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The kids ran upstairs to their bedrooms and Samantha led Alexis into the bedroom that they would share. The girls laughed excitedly and Noah tagged along behind them. Seeing his daughter interact with Samantha and Noah did something to Rick's heart. He had always wanted more children, but he'd never thought it was possible. He'd never found anyone that he had ever considered having more children with. All the women he had dated were more concerned with his money and fame. Not giving their hearts to him or his daughter.
There was a time that he thought he could make a life with Kate, but she'd broke his heart just like the rest of the women he had dated. However, unlike those women, she hadn't been concerned with his money or fame.
Noah curled up on the bed next to his sister and promptly fell asleep. Kate smiled and went to pick him up to take him to his room. Rick stopped her and whispered, "Let me do it. Please?"
Kate knew that this was the first of many steps towards gaining back his trust. Maybe once he learned that he could trust her, he could grow to love her again. Wow... Where did that come from? Because she knew that she loved him. She had always loved him. Probably always would love him. But after her betrayal she doubted that he would, or could ever love her again. Especially after the way she had left him and hidden his son from him for years. No. The best she could probably ever hope for would be him calling a truce between them. Learning to co-parent their son was probably the only relationship she could hope for with Rick.
Kate finally nodded and watched as Rick walked forward and picked up their son. Something in her chest tightened at the sight of him with Noah. She realized then just how selfish she had been to keep this from both father and son. Her son snuggled into his fathers chest and Kate had to wipe away a tear.
Thankfully the rest of the occupants in the house were unaware of Kate's unhappiness. She made her way back downstairs and headed towards the kitchen. She put a pot on the stove and walked to the fridge to grab the milk and poured it into the pan. While the milk was heating she looked out the window and sighed in sadness. There had been a time that she had truly believed that she had been in love with Rick. However, it all ended one January night.
She had fallen asleep and had been woken by her cell phone ringing. She kissed him goodbye and he mumbled one single word. The name of his ex-wife. She knew now that she had been pregnant when she'd left him, but at the time she was too emotionally heartbroken to allow him a chance to explain. Maybe if she had things would be different. He wouldn't have to fight to get to know his son. He wouldn't have to hope that someday Noah would know that Rick was his daddy. It was all her fault and she had to find a way to make it right. For both of them.
She heard Rick walk into the kitchen and he walked over to her and said, "Thank you."
Kate could only nod as she poured the milk into mugs and then stirred in the cocoa. She handed him one and whispered softly to him, "You shouldn't have to thank me for that Rick..."
He didn't know what to say, so he simply shrugged, "Maybe, but what else can I say?"
Kate didn't know what to say to that one. She wanted to cry. Wanted to scream. Wanted to do something to take away some of the ache in her heart. She finally whispered, "Why do you have to be so nice to me Rick?"
He could only shrug and he told her, "Because I'm not sure what else to say Kate. There are so many things that I want to say. Want to ask, but I don't know how to."
Kate took his hand and led him into the living room of the cabin and they sat down together on the couch. Kate sat her cocoa on the coffee table and turned to look at him. Then she whispered, "I am so sorry."
"For?"
Kate could only smile and then she shook her head, "You are a remarkable man Richard Castle. You know exactly what I'm talking about and yet you choose to act like it doesn't matter."
"Does it really matter? What's done is done and neither one of us can do a damn thing to change it. Even if we wanted to Kate. You made all those choices for the both of us."
Kate hung her head in shame and nodded sadly. Even if she didn't like to hear it, he was exactly right. Everything was her fault and there wasn't anything she could ever do to change it. She stood up, picked up her mug and walked into the kitchen. She threw out the contents and headed outside. She stood on the porch and let the tears fall freely.
She felt Rick's presence and then she whispered, "I wish I could go back and do it over again Rick, but I can't. I can't ever give you these years with Noah back. Ever. I was so unfair to you and to him. Hearing you thank me for allowing you to do something so simple as putting him to bed is..."
