Author's Note:
If you didn't know already, this universe is a Modern AU. Oh and English is not my first language so if you see any mistakes, pm me or comment. I would be grateful. Enjoy!
Start of Chapter Two
YEAR 2025
"Kids, like I said earlier your Uncle 'Kashi and I go way back when we were young so I'm going to tell you how I actually met that bastard. Don't worry I'm summarizing it."
How I Met Your Mother
UNCLE FUGAKU AND AUNT MIKOTO'S HOUSE 1988
Baking a cake isn't (ironically) a piece of cake. You need a perfect temperature, the perfect measurement of ingredients and a bucket full of mother's love. Fortunately, Aunt Mikoto perfected it all.
She assembled all the ingredients one by one on the clean wooden table, checked every utensils needed for the procedure, preheated the oven- and the most fun part- prepared the batter.
While she's doing what she does best, Obito and Itachi were beside her with big curious eyes. "Who's the cake for, Auntie? Is it somebody's birthday?" The older child asked. His little cousin couldn't even spare a glance as he was transfixed with his mother's hands.
Mikoto chuckled. "No" she said.
Obito tried asking again. "Is it a super special day today?"
The lady grinned widely. "You could say it like that" she replied. The two boys waited for an explanation but none came. After a few minutes, Aunt Mikoto was immersed with creating her wonderful cake the boys left the kitchen to avoid bothering her.
When they came back, they were surprised by a pair of sliced red confection with white frosting. "Who wants to taste it first before the visitors arrive?"
Cake is a lie.
The red velvet cake was amazing! Obito thought out loud. It was sweet but not too sweet. It was fluffy and it… was… just… perfect!
He was about to stuff another spoon full of delight when the doorbell suddenly rang. Aunt Mikoto quickly fixed her outfit- she's wearing a white button up long sleeved shirt and a dark gray pencil skirt- and hurriedly exited the kitchen. Excitement plastered on her face.
The older child turned to his younger cousin. "What's that all about?" he asked but Itachi just shrugged and continued spacing out with a mouthful of cake. He even got a few on his cheek.
Obito, who got curious, stood up from his chair and slowly walked towards the living room. He could hear a loud female's voice, Aunt Mikoto's laughter and two men, one of them is Uncle Fugaku, talking business.
"It's been three months! I missed you, Micoco!" That was the loud female's voice; it was followed by his Aunt's amused giggles.
"Well, everything's been busy lately Kushina. Obito's parents went to Iwagakure for a month and I have to take care of both him and Itachi. They're well behaved but you know how kids go. They need to be entertained once and a while."
The loud female now dubbed Kushina chuckled. "I brought presents Coco," hearing that statement made Obito more curious so he made himself known and entered the living room.
Unfortunately the woman named Kushina- who Obito can now describe as a habanero after seeing her flaming red hair- was the first to spot him. She quickly ran towards the boy and then proceeded to hug the living daylights out of his soul.
"He's so cute!" The habanero woman (screeched) squealed while she swayed him on her arms from side to side.
Obito can't breathe. Her breasts were stuck to his face and her arms were constricting his whole body like a snake. For the first time in his life he felt like dying.
"Kushina… I don't think Obito's… breathing anymore."
Finally he was released from the awful death grip. "Oh, sorry. Haha," the habanero lady sheepishly laughed. Obito stepped away from her while gulping a much needed air. Now if only he could go back to the kitchen unnoticed-
"Oh look Kakashi, you've got a playmate," said by the blond man who was speaking with Uncle Fugaku earlier. That made Obito look up and notice a young boy about his age with silver hair and a handsome face.
Like seriously handsome…
Obito was about to introduce himself when the other boy beat him through it. "I don't like him…"
"…."
Everybody went silent as they watched the young Uchiha's face turned surprised, confused, angry and flat out fuming in the span of thirty seconds in that exact order. "What the hell!? I haven't even done anything yet, teme!" Obito shouted and Aunt Mikoto gasps. The situation got even worse when Itachi thought it was a good idea to inspect the ruckus in the living room at that precise moment.
"Obito-nii, what's a teme?" Itachi's little chibi voice asked. If he wasn't busy being glared by his Aunt he would have cooed at how cute his little cousin is.
Aunt Mikoto is a lovely woman. She is kind, welcoming, and sweet and overall the perfect definition of a Yamato nadeshiko. Just don't mess with her though because every nice woman has a flaw and it mostly comes out whenever one's pissed or on their period. Sadly, today was not 'that time of the month'.
Today is Obito's funeral.
And it's the entire silver haired bastard's fault.
How I Met Your Mother
YEAR 2025
"Well, obviously you haven't died since you have us." Obito's son indicated.
"Thank you for pointing that out my boy. No really, it was helpful of you…"
His daughter rolled her eyes, clearly unimpressed. "Dad, your sentence is dripping with sarcasm. It does not fit you at all."
The father sighed. His female spawn is really the life of the party. "Ok, ok, sardonicism aside, that was the first time we met and obviously it landed on a bad note. What's worse was it didn't end there. At that time, your Granny Kushina thought it was a good idea to move near Granpa Fugaku's house- the reason why they visited in the first place- and since I was still living with them for a whole month, the bastard's path kept intersecting with mine."
Kung Paano ko Nakilala ang Inyong Nanay
Translation: How I Met Your Mother
KONOHA PLAYGROUND 1988
For some reason Obito is always an outcast when it comes to children in his age. They would make fun of him, steal his beloved goggles and ignore him when it's time to play.
