Disclaimer: No infringement of copyright is intended. All characters originated with CSI:NY. Poetry not otherwise referenced is original.

A/N: Ah! Alerts. Not. Working. I hate that. I promise I am responding to reviews and comments. Thank you to the people who are keeping up with the epic – looks like it is just going to get bigger. For those waiting for more D/L, I promise it is coming, but all the other characters have demanded more time and bigger story lines, so I am just following orders (that Stella can be scary when she doesn't get what she wants!)

Spoiler Alert: Spoilers for Seasons 2 & 3, up to and including "Silent Night".

Circle Dance

When I see you, the music swells.

We step towards each other;

The lights dim and your hand fits in mine

Perfectly.

It is hard to tell who leads –

Who follows

The steps of the dance were set down for us

Long ago.

Switch partners: I lose hold of you;

The warmth of your hand is offered to another.

But the circle swings around in time

And you return to me.

I will not lose you again.

SMT 2007

Chapter 9: Making Amends

Lindsay hung up the phone in the kitchen with a sigh. Talking to Stella always made her feel a little better. Stel had been the first person at the lab to treat her as a colleague and a friend: Mac had treated her as a professional, but definitely a subordinate, and Danny ... well, Danny had treated her like a country hick. The thought of her calling Mac 'sir' still had the power to make her cringe with embarrassment.

Lindsay flushed a little uncomfortably, thinking back to the moment a few weeks before that she had almost destroyed two years of careful friendship. Telling her boss to leave her alone had been childish and petulant, she knew. But she had been struggling for weeks with the feeling of being slowly dragged under, with the nightmares that would not go away. Everything had started to remind her of that first scene she had been involved in: sleep had been a torment and work had been torture.

"Hey, Montana?"

She snapped her head around to the kitchen door, to where Danny stood, white-faced and shaking slightly. She pushed herself to her feet, "Danny! I could have brought you what you needed. Why are you up?"

"I need to call my folks, Linds. They don't know what happened."

"Danny, I'm sure Mac told them," Lindsay's voice faltered as Danny's eyes went dead, "or someone else from the office. Still, you should talk to them. They'll be worried sick." She chattered on, aware that something was wrong when Danny did not brighten. "You could stay on the couch, though. I can bring you the cordless phone. These chairs aren't very comfortable."

"This is fine, Linds." Danny sat down beside the wall phone, and clenched his fist through a wave of pain. When he opened his eyes, a glass of water and his pill bottle was on the table in front of him.

"I'll just give you some privacy, okay?" She shuffled out of the room, dry swallowing her own pills as she went.

Danny watched her out of the room, and waited until the door had closed behind her before lifting the receiver and dialing the number. He glanced at the clock as he did so, calculating the time in New York. It was a Saturday. With any luck …

"Hello?"

Danny swallowed hard, "Hi, Ma."

There was silence on the other end of the line.

"It's Danny, Ma. I just wanted you to know …" his voice trailed off.

"What?" he thought dispiritedly. "What do I want you to know? I took off without telling you? I got shot? I'm not dead yet?"

"Wonderboy the detective came. He said you had been shot." Her voice was cold, but not hostile.

Danny sighed in relief – he'd caught her at the right moment – then reacted in surprise, "Flack? Flack came to tell you?"

"Yes, that one: SuperCop they're calling him in the papers. Are you in Montana? He said you were in Montana."

"Yeah, Ma. I'm in Montana. Remember my partner? I told you about her?"

"You told your father about her."

"Yeah. Well, she needed some help, so I came out here…" Danny fumbled.

"And got yourself shot. Some help."

Danny sighed, "Is Dad around?"

"Yeah, I'll get him."

"Thanks, Ma." Danny waited a few minutes, then heard his father's deep voice.

"What in God's name are you up to, boy?"

Danny sat back slightly in the chair, wrapping his feet around the chair legs, rubbing his fingers lightly over the incision in his side. "Hey, Dad."

"Montana. Where the fuck's that?"

Danny looked out the window at the high mountains, covered in snow, the horses grazing in nearby fields. "Other side of the world, Dad. Right round the other side of the world."

"You okay, Daniel?"

"Will be."

