Chapter 15
A/N
Me: Hey guys, sorry for the long wait… *nervous laugh* I didn't mean for it to take so long to update. School tried to kill me as soon as I got off of Thanksgiving break…and I have been absolutely exhausted since I got off… *sigh* I hope you all had an amazing Christmas! And guess what? I got a new laptop for Christmas! It's so awesome! I don't have to have it plugged in all the time! Isn't that awesome?! This (hopefully) means that I will be able to update more often since this computer can actually hook up to the internet, so yippee! So consider this new chapter as an extremely late Christmas gift to you all.
BFF: Hey, don't forget we are supposed to sing a Christmas song to them!
Me: Okay, ummm…. *singing* Chestnuts roasting on an open fire—
BFF: No, no, not that one! The Batman one!
Me: Oh, yeah, whoops… ;P
Both: *singing* Jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg, the batmobile lost a wheel and the joker got away, hey! *laughing*
BFF: Never gets old.
Me: Okay, onto the next chapter. ;)
Max's POV
It's been two weeks since my first day of school with Fang. The days have been pretty uneventful, thank the heavens. I haven't heard of or seen any trace of Sam. A part of me, the more hopeful side, wonders if he finally gave up his plans for revenge on me, but the more realistic side of me knows that he is just trying to unnerve me or give me a false sense of security. I can't help but feel that this is the calm before the storm.
Despite the loaming threat, I've found time to learn more about the human world from Fang and his friends. Over the last two weeks I have learned more about this "Hunger Games" that Xander and Gazzy seem to be obsessed with. In truth, this game seems absolutely horrifying, but the stories are scarily hypnotizing. The moment I hear either of the two speak about it I am listening in with all my might, eager to know what happens next. I have also observed Iggy staring endlessly into this rectangular box that lights up and makes dinging noises. He smiles at it and taps on it for hours on end and sometimes even brings it to class and uses it. Sometimes Fang asks him to use it for a bit, which perturbs me because I have become convinced that it is of a malevolent nature. I'm starting to wonder whether or not it is some kind of drug or something similar. I plan to bring it up with Nudge when she gets back.
Oh, that reminds me, I didn't tell you that she was gone. Whoops.
Nudge had left abruptly before the first day of school started, well the first day of school for the pair of us. She left me a note, asking me to watch over Iggy and Gazzy for her until she came back from the meeting she had been called to in heaven, which explains why I have been observing Iggy. She hasn't returned yet and I am starting to get worried. I couldn't believe that I hadn't noticed that my best friend was missing that day. Maybe I am getting too wrapped up in this "must protect Fang" business that I can't see what's happening around me properly. That could prove fatal. I need to take a step back, I'm getting too close to Fang and it's blinding me. The only way I can truly protect him is by taking a step back.
But I can't do it.
I've been trying to keep my distance from him for the last two weeks, but I just can't bring myself to do it. This little bit of contact that I have with him, this connection I have to him, it draws me to him, like two magnets. I can't be far from him without feeling as if something is missing, without panicking because of the threat Sam made on Fang's life.
I sighed in frustration. I don't understand how Fang makes me feel the way he does.
The bell rang, signaling the end of the school day. My ward stood up and gathered his books. Then he headed to his locker to grab the rest of the materials he would need to complete his homework over the weekend. I smiled, proud of him. He was taking his grades and homework seriously now. His mother's threat of taking away his time with Iggy and his friends was not taken lightly. His friends meant a lot to him, he needed them.
Like I need him.
I shook my head to rid myself of the confusing thought. These feelings that I have been having lately are so mind boggling, and trying to understand them only leaves me with an excruciating headache.
"Ready to get going?" I asked him as he stuffed his books into his backpack.
He nodded silently.
We started walking down the hallway to the front entrance where his mother would pick him up and take him to therapy. This would be his first session and he was not happy about having to go.
Suddenly Fang was knocked into the lockers. I called out his name, trying to see if he was okay. He stood up and looked his attacker in the face. It was Leonard.
