The next day saw them all busy as bees. Kathryn had been woken by the red alert klaxons blaring at 3.30. Harry had informed her that a security alarm had been triggered by increased levels of neutron radiation. Of course, the warp core had chosen that time to cause trouble, meaning they had to limp out of the danger zone at impulse speed. By then, it was already noon, and she'd been busy doling out assignments. Everything had been fairly hectic.

The real slammer came at about 1600 hours, though, when all senior officers were gathered in the conference room to update each other. B'Elanna and Seven already had their assignments. Fused relays, overheated plasma and misaligned matter injectors all needed their attention if Voyager was going to go anywhere anytime soon.

Kathryn had been aggravated all morning, so when she handed out assignments, no one even tried to argue. Almost no one. Tom Paris simply refused to run a detailed systems analysis and report to Sickbay as soon as he was done. He couldn't hold her gaze, though, when he said he was too busy already. Kathryn dismissed everyone but Tom and Chakotay. She wasn't sure she trusted herself not to throw him in the brig if he refused a direct order, so she counted on Chakotay's level-headedness.

"Mr Paris, please enlighten me what's important enough to neglect your duties during an emergent situation." She was having trouble keeping her voice calm.

Tom glanced at Chakotay, then met her gaze defiantly. "I'm very sorry, captain, but I'm not at liberty to say."

Kathryn felt her mouth open in disbelief. She'd had to endure some serious cheek at the hands of Tom Paris, but this was something else. Her blood was boiling, everything that popped into her head a more severe punishment than the last. She tried and failed to compose her voice as she stepped close to Chakotay, her back to Tom. "Please handle this."

She stormed out, still fuming at Tom's audacity.

The two men exited the conference room a mere five minutes later, and Kathryn forced herself not to look away. Tom looked subdued and guilty, with Chakotay almost mirroring his expression. That was strange. Her anger had cooled a bit, but it was still dangerously close to the surface. She resolved to just ask Chakotay about it when he sat down. With any luck, she'd keep her temper while on the bridge.

Chakotay sank down in his chair a little while later, voicing his exhaustion with a groan.

"What a day. I dread Doc's radiation findings. We were in that zone for much too long."

She knew he was looking at her. Her skin tingled in just the right way, but she was still annoyed, so she turned slowly in her chair and levelled him with an earnest look.

He flushed guiltily, something he almost never did, and waited for her to speak.

When she did, her tone was measured. "Chakotay, you know better than anyone that we need to put up a united front if we want our leadership to be effective. I really hope you didn't have anything to do with Tom's outrageous behaviour."

Chakotay looked remorseful. "In Tom's defence, I asked him to do me a favour that is rather time consuming."

Kathryn sighed and covered her eyes with her hand. The darkness helped calm her a little. Enough to keep her from disciplining her first officer where everybody could see. That would be counterproductive. When she looked back up, she thought she saw genuine fear in Chakotay's eyes. She lowered her voice. "Did that favour have anything to do with your surprise?" She was still fuming, but his expression had softened her enough to let it slide.

Chakotay nodded, looking confused.

"I'll let both of you off easy just this once, but be aware that just because you have a date with the captain doesn't mean you're exempt from punishment." Kathryn was painfully aware that she was breaching protocol, allowing personal feelings to govern a command decision. Somehow she couldn't care enough, tough, and that scared her.

She kept to herself after that as much as their situation allowed, trying to make up her mind if that afternoon's decision had been a one-time thing or if she'd have to be exceedingly careful in matters regarding Chakotay. She finally settled on the latter. It wasn't fair to anyone to give Chakotay any kind of preferential treatment.

She tapped her combadge. "Janeway to Tuvok."

"Go ahead, captain."

Hearing the Vulcan's controlled voice usually helped ground her, but this time it made her nervous. "Could I see you in my ready room?"

As was his custom, the Vulcan was prompt, entering only two minutes later. "You wished to see me, captain," he stated when she turned to face him, freshly replicated coffee in hand.

She nodded and invited him to sit with her. He was reluctant, but complied.

She sighed after she had inhaled the scent of her coffee. She knew he wasn't partial to coffee and was unlikely to want anything else to drink, so that method of stalling was out.

"Tuvok, we've been friends for many years now, and I've come to you when I needed my moral compass checked."

Tuvok inclined his head, listening patiently for her question.

She took a deep breath. "As it so happens, I might have to call on your services slightly more often in the foreseeable future."

That made him raise one of his magnificent eyebrows. "Captain?"

Kathryn loved seeing his mind at work. "In your capacity not as security chief, but as my friend, I feel the need to come clean about something. I'm aware that you don't need to know intimate details about my life ..."

