Hi everyone! I'm back with the next chapter of ways to torment our (my) favorite Uchiha. I know I'm getting lazy about writing these things…please, don't be too harsh on me if this truly sucks. I'm going to take a chance and bring in a few other characters into this so, bear with me. Sorry if the names confuse you. It makes it so much easier for me if people have names. They're more for my benefit than yours and They probably won't appear after #13…except maybe for Kohana. Well… Here goes something…

#13: Train bunnies to attack him!

Rizu grumbled angrily to herself as she carried the huge rabbit down the steps. Her four brothers were already waiting for her at the bottom of the stairway. They were holding two rabbits in each of their arms. The soft creatures' big eyes and pure white fur said 'innocent angel'. Yeah, right. These bunnies were specially trained to rip people to shreds on command. These bloodthirsty rodents belonged to her younger sister, Kohana. Unfortunately, Kohana was not home at the time so; Rizu, Ryuichi, Yasuo, Taku, and Kanaye were left to deal with them. Ryuichi, the oldest of the 5, sighed softly.

"I say we kill something with them! While Kohana is out, once in a lifetime chance here!" Kanaye told his siblings. Taku brought a fist to his little brother's head.

"Baka, Kohana will kill you for messing with her rabbits." Yasuo, being the peacemaker of the group, put his arm between his brothers before they decided to drop the rabbits and make each other into confetti.

"Come on. We promised Kohana-Chan that we would train her rabbits while she's away. Let's not kill each other in the process."

"Anyone have an idea where train them?" Ryuichi asked. His blue eyes glanced from face to face until Rizu spoke.

"I know a place…but it would get us pummeled, more likely than not." Her brothers shrugged. Well, best as they could with squirming bunnies in their arms.

"Who cares, let's just get this stupid task over with!" Kanaye said defiantly. Rizu rolled her eyes at the boy. He was two years her junior, but thought her could take on an army of ANBU. Without another word, the girl led her brothers to Itachi's house.

Knock. Knock. Knock. "Yes?" Itachi answered. They must have woken him up. His hair was sticking up every which way and he was only wearing a pair of boxers with kunai print. Rizu recognized them as the ones she got him for Christmas once. He looked at his best friend and tried to stifle a yawn. "Rizu-sama…its you…." He mumbled and turned away to walk back into his house, giving the silent OK for them to follow. Rizu's brothers put the bunnies down on the floor. Itachi was sitting on the couch with Rizu, sipping some tea absentmindedly. His left arm was slung around the couch above Rizu's shoulders. Kanaye started to get impatient. 'Come on! Come on! Rizu-nee-Chan! Give the signal!' Just then, Rizu's middle and pointer finger twitched so that only Taku caught it.

"Iku." Taku said softly. The bunnies flew into a rage, chewing everything in their path. Everything included Itachi. He screamed.

After two minutes of Itachi fighting off little white demonic bunnies, Ryuichi mumbled an "Ii…tomete." The bunnies hopped happily back to Rizu and her siblings. Itachi sat twitching on the floor. His body was covered in scratch marks and tiny bleeding bites. Yasuo, Ryuichi, Kanaye, and Taku left, homeward bound and called for Rizu to follow. She did, glancing one last time at Itachi. Later, she came back with a first aid kit and forced him to stay still while cleaning his wounds. After about a million apologies, Rizu told Itachi to get dressed and come over for pizza.

#14: Put him up for sale on Ebay!

Rizu helped Itachi limp through the door of the house she shared with Kohana and her brothers. Kohana was sitting on Rizu's bed, reading a purple and black book. Her face was amused, almost on the edge of laughter. Not that it wasn't strange enough that Kohana was in Rizu's room, but that book she was holding…happened to be Rizu's diary. Rizu's face heated up and Itachi took a few limps away. Kohana looked up at her elder sister quizzically. "Wow, Rizu-nee-chan…I didn't know you felt that way about Deidara-san!" Rizu blushed. Itachi's face paled, yet darkened at the same time.

"What did she say?" He asked Kohana sharply.

"Nothing. It's time for Kohana to get out of Rizu's room. Good-bye." Rizu said as she quickly plucked the book from Kohana's hands and shoved her out the door. The girl rubbed the back of her neck shyly. "Sorry 'bout that." She waited and counted down the seconds in her head…'5…4…3…2…1…'

"WHAT DID SHE MEAN ABOUT YOU AND DEIDARA? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? THAT'S DISGUSTING! THE GUY HAS MOUTHS IN HIS HANDS! HOW COULD YOU LIKE SOMEONE LIKE THAT!? YOU ARE SO CRUEL JUST LEADING ME ON LIKE THAT! NOW I KNOW WHY EMOTIONS ARE STUPID! I FINALLY UNDERSTAND MY OWN WORDS NOW! I-" Rizu cut off his rant by pushing her fingers to his lips and glaring. When he was quiet, she sat at her computer desk and calmly told him to go get some pizza before it was gone. While he was eating pizza with her brothers, she decided to make him pay for his outburst…

Item up for bid: Uchiha Itachi.

