A/N
Hey All! OMG! Thank you so much for all the reviews! They make me soooooo HAPPY!
Sorry it took me so long, but I actually did some research for this chapter and it's a really Long chapter so yea… That as well as the fact I had to do the research paper that you have to do in 11th grade to graduate and guess what… I PASSED! Sorry, I am a little excited, if you couldn't tell :) well, back to what I was saying about reviews…
YAY! More cookies for y'all! Thank you so much, and YES I AM SMILING! lol Ok, well I'll stop talking now…
ANOUNCEMENT! I am changing the rating for this fic to R since I think it has some serious themes, If you can not handle Angst, Small doses of self mutilation, or abuse, then you shouldn't read this, if you can, than read ahead because I promise that it will resolve itself in the end! And btw CUTTING IS BAD, DON'T DO IT!
Disclaimer: I do not own Jimmy Neutron…just this twisted version of events and I don't own Usher! But I wish I did lol! Chapter 3: Broken Dates and InsecuritiesJimmy
The rain came down apathetically on the streets of Retroville, cumulonimbus clouds wringing out whatever H2O molecules that were left from the down pour yesterday.
It's been a week since Carl and Sheen left for the summer.
Mom finally let me leave the house to go to my lab, I've been dying to get in there ever since I woke up at the hospital for the first time. I've been going crazy without my lab, just Goddard, Mom, and…Dad for company.
"Jimmy, lunch is ready!" I looked up at the surveillance camera to see my mom was standing there with a tuna cheese sandwich and a glass of milk.
"Coming!" I yelled back through the microphone. I got up slowly from my chair, and moved to where my mother was standing with the tray of food.
"Thanks mom."
"Of course, I can't let you work on an empty stomach now can I?" She chuckled lightly and it was like old times, before we knew, before dad started getting angry, before my failure…
She had been diagnosed with Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis. Basically her nervous system was failing her. Gradually she'll lose her ability to function properly in many ways, and it was my job to fix it.
It was after she was clinically diagnosed with MS that Dad started losing it. He went out drinking almost every night, and for some reason always felt the need to blame me for everything that was wrong.
But what I remember most was the night we brought Mom home from being diagnosed. He came to me, placing trust in my abilities. He had had such confidence in me back then.
He had come up with a simple plan. I would find a cure for Multiple Sclerosis. At first, I thought it was a great idea. I believed I could do it, that I could find a cure for my Mother's disease. But after many, many failures, I began to doubt, doubt myself, doubt that I was a genius at all.
"What kind of genius am I if I can't cure my own mother?" I would ask myself that question every night before I fell asleep, and pretty soon I fell into a tedious schedule that included working all night on a cure, tending to my bruises and cuts, while going to school during the day, receiving 1 hour's sleep tops. I would go without food for days, trying to make my father happy, who had started getting angry with me after my first failure. I yearned so badly of his approval again, and I would do anything to get it back. All the while my mother was out buying spectacles, as well as slight limp being added to her step.
I began drifting away from my friends, they all meant well, and they cared, but I didn't have time to go out with friends, I had to get Dad's approval back, somehow.
But thinking back, there was one person that had always distracted me, Cindy Vortex. Whether I was cutting my hair to get her to notice me, or staring blankly at her puffy pink nail polish during Chemistry class. Whatever it was, she always captivated me, making me forget about everything, and just focus on her.
That's probably why I was so crushed when she started dating Nick. That's when I dove completely into my research for a cure. I came to school only on days of the major tests, there was no other reason to go. This made Dad happy, I think, it was hard to tell when his boot was in my gut. But one day, while Dad was at work, and Mom was especially fatigued, something happened.
My body couldn't take the abuse I had put it through, I hadn't eaten for, I think it may have been a week, but I'm not sure, and I hadn't slept as long as an hour in the same period of time. Anyway, while I was injecting a possible cure into a lab rat, I collapsed injecting myself with the liquid instead.
My mother found me when I didn't answer her when she said for me to go to bed. She called 911 and I was rushed to the hospital.
It wasn't till about 2 weeks later while Father was especially angry with me, that we found out that from the injection that I received instead of the rat, I had given myself a sickness that has never been witnessed before in the history of man.
After many, many tests it was found that the Hormones and Adrenaline in my body grew to an abnormal proportion and began attacking my immune system in times of extreme or even small amounts of stress.
