"Singin' in the Rain?"

"Yeah, you know. We'll have a nice night in, cuddle by the TV, eat some popcorn. It's been awhile."

"Yes," I say slowly. "It has been awhile."

This wasn't what I imagined when we dropped Jonathan off at the airport earlier today. (He and Michael agreed to their usual month together this summer.) After all, Sam lives in the dorms, even in the summer. Billy has returned to his grandmother. We are freer than we've ever been, and closer than we've ever been. But Tony wants to spend the evening watching a classic musical.

And six months ago, that would've been enough. Hell, three months ago, before our trip to Washington, it would've been lovely, a nice cozy evening with my best friend. But I was hoping that things would change now.

He had his head turned by yet another pretty woman. I told Mother that Tony always comes back to me, which he does, even after Frankie, even after Kathleen. I didn't think Christine was a threat on that level. But Mother convinced me to fight for Tony, because someday he might not come back.

She also convinced me to tell him, then show him, and then tell him again how I feel. I wasn't able to say I love him. I settled for "like" and a sweet little kiss. Even that seemed to catch him off guard. But when he said it was show & tell and he likes that game, Ingrid made me say, "We should play it more often."

And I left it at that, till our anniversary. Tony & Angela's I mean, not Anthony & Ingrid's. This July marked the seventh anniversary of when Tony and Sam moved in with me and Jonathan. I'm not as superstitious as Mother is, but seven is a very significant number. OK, even if it had been six or eight, I would've felt the need to clarify what Tony and I are to each other.

I decided to buy him a watch, something personal and symbolic. After all, hasn't time been a big factor in our relationship? I wanted the watch engraved, something to sum up all he means to me. The jeweler wasn't much help, with his ironic teasing that I must've met Tony at camp. At last I hit upon the perfect message: "It's time I said I love you."

Then I started to have doubts, especially after I told Mother. I thought it might be too forward, too much, too Ingridy. Well, not that Ingrid ever told Anthony that she loves him. But she could! She's bold enough. I'm not, usually.

Mother was convinced that Tony bought me lingerie. Talk about bold! Yes, he bought me a replacement teddy for the one ripped on Anthony & Ingrid's "honeymoon," but I think it was with the understanding that Ingrid would wear it at the next reunion. And then Kathleen happened and everything was thrown off track. Anyway, for Tony to buy Angela lingerie for their, our, anniversary would be a different matter, a statement that it was time to integrate the Anthony & Ingrid aspect of our lives into everyday life.

And then it turned out to be slipcovers for my Jaguar! Something to slip on that would be soft against my skin.

Mother wanted Tony to open my gift to him, but now I was convinced it had been too forward. Tony got me something thoughtful and practical. The watch would've been that without the dedication. I told Tony that it wasn't ready because it didn't have the "attachment." And I meant the attachment of him for me. I seriously considered having the engraving removed before I presented it to him.

His plans for the evening further convinced me that I had been premature. He wanted a family outing to the carnival. And again, a few months ago this would've made me happy, a fun family outing where maybe Tony and I could flirt a little, as we have been, cautiously, since we both stopped seeing other people. (Andy didn't like how much time I was spending with Billy, so we broke up. And I couldn't seriously start dating again after that.)

But I couldn't just relax and enjoy myself at the carnival, with this weighing on me. Mother orchestrated things so that Tony and I could have some time alone. I suggested the fortuneteller, curious to see if she could indeed predict the future. Tony reluctantly agreed to go.

Madame Alexandra predicted a change in one of Tony's relationships. He said he was happy with all his relationships. "The last seven years have been just perfect, and I'd like the next seven years to be the same." And then he joked about his barber!

I was furious, at him and even more at myself. I ran off and when Tony found me he said that the fortuneteller told him that that night he ran the risk of losing his true love forever. He thought it was crazy, but I thought it was time I gave him the watch. But I didn't stick around to see his reaction.