"What do you want?" Fang spat at him and his goons who surrounded him.
Leonard laughed. "You sound like you are trying to show off for your girlfriend." He looked around at his friends, who, on cue, laughed as well. "Do you have a girlfriend that I can steal and f*ck against the wall yet, Walker?"
I recoiled in disgust at what Leonard had said. Fang tensed and looked like he was going to throw a punch at him, but thought better of it and smirked.
"I wonder how many of your buddies here are messing with your girl behind your back Leonard." He replied, stepping past him and towards where I stood, away from Leonard and his goons. "And as a matter of fact, I do have a girlfriend," Fang said proudly. A sudden pain in my heart arose at the revelation. Fang had a girlfriend? I felt betrayed, but I didn't know why. "And she knows exactly what kind of scumbag you are, so good luck trying to steal her. She would probably kick your ass to next year if you tried."
Then he walked away from the boys, whispering to me softly to follow him. I ran after him and stuck close to him, even though the pain in my heart only seemed to increase as I came into closer proximity to him.
We over to his mother's car, she was singing to something in the car, waiting for Fang to arrive. He opened the door and music burst into the air.
(Excerpts from Counting Stars by OneRepublic)
"Lately I been, I been losing sleep, dreaming 'bout the things that we could be." His mother sang to the radio, quite well I might add. I crawled inside the car and glanced back at Fang, feeling a jab of pain, but I ignored it. For some reason he looked angry.
"Baby I been, I been prayin' hard, said no more counting dollars, we'll be counting st—" Miss Walker sang, doing a little dance in her seat before Fang cut her off.
"Turn that shit off." He growled.
His mother jerked in her seat. "Oh, Fang, I didn't see y—" She began happily and then realization overtook her. "Wait, did you just curse?"
He shrugged. "So what if I did?"
She turned and shut off the radio, slumping back in her seat, she pinched her nose.
"Just get in the car." She replied with an exasperated sigh.
Throwing his backpack into the car he jumped in, buckled, and closed the car door.
"Fang, I'll let it slide this time, but no more cursing, okay?"
He didn't reply, his mother sighed once more and put the radio back on, changing it to a different station pulling out of the parking lot.
I looked out the window as trees passed by in greenish blurs, and let my mind wander to what I had just learned.
For some reason, Fang hated, no—from the look on his face it was more like he despised the song that had just been on the radio for no apparent reason. I deducted that it probably has something to do with Maya, he seems to hate everything that reminds him of her, but I can see in his eyes he also loves it.
He hates, but loves to remember her.
It makes sense to me. It hurts to remember the ones you love who have passed on, knowing that they are gone and you can't talk to them. I feel something similar with Zeph. I love to remember all the good memories I had with him, but I also hate to remember them. It always begins with the first day I met him, and then like a timeline, my memories travel through the years to my last remembrance of him, hearing his screams as he burned alive because I wasn't strong enough to save him. Then every good memory of him becomes a metaphorical knife that stabs me in the heart and sends pain shooting throughout my entire being.
I think the pain comes mostly from regret, though, wondering what you could have done differently, having no closure, no time to say goodbye.
These therapy sessions will hopefully bring Fang to some closure, and I'll keep true to my promise. I will help Fang keep Maya's memory alive, even if he forgets her.
It seems as if he already has. The angry thought popped into my head. He has a girlfriend now.
I brought my knees up to my chest and clutched them tightly as the strange pain flooded through me. I could feel tears threatening to spill over, but I didn't know why.
What is wrong with me? I never felt like this before Zeph died and I met Fang. If this is what the human world does to angels, I'm not sure I like it as much as I used to. I wonder—do humans experience these same unexplained emotions?
I find that very doubtful, humans have always seemed to me to be in complete understanding of their emotions.
"Max?" I heard Fang whisper softly so his mother couldn't hear. "Are you okay?"
I gave a slight nod, staring out the window. I looked up. The sky was an indescribable shade of blue, calling it beautiful wouldn't do it justice.
