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Apov
After leaving the restaurant I decide to walk around and clear my head. I don't know what to make of my encounter with Everyone. If they thought for one second I would jump up and down with joy after how they treated me, they're obviously delusional. I don't feel the need to rekindle my friendship, I fly back to Savannah Sunday so I won't have to be bothered with the ghost of my past life.
I walk the streets of Seattle with no real destiny, it's almost ten at night but I'm restless. Deep down I know I should let go of this anger I feel, but I refuse to. They made me out to be some selfish bitch that purposely put the man she loved in danger. I guess I shouldn't say I loved Christian as if it's past tense. I still love Christian, but whether or not he still loves me is the question. He obviously moved on.
I wonder if him and Ashley are married or even engaged. Either way I know they're together. Feeling the overwhelming need to lay down I head back to my hotel. I walk through the lobby and head to the elevator not paying attention to much, but I feel eyes on me. I never feel as though I'm being watched in Savannah, but the minute I step foot in Seattle I feel like eyes are all over me.
As the elevator comes to a stop at my floor, my nerves stand on edge. Stepping off the elevator I'm not at all surprised by what I see. Christian is leaning against my hotel room door. With a heavy sigh I walk towards him, mentally preparing myself for the hurricane that is Christian Grey.
"Can I help you with something Christian?" I keep my voice even and flat, I have to stay calm.
"Where have you been?"The nerve. As if he didn't just have Ashley hanging all over him.
"Not that it's any of your business, but I went for a walk." I move him out the way to unlock the door.
"So are you going to tell me why you left?" I guess he's getting straight to the point. Of course he doesn't know why I left, Mia and Elliot would never tell him the truth.
"Christian, it's late. I have a early morning and I rather not do this right now."
"You rather not do this? I think I have the right to know why you left. After we fought so hard to be together, you owe me that much" His voice is laced with anger and hurt. But mostly anger. I might as well settle in for a long night.
"Okay. Let me change out of these clothes first." I open the door wider to let him in.
I head in the room, while Christian take s a seat in the living room area. I put on a pair of sweats and a camisole before I head out to talk. I take a seat across from him, not quite sure how this conversation is going to go.
"So, are you going to tell me why you felt the need to move all the way to Savannah, without so much as a good bye." Of course he would know where I moved to. But if he knew where I was, why didn't he ever come to Savannah.
"Christian, you weren't safe with me around. That night you were in the hospital made that painfully clear." I've learned to numb myself to the situation a long time ago, if I hadn't I'm sure I would have become an emotional wreck.
"So you couldn't even make sure I was OK first?"
"I'm sorry Christian, but I stand by my decision to protect you" I can literally see the moment Christian loses it.
"Who the fuck are you? You can't possibly be the same Ana. The Anastasia I knew would never have left. She would never stay away for two years without contacting someone. And yet you sit before me as if you couldn't care less." I care, I just hide it well.
"I can assure you I'm the same person, I've just learned not to cry over spilled milk. Yes, I wanted to be with you but with someone trying to kill you because of me, I don't see how that would have been possible. So I moved away and started over." I shrug my shoulders, After two years I no longer feel the pain I felt when I first left.
"So you never stopped to think about me, or Kate and Mia for that matter? They're your best friends and you never even tried to call and let them know you were safe." I close my eyes and count to ten. I'm barely keeping my temper under wraps and he wants to yell at me about my so called friends.
"Christian, I think you should sit down with YOUR friends and family and have a really serious talk about how they felt about us being together." His brow furrows in confusion. "Now, if you wouldn't mind I'll like to get some rest." He understands that I no longer want to have this conversation and walks to the door. Before he exits my room he turns around and says his final words.
"I've really missed you freshman, I don't know why you're like this but I can see the old Ana in there somewhere, and I know she missed me to." I don't say a word as he leaves. Maybe he's right, maybe I'm still the same girl that was head over hills in love with him. It doesn't matter though, too much time has past for us to just ignore it. I climb in bed and dream of a huge house on the sound.
