Chapter Twenty:

Patrick was sitting on the bed as Robin was in the bathroom. He was nervous and that made him laugh. She had asked him to hold her, and he wanted to, but he was worried that he wanted so much more.

He stood up and paced.

It's not like he was an animal. He could restrain himself around her. It's just that for the first time in, well, ever, he didn't want to. He was falling for her and it was exciting and terrifying.

There was also the matter of his HIV. Since he was diagnosed, he hadn't thought about being intimate with anyone. There was so much fear involved with the idea of possibly infecting someone. He figured he would never feel comfortable enough with a woman to even bring it up, and therefore he just put it out of his mind.

With Robin, she knew it all. She was amazing and sensitive and beautiful and she scared the shit out of him. There was also the issue of her health. Would it be dangerous for her if his strain of HIV was different than hers? What did it all mean?

"Patrick?" a hand touched him and he flew around, smacking his hand into something hard.

It was her face.

He just smacked her across the face.

Shit.

"Robin? Are you okay?" he reached to her as she held her cheek.

"Hold please," she said and went into the bathroom, grabbing a washcloth. Her nose was bleeding and she didn't want him to worry.

"What is it? Are you hurt? Did I break your face?" he knocked on the door and his eyes filled with tears.

"You didn't break my face," she smiled as she opened the door. "But I think you have a mean right hook."

He pulled her into his arms and she was surprised, but felt his panic and she hugged him back.

"Patrick, I'm okay," she said.

"I punched you," he said into her hair.

"No you didn't," she said as she stepped back and smiled. "You sort of back handed me."

He rolled his eyes and sniffed before he turned away.

God, was he crying?

"Hey, Patrick? Look at me," she said as she touched his back.

"I should go. I'm liable to smother you in your sleep."

She raised her eyebrows.

"How would you do that exactly?"

"I will probably roll over you."

She shrugged and walked to the bed.

"That implies we would be in bed together, huh?"

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"I messed everything up, Robin. I'm really sorry."

"Come sit with me, please."

He hesitated and then sat down next to her.

"Tell me what you're so worried about," she said as she reached up and ran her fingers through his hair.

"Hurting you," he said as he held her gaze.

"How could you hurt me?"

He rolled his eyes and she smiled.

"Aside from your arms flailing around. Are you worried about my HIV?"

He shook his head.

"No. I'm worried about mine. I haven't even thought about being with anyone since my diagnosis. I don't even know if it's possible."

She smiled at him and rubbed his thigh.

"Oh, it's possible."

The tightening in his groin agreed with her.

"I didn't mean it like that. I just don't know if it's smart. I don't want to let my desire for you overtake my sense of right and wrong."

Her face clouded over and she looked down.

"You think it's wrong for us to be together?"

He stood up and paced.

"I don't know what I think. I don't know what happened, you know? One minute I receive this diagnosis and I feel like my life is over, and then I find you and I suddenly have hope. From the moment I found you, everything about my life has been better."

She stood up and limped over to him, her thigh a little stiff.

"And that bothers you?"

He put his hands on her shoulders and ran his fingers down to her hands.

"No, but I don't understand it. I don't know how this happened. I don't know if I deserve someone like you."

"I'm not so great, Patrick. I'm stubborn and opinionated. I hate to be told what to do and I tend to stay with things long after I should let them go."

He stroked her cheek and she reached up to him.

"I'm so glad you stayed with me," he said softly before he lowered his mouth to hers.

She felt his hands move to hold her head and his fingers were tangled in her hair. She moved her hands over his chest and down to his behind, pressing him against her.

His kiss became increasingly aggressive and she responded in kind. He walked them to the bed and she sat down before she looked up at him, both of their faces flushed.

"Will you take your shirt off?" she asked him softly.

He kept his eyes on her as he unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off.

"You have a beautiful chest," she said as she reached for him.

"It's just a chest," he smiled as he lay next to her.

"No, it's so much more," she whispered as she ran her fingers over the firm skin. "It's soft and tender, but also strong and protective. It's you."

He moved to her blouse and she didn't object as he slowly unbuttoned the silky material. She sat up while he pushed it off her shoulders and she lay back in her bra. She saw him hesitate.

"Patrick, you can touch me. I want you to touch me."

He moved his hand to her smooth shoulder and down over her covered breasts. He could feel her nipples pebble under the material and his fingers moved down her stomach to her navel.

"You are so beautiful," he said as he moved to capture her lips again with his. He felt his eyes fill with tears as the emotions he felt were right at the surface.

"Hey, what is it?" she asked him as she saw his tears.

"I'm just really happy to be here with you."

She pulled him to her again and he moved over her, hitting her leg and she cried out.

"Oh, shit, I'm sorry."

She took a deep breath and smiled through the pain.

"It's okay, but my leg is a bit sore."

"Because you were shot. This is ridiculous. You aren't up for anything strenuous and I'm being completely selfish."

"No you aren't. I want this, Patrick. I want you, but I guess we should wait until I can enjoy myself more."

"You're probably right."

"But you promised to hold me all night. Does your offer still stand?"

He smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear.

"I'm not going anywhere."

XXXXXXXXXXX

Chapter Twenty-One:

Patrick was whistling. He was whistling and it seemed to be the most natural thing to do when you're happy.

He was happy.

He was in love.

Not that he would ever admit that to anyone yet, but in his heart, he knew it. Something profound had happened to him in the time he had spent with Robin and all he knew was that it was something he wanted to continue.

It had been a week since he had spent the night holding her and since then, they had been spending almost every minute together. Robin was back to work today, and Patrick was going to surprise her with lunch and a proposition of sorts. He also had news he wanted to share.

