All those little things

Las Vegas

October 1998

"And smile, perfect." The photographer walked off and Jenna looked at Frankie.

"My face is going to hurt if I have to smile anymore." Frankie laughed.

"Think how poor Karen feels, I think her face is frozen like that. Just think you'll have to go through this someday." Jenna made a face.

"Have you met me, no one in their right mind is going to marry me." Jenna was serving has Frankie's best lady at his wedding and they were dancing. Karen was dancing with her brother the Grooms maid of honor, Jenna was amused with the fact that Karen and Frankie had decided to have Bride's men and Groom's ladies. Frankie had grown up around all the woman at the bakery and Karen had grown up with all her brother's cop friends.

"You'll find someone who is suffering from a mild mental illness and he'll sweep you off your feet." Jenna laughed.

"I'm sure that if I keep him on his meds we'll be great together." Frankie gave Jenna a little twirl and pulled her back in.

"So have you been keeping Andy on his meds? Is that why you two have been spending so much time together?" Jenna frowned.

"We're just friends."

Yeah we've heard that before!!! Frankie sighed and looked at her.

"So that's why he spends so much time with you and mom at the hospital?"

"He's just being nice…look we agreed, no talking about mom's illness, hospitals or anything like that. It's a happy day for you and Karen." Frankie's eyes got dark.

"Yeah." Jenna knew that deep down Frankie wasn't happy at all; it had nothing to do with getting married or Karen. They had planned on getting married anyway, but they planned on getting married later on, like two years from now or even later. But, with Clarissa getting sick so fast, they stepped it up.

We we're worried she wouldn't be here. Jenna shook her head and smiled at her mother sitting at table with a nurse they hired for the day. The cancer had moved quickly and so far her mother had lost a good twenty pounds and was already wearing a wig. Jenna was surprised that her mother has even awake, she had went through another round of chemo late last week and was totally exhausted at the rehearsal dinner last night. Jenna broke away from Frankie.

"Go dance with mom, she really wants too."

"I don't know," Frankie hadn't been dealing with their mother's illness well and tried to avoid it when even possible. Jenna frowned at him and hissed in his ear.

"Franklin Giovanni Antonio Bianchi, go dance with your mother before I get your wife over here and we both start kicking your ass." Frankie pulled back and looked at her.

"I can't remember the last time anyone used my full name in that tone…I'm in the dog house ain't I?" Jenna sighed.

"No, she just looks really sad and she talked about dancing with you at your wedding. Now go dance with mom, if she's tired she'll tell you." Frankie gave her a hug.

"I honestly don't know how you deal with it everyday. I'm not strong like you." Jenna patted his head.

"Don't get all weepy on me now. The men in Karen's family look like the type of guys who can take a bullet in the knee and still kick your ass, you don't want to show them that a girl can kick your ass. Go dance with mama," Jenna pushed him off the dance floor and went to go sit down. Jenna took a sip of her drink and looked at the door of the reception hall and frowned.

He's not coming, why do you think he's coming? Jenna had sent Greg a letter asking if he could get away for a weekend and come see her and be a guest at the wedding. She told him that he could Dana that it had something to do with work, Jenna even told him that she would foot the bill for a hotel room and gas if he came down here.

I miss you so much, she wrote him in the last letter, Just come see me, make up any lie you want to her. So far that letter hadn't come back yet, unlike the others she had sent so she was hoping he would come and see her. Jenna sighed and decided that since her family was helping pay for the open bar, she should enjoy the free booze. She got up and went to get another amaretto sour and bumped into Andy.

"Hey." Andy has one of the ushers and was dressed in a suit and tie. Jenna had to admit that he looked really good in that suit, the blue tie really made his blue eyes stand out. He had recently cut his hair, so now it was a mess of black curls.

"Hey," Jenna got her drink and smiled at him. Since there relationship had ended, Andy had changed a lot. He had wanted Jenna to quit school, because he thought it was pointless for her to get the degree when his family owned one of the largest construction companies in Vegas. He wanted Jenna to settle down with him, she wouldn't need to work, unless it was for his family. Jenna told him that she was going to run her mother's bakery and he could deal with that or leave. He left and shortly after Jenna went back to school, Andy's father died and his family found out that his father had rode the business into the dirt with debt and that the family was broke. Clarissa hired Andy as one of the delivery guys; it was a real kick in the face to Andy to suddenly be working for Jenna's family.

Andy was taking care of the house in Henderson while Jenna was camped out on a cot at Desert Palms. He made it a point to bring her the mail, the phone messages, clean clothes and food outside the hospital and he also took over staying at the hospital with Clarissa in case Jenna needed to run errands or do some extra work at the bakery.

If someone would have told you that your ex would be bending over backwards like this for you last year, you would have laughed your ass off.

"You know this is really nice wedding. How long did that cake take? It's just…wow," said Andy. Jenna looked over at the piano shaped cake that she and some of the other girls had slaved over. Jenna did it for Karen, who taught music back in Chicago.

"Trying to make the mold was tricky; me and Jonathan almost pulled hair out of heads trying to get the frame right. But, it was worth it." Jenna took a sip of her drink and spotted Frankie dancing with their mother who couldn't have looked happier.

"So…listen," said Andy who was interrupted by the nurse Jenna had brought in for the day.

"Excuse me, Miss Bianchi. It's almost nine, we agreed to have her back at the hospital by nine," said the nurse using a slightly rude tone. Jenna sighed, she would have much rather of had Vanessa or Mimi as the call nurse, they were polite for starters and didn't treat Jenna like a child who didn't know what she doing. Sadly they got double booked on a shift and sent someone who reminded Jenna of an even bitcher version of Barb.

"Let her finish her dance with my brother, than I'll tell her it's time to go," said Jenna trying to use that firm but polite tone that got her through many phone fights with the insurance company. The nurse made a noise of disgust.

