Sam woke to whispering and giggling, her head hurt and her whole body ached, particularly her neck,
"Mummy" she heard Jess say as the memories returned
Joliner burying into her neck hurting her friends especially Daniel with Share she wondered if he would ever truly forgive her, she knew she would never forgive herself she still was torn figuring it would be easier for everyone if she was dead, sure Jess would miss her but she would get over it,
"Mummy why are you sad?" Jess asked seeing a tear escape her mummy's eye, Sam gave a weak smile hugging Jess again, Cassie saw Sam needed space.
"Hey Jess lets go and get mummy some jell-o to cheer her up" Jess nodded kissing her mummies head and taking Cassie's hand enthusiastically discussing the best Jell-O flavours and which to get her mum.
Janet slipped in seeing a trace of a smile on Sam's lips
"How are you feeling?" Janet asked
"Fine" Sam said flatly ignoring all the pain she was in, she deserved it for all the pain she had caused to them and guilt that Joliner had died because of her and her friends. Janet looked doubting
"So does anywhere hurt?" She asked expecting an honest answer, Sam sighed knowing she couldn't lie when asked specifically
"Only my head, neck, and muscles" Sam admitted watching as Janet went from caring to pissed off
"Sam that would count as hurting, do you want anything for it?" Sam shook her head no
"How bad is it?" Janet questioned
"Its fine" Sam replied, Janet's eyes narrowed
"So it hurts like hell but you are being stubborn" Janet said seeing Sam's eyes drop as a confirmation, she sighed in frustration.
"Right painkillers and then we will have a serious talk" Janet warned as Sam winced dreading it already, Janet went to the cupboard to get out the paracetamol and MST tablets, Sam swallowing them with a glass of water. Luckily Jess and Cassie returned saving Sam from the talk Jess with a bowl of blue Jell-o and a slice of cake, Cassie with 2 bowls of blue Jell-o
"Mummy we brought jell-o I gotted the blue cus it our favourite and Cassie too, and Janet we gotted cake cus Cassie said that's what you eated" Janet smiled despite herself falling victim to the small girls charms especially when she gave her mum the Jell-o from Cassie,
"Now mummy you got Jell-o so you can't be sad any more" Jess said as if it was fact, Sam smiled as she took her first bite
"Yummy" she said appeasing Jess, Jess smiling and eating her own. When everyone had finished Daniel walked in
"Cassie, Jess I've come to take you home" he said, obediently Cassie went over, Jess stubbornly remained with her mum
"No, I don't wanna, I wanna stay here" she demanded
"Jessie" Sam said her voice low and warning
"No me stay with mummy" Jess demanded
"Jess go I will be fine"
"But mummy will get sad" Jess said, Sam sat up despite her whole body protesting
"Jess, I am sad but you cheered me up and I would be happier if you went with Uncle Daniel and Cassie to make sure they are ok cus I think Daniel might need a cuddle" Jess looked at her Uncle, he did seem a little sad, she jumped off the bed running and jumping into the surprised man's arms giving him a big kiss on the cheek, Daniel smiled, talking softly to her, Jess smiled waving her mum goodbye Cassie walking behind. Hammond entered as they were leaving followed by Jack seconds later
"Captain I'm sorry but we need to know what happened."
Janet sat on the edge of the bed patiently waiting for Sam to begin,
"I was giving CPR, he coughed and grabbed me pulling me to his lips, I felt it go in and trying to throw up but it took control pushing me into a box" Sam began her voice small and trembling, Janet rubbed her arm supportively while Jack took a position on the other side
"We came back and she started raiding my memories as to what was normal behaviour for us, I was trying to fight but it was impossible she was systematically sifting through my memories. I went to pick up the girls" Sam said skipping ahead
"He said I could have control but didn't do anything stupid or he would hurt Jess and Cassie so I didn't" Sam said looking down at her hands, Jack stopped her
"You made the right decision so no innocents got hurt" Jack said Sam giving a small smile grateful for his support
"I hugged Cassie and we realised so I avoided her I didn't want the snake to scare her, I guess that didn't work" Sam told them sadly blaming herself again, Janet spoke this time
"Cassie understands" Janet said
"She shouldn't have to" Sam replied raising her voice angry that they were letting her off so easily
"She has had enough crap without dealing with this" Sam told them, they couldn't deny it
"Sam, Cassie loves you she is just glad you are yourself again" Jack said sincerely and softly, Janet and Hammond nodding their agreement
"But am I?" she asked fearing there answer
"Sure Sam" Jack said confidently
"Anyway Sam carry on" Janet said deciding they could re-visit this later
"He wanted to go home more than anything," Sam said thinking back
"When you discovered him he never gave up hope that he would return to the other Gould's" Sam said deep in memories that she had
"Then the Asrak came in he was scared but ready to accept his fate, it hurt like hell, as if someone was pulling you head apart splitting it in 2, I have never known anything so painful ever, I wanted to die, but Joliner decided I should live and died saving me" Sam said sadly regretting that Joliner had died and feeling guilty for her part,
Hammond glanced at Janet leaving quietly as did Janet leaving Jack and Sam alone, Jack took Sam's hand
"Sam look at me, Joliner invaded your mind took you prisoner played you against us, made you co-operate to ensure the safety of others" Jack said trying to remember what they called it
"It was privy to your mind, your inner most thoughts and feelings, it saved your life you are going to feel sadness for him, its only natural the question now is are you going to let its sacrifice be for nothing and let the Gould win or are you going to us it to help us and continue fighting?" He asked hoping his talk had been peppy enough.
Sam sat silently thinking about what he said
"You are right Sir but I won't serve on an active team again but I will stay at the SGC" Sam decided sticking to her pre-Joliner decision, Jack nodded his support,
"Get some rest Carter" He ordered patting her arm and leaving her in peace, Sam smiled as she lay back to rest glad she had such a protective team.
Taking Colonel's O'Neill's advice she closed her eyes trying to block out the sounds of the infirmary successfully falling into the deep sleep her body required to recover from Joliner,
She was in such a deep sleep she didn't hear the grunt as the guard was zatted or feel the needle that went into her IV, instead was in a dreamless sleep.
The NID men followed his orders wordless swapping the guard for the Captain and reattaching everything, then covering him up with the blanket so at first glance of any nurses they would see a lump curled up on their side. Carefully they picked up the sleeping Captain placing her in a box and wheeling her out, not realising they were under the watchful eye of a Jaffa, who alerted security to let the box go, it was hard but if they wanted the big fish they would have to wait patiently. Looking at his tracker he could see the red dot was on the move, it was time to mobilise the troops.
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