Starting price: $25000

Rizu sat on her bed and read Eclipse until Itachi came back. He was still looking sulky; she couldn't wait to tell him he was for sale…

"You did WHAT?"

"I put you up for sale on Ebay. Have a problem with that?"

"Yes, in fact, I do have a problem with that." Itachi pouted.

"Hm, well, it doesn't matter anymore 'cuz you just got sold and I just got $55,000!"

"You seriously want me to go?" His voice quivered as he spoke. She looked at him emotionlessly. The Uchihas' murderer's face mirrored Rizu's expression.

"Fine." He spit out. He left, slamming the door as he left. Rizu smiled smugly to herself. 'He has no idea…'

Itachi was just shutting himself into a box to be carried to God-knows-where to his new 'owner'. The delivery guy was really dorky. HUGE THICK glasses, a pocket protector with multiple pens sticking out, and a nasally voice. He put Itachi in his truck and after what seemed like hours, let him out at some weird cabin. The box was given to someone. It was a male by the sound of it. The box opened, letting the light come flooding in and blinding Itachi for a moment. Itachi sat up and looked around. Beside the box a guy sat on a chair glaring at him. The room was huge. Probably double the size of his and Kisame's room at the base. Itachi looked at the boy, "Who are you?"

"Sai." He answered curtly. It really sounded more like a growl.

"Um…ok…why am I here?"

"Because…Rizu-chan asked me to make you learn a lesson…but I don't feel like it! Go home!" With that, Itachi got out of the box and left.

#15: Sell his baby pictures to the rest of the Akatsuki members!

"Hey, Rizu-sama? Do you have any idea where all the baby pictures from my album are?" Rizu looked up from her spot on the floor.

"Uh-huh, Kisame has them…come to think of it I saw Deidara-kun with some too…and Sasori…and Tobi…Pein…Konan-sama…Kakazu…Zetsu…" Fuming, Itachi stalked off to find said people and when those above-named people started screaming for mercy…Rizu just laughed evilly. And then she counted the cash she made from selling the potentially embarrassing pictures to the poor suckers. Then she laughed like a deranged maniac some more.

#16: Tell him Sasuke's chicken-butt hairstyle is cooler than his.

"You need a new hairstyle…" Rizu grumbled pulling on a jacket while Itachi looked in the mirror.

"You really think so?" He asked uncertainly. Rizu nodded. Her hair was gathered into a neat ponytail on the side of her head, making her look like she was 10 again, instead of 16. Itachi fingered the ends of his short hair, (If you remember #1, Rizu cut it.) indecisive. He shook his head.

"No. I've come to like my hair this way."

Rizu snorted and rolled her florescent blue eyes at him, "Oh, please, Itachi-kun! Your little brother has a chicken's butt for hair and it's still cooler than your style!" Itachi froze.

'Oh no. She did not just say what I think she said…Sasuke's hair is so not cooler than mine!'

"Itachi-kun…I could help you look cooler than Sasuke…" Against his better judgment, Itachi said "OK"…

#17: Dye his hair blonde and draw whiskers on him!

"Can I open my eyes yet?"

"One more thing…OK, now." Itachi cracked open his red eyes and looked into the mirror in front of him. Blonde…whiskers drawn on…oh. Crap. He looked like Naruto!

"Rizu! I thought you said you'd make me look cool! Not like a dead last!" He yelled. Rizu huffed and he regretted yelling and began to feel guilty. She turned her back to him and crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'm sorry, Rizu-sama. It doesn't look that bad. Forgive me?" He asked placing a hand on her shoulder. She turned to face him.

"Well…I'm done sulking. You're forgiven, but just one more thing…"

#18: Laugh yourself silly at him!

"HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAHHHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAROFLHAHAHAHHAHHALMAOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHLOLAHAHAHAHAHHHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAROFLMOAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!" Itachi just stood there while she laughed. She only stopped after her face turned blue and she couldn't breathe. "OK, I'm done." Rizu breathed out. Itachi gave her a look that clearly said 'You're Crazy, I'm Tired, Good-Night' and left to sleep.

All right…well, there's the third chapter and I hope it didn't suck that badly. (Though, it probably did.) Hope you enjoyed. Oh, and I'd like to thank x-Orange.Neko-x for letting me use her list. I can't thank you enough, Neko-chan! I have a lot of fun writing these. I like to imagine the scenes in my head. I tried to make it funny, but I'm tired and the humor just isn't flowing as easily. As always, I accept ALL reviews! So, please don't hesitate to tell me what you think of this. I don't mind flames; they're really quite funny sometimes.

Lotsa love,

TeardropsOfAnAngel (Lizzy)