Before, I had imagined presenting it to him in private, his face lighting up, him shyly telling me, "Gee, Angela, I, I love you, too."

But now I figured he'd read it and see what a fool I was. So be it. I used to fear telling him, losing him. But better to just get this out in the air, completely. And be done with it. I'd spent enough pretending about Tony.

He caught up with me again, this time at the shooting gallery, and the way I felt, well, let's just say that it's lucky that I only hit a sleuth of teddy bears. He told me how much he loved the watch and what it said. I was still angry that he couldn't say he loved me, so I said I hoped he and the watch would be very happy together.

And again, I ran away from him. I guess in a way I hoped subconsciously he would keep chasing me. Because I was definitely the only person alone in a swan-boat in the Tunnel of Love. Well, alone until he climbed into my boat.

He kept insisting he wanted to kiss me. But it didn't sound particularly romantic. He finally admitted that Madame Alexandra said he had to kiss me by midnight or lose me forever. That still didn't sound all that romantic, an insurance kiss.

And then he said that if there was one chance in a million he could lose me, he didn't want to take it. I asked why. And then he blurted out, " 'Cause I love you!"

I stared at him, unable to believe the moment had finally arrived. He looked just as shocked as I was. I quietly asked, "What did you say?"

He replied, "What did you hear?", as if he could possibly unsay it. We've done our best to ignore all the things that Ingrid & Anthony have shared, but this was us. And we were both fully conscious.

After some hesitation, he admitted he said it. And he repeated it, with clarification: "I love you. I've loved you for a long time. And the only reason why I haven't said it before is I was afraid of losing what we have. But, um, if loving you's gonna ruin that, then I'm willing to ruin it."

What a change from before! At last no more fear of losing each other as friends.

I was surprised and touched. I asked, "You would ruin our friendship for love?"

He said he'd do it in a second. He'd throw it in the garbage, spit on it, and flush it down the toilet. And again I was touched. All right, it's not the most romantic speech I've ever heard, nothing like what I'm used to from books and movies, but it was so very Tony. I told him it was beautiful.

Then we leaned towards each other and kissed, a long, sweet kiss. I put my hand on his chest as his hand went on my back. I wanted to kiss him forever!

And then the carnival closed. We knew we could be locked in there all night, now with the lights off, but that didn't sound bad at all. We playfully and quietly yelled for help and then went back to kissing, now with my hand running over his stubbly hair, his other hand on my shoulder, and then stroking my arm.

How far would things have gone had a carny not found us five minutes later? He didn't seem surprised to discover a lingering couple, although he did seem surprised that we weren't exactly teenagers. "Listen, Ace," he told Tony, "it's late. I gotta lock up. You take the missus home."

I was going to explain that Tony and I weren't married, but Tony patted my arm and said, "Honey, he's right. Let's find the kids and your mother and head home."

So we did. I don't know if the family suspected anything but they didn't say anything. Perhaps they figured, as they had on the train to Washington, that if nothing had happened after all that time, nothing ever would.

Tony gave me a melting look when he told me goodnight. My own voice was tender on "Goodnight, Tony." As I went upstairs, I wished he would follow me, not just to the second floor but into my bedroom. But of course we couldn't do anything with Jonathan so close by.

And maybe it would've been rushing things to have taken it further that night, in the Tunnel of Love or elsewhere. After all, there was so much change to get used to. Tony and I had admitted our love for each other, not just the love of family or the love of best friends, or even (thank you, Mother) the love you have for your housekeeper. And we had sealed it with a kiss. Many kisses.

When I chose that dedication, I hadn't known what would happen next. How could I? I'm no fortuneteller. It was a very scary but necessary risk. And I'd been rewarded beyond my hopes.

But what was next? Now that we'd admitted our feelings, could we truly pursue a physical relationship, as ourselves, not as our sometime alter egos?

