Trigger warning: allusions to sexual assault, and mentions of bullying
BlairPOV-
''Have you noticed how much Rachel Berry hates me?''
Kate looks up from the CD stand where she is shifting through the cases,looking for a movie for our date night.
The Sadies Hawkins dance is tonight, so Burt and Carole won't be back until nearly midnight. The dance is over at 10, but they're taking everyone of the glee kids that are attending the dance out afterwards, and dropping a few off at home.
''What!,'' Kate furrows her eyebrows, ''She does not.''
''She does,'' I clear my throat, flipping my hair and preparing to do my best Rachel impression, '' 'Mr. Schuster, it's clear that some people still do not understand the way that glee club is run'. It's not my fault that Mr. Schuster wants me to have the solo at regionals.''
''Awww,'' Kate sticks in the CD before flopping down next to me, ''She's jealous. You, her, Mercedes and Santana are the best female singers in glee. Rachel does not like sharing the spotlight.''
''I don't get it though. Mercedes and Santana are competitive, yeah, but they're not vicious about it,'' I point out as she relaxes into my arms, and I try to stay focused on the matter at hand, and not on the little bit of cleavage exposed by her top.
''I don't want to talk about that, though,'' she sits up, smiling shyly at me ,''I want to makeout with my incredibly hot girlfriend.''
''Well, if you insist,'' I let her pull me down on top of her, kissing her.
Of course, things get heated. Her hand is reaching under my shirt, my hand pushing her already sinfully short skirt up her thigh.
''You okay,'' I pant out before trailing kisses down her neck.
''Y-yeah. I think… Blair, I want to sleep with you.''
I freeze, and Kate tenses under me.
''What,'' I lean back to stare into glasz eyes, searching for any indication that thats a lie.
''I'm ready to sleep with you. I want you to be my first,'' she nods, voice full of conviction, ''Unless you don't want to-''
''No!,'' I speak too quickly, too loudly, ''I mean, yes. I… I want that too.''
She grins then, ''Well, we don't have all night. Let's do this.''
''What, right here?''
''Yeah,'' she nods, brushing some hair out of her face, ''I really care about you. I don't want to wait anymore.''
''If you're sure,'' I lean back in, brushing my lips against hers, ''Ready?''
''Yeah,'' Kate's breathless, nodding again, ''I'm ready.''
I pull her into a searing kiss, smirking to myself when she groans into it, and moving my hands to the buttons of her shirt.
We take things slow, because this is her first time. Sabrina was patient with me. The least I could do is be just as patient, if not more, with my girlfriend.
''You okay,'' I whisper into her ear, pulling her shirt off.
''Y-yeah,'' her voice cracks.
And I know what that means: She's lying.
''Katy,'' I pull back to look at her, but she won't make eye contact with me, ''Kate, why are you crying?''
''I'm sorry,'' she chokes out, ''I really, really thought that I could do this. I sh-should- I should be able to do this for you-''
''Katy!''
''Because I wanna keep you,'' she continues, ''I'm trying to be what you want, but I don't know how to do that. This isn't me, it's you and it's Santana. I'm just-''
Her sob cuts her off, and I sit up, pulling her into my arms.
''Hey,'' I whisper when her crying softens to whimpers, ''You don't have to do this for me. I don't ever want you to feel pressured into something because of me, alright? I know how that feels.''
I've been there before, and it still haunts me. I wouldn't wish h
Kate nods weakly, and I press a kiss to the top of her head.
''Blair,'' she speaks sometime later, voice still quiet and fragile ,''What did you mean earlier? When you said 'I know how that feels'?''
Silence consumes up, and I feel my blood turn cold. This is it. The conversation I've skilfully avoided having with anyone other than Sabrina and my doctor.
''I have to tell you something. I need you to listen to the whole story, and if you want to break up afterwards, I'd understand.''
Kate sits up then, moving so she's sitting across from me, ''Is it bad?''
I bite my lip, ''I'm just going to be honest, okay? At my old school, before Crawford, we had a Sadies Hawkins dance. I had just come out of the closet. So I went with my friend, the only other openly gay girl in the school. When we were waiting for her mom to pick us up, these group of guys came and...''
