Chapter Twenty-Six:
"I'll call you later," Robin said as she got into the car the next morning. They had taken down the tent and loaded everything back into Robin's car. She had been feeling off and just wanted to go home.
"I'm not sure I'll be around," he said as he sighed. "I think I need to go back upstate to my apartment and figure out what's next.
"Oh, okay," she said, trying to hide her disappointment.
He shifted on his feet and looked at his hands.
"I just think it's best. I can't just stay with you forever and it's silly to live in a hotel."
"Right, you're totally right," she tucked her hair behind her ear.
"I mean I have to make some choices, you know? I guess I need to figure out what happens next."
She rubbed her arms and nodded.
"Will I see you again?"
He put his hands on her shoulders and she looked up at him.
"I hope so."
Her eyes filled with tears and she hugged him tightly.
"Robin, it's okay," he hugged her. "I'm not running, I just need to make some decisions."
"I know. Drive safely," she said and smiled as she got into her car. She watched him get into his and drive away.
Her drive home was short and it only took her a few minutes to dissolve into tears when she walked into her house.
She felt like she lost her best friend.
XXXX
Patrick drove the three hours and arrived back at his apartment. He never meant to be gone for so long; a simple appointment with a specialist and then home. He put his suitcase on the floor and then sat down on the couch before he ran his hand through his hair.
Robin was the only thing he could think about.
He needed a shower. He pulled his clothes off as he stepped into his bathroom and then under the stream of hot water. It felt so good and he scrubbed the smell of the campgrounds off his body.
"Care for some company?"
He flipped around and saw Robin standing there, naked and gorgeous.
"Robin? How are you here?"
"I decided to help you with your decisions. I didn't want to let you go. I had your address from your chart and I followed. I hope that's okay," she said softly.
He moved to her and took her hand in his, helping her into the shower stall and wrapping his arms around her. She felt him against her as the water fell over them and his mouth fused with hers.
"I worried you would be mad," she murmured as he moved to kiss her throat. "I just couldn't imagine spending another minute without you."
"How could I be mad? I love you," he said as he stepped back.
"You do?" she ran her hands over his chest?
"I do. I love you so much and I want to be with you," he said as he ran his hands over her body.
"I love you, too," she said.
He smiled as he pressed her against the wall and hiked her leg up to his hip.
"What is that?" she asked him.
"I thought you knew what it was," he grinned.
"It's the phone ringing," she murmured. "You should get it."
"No, it's not the phone," he said.
"It could be important," she reached to stroke him.
"No it isn't," he said again and opened his eyes.
Patrick looked around and realized he had fallen asleep on the couch.
"Get a grip, Drake," he said and stood up, thinking that shower was actually a good idea. He just needed it to be cold.
XXXX
It had been a week since he left and Robin had thrown herself into her work. She had been seeing a lot of patients and spending time alone. Patrick had called once, but that was it. She was confused and her feelings were a little hurt.
Maybe he wasn't that into her? Maybe his feelings were more about being in the moment, but with distance, it was clear she wasn't for him? Whatever it was, she realized she needed to back off. He needed to want to be with her. She wouldn't beg.
"We're done for the next week," Dante said as he stood in her doorway. "Is there anything I can do before I leave?"
Robin smiled and shook her head.
"No. Go and enjoy your vacation," she said and sat back in her chair. "How has Lulu been feeling?"
"Pretty good. I think it will be nice to spend some time together and get ready for what comes next. Having a baby is going to be amazing."
"You guys deserve it. You both are going t make amazing parents."
He walked in and sighed.
"Can I overstep for a minute?"
"Dante, we're colleagues, but more importantly, we're friends. You can say whatever you want."
"You should go see Patrick."
"What? Why do you say that?"
Dante smiled at her.
"Because you're miserable without him and he adores you, too."
She blushed and then shook her head.
"You're wrong. He is back in his life and he doesn't need me as a distraction. He has only called once, and I need to take a hint."
"Have you called him any more?"
"No, but I didn't want to bother him."
"Maybe he thinks you aren't into him."
She was quiet and Dante shrugged.