"Could you put on your seatbelt?" He asked me quietly.
I don't know why but for some reason his question irritated me and set me off. I turned towards him, seeing red.
"No." I gritted out. "I will not put my stupid, fucking seatbelt on."
Fang blinked, surprised. I paused, did I—did I just say? I can't believe it, I cursed! I shook my head, what is wrong with me? I don't curse. But I just did, I don't know what came over me.
"Max, please?"
Again the red emotion poured over me. "Just leave me alone!"
"Sounds like somebody's on their period." Fang said, letting out a low chuckle and my emotions became mixed. A part of me wished I was able to touch him so I could slap the mess out of him; again, I really have no idea why. Another was just really confused, wondering what a period was. Maybe it was similar to the human menstrual cycle that Gabriel had told me about? Then the last part of me wanted to wrap my arms around him and hold him to me.
These feelings are really strange and confusing.
Fang lost his joking manner and became serious. "Max, please, just put your seatbelt on. For me?" His eyes were sincere, begging. I found myself nodding, unable to resist his eyes. Why was I resisting such a simple request in the first place? It was stupid. I was fighting with him over wearing a seatbelt, a seatbelt.
I reached for the seatbelt just as the car came to a halt.
"We're here." Fang's mother announced, putting the car in park before turning to her son. "Okay, Fang, I know you don't want to be here, but can you promise me that you will at least try. You're going to be coming here whether you like it or not, at least try to let them help you."
Fang got out of the car, leaving his bag behind. "You make it sound as if you are dropping me off at a mental institute." He said as I climbed out of the car before he shut the door.
His mom rolled down the window. "Do I need to drop you off at a mental institution?" She teased, raising an eyebrow.
"Mom!" Fang groaned, and then they both laughed together.
How humans can fight one minute and then laugh with one another the next astounds me.
"Bye, sweetheart. I'll pick you up afterwards, okay?" She called out to Fang as he turned towards the therapy center.
He glanced back and waved. "Yeah, sure. See you later."
As his mother pulled out of the lot and drove away, Fang turned back to the building and sighed.
"Do I really have to go, Max?" He whined.
I let out a chuckle, for some reason I found the sound of his voice as he whined funny and cute.
I wonder if his girlfriend feels the same way about it as I do.
"Yes, Fang, you have to go."
He groaned.
"Will you be there with me at least?" He asked me, sounding a bit uncertain.
"Yeah, of course." I replied without hesitation.
He let out audible sigh and walked over to the entrance, pulling the door open and heading inside. Then he strode over to the counter and checked in. I peered over his shoulder as he signed his name onto the sheet, expecting his signature to be of a boyish writing style, but to my surprise it looked kind of—beautiful. It's strange, to think a signature as beautiful, but his was.
"Okay, Nicholas, just wait over there and Miss Hammond will be with you shortly." The lady behind the counter said sweetly.
"It's Fang." He muttered under his breath, low enough to where only I could hear, before heading over to his seat in the waiting room. I walked over next to him and leaned against the wall, concentrating on it just enough to where I wouldn't phase through.
"Nicholas Walker?" A woman in black slacks and a dark grey and white stripped sweater called from the hallway entrance.
Fang stood up and she beckoned him to follow her down the hallway to a room with a couch and a seat. I tagged behind the pair and glanced around the room. The room was full of warm light from several lampshades. The light had a sort of calming effect and was far more soothing than the harsh halogen lights in the waiting room.
"Please, sit." The woman said gesturing towards the couch. Fang plops down on the couch and she sits down in the wood and wicker seat beside the couch with a notepad and pen in her lap.
"It's nice to meet you, Nicholas—" She began.
"Fang." He interrupted, as she stuck her hand out to shake his. He didn't take it.
"Fang," She corrected, holding her hand out still. A few moments passed and when Fang still made no move to shake her hand she let her arm down awkwardly. "Well, my name is Miss Hammond, but you can call me Debbi."
Fang merely nodded.
