical smile, while I freed myself from his grip and slowly walked away without saying anything.

I put my hands on the marble of the balcony, now cold for the evening air. I was intently watching somewhere in the expanse of dark water. In silence I could hear the sound of the waves crashing on the sand. It took shape in my mind the memories of the moments that I had lived with David. The afternoons spent on the shore to make plans for the future. It all seemed so real, so live in my eyes for a moment that I thought I heard his arms around my waist. I told myself that this was the life I had chosen and I had to accept it, I told myself that I had to stand up for my children and that I would have put an end to this marriage at any cost.

"Mrs. Grayson, her husband sent us to call for helping you and left said that the guests will be here soon" said the maid followed by two other women, they were waiting for me in the other room.

I closed the windows of the dome coming back into the bedroom with hope to leave out all the regrets. I sighed quietly, I didn't want to attract attention. I have to think about the party and find a way to contain the crisis. I was sure of the impending disaster, Conrad wasn't able to handle a situation like this. I couldn't hide to be prey to the grip of anxiety, it happened systematically before each event that I organized and now more intense because the stake was high.

I took a look to the dress, it was leaning next to a long antiqued gold mirror, I touched again the thin fabric covered with crystals, I was totally captivated by its beauty. I had worn so many dresses, I wasn't particularly fond of anyone, but this was different. I felt so hopelessly fascinated. The bitter awareness returned immediately to pervade me, he was manipulating me yet.

In the reflection I noticed behind me, resting on the bedspread, a pearl gray velvet case. It had on the top a little card.

I thought you'd appreciate that touch

Conrad

I stood breathless for a moment at the sight of the diamonds cocker, each stone beautifully set in a unique geometric floral motif. I had a soft spot for diamonds and he knew it well, he hadn't stopped to "buy myself" to be forgiven.

I wore the dress, I chose wavy hair, a light make-up and a red Dior for my lips. Once ready, I looked to myself in the mirror, a shiver ran down my spine as soon as the cocker came into contact with my skin, my lips were hatched.

Even his gesture confirmed my theories, his end was very different from which he gave to see.