Chapter Eleven:
Patrick had been thinking about the conversation he had with Robin while he sat back in his hotel room the next afternoon. He stayed late into the evening, but he was doing much better and they both felt he should go home.
He was going to pick her up in a few hours to go to Dante's for dinner. He was nervous about that, but also kind of excited. His life had taken so many turns in the past month and he hadn't been able to focus on anything.
Then he met Robin.
He didn't believe in things like fate or destiny, but it was hard to believe that she just appeared in that elevator. His mind was running and his nerves were at their limit.
What was he doing? He didn't think he should go. He didn't think it was a good idea that he get involved in anything. He picked up his phone to call her and cancel.
"Hello?" Robin's voice came through and his heart raced, but he also sensed something was wrong.
"Hi, it's Patrick. Are you okay?"
She wiped her eyes and felt relief. Maybe he could help.
"Hi. I'm glad you called," she began.
Shit. She was excited and he couldn't get her hopes up.
"I was actually calling to tell you I can't make it tonight," he said.
Her guard went up immediately.
"Oh, well that's too bad," she said softly.
He hated himself, but he kept going.
"I just think it's best if we stay professional," he said lamely.
She felt tears prick her eyes and looked around at the room she was in.
"Okay. Thanks for calling," she said and hung up.
Patrick was so disgusted with himself. He didn't know what his problem was, but he was scared. He was scared of how much he liked her. He was scared of how close she had gotten to him and he was scared of how much he wanted to be near her.
He also knew that she made him think about things he never thought he would. She was HIV positive and she had an amazing life. He wondered if there was a chance he could have one, too.
XXXX
Robin ran her hand through her hair and sighed. She was in a bit of a mess and she should have just told him to come and help her. She woke up this morning with the best intentions, but then it all went to hell.
She had to get her car back from the lot at the building where she had met Patrick. She called a cab and they had dropped her off, but she found out her car had been towed and she called the cab back and he dropped her at the impound lot. She went to pay the fine when she realized she left her wallet at home and she had spent the cash she had in her purse on the cab.
It had been over an hour and she felt like an idiot. She had left a message with Maxie, but she wasn't answering. She had a message on her phone from Dante that Lulu wanted to change the dinner to next week because something was going on with her mother and they had to take care of it. She was about to call Patrick and tell him when he called her.
She went into the bathroom at the impound lot and tried to hold her breakfast down. She was a mess and it was the most embarrassing situation. Her body was screaming at her because of the injury to her head and her knee and the change in her meds that were suddenly starting to take effect. She went to call the cab company when she realized her phone wasn't there. What the hell was going on?
XXXX
Patrick was trying to get the nerve to call her. He had taken a shower and ordered room service and the feeling in his stomach was still there.
He went to call her when his phone rang. He smiled when he saw it was her number.
"Hello?"
"Hi. Who is this?" a man's voice asked.
Patrick was immediately concerned.
"You called me. Where is the woman who owns this phone?"
"Do you know of someone who can come and help her?"
Patrick was grabbing his shoes and he felt a sweat break out over his brow.
"Who is this? Where is she?"
"She's at the impound lot but she's been in the bathroom for a long time. I think she's sick. She left her phone and I searched the last number. Are you coming or should I call the police?"
"I'm on my way. Tell me where you're located."
XXXX
This was bad. Robin splashed water on her face and even she thought she looked green. She was incredibly dizzy and even though it wasn't like her, she was feeling depressed. She jumped when there was a knock at the door.
"Miss? I called someone for you. Are you okay?"
Robin opened the door and nodded.
"I'm fine, thanks. Who did you call?"
"You left your phone out here, so I called the number I found," he said and looked as there was a new person at the counter. "Excuse me."
Robin took her phone and walked out of the office and into the cool air. She sat down on the ground and tried once again to calm herself. She hoped her Uncle Mac would be here soon. She figured that was who he called. He was her first contact on the phone.
XXXX
Patrick raced to the address the guy gave him and his mind was whirling. What if she was really sick? He had been so damned concerned with himself that he never stopped to try and help her. He had kneed her in the head and she hurt her knee and on top of that, the meds she took made her feel just as shitty as he did.