Cpov
As I lie in my bed I think about my talk with Ana last night. She seemed like she couldn't care less about the fact that we all missed her. I know it wasn't the easiest time for us back then, but we could have made it work. I would have done everything possible to protect her. I guess she did what she thought was best, still I can't accept that. She left me... while I was in a hospital getting surgery, she left me.
I woke up to everyone I cared for except her. Mia said Ana did it for the best, Elliot said I should just focus on getting better, So I did just that. It was hard and stressful but I pulled through with the help of Ashley. She took care of me and nursed me back to the man I once was. I never stopped looking for the person that tried to kill me, but it was never another attack. Taylor stays on it but every lead we had was a dead end. So slowly but surely my life went back to normal, minus a certain blue eyed beauty.
I wonder what Ana meant by ask my family how they felt about us being together. Everyone loved Ana. Still I guess I can ask them at breakfast once I get to Bellevue. I look at the clock on my bed side table and see it's almost seven o'clock. Ashley is still fast asleep next to me, I slowly get out of bed trying my best not to wake her and head into the shower. She has to work a double shift at the hospital so she won't be able to come. Twenty minutes later I'm out the shower and looking for something to wear. I feel Ashley wrap her arms around my mid section and soft kisses on my back.
"Good morning." She's runs her hands over my stomach.
"Good morning." I kiss her forehead before leaving the closet, she follows behind. "I'm in a rush so I can't take you to work, is that ok?" She nods her head as if she understands. I can tell something is bothering her "Ashley, what's wrong?"
"Nothing. It's just since Anastasia is back, I was just wondering if she was going to be at Bellevue this morning."
"I highly doubt it." She visibly relaxes in front of me before she runs off to grab a shower. I dress as quickly as possible and head out. Since I'm only going to my parents house I don't feel the need for Taylor. As I drive I can't help but think about Ana. Her leaving is one thing but it's like she's a different person. The way she talked was like she had no emotions, she didn't react to anything I was saying. She's distant and cold unlike the Ana I've known for so long. I don't see my freshman when I look at her, I see a woman who is angry, but I don't know what caused that anger.
As I pull into Bellevue I notice Mia and Ethan car. I enter the house and can smell pancakes cooking. I enter the kitchen and my mother and Mia are hard at work while my father and Ethan are in a deep conversation. Mia jumps on me the moment she notices me standing there.
"Christian, I'm so happy you made it."
"Mia, we just had dinner last night."
We both share a laugh. "So where's Elliot and Kate?" Mia smile fades.
"Um Elliot called, Kate had a bad night. They'll be here a little later." I think I missed something because Mia looks utterly nervous.
"Why? What happened?" Ethan talks instead of Mia, whose looking anywhere but at me.
"Well, Kate was taken back by how cold Ana treated her. You know how much Kate missed Ana." I remember when Kate first heard from Jose that Ana moved away. She was a mess.
"I talked to Ana last night, she doesn't seem the same." I pause remembering her harsh demeanour.
"Wait, you talked to her?" Mia ask turning her attention from the pancakes to me. I nod my head. "What did she say?"
"She said her leaving was for the best."
"Well Christian, someone did try to kill you because of Ana. And once she left you were safe again."
"None of that matters. I love Ana. After everything that happened to us over the years, we were going to finally be together. Do you know how it feels to want something for years, and the moment it's finally yours, it's ripped away from you? I understand a lot was happening, but don't ever make it seem like her leaving me was the reasonable choice." Mia doesn't say anything, my mother comes and wraps me in a hug.
"Christian, aren't you happy with Ashley?"
"I'm happy because I have a great life, with wonderful friends and family. I care for Ashley but I love Ana and now she's changed and I fear she'll never love me the way she use to."
Ethan gets up and places a hand on my shoulder." I know it might not seem like it but no matter how much she changes, I suspect she'll always love you." I hope he's right.
Apov Sunday morning
I've had enough of Seattle. I drove to Portland yesterday to spend time with Ray and Bernice. It felt great to be around my dad, I almost felt like myself again. I wish things were different so I could stay, but they're not. Whose to say the minute I move back the shooter won't try to kill Christian again. So here I sit packing my suitcase before I head out to breakfast with Jose and Lyla.