In Laments Terms, I become physically and violently ill when I get really stressed or 'emotional'. With symptoms that if I'm not calmed quickly, I could die from.
Now I have to go to a therapist every so often, that I tell absolutely nothing to, but it makes Mother feel better. But now Mom worries even more about me, which pisses Dad off to no end. I have come to the conclusion that he hates me because I still haven't come up with a cure. In his eyes I'm a failure and even though I know it's true, and that I deserve what comes to me, it still hurts deep down and I wish I could be the son he wants me to be. I don't want to be a disappointment anymore.
It's like I received an F on an exam and it went on my permanent record, it'll never go away, but maybe I can slightly cover it up with the A I'll receive for finding a cure.
Cindy
What a day, it was cloudy and rainy just like the day before, except it was like the sky had gotten bored and was only giving it half an effort.
Libby left to follow her favorite singer Usher yesterday.
I stared up at the stark white ceiling above my bed for a few minutes. Holding up my arms to stretch, my eyes reverted to two cross marked slits on my forearm; I pulled down my crumpled sleeve and sighed. 'I deserved it.'
I shook my hair free of bed time tangles and sprang up on my bed.
Looking out the window I saw a familiar woman with an 80's hairstyle walking away from the well known club house in her backyard.
"I wonder what Jimmy's up to…" I questioned the pink sponge-painted walls, fully
aware I wasn't going to receive an answer. Deciding to check up on the mop headed geek I hopped into the shower.
After I had gotten out of the shower and the steam had lifted from the mirror, I could clearly see my reflection.
"Disgusting" That word floated, thick like the steam that choked the air out of me.
I couldn't stand my reflection, everything about it sucked ass, my hair wasn't quite the right shade of blonde, my face had yet another blemish, and to boot I was as big as a balloon!
Nick had showed me that, I can't believe I didn't see it before, but now…it's just so clear. I had never been one of those girls that constantly thought they were ugly, though I didn't think I was perfect either, but Nick had opened my eyes, to see the true me, the me that I saw in the mirror now.
I slipped on a pair of blue jeans and my lifeguard jacket from my job at the community pool down the street; that way I could easily say I was stopping by on my way to work.
I arrived at the door of the club house where I was met by Vox.
"State your name please." The mechanical voice came as a hallow echo.
"Cindy Vortex."
"Access Denied, please wait a moment for permission to enter." I tapped my foot
impatiently, knowing Jimmy could see me through his camera.
"Hey Cindy, what are you doing here?" It was Jimmy, he was watching me through the
tiny video camera to my left.
"Could we hurry this up Neutron, I'm on my way to work, just let me in already."
"Uh, uh, uh, ok come in." I heard him shuffle around before the ground beneath me collapsed. I landed on a soft cushy pillow at the bottom of the slide.
"You still use that entrance?" I asked, looking around for the whereabouts of the boy genius.
"Of course I do, but uh, not lately." I turned towards the sound of his voice and found he was right in front of me, his good hand outstretched for me to take. I got up on my own and looked around.
"So what do I owe this unexpected visit?" I watched him as he clumsily put his hand in his pocket like he hadn't meant it for me at all.
"I uh, was on my way to work up at Retroville pool and was just uh, seeing how you were doing is all, not that I care, or anything, Libby wanted to know."
"Oh, well uh, you can tell Libby I'm fine, now if that's all I have a lot of work to do…" He turned away from me, his hair seemed to be in knots, all tangled and disheveled like he hadn't washed it in a while. I glanced around and realized the enormous amount of rats that were there, but dismissed it.
"Jim, don't take it the wrong way, I did want to know how you were doing too. But uh, I'm in a hurry, so I guess I'll be…" I turned toward the door and was about to walk out when I felt a hand grab my wrist, I winced in voluntarily, but turned.
"Wait, uh, Cindy, I was wondering…since Libby, Sheen, and Carl are gone for the summer, would you like to uh, do stuff sometime?"
I looked him in the eyes for the first time since I entered the Lab and saw deep bags under his eyes, like he hadn't had a good night's sleep in awhile. I also noticed he had grown, that was for sure, in height, and undoubtedly wisdom, but his eyes were Jimmy's from back when we were young, the same ice blue, but now…they held something more, something that made me want to save him, but I couldn't put my finger on just whatthat something was.
