Everything happened then on in one big blur.
I didn't let her go, and kept trying to carry her out. My left arm was so weak, I didn't know why, and I couldn't carry her. I just couldn't.
I wanted to get away from the dark tunnel, from the cheers and screams and people all around me. Someone grabbed my shoulder, but most of my vision was blurred from the water in my eyes that hadn't yet fallen.
"Clarke. Give her to me" I blinked away the tears to clear my vision to look at Lexa's guard, Ryder. He was looking down at his commander, worry striking every feature of his body.
"I can't let her go..." I said, looking down as well. Her eyes were closed, but her chest was still rising and falling, blood still seeping through her once-brown shirt.
"You can't carry her." He bent down to gently lift her from my arms to his. She looked so small, his strong arms wrapping around her protectively. "I will get her to safety." Ryder began walking out of the dark mine toward the exit, and I followed close behind. I couldn't leave her, not like this.
"Clarke!" Someone shouted from behind me. I couldn't see who, but it took me out of my trance. I looked around at the wounded desperately trying to get out, the warriors heading in, and the bodies laying around me. My arm was pounding, like my heart had moved to rest in my bicep, and I wanted to go. Go be with her, go and get away from this damned mountain. But these were my people, they were fighting for me, they were fighting and I couldn't leave them.
I watched Ryder make it out of the tunnel and head downhill. I watched until I couldn't see the them anymore. I watched what might be the last time I saw her alive again, and then I turned and ran back in to fight.
"How do you not notice that you got shot?" My mother asked as she wrapped my left arm with a bandage.
"I didn't have time to think" I said "Shouldn't you be taking care of Lexa? She needs you more than I do" I looked at the strong commander laying under a thin sheet. A heart monitor and IV were hooked up to her. Her eyes were still closed, even though I keep praying for them to open. For green eyes to stare back at me.
My mother sighed, finishing up her task and sitting down alongside me. "I've done everything I could. I took out two bullets without much complication, but she lost a lot of blood. It's up to her now, Clarke" she said, laying her hand on my knee and giving it a quick squeeze. "It's only been two days, she's strong"
I nodded and rubbed circles with my thumb on Lexa's hand. My mother eventually left to tend to all the others wounded in battle. We won the war, most of the Mountain Men died, and the innocent were spared but still heavily guarded by our people in the mountain. We lost many warriors, but saved many more. Thirty-seven of my people were saved from inside the Mountain, and many more grounders were let free from the cages.
I could feel the excitement from everyone, cheers still going on and drinks passed around two days later. They knew Lexa was shot, and they knew it could go bad, but they celebrated in her honor. Most weren't worried, as they believed that if she were to die, her spirit would just go on to the next Commander. The ones who showed signs of worry were those close to her. Indra checked in every now and then, and Ryder never left the entrance to her room. I haven't yet moved since I came back.
She didn't look like herself. I knew it was lexa, she had all the same features, but she seemed so fragile now. Her body looked so small and weak, like she was already dead, and her face showed no sign of emotion, just a blank expression that lets out breaths of air. I held her hand and never let go, just waiting for her to squeeze my hand, to show me that she was still in there. I laid my head down on the edge of her bed, closing my eyes to hold back the tears trying once again to fall.
I was awoken by a strong shaking of my shoulder, which hurt like hell, and Raven saying my name over and over again. "Ouch" I said and lifted my head.
"Sorry.." she mumbled. She quickly scanned her eyes over Lexa, but returned her gaze to me. "They need you out there" she said
"No. I'm not leaving her" I said, rubbing my eyes with my free hand. "They don't need me"
"They do actually. Clarke, the Grounders don't trust your mother, they trust you. They have no commander Clarke, and they keep asking for you" I sighed heavily, looking at Lexa's face. Why couldn't she just open her eyes. "Clarke, you have to go. I'll stay with her okay? I promise to watch over her" Raven said, pulling me up by my good arm and taking my seat. I nodded, took one last glance at the girl in the bed and walked out.
Bellamy caught up to me as I made my way toward the Grounders' side of camp. "Hey." he said awkwardly. He hadn't talked to me since we came back from Mount weather, and he didn't visit me or Lexa in the infirmary, which I didn't think was very cool of him.
"What's wrong with the Grounders?" I asked
"They want their commander. They say they need a leader, that they won their fight and now they want to go" He said as we walked into the Grounders' main tent. Indra stood at the front of the table, Octavia right behind her, arguing with a big Grounder about something in Trigedasleng. Other Grounders stood around the table, some shouting in agreement or in frustration, others nodding and staying quiet. They quieted when I walked over to Indra, who nodded her head to greet me.
"What is troubling you?" I asked the group. I wanted to sound like I actually gave a damn, even though the only thing on my mind was getting back to her.
The Grounder Indra was arguing with spoke up. "We do not belong here anymore. We are done the fight, and now we should return to our old village" He stated, some nodding in agreement around him.
"Why would you not belong here anymore?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
"We have fought, but now we are done. We do not belong with Sky People" He said with a hint of a smirk.
I shook my head. "And how do you not belong with Sky people? Sky People fought to get your people out, we stood alongside you and fought. Your Commander believed in the unity of our people, and we will not break that unity." I said, raising my voice.
"But the fight is over. This is not our home" He said sternly.
"This is our home. We left our old village and we've started a new life here. Our Commander trusts the Sky People, and so should we" Indra intervened.
"The Commander isn't here anymore" He said, with a full smirk this time. I lost it.
I slammed my fist on the table, getting shocked expressions from everyone. All eyes were staring at me now. "Your Commander took two bullets trying to help your injured. She is fighting to stay alive while you're trying to leave. You will all stay here, whether you like it or not" I yelled, shutting up any other objections. I marched out of the tent, Bellamy following suit.
"Wow, you showed them Princess" he said, a small chuckle coming from his throat. I ignored him, heading back toward Lexa when someone else shouted my name. I stopped, rolled my eyes and turned to see my mother walking toward me, Kane following in her trail.
"Clarke, we have to talk about the people in Mount Weather" she said, stopping infront of me.
"We have to discuss this now?" I asked, getting a strong nod from both. They turned back from where they came from, motioning me to follow them back into the Ark.
We were discussing treatments for the Reapers when I heard my name being called for a third time. I turned to see a panting Raven running toward me through the hall. She stopped and laid a hand on the table for support. "She's awake" she said through breaths. She said something else after that, but I had already ran too far to hear.
I pushed the door to the infirmary open and ran to her bed. People were crowded around, so I couldn't see her. Ryder was at the foot of her bed, Indra, Octavia and Lincoln surrounding her. I pushed through to see green eyes already looking at me. "Princess" she said softly.
I could feel a tear already falling down my face as I wrapped my arms around her neck and pulled her into me. An Ow could be heard from her, but I didn't let go for a few moments, completely ignoring the group of people surrounding us. I finally let her go just so I could see her face, to see her eyes looking at me, her mouth smirking that adorable smirk she saves only for me. "You're awake" I said, letting out a big breath of air.
"I am" she said and then turned to the others. "Could you all give a few minutes" she said, and they all turned to leave reluctantly.
I held onto her hand again, kissing her cheek as soon as we were alone. "You had me so worried Lexa" I muttered as another tear rolled down my face. She lifted her hand to wipe it off, the smirk still plastered on her face.
"I'm guessing you missed me Sky girl" she said with a laugh, pulling my face in to press our lips together.
I pulled back a little after a few seconds, laying my forehead to hers. "Don't you ever scare me again like that" I said, hugging into her again.