Chapter Thirty:

"So are you going to tell me what happened?" Maxie asked Robin after they were settled into General Hospital. The records had been retrieved and they had a rush on the meds Gwen destroyed. Robin was feeling less than talkative, but she knew Maxie deserved an explanation.

"He dumped me. There is nothing else to say," she said and lay back, the IV pulling a little.

"You know I'm not his biggest fan, but that doesn't seem right, Robin. He was really into you."

Damn the tears again.

"Obviously he wasn't. Can we just drop it? I'm tired and you should go home."

Maxie nodded and stood up, walking to the bed.

"I'll check on Ben, but you need to go home tomorrow because it's not natural for a grown woman to have a rat. It's gross."

Robin laughed and squeezed Maxie's hand.

"Thank you, for everything."

Maxie kissed her forehead and smiled.

"You're Robin. You deserve the world."

Maxie left and Robin closed her eyes, praying for sleep, but only aching for Patrick.

XXXX

"Shut up!" Patrick yelled when the pounding wouldn't stop.

"Open the door," the voice called and continued pounding.

"What the fuck is wrong with people? I want to be alone. Who has such a hard on for ruining that?" he bellowed as he walked to the door and opened it.

"You're an asshole," Leo said as he walked in.

"Leo, what are you doing here?" Patrick asked as he closed the door behind his friend.

"You're going on a trip and you don't want to be bothered. You have to clear your head. You need some time away because you're burned out," Leo said as he paced and looked at the mess of empty beer bottles and pizza boxes. "I thought we were friends."

Patrick rubbed his face which was covered with a sparse beard. It had been a week since he left Robin and he hadn't walked out of his house once.

"We are friends."

Leo sighed.

"No we aren't. A friend would have trusted me with the truth. A friend would have asked for help. A friend wouldn't have been diagnosed with a fucking illness like this and not told me!"

Patrick winced as his headache grew.

Leo had been his friend since med school and he was right. Patrick should have told him.

"Leo, I don't know what to tell you. I fucked up."

"Well good for you. I'm so glad you think so after I had to come here and talk to you. What were you going to do? Were you ever going to tell anyone? Were you going to just sit in here and drink yourself to death?"

"Well now that would be my choice, wouldn't it?" Patrick said bitingly.

Leo shook his head.

"Tell me what I can do for you."

"Nothing. I'm happy just sitting here."

"I called Robin," Leo said.

Patrick jumped up.

"You didn't. How could you do that? What did she say? How is she? I can't believe you would do that."

Leo smiled at him.

"I didn't."

Patrick gaped at him and sat down like his whole body deflated.

"But it's obvious from that reaction that I hit the jackpot."

Patrick shook his head.

"It doesn't matter. I walked out on her and I deserve to be alone." He was quiet and then he looked at his friend. "How did you even know about her?"

"It's the reason I found out about all of this. Some crazy woman named Maxie accosted me."

Patrick chuckled.

"Robin's cousin."

Leo sat down and ran his hand through his hair.

"I knew what happened with Gwen because it was all around the hospital, but I didn't realize the woman she hurt was someone you cared about. I didn't know much of anything until my last appointment."

Patrick waited.

"It was a new heart case. Transplant from years before that wanted a consult."

"It was Maxie?"

"Yeah. She had a transplant years before, but the only consult she needed was about you."

"What did she want?"

"She wanted to know if you were worth the trouble. She said you broke her cousin's heart and she wanted to help but she didn't know if you were worth it. Dude, she investigated me to see if we were close. She's a bit out there."

Patrick smiled.

"She loves Robin and she has her back."

"What happened? Do you want to be with Robin? Is Maxie right to be so mad?"

Patrick felt his eyes fill with tears.

"It doesn't matter what I want. I can't take back what I did even if I wanted to."

"Do you?"

Patrick was quiet and Leo looked at his hands.

