Hinata continued to shake after Daichi and Kageyama left the locker room, and Suga did his best to calm him, carding his fingers through his soft hair and whispering reassurances to him.
Clearly he and Daichi needed to have a talk with their clueless kouhai. He'd need to buy some things for them too.
Suga sighed, rubbing Hinata's back in small circles. His shaking was much less violent now and he had practically melted into Suga's embrace, resting in the third years crossed legs, his face still buried in his chest. Suga had adjusted the towel so it covered Hinata better. This situation was probably embarrassing enough for the bright haired boy, add in his senpai seeing him in such a state and Hinata was practically a ball of embarrassment.
"Hinata~" Suga cooed lightly when the boys breathing was even and his tears had dried.
"Suga-san?" He was barely audible, voice muffled in Suga's shirt.
"How are you feeling?" He asked softly, trying to coax the younger boy out from his hiding place.
"Hurts." Came the simple reply.
Suga hummed, "I know. When you get home I want you to run a warm bath, okay? Not too hot though. It'll help I promise."
Hinata slowly pulled away from Suga (finally!) and wiped at his face, which, to be as kind as possible, was a mess.
"...okay." He said, looking up at the upperclassman.
Suga smiled, pushing strands of Hinata's wilder-than-usual hair away from his face where some was stuck to his skin with a mix of sweat, tears, and snot. It was decidedly disgusting, but Suga didn't mind.
Hinata looked away, wiping furiously at his face with the corner of the towel.
Suga laughed lightly, "Stop that, it's fine."
"I'm messy," Hinata countered. "I made your shirt messy." He glanced guiltily at the wet patch on Suga's shirt. "I'm really sorry Suga-senpai."
"Hinata, it's okay!" Suga said sincerely, his face turning a little more serious then. "Do you want to talk?"
He knew Hinata knew what he was implying.
"We are talking." The boy mumbled predictably.
Suga sighed, deciding on the more direct, blatant approach. Whether he liked it or not, Hinata needed to talk about this, and god knows he wouldn't do it with Kageyama without relentless prompting so this was the only other option.
"Why didn't you tell Kageyama he was hurting you?"
Hinata huffed, shifting uncomfortably in Suga's lap. Suga could see the defeat in his eyes before it registered on his face.
"...he was upset. He wouldn't tell me much but he said something about a bad grade." Hinata explained. "And then today in practice he was really off."
Suga nodded, remembering how over half of Kageyama's tosses hadn't been where the spikers had wanted them. Even his tosses to Hinata were off.
"I just wanted to make him feel better." The boy trailed off.
"So you initiated it." Suga said.
Hinata nodded. "He told me he knew how so I thought it would be okay...and then I was happy, because I could tell he was feeling good. So when he pushed into me and it didn't stop hurting from then on, I didn't say anything. I just pulled his face into my neck so he wouldn't see my face." Hinata sighed, "I just wanted to make him feel good... I-I like him. I really like him."
Suga sighed and pulled a blushing Hinata back into his chest, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. "Trust me, Kageyama would have rather you tell him those type of things. You can't seriously believe he'd be okay after hurting you like this?"
"He wasn't supposed to know!"
"That's beside the point. He should have known. He must've been pretty messed up today to not have noticed." Suga carded his fingers through Hinata's hair again, liking the soft feel of it between his fingers. "Whatever you were doing was obviously very wrong though. Usually it might hurt a little, or not at all if you're very careful. Otherwise it's just a weird feeling of discomfort— before it starts feeling good, of course."
Hinata groaned, turning his head into Suga's chest, presumably to hide his red face. "How can you say such embarrassing things?" He said, "How do you even know all this?"
Suga smiled, "it's my job to know."
A vibration startled the pair then, drawing their attention.
Suga fished his phone from his pocket, checking the message he just received.
Daichi? Why didn't he just come and talk to him, Kageyama would probably be fine on his own.
From: dai~chi 33
Sub: how's Hinata?
Suga, Kageyama's doing ok now, he had a bit of a panic attack before but he got through it. Hows the little guy going?
Well that explained it. Daichi couldn't leave Kageyama alone after a panic attack. Suga sent a message back, letting him know that Hinata was fine, just a little sore and shaken.
"Suga-san?"
"Yeah, Hinata?"
"Can I put my clothes on?"
Suga chuckled lightly, nodding and helping the boy stand up.
"You okay?" He asked, noting the unsteady legs.
Hinata nodded, waddling over to the pile of clothes on the floor. He scooped them up, one hand still holding the towel securely around him.
"You don't need any help getting dressed?" Suga asked.
"No!" Was the indignant reply and Suga laughed, holding up his hands defensively.
"Here, take Kageyama's clothes out to him." Hinata mumbled, pushing a small pile into Suga's arms.
The third year smiled, accepting them. "Come out when you're ready?"
Hinata nodded firmly.
"Good." Suga squeezed his shoulder quickly before leaving the locker room.
He spotted Daichi and Kageyama immediately, sitting on a bench at the side of the gym. Well, Kageyama was sitting. Daichi was kneeling in front of him, both hands placed on the younger boys knees. He was talking to him in a hushed voice and Suga approached warily, aware that Kageyama might not be in the right way to be surrounded by too many people at the moment.
