"His name was Caleb Dume, he was a student and later a padawan, just like I was." Kanan spoke gently, watching Ezra's startled look. "Same first name as your friend, I know."

Ezra had been tired of going over the infiltration of the com tower over and over in his head, looking for a distraction. He'd asked about the Jedi, what it was like before the Empire, not sure if Kanan would give him any answers or just some mysterious sayings. The last thing he expected was that.

"Were the two of you friends?" Ezra bit his tongue on the dozens of things he wanted to ask, sticking to something safe.

"We were." Kanan had a sad smile on his face, looking up at the stars. "He wanted to be a Jedi Knight, save the galaxy, defeat bad guys, all of that. He didn't have a clue what a bad guy looked like outside of the pages of a history book."

"What other friends did you have?" Ezra was glad he wasn't looking at him, it made it easier to pretend he didn't recognize the names, the descriptions, biting his lip until it ached. Caleb was real, had been real at least. He even recognized some of the stories, pranks pulled, the time Caleb had gotten the grand idea to steal parts to build his own lightsaber long before he was supposed to and ended up setting a fire in the storage room he was hiding his project. He'd had grand plans to show it off and be promoted to padawan right away, instead he'd had detention for months.

The question that nagged at him most, long after Kanan got tired of talking and told him to go back inside and sleep, was one he couldn't ask. Why had Caleb never mentioned Kanan? He'd told about his other friends, to the point he'd had to stop himself multiple times from volunteering some fact about them that Kanan didn't mention. It didn't make sense, Kanan knew enough that they'd had to have been close.

Unless…

Unless there was very good reason Caleb never said anything. Ezra knew what had happened, not as well as Kanan doubtless did, but well enough. Maybe the reason Caleb had never said anything was because Kanan survived.

It made sense. There was no danger in telling a child all about people long past the point the Empire could hurt them, but someone alive and in hiding would be in danger. He stared into the dark for a long time, hoping against hope that Caleb would come back, at least for a little while. He'd wanted so badly to ask him about everything, he'd have a better idea what he should do. He was glad he hadn't blurted out to Kanan that he'd been talking to his dead friend, but at the same time the lie by omission seemed so much worse. He'd find a way to tell him, after the mission.

Ezra was drowning on dry land and he couldn't seem to stop it. Kanan had lied. He'd had to have known he wouldn't be able to join them, he was just buying time. He'd lied to him, and he needed him back so he could yell and tell him exactly how much of an idiot he was. They all needed him back, and he couldn't think. If he could just think he could come up with a plan.

"Ezra, you need to calm down."

The voice came out of nowhere and it shocked him into stillness, slowly turning to look. Caleb looked more insubstantial than usual, flickering, like he was fighting against something. Ezra bit his lip and then took a long slow breath, running over the first of the meditation exercises in his mind until the emotions ebbed. He'd never been able to appear when he was this upset before. As his mind calmed, Caleb's form steadied until he looked just like he remembered.

"Caleb… What…"

"Shh." He made a quiet motion. "I'm here, I just… it's complicated. Very complicated. And I promise I can tell you more soon."

"Where have you been? Is it because I… I know I promised, but..." It had gone through his mind too many times, as a small child he'd sworn to hide his abilities, and then everything had happened. He hadn't thought Caleb would hold a childhood promise against doing the right thing, but as time had passed he'd wondered if he'd ruined everything.

"What? No, it wasn't you. I'm glad you're getting trained, finally. It's not that. You want to get Kanan back, right?"

"Yes!" Ezra barely managed to keep it to a forceful whisper.

"He's not at the Imperial Center. He's… I'm not entirely sure, a ship. I don't know which one."

"There's six Star Destroyers up there now."

"Yeah." Caleb jerked suddenly, like he was listening to something, flickering. "I have to go."

"Wait, you said you were going to explain!"Ezra reached out like he could hold onto him and stop him from leaving.

"Soon." And he was gone, leaving an empty feeling in his wake that chilled Ezra to the core.

