How Prussians Annoy Floridians

By Dragon-Child of Lightning

Case-In-Point 4: Relaxation

Sitting peacefully on her back porch, Florida, finally having an off day, read a book written by the renowned James Patterson. It was a gorgeous day on the east coast of her home, St. Augustine; and thankfully her boss decided to give her the day off and the blonde state intended on using it fully (or at least until her presence was needed for… whatever reason). Turning the page to number 107, Jez placed a bookmark between the pages. I've got to move, contemplated Florida as she stretched. So, moving off her cushioned lounge chair, Jez stretched her way to the kitchen where she found Jezabird perched on the window sill above the sink.

"Hey Lady Chirps-A-Lot," smiled Jezabel. The mockingbird's head twitched the slightest bit as she awoke and looked to her master.

"Chirp!" peeped the bird. Jez laughed and stroked the bird's feathers. Today was indeed perfect. Jez opened her fridge and grabbed a carton of orange juice while her little feathered friend opened a cupboard so the state could grab a cup. The fresh juice was downed within a second.

"You board Jeza?" Florida asked her pet. The mockingbird cooed a yes and lighted on Jez's shoulder, the state being her mobile perch as the blonde strode back to her porch. The radio outside was tuned to a popular radio station that played a variety of different music across St. Augustine. A newer song played as Jez turned up the volume and started to dance and Jezabird hovered overhead.

'Cause you make me feel like
I've been locked out of heaven
For too long, for too long
Yeah you make me feel like
I've been locked out of heaven
For too long, for too long…

"Oh yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah," Jezabel sang with Bruno Mars. "'You bring me to my knees, you make me testify-'"

BANG, BANG, BANG!

Jez started in alarm and slammed a palm on the radio to shut it up; someone was at the door. Jez darted inside with her pet right behind her; quickly, she combed through her kitchen draws till she found her handgun and the advanced toward her front door. Peeking through the peephole in the door, Jez let her breath go when she saw who it was. Sighing in relief, and with annoyance, Jezabel opened the door. There he was, soaked from who knew what and an extremely mischievous grin plastered on his face.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Jezabel asked. "You nearly scared the crap out of me with all your banging."

"Well, the Awesome Prussia has an issue," Prussia stated in the third person. "You see, I may or may not have played a prank on England, so…"

Jez closed her eyes and sighed. It did indeed explain the reason why the ex-country was all wet. "Of course you did Prussia; so what did you do to piss off Lizzy?"
"Well, I might have, uh, embarrassed her in front of Francis, Antonio, and Alfred-"
"Of course you did.
"And also, it had to do with her skirt-"
"Of course it did."
"So yeah. That's what happened," Prussia finished.
"Why must you make everything an embarrassing moment for anyone you come in contact with?"

"Because I'm awesome?" he shrugged sheepishly. Gilbert shrunk even more under Jezabel's glare; as far as anyone could tell, Jez was the only person (other than Elizabeta) he was truly afraid of. Jez's little brother was America, she technically had fifty brothers and sister (the states and Puerto Rico), plus a whole bunch more family via Spain. So in other words, she had her own power and not to mention a boat load of others when it came to help. All she need now was her old Spanish Florida uniform and a sword, and she would've been as scary as some of the most terrifying dictators ever.

"No, you're an arrogant fool. There's a massive difference." She sighed heavily, looking the other direction for a moment. "But, you are one of my best friends. So I'll allow you to hide here until England forgets the whole incident."

"Danke," sighed Gil.

"Man you're really acting out of character; what exactly did you do to Lizzy?"

"Well…"

"BWAHAAA! That was so freaking hilarious," Spain hooted. "England; are you sure you're not secretly uke?"

"ANOTONIO! Shut the hell up before I kill you!" England threatened. "I swear if it's not you, I'll at least curse Prussia until the day he's murdered by my hands!" Britain ranted a little while longer, choking the air in front of her with her hands.

"But Mon Cher," France purred. "Your ass was so beautiful; I don't see why you hide it."

Elizabeth stared with a revulsion. "Belt up! I don't even know why you were looking that way when he did that. You are such a perv some days."

"But not all the time."