"I still can't believe that your family would have a wedding right now and put all this needless stress on her, it's really selfish if you ask me." Jenna was getting ready to let loose a stream of swears, when Andy grabbed her arm.

"Well it was a good thing that no one asked you, it was Clarissa idea to have the wedding now. We'll get her when she's finished dancing with the son. And I suggest you apologize to the person who's paying you, and mean it or else I'm sure your supervisor and the other nurses on staff would love to hear about how disrespectful you were to a patient's family during a family event," said Andy. Jenna looked at him in shock.

Did he just stand up for me…wow! The nurse rushed off and Andy shook his head.

"I hope you tell Vanessa what a bitch that nurse is. Hey, you ok?" Jenna was really upset about what the nurse had said.

It was really dumb to do this now, it really is a lot of stress and she really shouldn't be dealing with right now. God I suck at this.

"I just really need some air." Jenna walked outside and sat down on a stone bench that overlooked the garden and some of the ponds at the resort where the reception was being held. What was she doing, she couldn't do this anymore. Frankie was wrong, she wasn't strong at all. She may act like it, but on the inside she was falling apart, it was all she could do to put one foot in front of the other, her days were just one giant blur after the other.

Mornings start at six with a meeting with her doctor to see how she spent the night. By seven drugs are handed out, by seven thirty at least one of them has made her physical ill and now it's time to guess which one it is. At ten she's in chemo.

By noon she's sleeping and Andy comes in and I get to go home and spend at least three hours on the phone fighting with either A-the insurance company to cover her stay and treatment, B-The bank to see if I can hold off on just one more loan payment for the bakery or house or C-The suppliers for the bakery who want to deal with my mother and want payment for three months ago. If I'm not doing that I'm working, trying to make sure the place stays above the water.

In the evenings it's another round of guess the drug that makes her sick and if I'm lucky I get about four hours of sleep between the nurse checks or mom crying in her sleep…I'm fucking exhausted, I don't know how people deal with this, most twenty three years old I know are finishing school, getting their life started…mine is stuck. I just want…a hug, someone to tell me it's going to be alright. It's childish, but that's what I want. She really wanted Greg, she knew that he couldn't come to Vegas and help her deal with the never ending mess that her life had become, but would it be too much to ask for him to return a letter. She sighed and slammed down the rest of her drink and stared at the gardens. She could hear the music from inside the hall and gave a little smile and shook her head.

It's been seven hours and fifteen days
Since you took your love away
I go out every night and sleep all day
Since you took your love away

Andy sat down next to her and nudged her.

"Hey, their playing our song. We danced to this at your going away party," Jenna almost let out a laugh.

"Kind of weird, I'm surprised that you remembered" said Jenna.

"I gave them twenty five dollars to play it," said Andy. Jenna looked at him shocked and he grinned at her. He stood up and held out his hand. "You wanna dance?"

What…what are you doing? Jenna got up and took Andy's hand, he put one hand on her lower back and took her hand in his and Jenna took her other hand and placed it on his shoulder and let him lead.

Since you've been gone I can do whatever I want
I can see whomever I choose
I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant
But nothing, I said nothing can take away these blues
'Cause nothing compares, nothing compares to you

"How are you Jen?" asked Andy. Jenna blinked, for the most part, over the past few months; no one had asked her how she was. It was always about how was her mother, her brother and Karen, the business. If they did ask her, it was almost like an afterthought.

"Honestly…shitty…really shitty," she almost laughed, it was either laugh or cry anymore. Andy let out a laugh too and pulled her a little closer.

It's been so lonely without you here
Like a bird without a song
Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling
Tell me baby where did I go wrong
I could put my arms around every boy I see
But they'd only remind me of you

"You've gotten really skinny, are you eating?" asked Andy. Jenna shrugged and Andy frowned. "You need to start eating or you're gonna get sick too."
"Gee since when have you become so worried about me?"

"I know I wasn't the best boyfriend, but I still care…I've always cared about you Jen."

Oh you are not falling for this line of bullshit are you? Wait…oh my god, don't fall for this. It was to late, if it was a line of bullshit, Jenna didn't care anymore. Had she been so focused on what went wrong with her and Andy that she forgot that they did really care about each other years ago? Andy had been her first real boyfriend, her only real boyfriend; they had started dating when Jenna was fifteen and had been together for almost six years. He had been her first…everything…first date, first boyfriend, first kiss, first time, first heartbreak. Andy brushed some hair away from her face and smiled.

I went to the doctor guess what he told me, guess what he told me
He said girl you better have fun, no matter what you do
But he's a fool, 'cause nothing compares, nothing compares to you

"I almost forgot how beautiful you really are. I don't know how you do it, I mean I don't think I could take care for people the way you do."

"You could if it was someone you really cared about."

"Who takes care of you, does anyone take care of you anymore?"

He used to…but he left.

All the flowers that you planted brother, in the back yard
All died when you went away

Jenna just looked at Andy shocked and tried to find words.

"Let me take care of you, you've been so sad lately and you hide it from everyone and it's not fair." He pulled her a little closer. "Were you seeing someone while you were away?"

"I…"

"Because if he cared, why isn't he here now? I've seen the letters that come back from California, I didn't pry because it wasn't my business, but I see you hurt a little more each time one comes back and I see you hurt a little more each day in that hospital room. Pretty soon, you're not going to be you anymore, just a shell. And the Jenna I remember had too much life in her to be a shell."

He's right…if we can read between the lines of bullshit, look at what we've become…a goddamn shell…why should we wait and be lonely for someone who has made it clear with every return to sender that we don't matter anymore. I'm tried of it all; I'm tried of not feeling anything. Let's just try…give it a try, what can it hurt?

