AN: Leave a comment if you want this to be a multi-chapter! I will only do so if I gain enough comments. C: also, leave me your prompts in the ask box! I will take prompts from detailed to words to quotes- whatever your heart desires. I will post periodically in the Caryl tag.
Daryl stood in front of the double bunk bed in the temporary housing, watching Carol sleep, his eyes soft. He barely brushed his thumb over her cheek, before turning away, walking off down the hall silently. He took out his knife and silently executed the mother walker first. When his eyes landed on the child, he felt himself shake a little at the thought of Sophia before shaking it off, dropping to his knees and holding out his arms until the little walker stumbled into them. He clutched her tightly, twisting the knife until she went limp. He laid her down, getting up and stripping the sheets from the beds.
He wrapped them up in the sheets and tied them, carrying out the mother first and lighting a fire, laying her down. He turned to go back, lost in thought. He had been doing that a lot lately... It was time to get out of the habit. He needed Carol but a little time to himself to gather his thoughts was helpful sometimes. He wondered when she would get up, what she would think of what he had done, how she would feel. Would she be mad? Being by himself wasn't what he was waiting for anymore. All he wanted now was her.
Backtrack a few months if not more, to the prison. Everything felt like a sinking ship when Carol was ripped away from him by Rick. He couldn't understand it, she was his friend, why would Rick trade her away like that? He banged his fists, busted his knuckles, everything she had told him not to do at the farm. He paced around, trying to get an understanding, a feel for the situation. In a rare moment of being unable to make himself submissive and complacent, he stood up to Rick, saying, "We're better than this. We don't do that."
There were some insults thrown but Rick deflected them like he had a fucking iron shield, so Daryl continued to pace around his cell now like a caged animal. He suddenly kicked the wall, spinning around, spitting something he could no longer recall. The expression in Rick's eyes was cold but taken aback, not exactly regretting what he had done. He didn't argue anymore, but there was a bit of pride there Daryl wanted to wipe right off his face. His stony expression crumbled a little to show a bit of sadness, saying simply, "I'm very sorry."
"But you're not."
Backtrack a few years to the farm, when he had yelled at her and called her a bad mother because the pain in his heart was unbearable. The pain of a father. He wished he could take it back but he wouldn't get a chance now because she was gone. He didn't get to say he was sorry for so many bad things he had said when he was a bad man. Even then as he picked the lock after the teenager had stolen his crossbow and she was panicking, the most his anger was was anger she had almost gotten killed so his voice edgy when he tried to reassure her. Even the man he was now was a hundred times better than the man on the farm.
All these times from the start when he had arrived at the camp flashed behind his eyelids. He could remember every step, every whisper and every gentle touch. He could walk backward through all the years they had been through like a video tape being wound back in the old days when they still played a VHS. Of course, everything was different now, but that didn't mean he would forget. No matter what happened he could backtrack every single day, count down all of them from the starting point. Recount everything he had been or was waiting for.
Fast forward to the present and everything was going wrong. He watched the car slam into her and almost lost it then and there. This couldn't be happening. None of it. He listlessly, in a zombie fashion, stumbled to a van with the kid and drove back toward the church, his eyes pinned to the road, a few tears making their way down his cheeks. Rain started to pour down on the rickety van and he wanted to stop the vehicle and just wallow in his grief but he couldn't. Why did everything have to be his fault?
He had never been more relieved to make a plan with Rick. Now, more than ever, what he was waiting for was to see Carol again. After the deal had been successfully negotiated, he wheeled her to the corner immediately, protectively standing by her... until Beth's untimely demise. At the gunshot and spatter of blood, his vision had blurred, wildly making a direct headshot with shaking hands before lowering his arm, slumping and feeling Carol rest a hand on his shoulder. He started to sob, feeling anguish rip through him, turning away.
After carrying the deceased teenage girl from the building, the girl like a sister to him, almost falling to his knees, everything seemed to race by like a wildfire. Time was going too fast for him to keep up and he felt like he was walking so slowly. When they had all ritually buried her, even past his shock and grief which for the most part engulfed him, he noticed Carol was beginning to have trouble staying up again. He blindly brushed Tyreese off, feeling a fierce protectiveness not to lose anyone else and that even though this was all his fault, he just needed to know she was alive. He needed to know.
He lifted her off the ground, carrying her bridal style toward the center of the group when they had to head out, vaguely registering Maggie's sobs. Carol didn't even protest; in fact, she fell asleep. For several moments he feared she had passed and panicked, telling everyone to stop just to check before continuing. Other than that, he hadn't said a word the entire time. Even with carrying her, he barely even acknowledged her presence, numb from the shock.
Somewhere in him though, he knew deep down things would get better and this would hurt but he wouldn't stay like this forever because he was strong.
He was waiting for a lot of things. He was waiting for Carol to get better, waiting to find a safe place, waiting to move on, waiting for this and waiting for that, waiting for anything and everything and a miracle.
When he was better, as he were before the whole events, he would be waiting for Carol to start over with him the way it should be.
He was waiting to feel alive again.
I hope that you like it in your little motel
And I hope that the suite sleeps and suits you well
Well I can see it as time and a sight through smell and
Thats why its nice to be by yourself
Cause thats what I'm waiting for
That's what I'm waiting for
That's what I'm waiting for, aren't I?
That's what I'm waiting for
That's what I'm waiting for
That's what I'm waiting for darlin'
We treat mishaps like sinking ships and
I know that I don't want to be out to drift
Well I can see it in your eyes like I taste your lips and
They both tell me that we're better than this
Cause thats what I'm waiting for
That's what I'm waiting for
That's what I'm waiting for, aren't I?
That's what I'm waiting for
That's what I'm waiting for
That's what I'm waiting for darlin'
We trade tit for tat like that for this
And I don't think that there was an insult that was missed
I can see it in your eyes like I taste your lips and
I'm very sorry
Cause thats what I'm waiting for
That's what I'm waiting for
That's what I'm waiting for, aren't I?
That's what I'm waiting for
That's what I'm waiting for
That's what I'm waiting for darlin'
It rained and its over a shooting star
Landed directly on our broke down little car
We fold and we had made a wish
That we would be missed
If one another just did not exist
Cause thats what we're waiting for
That's what we're waiting for
That's what we're waiting on, aren't we?
That's what we're waiting for
That's what we're waiting for
That's what we're waiting for darlin'
That's what we're waiting for
That's what we're waiting for
That's what we're waiting for aren't we?