That was when Rick did something that she had never expected. He grabbed her shoulders and turned her around to face him. Then he kissed her squarely on the lips. Effectively shutting her up. She fought him for all of three seconds. Then she surrendered to his kiss. She moaned so very softly. Then he watched as her eyes grew big and she allowed his tongue to enter her mouth. The cold didn't matter. All that mattered was the fact that he was kissing her once again. It was in that moment that she allowed herself to believe that he might still love her. Even after her terrible betrayal.
When she finally regained the function in her brain,she allowed herself to push him away and whisper, "You shouldn't have done that."
Rick could only ask, "Why?"
She shook her head, "I'm not good for you Rick. Sure, I'll love you for awhile, but I will eventually hurt you and I'm not willing to do that again. You'd be better off forgetting that you ever had feelings for me."
Rick laughed loudly, "I don't think I will ever be able to do that Kate."
"You need to..."
"Why?"
"Because..."
"No Kate. I let you get away once. I'm not willing to do that again. Never again. Our time together is all about a new start. That includes us. I want to love you again Kate."
"It's not safe..."
"You keep saying that Kate, but you can't believe that's true."
"I do Rick. I really do.. I..."
For the second time that night, Rick silenced her with another kiss. Everything inside her told her to fight her feelings for him. Fight the way that she felt about him. Fight allowing him to fall even deeper in love with her. However, when she heard him moan softly, she knew that she was fighting a losing battle. All she could do was allow herself to get lost in his kiss.
When they finally pulled away from one another, Kate whispered, "I don't deserve you Rick Castle."
Rick let his forehead rest on hers and then he told her softly, "Maybe or maybe not, but together we can learn to forgive and let our hearts fall back in love all over again. There was a reason why we fell apart."
"It was my fault. I let my emotions override my heart. I never should have done that Rick. For that I will be sorry. I've been so lonely without you Rick."
Rick smiled and whispered to her, "I missed you too Kate. There's a reason why I haven't dated anyone else in the past three years."
"We need to take it slow Rick. I want us to build a foundation for a relationship together."
Rick smiled brightly and whispered, "I can't ask for anything more. A dream come true Kate."
Kate turned her head to the side and asked softly, "How can you forgive me Rick?"
"I'm still mad at you Kate. I missed out on so much."
Kate nodded sadly, "I know and while I can't turn back the clock, I can make sure that you are there with us going forward. You are his father Rick and it's high time that he gets to know you as his father."
At her soft words, Rick felt a smile erupt on his face. He lifted her face up and kissed her softly one final time. She shivered with the cold and he whispered, "We should probably go inside."
Kate nodded and reached out to take his hand. Leading him inside the cabin, Kate heard the laughter of their daughters upstairs. She smiled and told him softly, "Thank you for agreeing to this. For decorating the cabin. It's all so very amazing Rick. You obviously love the holidays."
"I always have. Ever since I was a child. Christmas has always been the most magical time of the year for me. We never really had much, but Christmas was always a magical time of the year for me. Mother always made sure that. Very often, our presents were homemade gifts. I remember one year, I made mother a scarf. It wasn't very well made, but the way she reacted over it...You would have thought that it was bought at Tiffany's."
"It sounds beautiful."
Rick nodded, "It was. That's why I have always loved this time of the year."
Kate and her family had always thought that this time of the year was special. However, seeing it through his eyes, she could see the magic in it. They were brought out of their magical spell when the girls came running downstairs. The girls wanted to let their parents know that they were going to bed. Rick and Kate kissed them goodnight and heard them run back up the stairs.
Kate smiled and then told him, "I think it's time for bed."
Nodding, Rick smiled, "I'm going to stay down here for a bit longer. If you don't mind."
Kate shook her head, "I'll leave your bedroom door open. Night Rick."
He smiled, "Night Kate."
With that, she headed up the stairs and closed the door to her room. Wondering if maybe they did have a chance to be together after all...