I lay awake most of the night wondering, thinking of Tony just yards away, wondering if he was thinking of me. Isn't that funny, I slept peacefully when I was beside him on the train. But then I hadn't had any hopes or expectations at that point. I just knew that it felt good and right to be next to him again.

But the next day after the carnival, when I was eager to explore our newfound happiness, he felt self-conscious about us being affectionate in front of Jonathan. I guess I should've expected that. He was always the one who was more skittish about Ingrid & Anthony in our home.

He said he needed time to adjust and maybe some practice kissing at home. But when we tried to kiss, Mother walked in, so he pretended he was dislodging a fishbone I'd swallowed. (At breakfast?)

When we next had a moment alone, he said he didn't want the family to know just yet, because they wouldn't respect our privacy. I understood how he felt, but I asked if we were supposed to sneak around like a couple of teenagers. I did not say, "This isn't why we declared our love to each other, to go back to the Ingrid & Anthony craziness."

But then it was Anthony, I'm sure it was, who spoke to me of secret moments, stolen kisses. And it was appealing, even if it wasn't what I'd hoped for.

And then, I don't know, we got caught in a web of lies and deception. That was mostly my fault, since Tony didn't seem able to think on his feet as well as I could that day. The best he could offer was signing us in at a hotel as Mr. and Mrs. Irving Gladstone, which I know he stole from Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate. As for me, well, not to brag, but no wonder I'm such a success in advertising. I just reeled off one story after another, although it didn't occur to me that Mother and the kids would compare stories later.

Uh, yes, about the hotel. Well, Tony had prepared a beautiful romantic dinner for two. He set up the little table where we'd had our anniversary dinner five years ago. (A night that ended in his first "Angela, I love you.") This time we were right by the fire. He put the lights on low, with a sultry instrumental on the stereo. He'd roasted a duck and chilled the champagne. I had teased him in the kitchen that I would tell him later what we were having for dessert.

It really felt like we could at last be somewhere in between Ingrid & Anthony and Angela & Tony. Loving, affectionate, but also steamy.

And then Mother showed up! My first impulse was that we should hide. I know, hiding from my mother, at my age, in the home I bought and paid for. But Tony and I scrambled to clear up the evidence of our romantic dinner, and then we hid ourselves in the back hallway, by my office.

Mother had bailed on the advertising banquet she'd promised to cover. I was very angry with her, but there was nothing I could do about it. Once Mother left, I suggested to Tony that we leave, but then Jonathan came home, sneaking a girl into the house! And I couldn't be tough and/or maternal, because I was sneaking around with Tony. In fact, we hid in a broom closet.

Tony and I agreed we had to be someplace alone. And so we went to a hotel but, as always, not quite as ourselves. We, he especially, were more nervous than in the past. Maybe because this time we would be ourselves in bed. But when we tried to kiss, we were interrupted by the air conditioner repairman. It was that kind of night.

Tony was so angry and frustrated that he ended up yanking the air conditioner out of the wall for the repairman to take with him. Then Tony ranted that the mood was destroyed and he couldn't get it back. But I knew Ingrid could. She kissed the mood back into him. I couldn't help teasing, "You are so easy."

And then we were bothered by mosquitoes. Even when we camped at the Rock, we hadn't had to worry about mosquitoes. But they were coming through the hole in the window.

So we checked out of the hotel. Obviously, we did not ask for a refund.

And then he drove my slipcovered Jag out to a quiet spot by the lake. We talked about the evening and wondered if this was all a sign that truly getting together wasn't meant to happen, at least not that night.

We agreed to just let it happen when it happens, in its own natural way. We kissed each other's cheek in turn. And then he kissed my ear! So I kissed and nuzzled that strong but sensitive neck of his. And then we kissed like crazy!

So crazy that my foot hit the parking brake, and we plunged into the lake! I suppose we could've swum for the shore, but Tony's not a very good swimmer. (He'll go on the water, and he'll go up to his waist in water, but he's like a cat when it comes to going underwater.)
"Tony, I don't think I can carry you."