"I'm sorry if I'm out of line. It's just that I've known you for a long time and I have never seen you as happy as when you were with him. I just want you to find someone who makes you smile."
Robin nodded.
"Thanks Dante. Have a great break."
He smiled and left.
Robin thought about what he said. Maybe he was right. She could take a ride and see Patrick. What did she have to lose?
She got up and laughed.
She had a lot to lose.
XXXX
Patrick looked around his apartment and smiled. He had made a decision and he felt good about it. He had a lot of work ahead of him, but he was excited. He had ordered a pizza and was going to get started. The doorbell rang and he grabbed his money.
"Patrick?"
He stared at the door.
"Gwen? What are you doing here?"
"Can I come in? I needed to talk to you."
He moved to let her in as the pizza guy walked up. He paid and closed the door, putting the food down and walking in.
"What's going on?"
Gwen turned to look at him.
"I love you."
Patrick was stunned.
"What?"
"I know we've never been serious, and it's been a lot of sex and nothing else, but since you've been gone, I've realized something important. I like being around you. I think you're the one for me and when I saw you with that woman and the way you stood by me when she yelled just made me see you in a different light. I have been waiting for you to come home and since you did, and you're alone, I realized that I finally had my chance. I want you, Patrick. I love you."
He was about to respond when his doorbell rang.
"Um, just a minute," he said and went to the door. He opened it and his face lit up.
"Robin?"
"Hi. I know it's weird that I'm here and I didn't even call, but I wanted to see you."
"I'm so glad you're here," he said, truly meaning it.
"You are? I was really worried," she said, relief all over her face.
"I really am," he grinned.
She stood there and tried to stop smiling. It was strange, but when she looked at him, she felt like she was home.
"So can I come in?"
He nodded.
"Of course, sorry," he moved and she stepped in.
"Patrick? Who is it?" Gwen's voice cut through the meeting and Patrick paled.
He had completely forgotten she was there.
Robin froze.
Of course he wasn't alone. She just wasn't expecting boob woman to walk in.
"Oh, we weren't expecting anyone," Gwen said as she walked to Patrick and held his arm.
Robin nodded, her face flaming.
"Right, sorry," she said and turned around, walking out.
Patrick turned and looked at Gwen. This night was not ending like this.
XXXXX
Chapter Twenty-Seven:
"Robin!" Patrick yelled as he ran out of his apartment. "Stop!"
Robin froze and turned around, embarrassment all over her face.
"Patrick, I'm so sorry. I should have never just come over like this. I don't know what I was thinking. Of course you would have company. I didn't think you would wait to see me again. I mean I did think that, but I shouldn't have," she was silenced when his mouth was on hers, kissing her passionately and silencing her words and thoughts.
"No," she pushed him away. "I can't do this. My heart can't take it," she wiped her eyes.
"Your heart? What's wrong with your heart?" he looked at her in the darkness, trying to determine what had happened.
She smiled despite her hurt.
"Nothing is wrong. I fell in love with you and I shouldn't have let that happen."
He smiled and cupped her face in his hands.
"I love you, too."
She looked up at him and her tears spilled over her cheeks.
"But boobs is here," she sniffed.
Shit. He totally forgot about Gwen.
"Come inside, please?"
She nodded and followed him in, passing a stunned Gwen. Robin walked to the couch and sat down, giving them some privacy.
"I think you should leave," Patrick said to Gwen once they were inside. "I am in love with Robin and you weren't invited. I know what we used to have, but to be honest, I wasn't very happy with that person. I was shallow and judgmental and was about as deep as a kiddie pool. What I've found with Robin is more than I could have ever hoped for."
"But Patrick, she has HIV. What kind of relationship can you hope to have with someone like that?" Gwen asked.
Patrick felt sick.
"The most amazing kind. The fact that you only see her HIV when you look at her shows me how simple and sad you are. Robin is beautiful and intelligent and caring and sexy. She has reminded me that life can be about so much more than competition in the OR. She treats me with respect and values my contribution to the world. I'm sorry you can't see that and I'm really sorry you are too blind to see what an amazing person she is. What I'm not sorry for is how I don't have to ever see you again. Have a nice life, Gwen."