"Look, I don't know what to tell you, but I know something about Dr. Scorpio. I followed her research and specifically her drug trials with heart failure secondary to HIV and hep C infection. She is tireless and one of the biggest champions for those who need someone in their corner. It's quite amazing that she is also HIV positive because the reality of her disease is in her face every day. She doesn't hide and she doesn't pity herself. She is an amazing woman."

"I didn't know you knew so much about her," Patrick said.

Leo smiled and shrugged.

"Don't take this the wrong way, Patrick, but you are kind of self absorbed. You don't always pay attention to people around you. Many of us have waited for a long time to hear her speak and she is inspiring. To be honest, I'm not sure what she was doing with you."

Patrick felt sick and he knew Leo was right. He had been that man and apparently, he still was. It just confirmed in his mind that he did the right thing by walking out. He wasn't worthy of someone like Robin.

Leo looked at his phone which buzzed and he sighed.

"Look. I don't know if this is right or wrong, but I figure you're worth a shot."

Patrick looked at him, confusion on his face.

Leo went and opened the door, letting Maxie in. He turned and saw the anger on Patrick's face and he sighed.

"Sorry, but you need to hear her. I'll see you later," Leo said and walked out.

Maxie walked into the room and wrinkled her nose.

"When was the last time you cleaned in here? Or showered? Or shaved?"

"What do you want, Maxie?"

"I want your balls in a vice, but I'll settle for the answer to a question."

Patrick had to smile at her attitude.

"What's the question?"

"Do you love Robin?"

"I don't think that's any of your business."

Maxie nodded.

"It might not be, but Robin is my business and I need to know if you're worth this."

Patrick sighed.

"Worth what?"

"Her disgusting attitude. She isn't the same and I miss her. She is angry and sullen and closed off. She isn't seeing patients anymore and all she does is cry."

Patrick felt terrible.

"She's like that because of me?"

Maxie rolled her eyes and sat down.

"Of course not, but I wondered just how arrogant you were. Robin would never let a man dictate her ability to help other people. I thought someone who loved her would know that. The truth is much worse. She is sad, Patrick. When she smiles, her eyes don't light up. When she eats, she leaves more on her plate. When she talks, her inflection isn't as pretty. She's just sad, and she doesn't deserve to be sad. Robin has had a lifetime of reason's to be sad, and it's not fair. I guess if you truly aren't interested, then I'll leave you alone, but if there is a way you might reconsider, I would like to know."

"I can't fix it. I walked out on her while she was in the hospital after a psycho hurt her because of me. I can't take that back."

Maxie nodded.

"Do you want to?"

Patrick looked at her and felt his chin quiver.

"More than anything."

"Thank God," Maxie said. "I was beginning to wonder what the hell she saw in you. I saw her make a quicker decision to put Ben to sleep and that took forever."

Patrick was stunned.

"Ben? What happened?"

Maxie chuckled.

"Nothing, but if a person cares about a woman's rat, then he's in love."

"Love was never the issue."

"Then what was?"

"Me. All I did was hurt her. I don't deserve her."

"Well leaving her really helped that one," Maxie said. "Look, Robin isn't a saint. She is amazing and beautiful and strong and smart, but people always keep her at arms length. She takes care of everyone, but at the end of the day, she hasn't been able to give her heart to anyone. She never wanted to, because she didn't want to get hurt. Robin isn't like other people. She doesn't love half way. I'm worried she is now so closed off that nothing will ever make her smile. I need you to fix that."

"She won't talk to me. I've left three messages and she won't respond."

Maxie rolled her eyes.

"Well don't strain yourself or anything."

Patrick shook his head and went back to his couch.

"Look, I appreciate your insight, but I need to take my meds and then crash."

Maxie shook her head.

"You're not the first person to be diagnosed with something, Patrick. You might want to make some different choices. I think Robin might be better off without you."

He didn't say anything and she turned and left.

Patrick got up and locked the door. He let his tears fall as he turned and slid to the floor, his back against the wall.

He ached for Robin. He loved her with every part of his being, but he was terrified and he was alone and he didn't know how to begin to fix this.

He also knew that anything he did couldn't come from Leo or Maxie.

He was the one to fix this.

If he only knew how.