"Do you want to get out of here?" asked Jenna. Andy nodded and they went inside to get their things and he drove Jenna back to Henderson. Later on that night, when Jenna was laying next to Andy who was sound asleep she realized that when her and Andy were having sex, she didn't think about Greg, for the first time in months she had put him out of her thoughts, she was thinking about him now, because she realized that she had stopped. She got out of bed quietly and took off the necklace he gave her before she left California and put it in her jewelry box.

I'm not wearing that anymore, I'm not sure about everything else, but I'm not wearing that anymore. She didn't wear it for weeks, until Andy asked her to marry him. They were going out for dinner and Jenna was looking through her jewelry box for a necklace and Andy came in and picked it up out of the box and put it on her.

"It's pretty and you were wearing it the night we got back together, so it's like a good luck charm. You should wear it all the time, you never know when you'll need some luck." He kissed her on the check and headed out. Jenna sighed and fiddled with the charm.

What the hell, it's just a necklace. She grabbed her coat and headed out.

March 2000

Las Vegas

Jenna was sitting up in a hospital bed and she had taken off her engagement ring and was staring at it like it was a foreign object. She sighed and wondered how she could feel so empty.

I was going to have the full out wedding because that's what Andy wanted, Frankie was going to give me away, Ofilia was going to be my maid of honor, Karen offered to play piano for me…

"Jen," she looked up and saw Andy in the doorway. He was carrying a thing of red roses and his eyes downcast.

"Can I come in?" he asked, Jenna shrugged and he took that has a yes. He pulled up a chair next to her bed and took her free hand.

"I'm really, really sorry, about everything. I'll make it up to you someday I promise." Jenna turned and looked at him.

"What the hell are you doing here? You either have balls of steel or you are the dumbest son of bitch I've ever met." Andy gripped her hand tighter.

"I didn't mean for this to happen…"

"For what to happen? For me to find out that you went behind my back and stole from me and family, instead of coming to me like a man and telling me the truth, that you were in trouble and needed help. God damn it Andy, your father did the same thing and look what happened! Did you think I was moron, that I wouldn't notice it?"

"No…I…"

"Or do you mean why I'm in hospital? Are you sorry about that, are you sorry that you made me lose my baby. Because quite frankly, sorry doesn't cut it for that. You can't even begin to fathom what you've really cost me." Jenna peeled her hand out of his and handed him his ring.

"I'm not going to tell my family what you've done. I won't tell them that you tried to screw them over. But, you're going to tell them that this wedding is off and you are not going to blame it on me. I don't care what lie you feed them or your family, but all the blame better lay with you. Do you understand me; I said what I needed to say to you at the house. I want you gone; I don't want to see you again, I want your stuff out of the house before I get home tomorrow afternoon. Just go, please." Andy took the ring and got up. He stopped at the door.

"I'm sorry for everything." He left and Jenna was alone in the hospital room. Her mom had been feeling good and she was in Reno, Andy had called her and she was on her way back. Jenna placed a hand on her stomach and started to cry, she was only eleven weeks in to her pregnancy, not far enough in for the doctors to consider it a real baby, it was common they told her for first pregnancies to end in miscarriage, but it still didn't take away the hurt.

I felt it move…it was a part of me, I felt it pull away when I lost it. Jenna got released from the hospital the next day and all of Andy's stuff was gone, but it didn't take away the hurt she felt. Her mother told her she needed to put what she lost to rest, but Jenna couldn't seem to let it go, she felt this constant pull near her navel and it hurt so much.

One of the ladies at the bakery suggested that she get something to remember her first baby, she still had the blanket that the nurses brought her for her son who was stillborn. Jenna thought long and hard about what she wanted to remember her child by, they hadn't told her what she was going to have. A few weeks had passed when some of the ladies started talking about how her sixteen year old daughter had gotten her belly button pierced and how foolish her daughter looked.

Jenna went that afternoon with Ofilia to one of the local body art shops and asked the clerk to pierce her belly button. Ofilia looked at her like she was crazy, but she held Jenna's hand when they did it. Jenna got a hoop ring and the birthstone stone for her baby. She smiled when she looked at it.

Something to remember you by miele.

Las Vegas

2005

Christ jumped on the cross…why does my head hurt? Who the hell is whistling? Jenna moaned and tried to piece together what was going on, she was having the weirdest dream about Lissa and a gun, than everything went black and than she dreaming about her brother's wedding and all the dumb mistakes she made with Andy. She felt cold tile and realized she was on the kitchen the floor. The whistling stopped and Jenna felt someone pulling on her hair and she felt something cold near her temple.

"About time you woke up, god damn it that hurt." Jenna looked at Lissa and noticed that she bleeding from a serious cut and she noticed the broken glass on the floor and than Jenna remembered that she hadn't been dreaming about Lissa and the gun. Lissa grabbed Jenna by her braid and pulled her up than she pressed the gun against her left temple.

"That was really fucking dumb. Now we're going to try again, we're going to my car and than to the bank." Jenna felt dizzy, it dawned on her that this was the most physically abusive week she had ever gone through, she had been slapped, punched and had her head slammed in to her own stove. Jenna felt horribly disoriented and everything was spinning and it was making it hard to walk a straight line. Lissa pulled tighter on the braid.

"Stop fucking around."

"Well I'm sorry that I'm seeing three of everything right now." Jenna knew that Lissa was going to kill her once she got the money, she had hoped that she would be able to run away from her, and that failed. Now she was trying to stall for the cops to get here.

"Just walk towards the one in the middle," hissed Lissa forcing Jenna to walk. They got to the living room when they saw the flashing blue and red lights from a police car. Lissa yanked on Jenna's hair stopping her at the door.

"You bitch, that wasn't your mother was it?" Jenna didn't answer and that sent Lissa into a rage. She took the end of the handle of the gun and smacked Jenna upside the head with it, causing her to black out again.

Nick and Greg turned the siren off, but kept the lights going and pulled up to Jenna's house. Nick made sure that he and Greg put on the bullet proof vests before going in.