Robin stood up and watched them; waiting for what she knew was coming.
"You can't be serious," Gwen said. "After everything we've shared?"
"Exactly. We've shared nothing, Gwen. We had fun and now it's time to grow up. I'm so happy and I hope you find someone to be happy with, too."
Gwen looked at Robin and shook her head.
"You have nothing to offer him but a lifetime of pain and sickness. Be the bigger person and walk away."
Robin smiled at her and shrugged.
"Thanks for the advice. I appreciate the caring way in which you approach medicine and I'll be sure to keep you in mind when referring patients. Now if you'll excuse us, Patrick and I have some things to take care of."
Gwen shook her head and turned again to Patrick.
"What if you get sick? What if you get her HIV?"
Robin felt her heart ache for Patrick. She knew what this kind of bigotry could do to even the strongest of people.
"Gwen, you need to leave."
She turned to walk to the door and Patrick followed.
"I'll be leaving my practice for good and moving downstate. I am certain this will be our last discussion, but just so you know, I was diagnosed with HIV a month ago and the way you act and the crap that comes out of your mouth is sickening. I will be filing a formal complaint with the hospital about your lack of sensitivity."
"What? You have it?"
He felt Robin come up next to him and he smiled at her.
"Yes."
"Did she give it to you? Oh God, is there a chance you gave it to me?"
"What? What the hell is wrong with you?" he yelled at her. "We haven't been together for months, Gwen, and no, I didn't give it to you. Get the fuck out of my house," he said and slammed the door in her face.
Robin watched him storm back into the family room and pick up a magazine, throwing it across the room. She felt tears prick her eyes at what she knew would be the first of many forms of prejudice he would face.
"Do you have the name of a nearby hotel I could check into?" she asked as she walked up.
He turned and his face was pale.
"What? No," he walked to her. "I don't want you to leave."
"Oh, well what do you want?" she looked up into his eyes.
"I want you," he said softly. "It's always been you, Robin."
She didn't say anything and he took her hand in his.
"What are you thinking?"
She shrugged and her tears spilled over her cheeks.
"I'm scared. I came out here on a whim and I don't know if it was right. Maybe my being here made you do something you weren't really ready for. I mean if I hadn't come, would you have spent the night with her?"
He stepped back and sighed.
"No. I have no desire to be with Gwen. I didn't invite her over here, she just showed up, telling me she was in love with me and she wanted to be with me. I was about to throw her out when you walked in."
"Oh," she rubbed her arms and sighed. "Are you in love with her?"
He stared at her like she was crazy.
"Robin, how can you ask me that? She makes me sick."
She nodded and turned to walk to the couch.
"Okay."
He crossed to her and stopped her, holding her by the shoulders.
"Do you think I'm lying?"
"No," she said sincerely. "I just don't want to be naïve. I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do and I don't want to push myself on you."
"Did you tell me you loved me out there?" he asked softly as he stroked her cheek.
"I did and I do."
"And did you hear what I said?"
"You said you loved me, too."
"I did and I do."
She ran her hands up over his chest.
"I really missed you. I didn't want to spend any more nights alone. I haven't slept very well because I missed your arms around me. I didn't know how to make the ache in my heart stop so I drove here. I just wanted to know if what I felt was real."
"And you walked in and saw her here. I'm so sorry, Robin."
"I don't want to think about her anymore. I don't want to think of anything other than you and me and how much I need to feel you," she said as she moved to pull his face to hers.
His mouth covered hers and her arms wrapped around his neck as his tongue plunged between her lips. He wrapped her small frame in his arms and moved his hands down to her behind.
"Robin," he said breathlessly.
"Don't worry," she said. "Just do what you want."
He gently picked her up in his arms and carried her into his bedroom, turning on the lights and placing her onto his large bed. She bit her lip as she watched him pull his shirt off and move to her.
"I was going to surprise you," he said as he moved to sit facing her. "I was going to move down and show up and ask if you'll have me."
Her hand was on his chest and her fingers moved over his torso.
"I just couldn't wait any longer. I missed you," she said and he kissed her again.
"I missed you, too, so much. I had some pretty incredibly fantasies about what would happen when we were together," he grinned.