"Mustafar… Caleb, if you're listening, now would be a really, really good time to show up." Ezra felt sick, slumped on his bunk with his head in his hands. He didn't expect an answer, so he nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard something.

"I'm here." Caleb knelt on the bunk with him, slumped down and looking even more tired than Ezra felt. "We can talk now. I think."

"I…" Ezra made a soft frustrated sound, trying to think of where to begin. "Kanan told me about you."

"Sort of. He lied about some of it, though I guess some of that's my fault." Caleb managed a sheepish smile.

"Lied? About what?"

"We weren't friends."

"You weren't? But.."

"Wait, that sounds wrong, let me explain. I am Kanan, kind of."

"Now who's lying?" Ezra stared at him, but now that he had time to really see him, knowing Kanan so well, he could see it. Features that would sharpen with time, with worry and experience, were obvious now. His eyes were even the same shade of blue-green.

"I'm not lying. It's a long story, but I'll do my best." Caleb flickered a moment, looking pained, and then steadied.

"Are you ok?" Ezra wished he could do something, anything. It struck him suddenly that Caleb had probably felt like that a lot.

Caleb shrugged, taking a moment before he spoke again. "When… when everything happened, I broke. Literally. When something that traumatic happens to a Jedi sometimes it happens, you amputate your old self to survive. I didn't know what to do so… I created someone who did. It wasn't perfect, I mean I was fourteen. But the Jedi were being hunted down and killed and it was all I knew how to be. I kind of… slept, for a while. I was aware of what Kanan was doing, but it wasn't really… me. And then I sort of drifted."

"What happened?"

"You did. I felt you and I was curious. And then you could see me, no one else could. I hadn't really realized how lonely I was until I wasn't anymore. And then there was all of this, that was a big change." Caleb waved a hand around at the Ghost.

"When I came on board?"

"What? No, it's not all about you." Caleb chuckled quietly at Ezra's indignant expression. "He… we, met Hera. We hadn't really ever considered there was another option besides just surviving, she gave us one. We started working together a lot more then."

"So he knows about you?" Ezra wasn't sure why Kanan had never said anything. He hadn't said anything himself, true, but that was different.

"Not… exactly. I think he thinks I'm like his conscious. He really doesn't have any clue, at least not yet."

"Yet?" Ezra didn't like the sound of that, and Caleb nodded soberly.

"We're…" He made a soft annoyed sound "I'm not sure the best word, blurring? Fragmenting? Merging? He started training you, which means he needs me. Kanan Jarrus has no idea about how to be a Jedi, I do. " Ezra started to apologize and he held up a hand "It's not your fault, it was already starting when we started working together, this just accelerated it. It's why I haven't been around. I could keep things from him before, but now… He'll remember this conversation, probably think it's a dream, but he'll remember it. "

"What can I do?"

"Nothing. Save him, save us." Caleb stopped, he'd intended to tell him everything. From everything he could remember, when a Jedi split himself, one side eventually won, one way or another. He didn't know what would happen if they tried to merge, if it would destroy him, or Kanan, or both. He wanted to warn him, to give him some kind of chance to prepare himself. Nothing seemed to work.

"We will. Tell him that? Even if he thinks it's a dream, we're coming for him." Ezra clenched his hands into fists, not able to meet his eyes.

"I will. I don't know if I'll be able to contact you again before then."

"Whatever you can do." Ezra waited until Caleb flickered and vanished before he buried his face in his hands and let tears trip down between his fingers. In a little while he'd pull himself together, he'd go back out, he'd come up with a plan, but for now it took everything he had to hold back the fear he might lose his teacher and his best friend at the same time. He couldn't give in to fear, to the sick cold feeling that hovered tauntingly at the edge of his awareness. He'd lose them and lose himself and he owed them far more than that.

By the time he dropped back down the ladder and went out to find Hera, his eyes were dry. If anyone noticed how red rimmed they were, they were kind enough not to say.