"We're no good to Jenna if we get ourselves shot," said Nick. Greg nodded and he and Nick carefully walked up to the porch and Nick knocked on the door.

"Las Vegas PD, we need you to open up." Nick waited a minute and knocked again, but louder. "LVPD, open up!" Nick got his answer via a gunshot through the front door that missed him by inches. Nick kicked the door open and with his gun pointed forward, Greg came in behind him and saw that Lissa was holding Jenna up by a fist full of hair and was pointing a gun at her left temple. Jenna was out cold from the looks of her, the bruise on her face was worst and she was bleeding from a serious cut on the side of her head.

A gun shot blow to her left temple, her green eyes stared at him with light or warmth. Greg tightened his grip on the gun and felt his heart pounding in his chest.

"Lissa you need to let Jenna go and put the gun down," said Nick calmly. Lissa pulled Jenna closer.

"She's my way out of her." Nick shook his head.

"Sweetie, I'm not letting you leave here with her. You need to put your gun down." Lissa let out a bitter laugh.

"Like I'm coming with you. I'm guessing you've figured out I killed that lady, or else you wouldn't be here. Coming with you means a needle in the arm."

"You're just making things worst for yourself," said Nick. Jenna moaned and stirred and opened her eyes and realized that she now had two other guns pointed at her. Lissa pushed the gun harder into Jenna's temple.

"I'll do it…I'll blow her freaking head off, if I don't get out of here."

You have to get her out of this!!!! Greg lowered his weapon and Nick looked at him shocked.

"Lissa let Jenna go. If you let her go, it looks better for you, I'm sure that the DA will cut a deal with you if you let a hostage go."

"I fucked up big time; I'm not getting out of this." Lissa cocked the gun and her hand and trigger finger were shaking near Jenna's head.

"Sweetie listen to him, it was a mistake…I'm sure they'll understand that, everyone screws up" said Jenna shaking.

"I call bashing in someone's head more than a mistake! What do you know anyway about screwing up? Huh…what have you fucked up in your life Jen?" Jenna closed her eyes and sighed. Nick recognized what Jenna was going through.

She thinks she going to die here…you remember almost giving into that despair when you were buried in that little box in the middle of nowhere. She's thinking that if she's going to die she may as well be honest. Nick looked over at Greg and saw that fear in his eyes. He's scared of losing her for good; he really is still in love with her.

"I lose everything I really love…I never tell people how I really feel. I told you that I ended it with Andy, because it was more than money. We got into a fight when I found out what he did, I was so angry with him and I got so upset, the stress caused me to lose a baby we were supposed to have. Losing that baby broke my heart, I lost my baby and I lost my best friend two years before that. That's what I've screwed up Lissa, I can't hold on to those who meant the most to me." Jenna's eyes rolled back up in her head and she blacked out again. Greg took a step closer and Lissa pointed the gun at him.

"Back off." Greg held up his hands.

"Lissa let Jenna go, this isn't you." Lissa's hand started to shake. "You're a good person and you can end this."

"I didn't mean for any of this to happen…" Her grip on the gun loosed and Nick careful and quickly took the gun out her shaking hand.

"We never do, we never mean to hurt anyone, but we do and we only get one chance to make it right," said Greg. Lissa nodded and let go of Jenna and Greg caught her. Lissa fell to the floor sobbing, Nick handcuffed her and the pair heard the sirens of the requested back up arriving.

"Always here for the clean-up," said Nick picking up Lissa after reading her, her rights. "She gonna be ok?" Greg was sitting on the floor and was holding Jenna in front of him. He had taken off his windbreaker in an attempt to warm her up.

"Her pulse is really weak and she's cold. I think she's going into shock." Greg could feel her shivering through her sweater and his windbreak.

"Wait here, I see if we can get some EMT's in here." Nick took Lissa outside to get her in a police car. Greg brushed some of Jenna's hair out her face and pulled her close to him.

"Come on Jen, wake up. Please wake up." She groaned and looked at Greg with one eye.

"Greg?"

"This is going to sound dumb, but I have to ask if you're ok?" She rolled her eye.

"I got pistol whipped, I got my head slammed into my stove. I got punched in the face by drunken whores in a jail cell, got accused of murder, found a dead body in my kitchen and she was the bitch who slapped me the day before that. Yeah I feel fan-fucking-tasic." Greg looked at her and snorted in laughter, it was the funniest thing he had heard all week. Jenna shook her head. "That's right, laugh at my misery." Jenna went to stand up and staggered. Greg caught her and made her sit down on the couch.

"Just surprised that you still have a sense of humor about you let me see that cut." It was starting to clot, but it was going to need stitches. "You're going to have to go to the hospital."

"I don't wanna," mumbled Jenna, she was starting to black out again. Greg had a feeling she had a concussion and he needed to keep her awake.

"Come on, stay with me." He pulled her close and held her up. "You got stay awake."

"This has been the weirdest freaking week of my life," muttered Jenna.

"Nice to know the feeling is mutual." Jenna started to doze off again and Greg shook her again. "Come on, keep talking. You have to stay awake to make sure your okay." She moaned.

"I'm sorry I called you a douche bag." Greg looked at her, took her hand and grinned.

"When did you call me a douche bag?" Jenna frowned.

"I didn't call you that….must have been one of the insults I was saving. What did I call you…at the jail…it was really shitty of me to do that." She was starting to black out again when Nick and the EMT's came in and shook her awake.

"Miss Bianchi…can you hear me?" one male EMT asked loudly.

"When you scream like that yes," Jenna said in a very sleepy pissed off voice.

"How many fingers am I holding up?" asked a female EMT holding up two fingers.

"Forty two," snapped Jenna. Greg knew she was being pissy and flippant with them on purpose, but they took it has a sign she was seriously hurt and got her on stretcher. She wouldn't let go of Greg's hand. "Shit…my mom…could someone call my mom."