"Is that right?" she asked as he moved his mouth to her neck.
"Oh yeah," he said as his hands moved to her shirt. She sat up and he pulled the material up and off, watching her hair billow back down around her shoulders. Her white bra framed her beautiful chest and he ran his hands over the mounds of covered flesh as she moaned.
"I had a thought or two about you as well," she said as she reached to unzip his jeans.
"Were they dirty?" he growled as she unzipped the material.
"Filthy," she said and grinned as he looked into her eyes.
She pulled him against her again and he felt his arousal grow as her hands moved through his hair. He felt an overwhelming sense of love come over him and he felt like this was the most important moment of his life.
"Patrick? What's wrong?" she sat up and he looked at her, their faces both flushed.
"Nothing. I just don't want to rush this," he said.
"Oh, do you want to stop?" she asked as she smoothed his hair back.
"No, but I want to take my time. I feel like I'm about to devour you. I don't want to miss a minute of this."
She smiled as she stood up and reached for him to join her.
"What are you doing?" he asked with a grin.
"Dance with me," she said softly.
He looked at her, wearing her bra and jeans and he didn't think he had ever seen a more beautiful sight.
He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her to him, swaying to the silence. She rested her head on his chest and ran her fingers over his back.
She stepped back after a few minutes and held his gaze as she removed her bra. She took his hand in hers and kissed his palm before she put his hand on her breast and pulled him to her mouth, needing his lips on hers and wanting to feel him on her.
He moved his hands over her chest and she watched as he pulled his jeans off before getting into the bed, his boxers all that were left. She pulled her jeans off as well and crawled onto the bed, moving to lie next to him.
His mouth was moving down her chest and he took her nipple in his mouth as he massaged the flesh and felt her squirm under him. He grinned as he did the same to the other and moved down her flat stomach to her hips, breathing in her scent.
Robin felt the heat pool at her center as he blew soft kisses in her navel. He gently lifted her hips as he peeled her panties off and moved up her legs, using his tongue to kiss the inside of her thighs.
He moved to her center and she gently pulled him back to her face.
"I don't think it's safe for you to do that," she said as her eyes were wet.
"Can I touch you?" he asked softly.
"Of course," she whispered and he gently used his finger to rub her center, moving his hand over her and slipping a finger into her wetness.
"I need you," she said as she reached to push his boxers off. He lay on his back and she moved over his body and kissed his chest before she took him in her hand and moved her fingers up and down his shaft. He was impressive and she worried for a minute he might be a little too large for her. She blushed when she thought about how it would feel to have him buried inside of her.
"What is it?" he asked as he sat up.
"You're just beautiful," she said as he turned her onto her back and grabbed a condom.
"Are you sure you're okay with this?" she asked him. "I don't want you to have any regrets."
He covered himself and settled over her, cupping her face in his hands.
"I love you and I want to make love with you."
She smiled and helped him position himself.
"I love you, too."
He slowly pushed into her and she gasped at the feel of him. He moved back out and wondered if he would split her in two.
"I don't want to hurt you," he said.
"You won't. I'm good," she said and he rubbed her center with his fingers until she moaned as her orgasm took over and he slid much easier into her, gasping himself at how tight she was.
"Shit," he said as he buried his face in her neck. He began to thrust into her and she felt her body turning into jelly as they moved together.
She pushed him gently onto his back and moved to straddle him, taking him in and linking her hands with his as she moved over his hips. Her breasts bounced as she felt her abdomen tighten and he moved his legs as his testicles tightened before he felt his release happen. She collapsed onto him as they both lay together, their bodies sweaty and their hearts racing.
She moved off of him and lay on her back as he removed his protection and then lay next to her.
"What are you thinking?" he asked softly.
She turned on her side and wiped her eyes.
"What is it? Did I hurt you?" he brushed her tears away.
"No. I'm just overwhelmed. I never thought anyone would look at me like you do. I never thought I would be touched or loved. I think it's just hitting me, that's all."
He pulled her into his arms and held her tightly.
"You deserve the world, Robin."
She held him and sighed.
"I love you."
He kissed her head and smiled.
"I love you, too."