If he were human, she was sure Tuvok would have smiled. "Yet I suspect you are about to tell me anyway."

Kathryn felt a grin tugging at her lips. "I hope you don't mind."

He put his hands together. "Not at all, captain."

She took another sip of coffee to put off actually telling her oldest friend about her upcoming date. When she looked back up, he appeared almost curious. "I'm going on a date with Commander Chakotay." She cursed the blush that crept into her cheeks at those words.

Tuvok studied her intently. "Am I correct in assuming that, judging by your biological reaction, you are not referring to your regular dinners with the commander when you say 'date'?"

Kathryn was grateful that he didn't launch right into a speech about why she was in violation of Starfleet regulations. She was sure logic told him that humans craved intimate companionship. "You are correct. Which is also why I might need your help, at least for the time being. I don't want to treat Chakotay any differently from the rest of the officers, but I've noticed that I'm having trouble being impartial where he is concerned."

Tuvok nodded sagely. "A sound assessment. Humans are often governed by sympathies. What would you like me to do?"

Kathryn put down her mug and rested her elbows on her knees. "Tell me whenever you feel like I'm giving him an advantage over someone else. And maybe examine some of my command decisions where he is concerned." She cringed inwardly. She hated admitting to weakness and giving Tuvok permission to question her orders was one of the more humiliating things she'd had to do. Yet, Kathryn knew it was the right thing to do. At least for the time being.

Chakotay came to regret going to Tom with his favour. Of course he couldn't have foreseen the emergency, but Tom could also have been a little more subtle about refusing to do what Kathryn asked of him. Now she was angry at both of them, and his surprise was probably tainted by the incident. He barely saw Kathryn all day. She stayed in her ready room, alone for the most part, and Chakotay reluctantly decided to give her the space she obviously needed.

He didn't have too long to dwell on that, though, because he was late for his meeting with Tom. When he reached holodeck one, the programme was already running. Tom had dubbed it "Surprise Sigma Six". Chakotay suspected that he'd chosen the name because of the alliteration and not because he'd actually created that many surprise programmes.

He entered the holodeck and the force of the deja vú he experienced actually rooted him to the spot for a moment. He made a mental note never to doubt Tom's holodeck wizardry again. This programme was amazing. He'd stepped through the doors and directly into his own memory of New Earth. There was the shelter, Kathryn's garden ... even the tub. Chakotay had hesitated to include this for Tom to see, but he had to trust the man to keep his word and not blab. Everything looked, felt, and even smelled authentic.

He carefully ventured further, irrationally afraid that the beautiful vista would disappear like a mirage. When he reached the tub, he rested his hands on the rim wistfully, trying to picture what would have happened if they'd faced their feelings sooner.

"That doesn't look like a Starfleet issue tub," he suddenly heard Tom say. He jumped in surprise. He hadn't heard him approach.

Chakotay turned his head. "That's because it's not. I built it." He ran his hands reverently across the smooth wood.

Tom copied him and let out a low whistle. "If we ever get stuck on another uninhabited planet, remind me to be on your team."

They walked over to the shelter. "So, how do you like it?"

Chakotay looked around. "It's fantastic. It almost feels like I'm back there again."

Tom seemed pleased. "I used the telemetry from our databases and combined it with what you gave me. I hope I didn't miss anything."

Chakotay strolled around the camp, trying to compare it to his mental image. It seemed complete enough ... "George!"

Tom furrowed his brow. "Come again?"

"Oh, there was this primate that the captain tried to communicate with. He used to come visit from time to time." He looked around as if trying to spot him after all.

"I can try to add it to the programme ... there are a number of animals already ... another primate shouldn't be too complex," Tom amended, tapping something into his padd.

Chakotay shook his head. "Don't. It wouldn't be the same. This is prefect, let's not change a thing."

Tom shrugged. "Call me if you change your mind." He handed Chakotay the padd. "Computer, save programme and transfer controls to Commander Chakotay."

"Thanks, Tom. I owe you one."

The helmsman flashed a brilliant smile. "I'm sure I'll think of something. But first, I'll go apologise to the captain. Don't worry, I won't give you away."

"You might as well. Just don't go into anything too specific."

Chakotay stayed a while longer, enjoying the warm sunshine on his face. It was easy to forget how wonderful it was to lounge in the sun, simply enjoying nature. He focused on the colours the sun created against his closed eyelids. Maybe this programme could become a regular respite from his duties ... maybe he could share it with Kathryn ...

He was tempted to call her, and had in fact just raised his hand to his combadge, when he remembered that she was probably still mad at him. He hadn't really apologised, after all ...

He sighed. "Computer, end programme."

The scene vanished, leaving Chakotay in a seemingly very dark and cold holodeck.