It's the explanation why he's closer with the older group. The elders in Konoha are quite caring. They understand that the young Uchiha is a late bloomer and innocent at best. They would guide him and he's thankful for that. In fact, he's so thankful he started to do tasks for them in exchange for a piece of candy or a good storytelling and sometimes, if the old wasn't too tired, a homemade meal made with pure love- something his parents forgot to do.
Today though was one of those days that everybody who's old is busy and he felt neglected once again. Whenever these days come, he would visit the Konoha Playground with high hopes that something could diminish his growing boredom. What he didn't expect was that being a certain silver haired boy playing alone in the sandbox.
The young Uchiha isn't easily forgiving- one of his many flaws- but since he doesn't have anything better do, maybe he could join the other kid on whatever the hell the other kid was doing. He approached Kakashi with obvious hesitance and it didn't go unnoticed by the Hatake child.
He cleared his throat. "Hi Kakashi," he greeted with false cheer. Kakashi on the other hand ignored him and went back to writing on the sand. That ticked him off of course but he's not going to be deterred easily. "What'cha doing?"
"…Writing on the sand."
"Obviously" is what Obito would have said if he didn't want any companion so what he actually said is "Cool, mind if I join?"
What he anticipated was a rock solid 'no' and a fierce jab of 'go away' but Kakashi surprised him when he actually agreed. It was a quiet yes but it was still a yes nonetheless.
"Here's a stick. Scribble a large triangle inside my circle." The Hatake child ordered.
"Why?"
"...We're going to prepare a ritual where I'm going to sacrifice you to a Death God."
"…."
"…."
"…Teme."
Yo Mama, Lemme Tell Ya How I Met Ya!
It's been three weeks since Obito started playing with Kakashi. Three weeks full of bantering, roughhousing, teasing and pushing each other randomly. Three weeks of an unforeseen companionship.
The young Uchiha was still baffled at how they made it work. They're definitely not nice to one another. They punch each other's backs when no adults are present. They fight about everything for crying out loud. But still they're inseparable.
In short, they still see each other every day like yesterday's bruises didn't happen.
Everything was going swell but it's just too bad that Obito's parents chose the exact time to be good parents and attend the needs of their son.
Aunt Mikoto knocked at the young Uchiha's door for the umpteenth time. "Please open the door, sweetie! Your parents are here and they've come to pick you up."
Obito is underneath the bed, his back facing the door and his front facing a wall. A pillow was covering his head, trying but unsuccessfully blocking the voices behind the door.
He's not coming with them that's for sure. He's not going back into that place he once called home. No one was talking to him there. His parents are always out to even notice their child is lonely. They could hire a babysitter all they want, they could shower him with toys (only used to distract him from reality) but he's not going back, period.
The other side of the door went silent for a while until Kakashi's voice called. "Obito… this is the first time I'm saying please so… can you open the door please?"
The time Kakashi thought to be nice had to be the day he's supposed leave. "….Teme, what are you doing here?"
"I've come to say goodbye, dobe."
Hearing those words made his blood boil. The raven stood up from his hiding place and harshly opened the door. "Don't say goodbye 'cause I'm not going anywhere!" he shouted at the Hatake kid.
He should have known it was a trap when the silver haired bastard used the word please. His parents are standing behind the traitor. Clearly disappointed at how he was acting.
His wrist was grabbed by his mother who- even if she was wearing a straight face- was giving an atmosphere of 'don't mess with me right now, kid' and his father passed him by and entered his room, presuming he's going to pack all of Obito's stuff.
"You backstabbing bastard!" he bawled in anger and that was the last thing he said before both of his parents dragged him in the car and drove away.
He didn't even see the hurt look Kakashi was wearing the whole time.
How I Met Your Mother
YEAR 2025
The thirteen years old boy made a thoughtful face. "Wait, I thought the last time you've seen each other was in high school."
"Yeah, it was. You see, after my parents and I went back home-"
TWO WEEKS AFTER OBITO LEFT AUNT MIKOTO'S HOUSE…
Five years old Itachi was alone playing with a box of Lego in the living room. That's the running theme it seems these days: being alone.
Ever since his older cousin left, he had no one to share his toys with and it's not helping that there's no kids around his age. He could ask his neighbor, Kakashi, to play with him but what he had seen in those three weeks was far from healthy. He's afraid the other boy would treat him like his elder cousin.
The doorbell rang. "Itachi, can you please open the door. I'm making lunch," his mother called out. The boy silently obeyed, wishing that a supernatural being would come and grant him the ability to never be lonely again.
"Hi, little Munchkin. I know it's been two weeks, but I miss you al-" Obito was interrupted when his cousin collided with his leg.
Thank you supernatural being!
"-My parents were so tired of my whining they sent me back to Aunt Mikoto. They also gave extra pay for my expenses and even enrolled me to the nearest school. Ah, such lovely parents," Obito continued.
The children cringed, such lovely parents indeed.
"What happened next?" his son asked.
"Well, I didn't forgive Kakashi for about a week then after that we went on our normal routine. School started and it was horribly awkward. I embarrassed myself on the first day of school. I was the deadlast in everything while, as assumed, your Uncle Kakashi was the best at everything. Then we graduated with my grades hanging on a thread.
I told you I'm going to summarize it, haven't I? Of course, there's a lot of thing happen in between but I'll tell you that some other time."
End of Chapter Two
Confession Time!
Arcami told me that KakuHida wasn't (assuming the reader was a she) her cup of tea. It made me admit to her that there's something I'm going to do with Hidan.
Okay, so I gave her a hint: He's the ¾ Barney of the gang.
If you know the original HIMYM, do not tell the others!
Help Time!
Can you give me alternate words for "didn't" and "other". When editing this thing, I realized I keep using the word "didn't" and "other". See, I'm doing it again!