"We'll get your mom sweetie," said the male EMT. They started wheeling her down the porch; Greg was trying to keep up with them.

"Where are you taking her?" asked Greg.

"Desert Palms…just overnight, she'll need an MRI to make sure there's no brain damage," said the female EMT. The EMT's started to load her in the back of an ambulance and Jenna wouldn't let go of Greg's hand.

"Don't…." she blacked out again and her hand slipped out of his. The got in and were ready to shut the door when Nick stopped them.

"CSI Sanders needs to come with you and get her statement and document those bruises. Greg, go get a kit and a camera from the car and ride with Miss Bianchi to the hospital." Greg looked at Nick and blinked.

"Well hurry up," snapped the Male EMT starting Jenna an IV. Greg scrambled and got a kit and camera from the car. The EMT's moved over and let Greg sit next to Jenna. The driver shut the door and the bumpy ride to the hospital started. The female EMT who introduced herself to Greg as Susan tried keeping Jenna awake.

"Come on Jenna you gotta stay awake," Jenna groaned.

"I've been up for over twenty four hours; can't I get a little sleep?"

"I promise if you stay awake that when we get to the hospital you can have the best sleeping pills we have," said Susan. Jenna managed a half smile.

"Does Desert Palms still have really good Jell-o?" Greg had to laugh.

"When I was there the Jell-o was to die for." Jenna noticed for the first time that he was there.

"What are you doing here?" Greg took her hand again and tried to joke with her.

"Couldn't leave you alone, you get in to much trouble when I'm not around."

"Douche bag." She muttered. The ambulance came to halt and they started to unload Jenna and wheel her into a treatment room. Greg was made to wait outside, her clothes were handed to him by a nurse, and he bagged them carefully and was than told to go to the waiting room while they ran the MRI on Jenna to make sure she was going to be alright. Greg sighed and went to the waiting room and sat in one of the famous 'comfy' hardback, low to the ground chairs that the hospital provided.

She's going to be alright, thank god. Greg thought back to what Jenna had said in the house, she lost a baby…she compared losing a baby to losing him. He shifted in the chair and tried to get comfortable, a lost cause but it gave him something to do. What felt like hours later, a doctor came out to get him.

"We didn't see anything to suggest any long term damage, but we gave her something to sleep. So you can collect any evidence you need, but you'll have to come back for her statement." Greg followed the doctor down the hall to the private rooms, the doctor followed him in and made sure that Jenna was sleeping and left to go about his rounds. Greg looked at Jenna sleeping, someone had taken her hair out of its braid and the injured half of her face was hidden by hair. Greg was torn between his job and his desire to comfort his friend from years ago.

Just do your job and you can tell her everything you want afterwards. Greg popped open his case and started going through the routine of collecting evidence. He pulled out the camera and photographed the cuts on her hand, he remembered that Lissa had a cut on her face.

She put up fight, good girl. Greg smiled, Jenna always had been feisty. He was glad to see that all the years hadn't taken that away. He had to move her hair to photograph her face. He moved it away carefully and Jenna stirred a little and dozed back off. Greg didn't realize that he was holding his breath until he let it out.

Work…work. He got the pictures he needed and finished up by taking nail scrapings, almost waking Jenna up again in the process. He put the camera away and made sure everything that he collected was in the case. Greg turned and looked at Jenna, she was only inches away, but it felt like miles.

Is this how she felt when she came to see me? He moved a little closer to the bed, aside from the bruises and cut on her face, she looked just as beautiful as the day he first met her. He reached out and took her hand in his and gave it a squeeze and felt her squeeze it back. Jenna opened her eyes and looked at him.

"Hey."

"Hey." Greg went to pull up a chair to sit next to her when a tall dark skinned man walked into the room, with Clarissa behind him. The man's jaw dropped upon looking at Jenna and than he noticed that Greg was holding Jenna's hand and he turned his attention to Greg. Greg let go of Jenna's hand, he had a feeling this was Jenna's older brother, Frankie who would probably kick his ass for even looking at Jenna. Jenna looked at the man and gave a lopsided smile.

"Hey Franklin." The man shook his head and came up to the bed and Greg stepped away. The man bent down and gave Jenna a kiss on the forehead.

"You never could stay out of trouble."

"I'm not the one who got caught spray painting Mr. Keller's garage when I was sixteen, so suck on that," said Jenna.

"It's nice to see that you're memory isn't damaged," Frankie turned around and noticed Greg and Greg braced for his beating. Frankie offered his hand out for a handshake. "They told me you saved my sister's life, thank you." Greg shook his hand.

"Just doing my job. I should get going," Greg picked up his case and went to head out when Jenna called out to him.

"Do you think you can come back tomorrow?" Frankie raised an eyebrow and looked at his sister and Greg.

"I'll try," said Greg and Jenna gave him a little nod and a small smile. Greg walked past Clarissa, who followed him out to the hallway.

"Mister Sanders." Greg stopped and looked at her. She came up to him slowly and looked up him for a few seconds before throwing her arms around him near tears.

"Thank you, very much." Greg shrugged and went to head out.

"I can understand now why my daughter fell so hard for you." He stopped and looked at Clarissa who shrugged and started to head back to Jenna's room, she stopped at the doorway. "You really should come and see her tomorrow." She headed into the room and shut the door. Greg sighed and headed back to the lab with the evidence.

Seven hours going through the scene and evidence at the lab, a nap, a shower and a stop at the hospital gift shop later, Greg was standing in the doorway of Jenna's room. She looked more alert than last night and was sitting up in the bed, flipping through the channels; a breakfast tray was pushed to side half eaten.

"Jenna." She turned and looked at him and motioned for him to come in. He pulled up a chair next to her bedside and held up a baggie. "Got you a get well soon gift."