He looked away and I could tell he was blushing. He had let go of my wrist moments ago and was now opening the door for me even though he wasn't looking in that direction. It seemed to anyone outside the conversation that Jimmy had suddenly found a great interest in the cast on his arm.
"Sorry, that was stupid, of course you don-"
"Sure" I interrupted him before he finished what I knew he was going to say.
He looked up at me.
"W-What did you say?"
"I said sure, I mean, why not? We're friends right? Oh, I know, that new Jet Fusion Movie is coming out this Friday, wanna go see it?"
"Y-Yeah, we are, so, ok, I'll see you Friday then."
I couldn't help but giggle at his clumsy attempt at words. "Well, bye."
"Bye." He managed to grunt out.
I was outside before I knew what I had done.
"I'm going on a date with Neutron?" I didn't know what to think at first. It was like my brain had melted and drained out my nose, but then I thought about it more and more and realized it might not be so bad.
I went home, not actually having to go to work and on my way I waved to Mrs. Neutron, which I realized had gotten a pair of new glasses, and on further inspection I realized she was limping.
"She must have twisted her ankle or something" I said quietly dismissing any further thought into the subject.
Friday
Jimmy
What to wear…What to wear… Everything I have is crap…Oh God I'm turning into a female! Ok, Calm down Jimmy, Get a hold of yourself, I'm just going to see a movie with my friend Cindy. Who I've secretly loved since I was 10. Oh God, this is going to be a disaster…maybe I should call her and tell her I'm sick…No…no, I can handle this, it'll be alright.
I finally decided on a black T-Shirt and a pair of jeans. I checked myself in the mirror, staring at the cast still plastered to my arm, and combed my fingers through my hair,
Yep, this is as good as its gunna get.
I grabbed my wallet off my dresser on the way out the door.
"Bye Mom, I'll be back after the movie." I said as I reached the bottom of the stairs. She turned toward me from her sitting position on the couch. She began to stand but quickly fell back to the couch.
"Mom! Are you alright?"
"I'm fine; I just got a little light headed is all." She closed her eyes and began rubbing her temples with her finger tips.
I Picked up the telephone and began dialing Cindy's house, but Mom stopped me.
"Who are you calling?" She asked her hand clasped to my wrist.
"Cindy." I whispered, but as the phone started ringing I felt the phone slip from my fingers. I looked up and Mother had hung it up.
"Jimmy, I'm fine, you need to get out. I've been worried about you lately, always stuffed up in your lab, rarely seeing daylight. You're a teenage boy, not a lab rat, you need to have fun once in awhile."
"But Mom…"
"Jimmy, honestly, I'm perfectly ok, go out and have a good time with Cindy, judging by that cologne your wearing I would say that you like Cindy…but you always have, haven't you?"
I could feel my face growing hot with my mother's words.
"O-of course not, Mom it's not like that, Cindy and I are friends…"
"Ok, well anyway, you get going, Cindy will start to wonder where you are." She smiled and after I had gotten her something to drink and a pillow, I left. I felt bad for leaving but she wouldn't hear of me staying home.
Walking down the driveway I recognized a familiar pair of headlights coming at me. I jumped out of the way, avoiding my father's beamer. He had bought it as a way to escape, a red BMW Z4, the perfect car for any man going through a mid-life-crisis or, just a general crisis in this case.
"What are you doing out so late, where do you plan on going, leaving your mother to fend for herself?" He hissed stepping out of the car.
I backed away from him knowing the familiar stench of booze hot on his tongue. He stumbled toward me grabbing my casted arm and shaking me. I cringed and fell backwards over my own feet.
"I was just going out with Cindy…" He didn't let me finish before dragging me by the mentioned arm to my lab.
"That Trash, why are you even talking to her when you're supposed too be making a cure for your mother? What's more important? Your mother's life or some summer fling?" I could feel him grab my hair and pull a tuft out to open the lab. I bit my lip, muffling a cry.
"I-I'm sorry Dad, please forgive me." I couldn't hold back the hot salty liquid streaming from my eyes. Every bone in my arm felt like it was breaking a new as he flung me into the lab. I fell to the ground just inside the door.
"You think that'll make up for it? For all your failures, you stupid piece of shit? What kind of genius are you that you can't even come up with a cure for your mother!" I was blinded by pain as a boot collided with my already shattered rib cage. I screamed, knowing no one would come to my rescue, whether they heard me or not.