He was such an asshole.
He pulled into the lot and went towards the building when he saw her sitting on the ground by the side of the building.
What the hell was she doing sitting on the ground? It was winter in New York. He parked and got out, making his way over to her.
"Robin?" he knelt down facing her.
"Oh, you have got to be kidding me," she said when she looked up at him.
"I'm here to help you," he said. "Can you get up?"
"Of course I can get up. I don't need your help. My Uncle Mac is on his way. The man in there called him."
Patrick sighed.
"No he didn't. He called me."
She looked at him and her embarrassment was evident. She stood up slowly and went to leave.
"Robin, wait. Where are you going?"
She felt her tears come and she angrily wiped them away.
"I'm going home. I don't need you here and I need you to leave me alone."
He raced after and stopped her.
"Please, stop. You don't have any way to get home."
"I'll walk."
"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard," he said. "It's freezing and you're miles from home."
"I used to run track. I'm fine," she said.
"Your knee is probably torn and you are obviously sick," he said and she glared at him. "You know what I mean."
"I have been taking care of myself for a long time, Patrick. I don't need anything. I don't need pity and I don't need you to feel obligated to help me because I helped you. I don't want you to think I was feeding you a line when I told you it would get better, because I wasn't. I just think the combination of attempting to go to a stupid speed dating event and then the elevator incident and everything with you has just left me a little run down. It will pass and I'll be fine. Please leave me alone."
He tried to digest what she said and he grinned.
"You were going speed dating?"
She rolled her eyes and sighed.
"I just need to go before I die of embarrassment."
He reached to her and she backed away.
"Robin," he began and she put her hand up before she covered her mouth, running to the side of the road and vomiting.
He had never met anyone so stubborn. He took his coat off and put it around her shoulders as she held her face in her hands.
"Please let me take you back to my hotel."
She didn't have the energy to argue. She didn't know what to do.
"Robin, please let me help you."
She nodded and he helped her back to his car.
XXXXXX
Chapter Twelve:
He was worried. She had been in the bathroom for a little while and he didn't hear anything.
"Robin?" he knocked on the door.
Still nothing.
"I'm worried about you," he said. "Can you open the door?"
He waited and just as he went to open the door, she opened it.
"Sorry," she said. "I'm having some trouble."
He moved as she limped out and he watched her sit on the couch.
"Can you tell me what's going on?" he walked to her and handed her a bottle of water.
"I'm going to call Maxie and get out of your hair. I'm really sorry for making you come and get me."
He took her hand and she pulled it back, causing him to sigh.
"Robin," he began and she looked at him.
"Patrick, you called me and told me you wanted to keep things professional and I completely agree. I am really embarrassed that the guy called you and I know you came because you're a gentleman and all, but I don't want to be here."
"I'm sorry I said that. I didn't mean it."
She was quiet and then she looked at him.
"Do you mind if I lie down and close my eyes for a minute?"
He went to say something when she curled up on the couch and closed her eyes.
"Of course," he smiled and grabbed a blanket off the bed and brought it back to cover her. He sat down next to her on the couch and turned the television on, happy to be sitting with her.
"Patrick?" she said softly behind her closed lids.
"I'm here," he moved closer to her.
"Thank you for helping me," she murmured.
He felt like he won the lottery.
"My pleasure."
XXXX
Robin woke up and she panicked for a minute before she remembered where she was. She sat up and wiped her eyes before she looked for her phone.
"Hey, you're up," Patrick smiled as he walked into the room.
She smiled at him and put her phone down.
"Any chance you can just forget the past few hours?"
He grinned as he plopped down on the couch.
"Nope."
She sighed.
"I didn't think so."
"How are you feeling?"
"I'll be fine. I'm going to call my cousin to come and get me."
He crossed his arms and was quiet for a minute.
"I like you."
She raised her eyebrows and looked at him.
"Okay. I like you, too."
"I don't like women."
She felt like an idiot.
"Oh, right. I mean, I get it. I hope you find the man who will make you really happy, but you don't owe me an explanation."
He realized what she was saying and he laughed.