Daichi noticed him first, smiling a little, nudging Kageyama and saying something to him.
"I brought your clothes—" Suga began once he'd reached them, but was immediately cut off by the first year.
"Is—I mean," Kageyama swallowed. "How is... How is he?"
Suga sat down next to Kageyama, placing the pile of clothes out of the way. "Hinata's doing okay. He's getting dressed at the moment, but he said he would come out when he's ready." Suga glanced at him, "Is that okay with you?"
"I..." Kageyama was at a loss for words. He didn't really know if he could face his boyfriend, but at the same time he needed to see that he was okay. The possibility of Hinata hating him continued to play on his mind. Kageyama didn't think he'd be able to function if Hinata looked at him with those big brown eyes, completely full of contempt.
"Kageyama," Suga said softly. "It's okay. Hinata likes you very much, he knows you didn't mean to hurt him. Have a little faith yeah? It's not all bad." The upperclassman reach up a hand to ruffle his hair, giving him a smile.
Kageyama looked away from Suga and to Daichi, noticing the strange look the captain was giving the silver haired boy before he directed his smile at Kageyama, squeezing his knee.
"O-okay."
Suga beamed, grabbing the pile of clothes once more and placing them in Kageyama's lap. "We really shouldn't leave you alone after a panic attack, do you want one of us to stay?"
"No." Kageyama blushed deep red. "I'll be fine."
Suga chuckled, "We'll wait outside then, you get dressed."
Suga stood up, grabbing Daichi's elbow and helping him from the floor. "We'll be back in three minutes, okay?"
Kageyama nodded, watching as they made their way to the gym door and listening to the distinct click as it shut behind them.
In that moment, Kageyama was eternally thankful for his senpai.
He stood up unsteadily, letting the towel drop and pulling on his clothes quickly.
He just barely tugged on his shirt when soft footsteps came from behind him. Kageyama shivered. It could only be one person, there had been no tell-tale clicking of the gym doors as they opened, the third years were still outside. Before Kageyama could turn around small arms slipped around his waist, hesitantly at first, as if the owner wasn't certain of their own movements, and then all at once they were around him and squeezing. Kageyama was frozen in place, staring transfixed at the thin arms pressed into his stomach. A wave of emotions rolled through him; deep regret, happiness, relief, anger, and a few more he couldn't place. He squeezed his eyes shut, trembling hands reaching up to cover the ones around him.
"I'm... so sorry, I—"
In a blur of bright orange Hinata was in front of him, reaching up around Kageyama's neck and pulling him down into a hug. The taller boy went stiff but allowed it, leaning down at the odd angle as Hinata held him firmly.
"It's okay."
His voice was soft and calm in his ear and Kageyama let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, dropping his head onto his boyfriends shoulder. He slowly brought his arms up, wrapping them around the small frame tentatively. He was so scared of breaking him his arms almost hovered around Hinata.
They were content standing there in the gym, a mix of emotions not wholly good, but good enough for them passing between the two. Kageyama almost wanted to say more—to apologise until his voice ran out— but he knew it wouldn't make things okay, and he wasn't sure if Hinata would want him to.
Someone cleared their throat, "Hinata, Kageyama, it's getting late."
It was Sugawara's gentle voice that roused them, Kageyama hadn't even heard the two third years come in. Hinata released him slowly, giving him a peck on the cheek for good measure.
"Will you be okay walking home?" Daichi directed his question to them both equally, though Kageyama thought Hinata deserved all the attention. Kageyama was fine, his boyfriend was the one who'd been hurt.
"We'll be okay!" Hinata gave a wide grin that made Kageyama's stomach lurch like it was attempting to detach and force its way up his throat. How could he be so happy? And give that smile that Kageyama wished he could look at every day for the rest of his life. Not that he would tell the dumbass middle blocker.
Their senpai looked vaguely uncertain but smiled all the same, gesturing for the first years to leave first so they could lock up behind them. Hinata and Kageyama quickly grabbed their bags from the locker room, bowing low to Sugawara and Daichi while apologizing profusely for any trouble they caused.
"That's quite alright—"
"But it won't be the last you hear about this from us," Suga interrupted the captain, eyes stern.
Hinata and Kageyama nodded guiltily, wondering just what that meant, bidding their goodbyes and leaving the gym.
Kageyama jumped as his hand was clasped in Hinata's smaller one, the overwhelming urge to snatch it back nearly winning out over the contrasting desire to pull the orange haired boy into his arms again. He did neither, allowing Hinata to cling to his hand as they walked away from the school, and away from Kageyama's big mistake.
Daichi and Sugawara watched on curiously, a hint of worry for their kouhai between them. The silver haired boy pressed up against Daichi's side, "Do you think they'll be okay?"
Daichi hummed, considering the question. "I don't know." He admitted with a frown. "But they have overcome a lot together, I think they might surprise us."
Suga cocked and eyebrow as Kageyama edged away from the smaller boy when he tried to walk closer to him. It was almost comical.
"It wouldn't be the first time, that's for sure."