"You in the hospital?"

"Naw, Lindsay's parents' ranch." Danny recited the phone number. "They're looking after me."

"You just be careful, Daniel. Families can be a fuckin' bear trap. Be smart. You hear me? You hear what I'm telling you?"

Danny rubbed his hand over his head and down the back of his neck, stifling a sigh. "Yeah, Dad, I hear you."

He hung up and dropped his head into his hands. He knew everything there was to know about the family trap.

He picked up the pill bottle in front of him, rolling it between his hands. He took off the lid and poured the pills out on the table, flicking through them, counting them, then swept them into his right hand, which he clenched into a tight fist.

With a deep breath, he pushed himself up from the table. Lindsay had been right; they were not comfortable chairs. He took two steps to the sink, dropped the handful of pills into it, then turned on the water, hard, and watched them dissolve down the drain.

-CSI:NY-CSI:NY-CSI:NY-CSI:NY-CSI:NY-

"Dr. Lissa Willette. How are you doing?" Hawkes smiled at the petite doctor whose masses of dark hair were intricately braided and pulled off her face. When she smiled back, the dimples in her cheeks made her look like an impudent ten year old.

"Sheldon? I was so glad to get your call! You're early!" She threw herself into his arms and did a little dance before pulling back and looking him in the eyes. "How are things going with you? I hear you've had a rough time."

"How do you do that?" Hawkes groused goodnaturedly. "I haven't spoken to you for four months, don't even know what's up in your life, but you're all caught up on mine?"

She grinned at him again, "Ah, but the mysterious Dr. Hawkes is always food for gossip! Besides I was going out with a paramedic who talks to the cops and so on and so on…" She twirled her finger in the air, miming the never-ending cycle of rumour and speculation that, along with coffee and doughnuts, fueled the Emergency Services of New York City.

"Ahh, was going out? As in no longer going out?" Hawkes slowed his walking pace to Lissa's as they moved down the hospital corridor towards the Exit doors.

"Broke up last week," she said without much regret. "Schedules too awkward, timing too awkward, sex too awkward." She grinned at his slightly shocked face and added, "He's 6'5". I always felt I needed a step ladder!"

Hawkes laughed and threw an arm around her shoulders. She barely came to his chin. "You need to come back to me. We always fit together."

"Too true," she flashed those dimples at him again, "I'm afraid you ruined me for any other man, Sheldon Hawkes."

Teasing each other felt comfortable, thought Sheldon, as they walked out into the brisk winter morning. The sun gave a spurious sense of warmth to the day, but noticing Lissa shivering a bit as she pulled her coat closer, he found them a spot to sit against the wall, where any heat the day could provide was radiated off the brick.

"So, tell me everything," Lissa said, putting her face up to the sun and sighing gratefully. "I was so surprised to get your phone call. I'm sorry I couldn't get away for longer – we're short staffed as always."

"It's okay. I called on an impulse, so I'm just glad you have a few minutes for me. Things are okay." Sheldon put his head back as well, closing his eyes.

"That was convincing. You still liking the CSI gig?"

"I love it. I really do, Lissa. It takes everything I know how to do and puts it all together. And I like the people I work with: they all have their own reasons for being there, but they all agree that finding the truth is the most important thing."

"What about that investigator you were interested in? How did that go?"

"It didn't. Turns out the feeling was not … reciprocal."

Lissa turned slightly to watch Sheldon's face, but it was as composed as ever. She put a small hand on his arm, and squeezed gently. "She doesn't know what she's missing."

Shel smiled down at her. "Thanks, Lissa, but don't go thinking I'm suffering from a broken heart or anything. I'm fine. I did want to talk to you about something though."

"I knew this wasn't a social call!" she groused.

"No, a social call would include drinks and dinner, which I hope to score a date for before you have to go back to work," he teased. "But I need some advice."

"Sure."

Hawkes told her about the feeling he had been struggling with that he was no longer a doctor. "And I want that feeling back, you know? So I'm looking for an … outlet for that, I guess."

Lissa frowned thoughtfully. "You quitting the investigating?"

"No. I just want to add something, purely volunteer for now."

"You want to go overseas?"