Even now, it still hurts. Of course it does. I've never allowed myself time to heal, if I even can. I push it back, keeping it buried with all of my other secrets. That way, no one else can ever know about it again.
That way, I can't get hurt.
'' 'And' what, Blair,'' Kate looks genuinely concerned, and it takes my breath away.
Not too long ago, I was comforting her. Look how the tables have turned.
''They… attacked us,'' I stress, hoping she'll get it.
''Attacked you?''
''If you don't to see me anymore, then fine. I get that. I have a lot of baggage. Hey, at least I was honest with you,''I shrug, putting my defenses up.
''That's not your fault, Blair,'' Kate makes me look at her, cradling my face in her hands, ''It's not your friends fault. They had no right to do that. I'm not… we're gonna get you through this, okay? This doesn't change a thing.''
There's no way she fully understands what they did to me. I'm only scratching the surface layer of what really happened. This is nice, though, having someone
It's so different from the way that Sabrina reacted. True, she was as comforting and as supportive as someone as self-involved as she is can be, but it was never like this. We ignored it, even when things between us got weird. We moved on, never talking about anything more emotional than the no-strings-attached rules we'd set for ourselves.
''We're going to be okay. You're going to be okay. Everybody has a dark side, right? I'll accept yours if you accept mine,'' Kate promises.
''Kate Hummel, I am crazy about you.''
''I'm crazy about you, too,'' she presses her lips to me, pulling the blanket around us, and grabbing the DVD player remote ''Come on. We can watch movies.''
This is nice, and it's easy. I don't have to try so hard with her. We're more than physical. It's been so long since I even dreamed of something like that.
And it's better than I even dreamed it would be.
Monday morning, I find myself in Coach Sylvester's office, her circling my chair.
''So what is the glee club up to, other than whining about problems that won't matter in the real world?''
''We are preparing for sectionals,'' I reveal, ''Rachel doesn't have a solo, so she's insisting on making everyone's life a living hell.''
Especially mine.
''Well, it seems that sorry little club may destroy itself from the inside out. I expect to see you at the pep rally.''
''Of course, Coach Sylvester,'' I smile, grabbing my bag and hurrying out of her office.
''Blair,'' Rachel slows to a stop as I close the door, her eyes narrowing in suspicion, ''What were you doing in Sue's office?''
''Well, Rachel,'' i begin, speaking as if I am talking to a toddler, ''I am a cheerleader. She's my coach. It's kinda important that we're on the same page.''
''Right,'' she sniffs, flipping her hair over her shoulder, ''Kate and the others may be blind, but I am not so naive. I know that you are hiding something.''
''First of all, you leave Kate out of this. Second of all, you don't know a damn thing about me. Now, I have to go get ready for the pep rally.''
I turn, silently wishing for my ponytail to slap her in the face. The indignant squeak lets me know that it did.
Good.
''Hey, babe,'' I hear the increasingly annoying voice of Noah Puckerman.
''I am not your babe, Puck. I gave a girlfriend,'' I sigh, turning to face him only to have him back me against my locker, ''What are you doing?''
''Nothing,'' he smirks, and I feel my blood run cold, a scream building in my throat, ''Just wondering why you always have these pants on, and never show off these gorgeous legs-''
It all happens so fast then. I'm screaming, he's backing away, my mouth is covered by my hand, he looks stricken.
Silence. He's staring at me with wide eyes as I stare back at him, hoping that no one heard that.
''Blair,'' Kate is by my side in an instant, seeming to have appeared out of thin air, ''What happened?''
I shake my head, falling into her embrace as she glares at Noah.
''What did you do to her?''
''Nothing,'' he splutters out, ''I treat her the same way I treat other girls-''
''She's not your conquest, Noah,'' Kate snape, ''Leave her the hell alone.''
She's walking me away from him, whispering that it's going to be okay in my ear, holding my hand.
I really wish I could believe her.
Like I always do, though, I pick myself up, dust myself off, put on a smile.
Disclaimer- glee belongs to Fox, and Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, and Brad Falchuk.