"Is there anything you would like to talk about?" She inquired.
He leaned back into the couch cushions, making himself comfortable.
"Nope." He said, popping the p.
The therapist didn't miss a beat. "Fang," She said, as if testing out the way it sounded. "That's quite a strange name, can you tell me how you got it?"
Fang shifted on the couch and I sat down beside him.
"I bit someone in first grade, the kids started calling me Fang, and it stuck." He said vaguely.
"Hmm, and who was this person?" Debbi asked, watching him with her sharp hazel eyes.
Fang hesitated. "I can't remember."
I glanced over at Fang, wondering why he didn't want to tell her who it was that he bit. What was so wrong in telling her?
She smiled at him. "Fang, if you don't want to tell me, tell me that you don't want to tell me, don't lie about it."
Fang's eyes narrowed a bit, he didn't like that she could tell he had lied.
"There's just this little problem, I don't want to talk to you."
Debbi looked at him calmly. "I can see that, but that is why I'm here, so you can talk to someone."
He stood up from the couch and walked over to the bookshelf.
"I have my mom I can talk to, I have friends, I have Max," His voice rose angrily. "Why the hell do I need you?"
My heart skipped a beat.
He said my name.
I felt my being glow at the thought that he saw me as someone he could talk to, someone he could trust.
He said my name.
He said my name.
I smiled and then my eyes widened in panic.
Oh, fudge! He said my name!
The worst possibilities ran through my head. Nobody knew who I was. They would surely ask who this "Max" was and even if Fang lied and said that I was somebody he had meet online or at school, they would eventually find out. When they did they would surely send him to a mental hospital or asylum and pump him full of drugs meant to cure his "illness" of hearing voices. Then he'd really go crazy and it would all be my fault. Just like last time.
"There are some things that people, including yourself, wouldn't tell people you know because you don't want to disappoint them or have those people think any less of you because of those things. That's why I'm here, so you can get those things off your chest without having to worry about such effects." Debbi said calmly.
"Maybe I don't want those things off my chest." Fang retorted, anger blazing in his eyes as he began to pace from one end of the long bookshelf to the other.
"The only way you are going to heal is to get those things off your chest, to move on."
He paused and whirled around. "Move on?"
Oh, chocolate chip cookies, this is not good.
"Move on?" He said in a louder, more agitated voice.
"Fang," I said running up to him and pleaded. "Fang, please calm down."
He turned towards me, pinpointing the direction of my voice with eerie accuracy. There was a certain amount of shock and hurt in his eyes and it cut me to the core.
"I thought you understood." He whispers and walks out the door.
I chase after him.
"Fang, wai—" The door comes back and I phase through it letting out an 'oof' sound as that strange feeling courses through me.
God, I hate that feeling.
I quickly get my wits about me and catch sight of Fang leaving the building. I race after him and phase through the entrance door, then I look around and see Fang straight ahead of me, he's walking fast and with purpose. His head is facing straight forward as if he was on a mission.
I run up to him and try to apologize but he won't acknowledge me. It's as if he can't even hear me, but I know he can. I feel a gut-wrenching dread. What if he never talks to me again?
Why does it matter so much to me that he does? I want that connection to the human world, but what's the point? It's not like I could ever become a part of it.
I'm not supposed to be talking to Fang anyway, it's against the rules.
Maybe not talking to one another is for the best. After all, I could have landed Fang in the asylum today just because I have been talking to him.
I need to stop being so reckless.
Fang is my ward. I'm supposed to protect him. I'm not supposed to talk to him.
I look down at the ground as I walk beside him, slowly falling behind.
I can't talk to him again, it's too risky.
Gathering up all the strength I can muster, I prepare myself to tell him goodbye. I won't be leaving him, I'll always be watching over him, but this will be the last time he will hear from me.
It's only right to say goodbye.
I pause in the middle of the road and watch as he continues to walk away. My heart wrenches at the scene.