She sighed. "No; at other times you can be an absolute gentleman." She turned sharply back towards the Frenchman. "But right now you're being the outright opposite!"
To explain and summarize things, Gilbert decided to lift up Elizabeth's skirt and then basically ripped it off of her waist; with Antonio, Francis, and Alfred right there. The ex-country of course ran off as fast as he possibly could, cackling all the way. Both the European countries attempted holding in their laughter, but tried with no avail. Al blushed, apologized, and looked away immediately. Liz blushed a bright tomato red and yelled at all four of them simultaneously.

And now of course Elizabeth wanted to kill Gilbert for this whole embarrassment.

"I cannot help it if I'm the absolute opposite sometimes." Francis paused, processing the information. Then, "Wait are you calling me bipolar?"

"Na; the very definition of bipolar would be the states in the west and their crazy weather," Alfred clarified, who had decided to stay quiet until then. "If you're anything France, you're bisexual."

"You got me there," huffed the blonde.

"In the meantime," exasperated England. "We need to figure out where Gilbert could've gone. Maybe Germany's place?"

"That would make sense," Spain agreed. "But think; if you were Prussia, and if you knew his head, where would you go?"

The four thought for a moment until America snapped his fingers. "I got it, he went to Canada's!"

"The two of them maybe friends, but no," Spain shook his head.

"Um, let's see, Russia?"

"Yeah no."

"Italy's?"

"Highly doubt it."

"Austria or Hungary?"

Britain gave a deadpan look at America. "Both of them would've turned him over on the spot as soon as he spilled his sob story."

"Then I'm clueless."

"No surprise there."

"You guys seriously can't figure it out?" France questioned.

"Figure what out?" England asked.

"Where Gilbert ran off to."

"Well if you know where to, spill."

Francis smiled. "Florida's place."

Florida sat quietly with her fingers like a steeple as Prussia finished his reasoning on showing up to her house. She almost burst laughing a few times from the obvious hyperbole Prussia used.

"So you're telling me that you swung in from a rope, in a pirate outfit, swept Elizabeth 'off her feet,' almost dropped her and when trying to catch her, by her skirt, it tore and that's why she's mad at you?" Jezabel concluded, desperately trying not to crack a smile.

"Yes; that's exactly it," bobbed the albino. Jez blinked; then she turned away and pretended to look out a window, her shoulders shaking from laughter. "Wait are you laughing at the Awesome Prussia?!"

"No, no," snorted Jez. "I'm just, uh, crying and I don't want you to see me, ya know, crying." Unfortunately, Jez's bursts of laughter proved that she was lying.

"Why you little, how dare laugh at my awesomeness?!" the red eyed man puffed and pouted.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry Prussia; your story is just so unrealistic," Florida giggled. "But nice try."

Prussia's frown deepened.

Jez's giggling dies down just enough that she could smile in a way that was almost sympathetic. "Oh come on Prush; in your story, you saved Lizzy's life supposedly."

"Yeah, so?"

"Prussia, you're more likely to out someone in danger; not save them."

For a moment, Prussia scowled; and then his face softened, looking almost tragic. "Do you really think that?"

"Think what?"

"That I'm more of a danger then a saver?"

"Oh come on Prussia," Jezabel rolled her eyes and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You know I'm playing; stop being a sensitive idiot."

"It still hurt my Awesome feelings," Gilbert explained as he scratched the back of his head.

BANG, BANG, BANG!

Both blonde and albino jumped in surprise. Now who? Jez thought irately.

"FLORIDA! OPEN THE DOOR OR I WILL!" came Elizabeth's voice.

"Well it was nice knowin' you Prussia," Florida said bluntly as she got up.

"Wait! You're not going to leave me are you?!" Prussia asked desperately.

"No," was the reply. "But Lizzy is going to kill you." BLAM! Jez's door was busted in by a blast of strange black magic, and there stood Britain, America, and the other half of the Bad Friend Trio.

"Like I said, nice knowing you Gilbert," Jez shrugged. Gil gulped.

(p.s. things were sorted out, and Prussia didn't die.)

From DCoL:

Hey! It's me again with another short story. This was whipped up (slowly) to counter act the last chapter.

Translations: Danke- Thank You in German

(If I screwed anything up translation wise, please yell at me)

Ok, so I've figured something out; I am preferably too lazy to write in the accents, so just imagine them please. It's what I do.

As-Ta-La Pasta!
DCoL