Chapter 8: Tobias

My recruits are better at aiming than the day before but I keep on them pushing them to their limits. Eventually I let them leave and clean up the rubber bullets before meeting with Tris.

When I get to the room the recruit she was with is leaving, her skin pale and sweaty and I notice that she tries her hardest to keep her eyes away from mine.

"How many?" I ask walking into the room and kissing Tris on the cheek.

"Eleven." She is just as pale. "The Fringe was worse than I thought."

Stroking her cheek I try my best to comfort her but I know what she's going to do next. The electrodes are still attached and she pulls out another syringe and hands it to me.

"Do you want me to watch or go in with you?" She takes my hand but doesn't answer so I take it as an invitation and apply the electrodes and inject us with the serum.

I've seen Tris' fear landscape before, on the computer but it's different now.

The swarming crows are the same and they attack us after only a minute of standing in the field, we swat at them and try to find something to attack them with. Eventually, maybe because she's grown tired of it, Tris pulls two guns from the grass and hands one to me. We kill the crows one by one and breathe for a moment.

Next we're in a tank of with water rising up around us, we stand facing each other as the water rises up. "Out of all of them, this one scares me the most." Her hands are on my waist holding onto me and trying not to let me see the fear in her eyes. But now that this isn't being recorded and our divergence doesn't mean anything to anyone we can take the time we need before just breaking the glass which she does after we kiss.

We walk out of the room and I recognize that we're in an Abnegation house, it must be her room. It looks just like what my room looked like, the bed with grey sheets pulled tightly at the corners, the desk with only a few school books on it, and the dresser with only a few drawers. The walls are bare and there's only one window but the faceless men are already there. The door shakes with others pushing against it and we move to the middle of the room, away from where the glass breaks and a handful of the forms try to wiggle inside.

"We're going to have to face our fears together," She says taking my hand and before I can realize what she means I'm pulled into the closet. We each take deep breaths and wait for the door to stop rattling before opening it again to the Dauntless training room.

There Eric, Max, and Jeanine wait for us. The three are all different and yet all the same. Eric stands with his arms crossed and the sadistic smirk on his face, Max's hands are clasped behind his back but there is no emotion on his face, and Jeanine has her hands held in front of her and eyes filled with distain and curiosity.

"This one's new." I hear Tris mumble and try to keep close just in case but she keeps a step ahead of me anyway.

"Beatrice," Max calls to her with his stony expression. "Your acts of rebellion have ruined our city."

Jeanine steps forward and smirks, "And got your parents killed."

"It's your fault you know." Eric adds his sideways smile gleaming.

I know that Tris wants to jump and beat them all up and I see her body tense, but then I notice her fists clenching and unclenching trying to get a hold of herself.

"The city is still standing thanks to us, you're the ones who tried to overthrow it because of greed and ignorance." Any mirth the three had is gone and hatred replaces it. "I'm glad you're all dead."

Turning on her heel she runs out the door and we're in the apartment and I'm standing there. I know this fear, she told me that I was in her landscape I just didn't know it was in such a comfortable setting.

The other me advances towards he slowly not even registering that I'm there and wraps his arms around her, placing his lips on her, whispering her name. There are flowers on the table and candles on the dresser and in a moment I'm pulling a ring out of my pocket and asking her to marry me.

Tris looks at me, her eyes gleaming with unshed tears and I try not to betray any emotions on my face but I don't think it works.

"Fear of moving too fast." Her lips are on mine, the real me feels the warmth and love from her. "Definitely not a fear of marrying you though."

Instead of facing this fear a normal way we leave the apartment hand in hand and end up back at her house in Abnegation. Her family is sitting at the dinner table eating happily and Caleb is wearing all grey but I notice a blue shirt underneath.

He hides the shirt swiftly so no one else can see and motions for Tris to join them but when she doesn't move forward her parents look over and start asking what's wrong with her and why she doesn't want to be together as a family.

She tries to explain and show them Caleb's true nature but they only tell her that she's wrong and eventually she uses her divergence to remember she's in a simulation and calms herself enough to get out of it.

We sit there for a few minutes in silence, I don't even try to reach out to her afraid that she'll run off and after a few minutes she leans into me.

"I'm so sorry you saw that."

I can only laugh. "Which part?"

"The part about us." Her eyes are still closed but I can tell her brain is still running a million different ways. "I'm really not afraid of marrying you I just want to slow things down a little bit and have a normal relationship for a little while."

I nod and help her stand pulling the electrodes off each of us and kiss her gently. The walk down to the cafeteria is short and when we get there I sling an arm around her shoulders and try to act as casual as possible. "If I were to ask you to marry me though…"

She chuckles but doesn't answer before jumping in line to get food.

Dinner is short considering we spent most of it in the fear landscape and we only get the dregs of whatever food was left. But we eat and laugh with friends until we decide to go see Amar and George to report in.

"Alright guys, let's hear it." He says when we walk in his office not even waiting for us to sit.

"They're awful." I offer watching as Amar finally looks up. "Some of them have never held a gun before and if they did they weren't taught how to do it properly, and fighting is just something you do when you're swinging fists at each other. It's chaotic."

Tris nods and messes her hair up a little. "They need more work, but I also think it needs to be more than just what we're doing."

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe they need to be taught what the laws are so they know what to uphold and how to act themselves. Also, the proper way to handle situations that don't require violence or what to do if someone gets arrested." I'm shocked that she thought of this when no one else did. "Police stuff instead of Dauntless."

Amar's eyebrows are in his hairline which makes him look freaky and I try not to stare. "Good work you two, keep it up."

"Are you as exhausted as I am?" I'm wide awake but I can see Tris' eyelids are heavy so I steer her to the apartment and curl up with her listening as her breath evens out.

So much for my bright idea is the last thought I have before falling asleep too.