"Please D-Dad, I'm sorry…really, I-I'll b-be better…please." I struggled to get up, sitting up to realize the boot in my jaw. After that I felt the metallic taste of blood in the back of my throat and all went black.
Cindy
At 9 o' clock I gave up all hope that Jimmy was coming over.
"What was I thinking? He thinks I'm ugly too, even Neutron thinks I'm ugly…" Tears leaked from my mascara thick lashes. I pulled out a draw from my cabinet a stared at the serrated edge of the blade.
"I deserve this; it's my own fault…my own fault." Crimson dripped splashing the white sink with the red liquid. I blinked back tears as I put my savior back in it's drawer.
Sighing, I stared back down at my new scars, and the old ones.
My eyes began to leak tears once again as I shuffled to my bed. I curled up under the covers and let tears flow freely onto the pillow.
"Even Neutron thinks I'm ugly."
Saturday Morning
I found myself standing in front of the door to Jimmy's Lab. I was again greeted by the robotic voice known as Vox.
"State your name please." I wasn't sure whether to answer it, or run away. I was afraid of why Jimmy hadn't come last night, restless slumber and nightmares had me up all night thinking of why he hadn't come…and one of them I was to afraid to admit was the truth.
"He hates me." I said it out loud knowing there wasn't another reason. If he had forgotten than that meant he didn't care enough to come. Or maybe I'm blowing this out of proportion, maybe he just lost track of time, it's not like we were actually going on a date, it was just going to the movie with a friend…
"State your name please." Vox asked once again.
"Cindy Vortex."
"Please come in Cindy." I blinked several times, Vox had never let me in without Jimmy first allowing it…had he changed the settings on Vox to let me in? But before I could think another thought I was dropped down on to the couch once again.
"Jimmy?" I called him, knowing he was there, since Vox wouldn't be on without him being in there.
"Jimmy?" He didn't answer which made me worry slightly, what if he had had an accident in his lab and that's why he didn't come last night.
I stood up from the couch. Soon after I found Goddard was at my side whimpering.
"Where's Jimmy?" I asked, and by what I could tell by Goddard's expression, something had happened to him. The mechanical dog pulled at my sleeve in order to get me to follow.
"Show me where he is boy."
Goddard led me down a hallway and opened a sliding door before stopping. The Mechanical dog turned to me and his green screen popped up with the words;
"Don't let him know you're here."
I began to ask why but Goddard shook his head and came up with the words
"Be Quiet, He'll hear you." Goddard turned from me once more and opened another door, but it looked to be one way glass into Jimmy's room, actually, it was Jimmy's mirror in his bathroom. I muffled a gasp as I looked at Jimmy.
It looked like his jaw was broken as well as a swollen black eye.
So he got into an accident in his lab. Well at least he didn't just ditch me. With that conclusion made I left the front of the mirror and walked back down the hall, despite the metallic dog's protests. I had a mission to get Jimmy, he wasn't gunna here the end of this one.
Jimmy
"Why do you hate me so much?"
I found myself in bed last night for the millionth time. I went to the bathroom and found my jaw was contorted and bruised, looking as if it had been shattered, I would have to X-ray that later, as well as get Goddard to repair the metal plate in my chest. I could feel the unconformities through my skin since my Dad had mangled the plate they had put in my chest so that my ribs would heal correctly.
"Why do you hate me so much?" Fresh tears slid from my swollen eyes.
I couldn't escape the inevitable choking on my own blood; the hot liquid now coating my palm.
I tried to muffle gagging as I spit crimson in to the porcelain toilet.
I could feel my whole body freeze and shut down as each beat of heart popped from my chest.
"Cindy probably hates me now too." I began coughing again and I my head spun around the stark white walls and tile.
"I'll have to apologize for not coming over, but what'll I tell her about this?"
"I guess I'll tell her I had an accident in the lab and that's why I couldn't make it"
I heard Goddard scratching outside the door and opened it. He whimpered and I smiled.
"Hey boy, is Dad still asleep?"
A/N Wahoo! Finally! Please tell me what you think, I know I'm really late getting this out and I'm sorry, but I've had a lot of stuff to do. Um, I know this is getting really depressing, but this is an Angst fic don't forget, but actually I think I might just be planning a nice fluffy date with Cindy and Jimmy for next chapter, so don't get to depressed!
Oh, and cutting is bad so DON'T DO IT…yeah, that's all Cindy will figure that out later!
Review and make an author smile!