Making his way into the hospital, he felt a bounce in his step. The hospital had always been where he felt at home, but since his diagnosis, it became like a prison; a reminder of all he lost. Now it was a place where he had found a renewed purpose. He whistled again and smiled.

XXXX

Robin laughed with a patient as Dante took blood and she was happy everything was going well. She had been nervous about being back at work and she knew it was important to get back to her routine, but the sound of the gunshot ran through her head.

She was doing okay and she knew so much of that was because of Patrick. He had just made her life better in every way. He was strong and handsome and vulnerable, but he seemed to understand her in a way that was refreshing.

She was in love with him.

She hadn't said anything, and she wouldn't, yet. She was nervous that maybe her feelings were more serious than his. She didn't want to scare him off. She didn't want to lose what they were building.

They hadn't done anything more than kiss and cuddle, but she was kind of hoping that would change soon. It had been so long since she had made live with anyone, and she hadn't really wanted to until Patrick. She simply wanted to share everything with him.

After Dante finished the tests, she spoke with patient a little longer and then finished filling out the chart. She made her way back to her office to make sure she was done for the day.

XXXX

Patrick was making his way down the hall to Robin's office when he heard someone call him.

"Patrick? Is that you?"

He turned around and smiled.

"Gwen?"

In an instant, she was in his arms, hugging him like it was old times. Patrick extricated himself and smiled.

"What are you doing here at General Hospital? I thought you worked upstate?" Gwen said as she touched his arm.

"I did, but I took some time off. What are you doing here?"

"I'm headlining an orthopedic conference, To be honest, I thought I would see you there. You are always the rock star at these events. The great Dr. Drake and his incredible charisma," she said and rubbed his arm.

Patrick felt uncomfortable for so many reasons. He had dated Gwen on and off for a long time, but really, she had been nothing but sex to him. He suddenly felt dirty. He was better than this and the fact he was that person in the past disgusted him.

He also had not come across anyone he knew from before his diagnosis.

"So why are you hanging on the infectious disease floor? Something happen I should know about?" she flirted with him. Was she seriously flirting with him over infectious diseases?

"I am here to see someone," he said. "It was nice seeing you, but I should go."

"Wait," she cooed. "What are you doing tonight?"

Just then, Robin walked out and saw them. She smiled brightly at Patrick as she limped over.

"Hi! I didn't know you were coming by," she said as Patrick smiled at her. Did he look embarrassed?

"Robin, hi."

Gwen looked between them and raised her eyebrows.

"Are you Dr. Scorpio? I was actually hoping to meet you," the tall blonde said.

Robin nodded.

"I am. Robin Scorpio, nice to meet you," she said and held her hand out.

Patrick seemed to suddenly become mute.

"I'm Gwen Dryly, a shoulder specialist. I was here for an Ortho conference and was just telling Patrick that I was surprised he wasn't headlining the knee section."

Robin looked at him and then smiled at Gwen.

"What were you looking to meet me for? I mean besides being friendly."

Gwen shrugged.

"I actually had a patient who was recently diagnosed with Hep C. I was looking into the long term effects of shoulder reconstruction and the likelihood the patient would benefit from such surgery. I figured you would know."

"Why would the patient having Hepatitis make your decision any different? Assuming the patient was stable enough to handle surgery?"

Patrick felt sick. He knew where this was headed.

Gwen smiled.

"I just want to be sure that the patients I treat have a chance at a long life. I don't want to waste my time."

Robin crossed her arms and waited for Patrick to say something, but he was apparently still a mute.

"I'm pretty sure our jobs as doctors isn't to judge who is worthy of treatment. Your job is to treat the patient if that treatment will help. The fact you feel someone with Hepatitis is not worth your time tells me you aren't someone I care to collaborate with."

Gwen was surprised by her response.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Scorpio, I didn't realize you felt that way. I was just being honest and my expertise is valuable, as Patrick can attest to. We spent many a night going over the intricacies of all joints," she said and hugged Patrick's arm.

Robin waited for Patrick to defend something, but he didn't.

"I think maybe you should speak to someone else. I feel anyone who is stable for surgery and will have a better quality of life if a procedure is done, then they should have that right, regardless of preexisting conditions."

Gwen rolled her eyes almost imperceptibly and Robin fought the urge to punch her.

"I am also speaking as someone who is dealing with a disease which in your world would make me less than worthy. I am HIV positive and my life has value. Hell, you came here to talk to me and I assume that means you felt I had something to offer."

Gwen was stunned and looked at Patrick who looked down.

"I hope you two have a nice evening. Goodbye," Robin said and walked out with her head held high.

Patrick wanted to cry. He was so upset with himself and he felt lower than dirt.

"Wow, I had no idea. Did you know she had that? Wonder how she got it? She seems so put together, but I wonder if there was some dark side hiding beneath the surface," Gwen grinned at him.

"Excuse me. I need to go," Patrick said.

"I'm staying at the Metrocourt, room 406. I'll be waiting for you," she smiled as he walked out.

Patrick raced into the bathroom and almost got sick. He didn't know why he didn't say anything. He didn't what the hell just happened. He also didn't know how Robin would ever talk to him again.

XXXX

Robin sat in her car and let her tears fall. Screw Patrick and his inability to open his mouth. Screw Gwen and everyone like her. Robin had lived with prejudice for years and she could handle it, but with Patrick, it just struck her so deeply.

She thought she was in love with him. Had she so completely misjudged him? How could she have been so stupid?

Putting the car in gear, she drove away. She didn't know where she was going, she just drove. She needed to get away from everything.