"What is it?" she asked her voice subdued and Greg could tell that her last shouting match at him was still wearing on her.

Be her friend, she needs that right now.

"This." He pulled out a cherry Pepsi and a bag of Skittles. Jenna smiled and Greg remembered how that smile was for him and him alone.

"You remembered."

"I never forgot." Jenna reached over and opened a bedside drawer and pulled out a can of root beer and a thing of Reese cups.

"I didn't forget either…I had one of the nurses get these for me in case you came."

"Why wouldn't I come?" asked Greg taking his snack food. Jenna shot him a look.

"I don't know about Dana, but most wives don't like their husbands visiting old girlfriends, even if there in the hospital after a hostage ordeal." Greg almost choked on his drink.

Oh shit, she still thinks your married; we should set her straight before we go any further.

"Um, Dana and I aren't together." Now it was Jenna's turn to nearly choke on her drink.

"God what a bitch, I mean leaving you is one thing, but I'm going to assume that she left your baby too. God I thought the guy who knocked up Ofilia and left was an asshole, but it takes a special kind of woman to leave her baby behind," said Jenna acidly.

You should set her straight on that too.

"It wasn't mine; she said it was mine because she knew I would stay. She told me this after I held her hand for almost ten hours and saw it come into the world…I knew it wasn't mine when I looked at it. So Dana's a lying bitch and I haven't seen her since than." Greg took a bite of his Reese cups and almost laughed at the shocked look on Jenna's face.

"You're shitting me…I'm sorry," said Jenna.

"Not your fault. Besides, even if I was with Dana I still would have come here to see you; you came and saw me when I was in the hospital." Jenna's jaw dropped.

"How did you…"

"Warrick told me," Jenna gave him a questioning look. "Oh, tall black guy ate my cupcakes, all of them. You told him your name Karen? Why did you lie?" She popped a few candies in her mouth before answering.

"I saw the story on the news and when I heard that you were one of the people who got hurt and sort of freaked out and I told Karen, my sister in law, about…us and she told me to stop being a baby and come see you, well I wasn't sure if it was you or not. I didn't think they were many Greg Sanders working in a crime lab. She told me if I ran into anyone, I could use her name as cover. I was scared that your 'wife' would kick my ass, so I lied about who I was."

"Why didn't you wake me up?" asked Greg.

"I couldn't." She looked down at her bed and Greg pulled out the letter from his pocket and handed it to her.

"Is this why?" She took it and realized what it was and stared at him.

"Where did you get this?"

"Let's just say that CSI Stokes is all about matchmaking and he found it by accident, you won't rat him out will you?" Jenna shook her head.

"I can't do that to East Texas, the girls will have my head." Greg raised an eyebrow. "All the girls started calling him that."

"I never got any of those letters; Dana sent them back to you, not me. I didn't get any of your calls either. She made sure I got your engagement notice. Did you get any of my letters, I didn't write that often, but I did write." Jenna shook her head no.

"I was at the hospital on a cot with my mom; Andy was checking the mail and messages for me." A look of realization came over Jenna. "If I had the desire to go track his ass down i would beat him up." Greg smiled.

"He's not worth it." It grew quite between them and Greg took Jenna's hand. "What happened, after you called off the wedding?" Jenna sighed.

"I don't know what he told everyone, but I made him call off the wedding. He probably told them it had something to do with me losing the baby. I didn't tell my mom about the money, Ofilia was the first one to notice that it was missing. So we kept it quite and I took a second job, my mom was still kind of sick, so I told her the second job was for hospital bills and well…I danced for about a year, year an half and I hated it, but I was able to get the money back and no one found out, I even had some extra for the shop here in Vegas." Jenna leaned back in the bed and sighed. Greg tightened his grip on her hand.

"What happened to us? You were my best friend." I loved you

"We run away when things get to hard, we tend to over think every little thing, we're morons. Yeah, I'm going to stay with us being morons." Jenna smiled at him and Greg smiled back. "I've missed you so much."

"Me too." A silence fell between them and Jenna looked him in the eyes.

"Can I ask how you feel about me now?" Greg bit his tongue trying to find words.

"I don't know." Liar "I miss my friend, I miss everything we had. I miss knowing that you would always be there." Jenna nodded and looked at the bed.

"It's nice to know the feeling is mutual. I mean we really haven't seen each other in years, yet just being in the same room with you, makes me…" she looked at Greg and he found himself drawn in. He let go of her hand and touched the undamaged part of her face. She sucked in a breath and closed her eyes and both of them were remembering what it felt like to have their hands on each other. Greg gulped and tried to reorganize his thoughts.

"Jenna…I,"

"Tia!!!!" They broke away quickly and a small girl with blond hair and a very light tan jumped on the bed and gave Jenna a hug and a woman with blond hair and very pale skin came in behind her and frowned.

"Anya! What did mommy say about running and yelling in the halls?" The little girl pouted and the older woman sighed. "That's the last time I let you sleep on plane." She looked at Jenna and than at Greg and raised an eyebrow and grinned.

"I'm Karen, are we interrupting something."

"No." They both said together and Jenna blushed and gave Anya a hug.

"Um, this is my sister in law, Karen and my niece Anya. Anya, Karen this is Greg Sanders from the Crime Lab." Karen's grin got even bigger and Greg knew he needed to get out of here before Karen started questioning him.

"I should get going, bye Jen."

"Bye Greg, thank you…for everything," said Jenna. He smiled and started to head out. Karen watched him walk out and she turned to Jenna and started talking in French and Greg had to laugh.

Il est si mignon. Damnez-vous peu d'anneau, vous sont plus d'ennui que votre valeur. He is so cute. Damn you little ring; you're more trouble than your worth.

"Karen, he's not Frankie, he speaks French." Karen turned red and shrugged at Greg.

"It's not my fault that you're cute and I'm married." Greg shook his head and headed out.