"Doctors Without Borders kind of stuff?" He deliberated for a moment, then shook his head. "I had thought of it, but I don't want to take a leave right now. Mac would go crazy if another CSI took off."

"So, you're looking for something socially redeeming here in town that won't take too much time?" Lissa watched him steadily as he flushed uncomfortably.

"It sounds pretty selfish and useless when you put it that way."

"Good. It sounded a little like that to me too."

"Well, I'm sorry. If you can't help me, maybe I'll …" Sheldon started to get up, but Lissa smacked him on the shoulder and waved off his comment.

"Look, Shel, you are one of the kindest, most giving people I know. I don't think choosing to do something for other people is ever a bad thing, and if it makes you feel better at the same time, go for it. I just wanted to make sure what the motive is here. It makes a difference about which places I suggest."

Sheldon sat down again, leaning forward, his weight on his arms, as if poised to leap to his feet again. He wasn't really sure what the motive was himself. All he knew was that he had to do something to give his life some focus.

Lissa took pity on the normally placid Hawkes as she watched the conflicting emotions run over his face. "Look. Let's meet for dinner tonight. I get off shift at 3:00. You?"

"Day off."

"Okay. Let's meet and I'll bring a list of some places for you to think about. How soon do you want to start saving the world?" She said it lightly, trying to erase some of the doubt she had sunk him in.

"Two of our CSIs are out for at least another month. So it couldn't be until then."

"Okay. Anything in particular you want to do?"

"I … don't know. I haven't really thought this out, I guess," he admitted, a little frustrated with himself.

She smiled at him, her deep brown eyes serene. "Then we'll work it out tonight. Over seafood."

He laughed. Seafood had been a wicked indulgence when they were students, and he immediately knew where to meet her.

"Mulvaney's at 6:00?"

"See you then. You're buying," she smiled.

"Me? How come I'm buying?" he said indignantly

"It's that caring, giving nature of yours, Shel." Her tone was mocking.

Laughing, he kissed her cheek and waved as she went back into the busy hospital.

-CSI:NY-CSI:NY-CSI:NY-CSI:NY-CSI:NY-

Stella looked up at Don. "What you are doing here? Aren't you off shift yet?"

"Got a DB in the park, thought you might want to go for a ride."

She flashed him a grin, "I have court at 1:00, and you know the other shift is on. Why didn't you ask one of the other investigators?"

He raised an eyebrow at her. "I could say it was because I only work with the best, but that wouldn't be the only reason."

Stella grabbed her jacket, putting her case information together to be delivered to the courthouse later. "You do only work with the best. So what would be the other reason?"

He waited until she was standing beside him in the doorway, moving slightly so his body blocked her. "You smell good."

Her breathing hitched as she felt his breath on her skin. "It's the shampoo – any salon'll get you the same smell."

He shook his head, "It's you."

Although he didn't touch her, Stella could feel the path his hands had traced over her body the night before, and her pulse began to race. She looked up at him, her green eyes smoky and bright. "You're obstructing an officer in the performance of her duty, Detective."

He didn't move for a minute; then he took a deliberate step back. "Got your kit?" His voice was cool and unaffected as he motioned for her to go ahead of him.

She smirked and added a little sway to her walk, knowing he was watching her. Without discussion, they moved towards the exit door for the stairs, preferring not to be under scrutiny in the elevator.

Stella made it to the first landing before Don caught up and moved in front of her, standing a step lower so their faces were level, and put his arms around her, catching her mouth before she could do more than say, "Not here, Don." She dropped her kit as her body warmed against his, her hands framing his face.

"I missed you," he whispered as the kiss ended, and he trailed his mouth down her throat.

"I missed you, too," Stella answered, moaning a little as he grazed her skin with his teeth.

"When are you off today?"

"After court, maybe by 5:00?" Her head was spinning and she couldn't quite remember her schedule.

"Call me when you're done, okay?" Don stepped back after giving her one quick final hug, and with the straightening of his tie, effortlessly shifted back into Detective Don Flack.

Stella nodded, although she had had every intention of telling him she couldn't see him that night. She needed to figure out what she wanted from all this, but at the moment, all she could feel was a burning need.