I told them to meet me at the restaurant in the hotel, that way I won't run into anyone. Since I have to catch a plane in a few hours, I just grab a pair of jeans, a sweater and my riding boots. I'm giddy with excitement to see Jose before I leave, after all he is my only friend. I can't believe I've been reduced to only one friend. It's not as if I kicked them out of my life, they kicked me out of theirs. We've all been friends since high school, yet it was so easy for them to turn their backs on me. I close my eyes and silently count to ten. I know you're probably wondering why I count to ten. It's simple, whenever I can feel the hold I have on my temper slipping I count and just like that I'm back to myself. The elevator comes to a stop at the lobby and I make my way through the crowd of people until I reach the restaurant. As I look around I spot Jose coming towards. He looks scared and nervous. Crap! I know something is wrong.
"Ana, please don't be mad. I didn't know what to do. She was crying and saying how much she misses you." He's talking so fast I'm not quite sure what he's saying.
"Jose, slow down."
"Ana, whatever you do, just don't hate me." I have no idea what has gotten in to Jose. But once we make it to the table, it all becomes clear. Kate and Elliot are staring at me with a weird look on they're face. Lyla looks completely clueless and Jose looks down right scared.
"This isn't the breakfast I expected." Everyone laughs a little. I don't know why. That wasn't a joke, I really didn't expect this. But who knows when I'll see Jose again, might as well get this over with. Kate stands to hug me but I extend my hand. I can see the shock and hurt in her face but I pay very little attention to it. Elliot doesn't even attempt to hug me, thank god. We shake hands as well. I know Kate has a million questions to ask, but she starts off relatively normal.
"So Ana, did you enjoy being back in Seattle?"
"Yeah, I did." The table becomes silent, as if they expect me to say more.
"Well do you know when you might be back."
"I planned on coming back for Jose and Lyla wedding." A thick cloud of awkward silence covers the table once again. This isn't going to work, I don't want to be around these people and I'm pretty sure they can tell. "I think I'm going to finish packing." Jose begins to protest but I'm in no mood to hear it. I stand from the table, turn on my heels and head for the exit. I feel bad for leaving Jose the way I did but he should have told me they were going to be here, so I could have told him I wasn't ready to play nice. As I wait for the elevator I notice Kate making her way towards me.
"Ana, wait. We need to talk." I don't need to talk, she just wants to make herself feel better about that night.
"Kate, I really do have to pack." She finally makes it to the elevator just as it opens. I step inside and so does she.
"Ana, please talk to me."
"There isn't anything to say." I'm shocked by how flat my voice is.
"Ana I'm sorry. I should have done something. We were all just scared and didn't know if Christian was going to make it." I take a deep breath and count to ten. I was worried about Christian to, but in their eyes I'm the one who put him in the hospital.
"Kate the past is the past. One day I'll want to talk about what happened, just not today." The elevator comes to my floor and I step off. As I walk to my room I hear Kate footsteps behind me, and then I don't. I turn around only to find Kate holding her belly and her face etched with pain. I get to her as fast as I possibly can, praying that everything is okay.
"Kate,what's wrongs? do you need a hospital?" She takes a few deep breaths and it's almost like nothing happened.
"I'm fine, it's just the baby has one hell of a kick." Relief washes over me. I would hate for anything to happen to Kate baby.
"I'm glad you're okay." I place a hand over her belly. I feel the smallest of bumps, then another and another. I can't believe it, my best friend is having a baby. She'll have a child that looks just like her and Elliot, a child to love and cherish for the rest of her life. A single tears falls from my eye. I have no idea why in crying. Maybe because I missed so many important milestones in my friends life or possibly because I'm no where close to those milestones myself.
"Ana, are you OK?"
"No." I wipe away the few tears that have fallen down my cheeks. "I miss you so much" a nervous laugh erupts out of me.
"I miss you to." She wraps me in a hug that I return. I wish this one moment could change everything, sadly it can't. I break our embrace.
"Kate, I really should be going. But if you want you could call."
"Of course." After a quick exchange of numbers. I head to my hotel room to let out a much needed sigh of relief. Like I said, I've had enough of Seattle. Savannah here I come.