"Jenna's gonna be at work later on tonight if you wanna talk to her again," called Karen out the door.

"No yelling in the halls mom!" cried Anya. Greg got into his car and started banging his head against the steering wheel. You were so close!!!!

Greg was finishing up the paperwork for this case, when Nick walked in.

"Lissa is being charged with murder; Jenna isn't going to press charges against her for the attack in her house or breaking in. Mikey is going to jail for a very long time and life is good for now."

"That's good," said Greg. Nick lightly smacked him on his head. "And what was that for?"
"I heard you went and saw her at the hospital, what happened?"

"Heard from whom?" asked Greg.

"No one, you just told me," said Nick grinning and Greg sighed.

"We talked, that was it."

"Tell me you two are back together," said Nick.

"No."

"Come on Greg, why are you dragging your feet on this?"

"We're friends."

"Bull shit, you want more than that with her." Greg threw a pen at Nick.

"I don't know what I want when it comes to Jenna."

"Yeah you do. Take it from someone who waited till it was too late to be with the person they felt a passion for. I know you two have that, or else you two couldn't piss each other off so quickly," said Nick, he went to head for the door, but remembered he had something for Greg.

"Found this in the SUV, I think you know who it belongs to." Nick tossed something at Greg and headed out. Greg caught it and looked at it; it was Jenna's charm necklace. The charm still reminded him of her eyes, he couldn't believe that after everything that had happened, all the years that had passed she held on to this, still wore it. He looked at it and had a feeling he knew why she kept it, she had in some small way waited for him even after she supposedly move on. All these years, she waited. I was the one who left and didn't look back. Dumbass." He quickly finished the reports and handed them to Judy and decided to take off earlier and not clock anymore overtime. He told Judy that he could be paged if needed and left the lab. Nick and Hodges watched him leave from the Trace lab.

"Lucky Bastard," said Hodges. "I spent hours getting that number off my hand and she's going to waste herself on Sanders."

"What was the number, did you ever call her?" asked Nick.

"867-5309."Nick started laughing. "What's so funny?"

"Jenny, I got your number," sang Nick, Wendy and Mandy walked in to speak to Nick and couldn't help it.

"I need to make you mine, Jenny don't change your number."

"867-5309," they all sang and Hodges's jaw drop.

"Damn it all to hell!!!" cried Hodges who slammed off, leaving a laughing Nick, Wendy and Mandy behind.

Jenna straightened her back and sighed, she was kneading dough for tomorrow mornings cinnamon rolls. The girls were quite and subdued news of Lissa being arrested for murder and her attack on Jenna had upset them. Jenna had a feeling that her being there was a little upsetting. Cover-up was not going to work on hiding her bruises, it got too hot in the kitchen and all she would do is sweat it off, so her beating marks were there for all to see. Out of respect for Jenna's mother the music was softer than what they normally had blaring in the kitchen. Some one had put in Eva Cassidy and it was depressing the hell out of her.

Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick
And think of you
Turning in circles confusion–
Is nothing new
Flashback to warm nights–
Almost left behind
A suitcase of memories
Time after–

She slammed the dough down and went to look for a rolling pin, she got one the spares they had. She was told that hers was evidence and she wouldn't be getting it back, she didn't want it back anyways, it had been used to beat someone to death. She would have to go and get a new one and label it hers. She started rolling out the dough and really wished they could have put in something else, she didn't know why this music was depressing her to no end.

Sometimes you picture me–
I'm walking too far ahead
You're calling to me I can't hear
What you have said–
And you say–go slow–
I've fallen behind–
The second hand unwinds

If you're lost you can look–and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you–I'll be waiting
Time after time

Frankie, Karen and Anya had caved to jet lag and were sleeping at the house, Jenna went back home for a shower and a change of clothes, but she still felt weird in the house, so she went into work to help with the backlog. Her mother had taken a nap earlier and was wide awake now and helping get dough ready for turnovers. Jenna grabbed the butter and was putting it on the dough and by the time she got the sugar/cinnamon combo, her eyes were watering.

"For fuck sakes can't you people find something else to listen to," snapped Jenna who was sick of Eva Cassidy and was half tempted to throw something at the C.D player.

If you're lost you can look–and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you–I'll be waiting
Time after time

Ofilia clicked it off, the other girls gave Jenna a look and Clarissa put an arm around Jenna's shoulder.

"I'm fine; it's just…that song is depressing as hell."

"Let's go get some air miele," said Clarissa leading Jenna towards the stairs that went to the rooftop. Jenna sighed; she didn't know what was wrong with her. She was fine, everything was going to be ok, but she still felt horrible. They told her Lissa was going to jail for at least fifty years for the murder, it was such a waste, she had a promising future and now it was going to be in a jail cell. Her mother sat her down on the swings and started rubbing Jenna's back.

"What's a matter innamorato?"

"I don't know, just stressed." Jenna turned to her mother. "Why didn't she just tell me she needed help, I would have helped her out. Her parents won't help her out and now she's going to spend her life in a jail cell, god I only spent a day in one and it freaked me out, she's not going to survive in there mom." Jenna put her head on her mother's shoulder.

"It's not your fault, you can't help those who don't want it," said Clarissa in Italian. "Is something else brothering you?" Jenna answered her mother back in Italian.

"Yes, I talked to Greg this morning. He's not married and the kid wasn't his, his psycho ex sent my letters back, Andy got rid of the letters he sent me, so we've spent over six years hating each other for no reason and now I don't know what to do."

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't know."

Greg pulled into the parking space outside the bakery and saw Ofilia and another woman cleaning the front of the shop. Greg knocked on the door and Ofilia spotted him and went over to the door, opened it and leaned in the doorway.

"What do you want white boy?"

"Is Jenna here?"

"On the roof, she was having a hissy fit and needed some air. And so I'm going to ask you again, what do you want white boy. You've made my boss; my best friend and my daughter's godmother cry repeatedly this week. Give me a reason I shouldn't kick your scrawny ass to the curb?"

