Disclaimer: I own nothing except the drama. And I'm not so sure I own that.

CHAPTER 2: CLAUDIA

"Oh my lord…" I said as I buried my face in my hands. "Please tell me you're joking."

I looked at my boyfriend, hoping it was just some really lame prank he was pulling. Alan is all about the cheesy jokes. We've been dating for years now and even though I know it gets on other people's nerves (coughKristycough), his sense of humor is still one of his best features.

That and the look he gets when he's uncomfortable.

It's adorable. He gets this, like, wide eyed "who me?" look and he starts fidgeting like a little kid who has to go to the bathroom. It makes him a super cute but horrible liar. Alan says he wants to be an actor but if I'm being completely honest, he's never going to get a Grammy. It's just not something he's good at.

Like, right now, he was super nervous. He was tapping his pencil against his notebook and he kept looking away while he was talking to me. "Sorry, babe. Cary spent all last period crying to me about it. He said she pretty much ran away from him as fast as she could and seeing as how she's not really the kinda person that skips class…" He shrugged and gave me a half smile. "At least now we know I'm not the dumbest kid in school."

I sighed and rubbed at my forehead. "No, Cary definitely wins that title." I plopped my face down into my textbook. "Poor Mary Anne. She's probably freaking out in the girls' bathroom." I mumbled.

I was exhausted.

I'd been up all night working on this sculpture for a contest at school instead of studying for my history exam. The exam Alan and I were about to take whenever Ms. Sallaeman showed up. The last thing I needed right now was the added stress of knowing that Mary Anne was on campus somewhere having a nervous breakdown. She takes things way too seriously sometimes. Not everything is life or death but, for some reason, she always treats it like it is.

"Um…I can't really understand you when you talk into your textbook." Alan said. "Remember, babe? Enunciate. That's your word for the day. But if it's something in regards to killing Cary, painless or not, I'm not helping. So maybe it's better that you didn't enunciate, then I can't be booked as an accomplice."

I jerked my head up in surprise. "Why wouldn't you help me kill him?" I asked, annoyed. "You know he screwed up. You told him asking Mary Anne out was a bad idea. You said it was…" I rubbed at my eyes again as I tried to remember his words, " 'worse than inviting Stephen King to a dance.'" I said proudly. I shook my finger at him. "I remember cuz you had to explain to me that Stephen King is paralyzed and can't dance."

"i said Stephen Hawking." Alan corrected me. "And yeah, it was really dumb of Cary but you know what they say…" He paused and looked at me expectantly.

I just gave him a look that plainly said it was much too early.

"Bros before hoes, babe." Alan said. "I'm pretty sure it's in the bro code that a bro must stick up for another bro when the second bro is following his heart and I don't want Neil Patrick Harris showing up with his pet unicorn to stab me through the skull." He sighed. "Unfortunately, my hands are tied."

I raised an eyebrow. "First of all, Mary Anne's not a hoe and if you ever call her or any of my other friends a hoe again—"

"Even Stacey?" He asked.

I glared at him. "Especially Stacey!" I exclaimed. "Why would you even think-" I sighed. "We're not going there, okay? I'm tired, I can't think right now. Stop calling my friends hoes or else I'm not coming over for tv marathons anymore. I don't understand why you always have to talk about Neil Patrick Harris."

Alan snorted. "Probably because NPH is relevant to every conversation ever."

I had no idea what NPH. It had to tie in with How I Met Your Mother though because that's all he ever talks about. So I chose to ignore it. "I'm serious, Alan! You need to be nice to my friends!"

He gave me his sad puppy face. "I'm nice to your friends." He said. "I'm always respectful of women and their feelings. Well, except for Kristy's, but she doesn't really count."

I giggled. I couldn't help it. Alan's so freaking adorable.

"Ha! I knew you couldn't resist me." He leaned in and kissed me. It was short and sweet and I couldn't help smiling even bigger. I suddenly felt wide awake, like I'd just gotten 100 cups of coffee.

I rested my chin in my hand and smiled at him. "You are, without a doubt the biggest dork alive." I said. I leaned in for another kiss. "I love you so much."

He grinned back at me and leaned in. Our lips just barely brushed –

"Mr. Gray, Ms. Kishi, am I going to have to separate you two?"

We both jumped.

Ms. Sallaeman was standing in the front of the class, glaring at us.

"No ma'am." I mumbled. My face got super hot. We sit in the last row, so everyone had to turn around to look when she was talking to us. I could feel everyone's eyes on me. I'm used to attention for my clothes or my art, not for making out in class with my boyfriend. Not that we were making out but the way she was yelling at us, you'd think we were.

Unfortunately, Alan lives for attention of any kind. "Sorry, Ms. S." He said with a bright smile. "We were just going over our French exam."

I sank down in my seat as the class started to giggle. I could not believe he was doing this.

"I'm pretty sure Claudia got an A but I might still need some tutoring." He pretended to be embarrassed and looked at me for back up.

I glared at him. Shut up. I thought angrily, praying he could read my mind.

"Well," Ms. Sallaeman was frowning pretty hard core. She was obviously not a fan of Alan's jokes. "I think you should stay after school today to study. By yourself. In detention."

"That won't really work," Alan said quickly, "I mean, you need a French partner to conjugate verbs with and—"

"I think I'll make it two days." She said as she walked to her desk. "And I'm not going to embarrass Ms. Kishi anymore by having you as her partner." She looked around the room. "Ms. Blumberg, switch seats with Mr. Gray please."

Erica Blumeberg and her partner, Gillian Swanson, looked at each other. They both turned to glare at Alan but Erica got up and headed for our table.

"Ms. Sallaeman—" Alan protested as he stood up.

"Take your new seat or I'll give you three days detention." She said.

Alan gave me his guilty face. "Sorry." He said softly as he stepped back to let Erica take his seat.

I just shook my head and looked down at my textbook. As he walked to the front of the class to sit next to Gillian, I thought about how this was one of the few times I didn't think he was adorable.