"What's so funny?" she glared at him.
"I'm not gay."
"So why tell me you don't like women?"
"I said I like you and I don't like women,"
"Patrick, this conversation is ridiculous. Say what you mean or stop messing with me. Are you calling me something other than a woman?"
"No, just listen to me," he said exasperated.
She looked at him.
"I'm listening."
"I don't let people get to me. Before my diagnosis, I had my share of women. To be honest, it wasn't something I even thought about. It was just the way my life was. I worked hard and played hard. I had no connections and nothing was personal."
"How could being intimate with someone not be personal?"
"Just let me finish," he said, completely ashamed.
"Sorry, please continue."
"I never thought I was missing anything. I figured one day, if I found someone who actually challenged me, then maybe I would think about more. I thought I had all the time in the world. I never thought anything could touch me."
She felt terrible. She knew where this was going and her heart broke at what he went through.
"When I cut myself during surgery, it was like the bubble was popped. It wasn't the actual idea that I might be HIV positive, but it was the sudden realization that I was a terrible person."
She watched him pace and was trying to follow his train of thought.
"I went home and I looked in the mirror and it occurred to me that nobody would care if I was positive. Nobody would miss me if I was gone. I had lived my life and it was worthless," he said and his eyes filled with tears.
Robin got up and walked to him, standing to face him and she reached up to cup his cheek in her hand.
"Patrick, that's not true."
He moved her hand and turned away as he walked.
"It is true. I ran away from my life because I was ashamed. I looked at this diagnosis as my punishment and the way the meds made me feel was validation that I was going to die a long and painful death all alone. I came here to see if there was a way to make the day to day more tolerable. I came here to prove to myself that I was right, and there was nothing that could be done."
He turned and faced her.
"But then I met you and everything changed. You took my ideas about what it meant to be HIV positive and you tossed them out the window. You helped me when you didn't need to and you called me on all of my crap. Nobody has ever done that before and it's the most refreshing thing. When I said I like you, I meant that I feel something for you and I never do that."
She rubbed her arms and tried to process what he said.
"I appreciate your honesty," she turned and walked back to the couch.
"Robin, don't you have anything else to say?"
"Patrick, if I wasn't HIV positive, would you even care? I feel like I'm a safe bet for you because you don't have to explain anything, or be anything you're not. I am so sorry you felt so alone and you were so unhappy with your life, but I think I'm just an unexpected complication. I don't want to be someone who is a default. I think it's time to say goodbye."
"You're a coward," he said.
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me. You like me and you're scared, so you figure the standard response will work. You have an easy way out because you figure I need you, but I don't want you."
She stood up and walked to face him.
"Shut up."
"No. It hurts when someone calls you out, doesn't it?"
"You haven't known me long enough to call me out. We just met and you are way out of line."
"When was the last time you spent so much time alone with a man?"
"I don't think that's any of your business."
"Fine. I have never spent so much time alone with a woman and when you aren't here, I want you to come back. I look at you and I don't see someone who is HIV positive, I see someone who is beautiful and brilliant and," he stopped when she pulled him to her and crashed her lips on his.
Patrick responded with an eagerness and intensity that he never felt before and when she moaned slightly into his mouth, he wrapped his arms around her and held her to him.
Her hands were in his hair, holding his head and deepening the connection. She felt his hands encircle her waist and she felt protected and safe in his arms.
Her lips were soft and her body was firm and his blood rushed through his veins. He split the seam of her lips and she allowed his tongue into the warm confines of her cheeks.
"No, stop," she pushed him gently and stepped back.
"Robin," he said as he looked at her flushed face and swollen lips.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me," she said as she touched her lips, the feel of him still present.
"I'm not sorry," he said softly. "That was amazing."
She blushed and went to say something else when her phone rang.
"Excuse me," she said and went to answer. He waited and she came back after a minute.
"I'm really sorry, but could you take me to the hospital? I have a patient who has been admitted and is in the final stages of life. I would like to sit with the family."
He was surprised. What kind of a doctor did that?
"Or maybe just a ride back to the impound lot."
"No, I'll go with you to the hospital. Come on," he said and grabbed his keys and they left.