"Goodbye, Fang. I'm sorry." I say and turn away to walk down the center of the road like the ghost that I am, not caring if cars pass through me. That feeling of objects passing through me is nothing compared to the pain radiating from my chest.
"What? Max wh—" I heard Fang ask in confusion. I won't reply, I can't. Then his voice turns to pure panic. "Max! Watch out!"
Suddenly I'm on the ground and Fang is there with me. I hear the blare of a horn and the yells of an angry driver.
"What the hell? Kid, get out of the effing road! I could have effing killed you!" The driver called out at Fang angrily.
"How about you watch where you're driving, huh?" Fang replied, not seeming to fully take in the driver's words with the anger that is rolling off his shoulders. "You could have killed someone!"
The disgruntled driver sat back in his car, muttering under his breath.
I let out an angry breath and glared at Fang.
"Why the hell did you run out into the street?" I yelled at him, seeing red. My ward had just endangered his life for no reason. "It's my job to keep you safe and you're running around, jumping in front of cars?"
I felt something pull me to my feet and over to the sidewalk. "That's a great way to say thank you to someone who just saved your life." Fang said, slightly condescending.
I looked at him confused. "What do you—" I started and then noticed his eyes were staring straight at me again, completely focused. This was starting to get strange— I glanced down, and my eyes grew wide.
Holy fudge tacos.
His olive skinned hand was wrapped around my wrist.
He was touching me.
I ripped my hand away, frightened. Feeling the loss of contact instantaneously. What did this mean?
I shook my head and backed away.
"That's—that's not possible." I said to myself, scared out of my wits.
He wasn't supposed to be able to touch me. This was something outside the realm of what I knew, and—and—I liked it. But it also terrified me.
This was against all angelic law.
Humans and angels weren't supposed to be able to interact like this.
"Max?" Fang asked, concern lacing his voice.
I backed away slowly, shaking my head.
If the angelic authorities ever found out about Fang's ability to see and touch angels, they might kill him—no, they would kill him. There was something unnatural at work here, and anything deemed to be "against" nature, against what the angels deemed to be, supposedly, "outside" of what the creator made was to be extinguished, terminated, killed.
The more he was in contact with me, the more likely he was to be discovered, and thus the more likely he was to be killed.
My duty is to protect Fang, and I will, even against my own kin.
If that means staying away from Fang, then so be it.
I turned and ran as fast as I could.
"Max!" I heard Fang call from behind, and soon followed the slapping of soles upon the pavement as he chased after me. I ran all the faster, dodging this way and that, down one alleyway and then another. Still, Fang kept pace, hot on my heels.
I turned and suddenly I was facing a brick wall. I turned to go back but heard Fang running my way. Flipping around, I faced the brick wall. I knew I had no choice but to go through it, even though I hated phasing through walls, I had to do it this time.
For Fang's sake.
I took a deep breath and sprinted towards the wall, leaping through it.
A/N
Me: So, what did you guys think? I hoped you liked it, sorry for the long wait!
BFF: Annnnnndddd guess what?
Fang: It's my Point of View next chapter. *smirk*
BFF: Heeeyyy! That was my line! *narrowed eyes*
Fang: Not anymore, I stole it. *sticks tongue out* :P
BFF: Jerk.
Fang: Shopaholic.
BFF: Emo goth weirdo.
Fang: Don't you mean "hot emo goth weirdo"?
BFF: Egotistical maniac!
Fang: ajfbiwlfniuruws *muffled by Wander's hand*
Me: Okay, I think that's enough insults for one day. Sorry guys, no review responses this time, in the interest of getting this to you as soon as possible I cut them out this time. I hope this chapter answered some of your questions, if not, please review and ask. This story is still unfolding however, so some questions I will not be able to answer at the moment, these questions will be answered later on in the story or after more information is revealed.
Also, to those who have asked me to read their stories, I will be happy to, and I'm sorry that I haven't been able to get to them earlier. Hopefully I will be able to soon.
BFF: Bye! See you next chapter!
Me: *Texas accent* Love y'all! Please review!