"Jenna is perfectly capable of kicking my scrawny ass and I have something I need to say to her and if your not going to let me in, I'll just stand outside and scream at her until she comes down from the roof." Ofilia rolled her eyes.

"I don't know whose worse a Mexican man or a white boy." She stepped back inside and took Greg up the stairs to the roof.

"Don't screw this up."

"Do you miss him sweetheart? Do you want him back?"

"I don't know mom, he really hurt me the last time?" Jenna was torn about what happened in the hospital room, it would have been so easy to give in to his touch, she knew that look in his eyes. But, she didn't think she could go there with him again, it hurt too much. Than again she wasn't sure what he wanted, he told her so himself.

"Than how come you're still want him?" Jenna shrugged.

"Because he's smart and warm and funny and he cares about people, he saved my life. I'm just scared to feel that way again." Jenna put her head down on her mom's shoulder and she could smell yeast and sugar, something her mother always smelled like when Jenna was growing up.

"Do you still love him?" The tears Jenna had been holding back all night came out in her voice.

"I think I do."

"Jen." She froze, it couldn't be, she turned around and Greg stepped into the light were she could see him.

"Mom you could leave us alone for awhile? Please?" Clarissa nodded and headed back down stairs to the bakery. Jenna looked at Greg who was walking towards her and knew that look in his eyes and knew what it meant and what it would do to her.

"Greg before you." He was kissing her before she got another word out.

He couldn't figure out what to say to her, she always left him tongue tied. Plus every time they did try to talk about their relationship they messed up and everything went wrong. Actions spoke louder than words anyway, he wanted, needed her to know that he was still in love with her. He pulled her into that kiss and held her tight; he had missed this so much. The years fell away between them; everything that had happened over the years meant nothing, this here and now meant everything. He felt her hands wrap around his neck, felt her fingers in his hair and she was bringing him in for more.

YES, OH THANK GOD YES!!!!!

His hands remembered how she felt and began to follow a path that they had taken years ago. He ran his hands through her hair, remembering how soft it felt. Over her face, wiping away tears he caused her.

I'm sorry I make you cry. I promise I won't make you cry anymore.

He continued until he found her hips and pulled her even closer to him, her shirt had ridden up when she wrapped her hands around him and he wanted…needed to feel her skin in his hands and he moved his hands up to her sides and pressed into her. He heard her gasp and she pushed away from him and she was standing their shaking.

"Greg."

Oh no.

…………………………

He was kissing her again and it was all she could do to stand up, she had to wrap her hands around his neck for support. She could feel his hair in her hands, he had let it grow out and it was soft and fine. She laced his hair in her hands and pulled herself a little closer to him. It had been years since anyone had kissed her like that made her feel like she was drowning and she wanted it.

He's the only one who's made us feel this way, made us want.

She felt his hands on her, through her hair, on her face all the way to her hips. She felt him dig his fingers into her hips and than she felt his hands working under her shirt and it sent shockwaves through her.

What the hell are you doing, no, no! It's too much, too soon. I can't, it hurt too much the last time we let him in. She pushed away from him and started to shake.

"Greg."

………………………………

He had moved to fast, scared her and now she was pulling away. He reached out and took both of her hands in his and squeezed them and looked her in the eyes.

"Oh Jenna, I've missed you, so much it hurt. I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I hurt you. You gave me so much and I never gave you anything back, at least not has much as you gave me."

"I don't know Greg. I don't know if I can let you back in, it hurts. It hurt so much when you left me, I lost it when I came back home. I couldn't sleep, I cried for days, I couldn't eat, food tasted like ash. I honestly think the only thing that kept me going was that my mom needed me. I can't let myself fall in love with you again, only to have you leave again." Greg pulled her into his arms and held her tight.

"Baby I'm sorry. I'm sorry I did that to you, I never, ever wanted to leave you. I loved you…I still love you Jenna." He tucked her hair behind her ears and kissed her forehead. "Come back to me please, I need you to come back." Jenna looked at him and he wanted to look into her eyes forever, she bit her lip and looked down at the ground.

"I'm not the same person I was years ago." Greg took her face in his hands and looked at her.

"I'm not either; I wanna start over with you, clean slate. Just come back please." She started to bit her lip again and Greg was worried that she was going to pull away again, that he had lost her for good this time. She gave him a small smile and threw her arms around him, Greg felt a warmth come over him that he hadn't felt in ages and he pulled her in closer.

"Why did we wait so long?" asked Jenna.

"We're morons." He heard her laugh and that warmth continued when she buried her face in his chest.

"I missed you."

"I missed you more," said Greg.

"You are such a dork." Greg laughed and kissed the top of her head.

"Thank you."

"For what?" she asked.

"Waiting." He pulled the necklace out of his pocket and put it on Jenna. "This belongs to you, it always has."

"I always felt weird when I wasn't wearing it." Jenna let her head fall on Greg's shoulder and Greg moved to kiss her again when Ofilia came up on the roof.

"Are you two going to stay up here all night making out?" Jenna turned and looked at Ofilia.

"Go back to work before I fire you!"

"Stop making out than," said Ofilia who went skipping downstairs. Jenna turned to Greg and smiled.

"I have to go, before all my employees come up here and start harassing us. Call me, so we can set up a date." He kissed her again and took the fire escape off the roof; Jenna went back downstairs to her staff smirking at her. She told them to get back to work before she fired them. Her mother grinned at her and patted her on the head.

"Good girl."

Writer's notes- Yeah school is done and I have a 3.0 GPA to show for it, now I can write all I want, I have one more chapter for this one and I plan on writing another story involving Greg and Jenna. I hope everyone has like this so far.

Love it, hate it, review it please.

Thanks to those who have reviewed, put me on alert and added me to their favorites. -