"It's OK, Angela, save yourself! Remember me to the kids and Mona!"

"Tony, don't be so melodramatic."

"OK, Angela, here's what we do. You swim for shore and walk to the nearest inhabited building."

"In a little black dress and spiked heels?"

"You want my jacket?"

"Tony, why don't I just call the police on my car phone?"

"OK, that could work, too."

So I did and an officer on a motorbike showed up awhile later, with blankets and a rope. He threw the rope out to us and Tony secured it to the car. Then the policeman pulled Tony in while I swam to shore, yes, in a little black dress and spiked heels.

We wrapped ourselves in the big blue blankets as the officer wrote up his report. Since there was no other vehicle involved, I hoped that this would be the end of it. And then Mother and the kids showed up.

I tried to come up with a cover story that would cover all the cover stories, but Tony thought we should just say we wanted to be alone and leave it at that. Well, he was right before, you can't just leave it at that, not in this family. They were very suspicious about how the car ended up in the lake.

And then Tony took me in his arms and said we should just tell them the truth. They didn't seem terribly surprised when Tony told them he loves me, but he's told them that for years, in the sense of family and friendship. So he clarified that we're in love, and Mother almost fainted! The kids were delighted, as I always hoped they'd be.

When Mother asked why we'd snuck around, we both said we'd wanted time to adjust. I wonder what Mother would say if she knew about Ingrid & Anthony. I know she's been suspicious, over the years, about those August business trips of mine, but she's never directly confronted me about them.

And then the Action News team showed up. When the reporter stuck a microphone in Tony's face, he defaulted to Irving Gladstone. And it was up to me to salvage the situation with a cover story to explain how the Jaguar got in the lake. (It involved star-gazing on the roof, which actually would be nice to do with Tony sometime, although not by the lake.)

After that eventful 24 hours, he and I backed off, deciding that we wouldn't pursue the physical side, beyond kissing, just yet. So then we entered a new phase, where he doted on me, making lots of thoughtful little gestures. He called me Bunny-Lips and liked it when I called him Zeus.

It was sweet but a bit obsessive. I wasn't used to him being so demonstrative in that way. And I started to feel smothered. But we talked about it, and he admitted he'd been feeling insecure about us, because I was less demonstrative.

At that point, I hadn't wanted to be too Ingridy, and I guess I overcompensated, to the point that he and Mother called me a cold fish. So I've tried to be more demonstrative, but it's difficult to not be too warm and cross over into hot.

Yes, I've thought of suggesting we go away for some Ingrid & Anthony time, but as I said, I want to move beyond that phase of our relationship. Perhaps it was necessary between the time we first kissed as adults and our recent admission of love, but why should we drive upstate when we've got the house to ourselves for a month?

He now says, "Or were you thinkin'—I mean, I don't know, Angela, maybe we shouldn't fool around in the house."

"Even when Jonathan's gone?"

"Well, yeah. Because if we fool around when he's not here, then it's going to be really frustrating when he is here. And I don't want to spend the next two years resenting him."

"The next two years?"

"Yeah, till he leaves for college."

"Oh, I see." How am I going to last two years of not fully being with Tony? I've never had to do that before, if you count in the Anthony & Ingrid times. And it's already been sixteen months since our Easter weekend at the Moonlight Motel. So, really, it would be three years and four or five months total till we can be alone all the time. That's far too long.

"Well," I say, "you get the popcorn started and put in the movie, and I'll go upstairs and change into something more comfortable."

"Uh, Angela, when you say 'more comfortable.' "

"Just a sweatshirt and shorts, Tony."

"Oh, yeah, that's fine."

I'm sure that he was afraid I'd put on my replacement teddy or something equally seductive. But if there's one thing that Ingrid has taught me, it's that there is more than one way to seduce Anthony Morton Micelli.