The men did well enough in preparation, and an incident involving Elyan and the horses aside, all went smoothly. In no time the crew was off to the woods, and in a way it thing were almost like it they always were. But only almost. No one could deny how much quieter everything was without Merlin's ever-present chatter. Even when depressed the boy had always found some irrelevent topic to lift everyone's spirits. The problem was, no one had to chance to learn how to lift Merlin's.
It was a slow moving trip, and at night everyone somberly sat down, leaving the rest of the journey for the morning. Merlin silently prepared food for the knights as he had always done, before retreating several yards away from everyone else. In a way, it was like Merlin was no more than a servant.
Arthur started into his tin bowl, stirring it's contents. He had no appetite, and if he didn't need to travel in the morning he may not have eaten anything at all. The knights echoed Arthur's silence, stealing guilty glances at the king and the warlock. After half an hour or so of the stilted meal, it became a different sort of game. Percival would stare at Elyan, and Elyan Gwaine. Without sound, each asked the others to do something about this situation. In the end, it was Leon who cleared his throat, signaling his intent to speak. As if breaking out of some sort of trance, Arthur's head shot up from his meal.
"Sire," Leon began "I wanted to talk to you about a few political matters." Arthur almost smiled at this, greatful for any sense of normalcy he could find.
"Right then, Leon. What is it?" The knight sighed.
"Well, your honor, I was thinking that perhaps it would be wise for us to outlaw the use of daggers in Camelot. What say you to this proposition?" Arthur furrowed his brows at this. The rest of the knights did so as well, no doubt thinking their friend mad. Arthur placed his bowl down.
"Tell me, Leon. Why on earth would I want to ban the use of daggers in Camelot? That doesn't even make any sense." Leon shrugged, and allowed himself a small smile.
"It's just that I was thinking, and well, you can hurt people with daggers, you know. Kill them, even." Leon then staged a thoughtful expression. "Then again, I suppose that wouldn't be very wise, would it?"
"No!" Arthur exclaimed, feeling as if everyone in Camelot had gone insane- himself included. Leon nodded.
"Yes, of course. Because, you know, you can hurt with daggers. But…." His eyes met Arthur's. "That's a risk we have to take. Because although they can be dangerous, they can be wonderful. You see, there are many useful ways to use knives and such. You can skin an animal, cut meat to feed your family. You can use them to make clothes or to carve wood. And in a way, that is beautiful." Everyone in the camp save for Merlin was staring at Leon now, mouths slightly agape. Arthur swallowed. He opened his mouth, but no words escaped it. Leon sighed and turned to look at the fire that the knights were all sitting around.
"Fire now, perhaps we could make that illegal. I have seen many a nasty burn in my day, and homes destroyed by a hungry flame. But we won't do that. We won't do that because fire can keep you warm and safe. It can shape metal, it can make meals, it can save. Fire is beautiful." Leon stood now, his voice raising as he did.
"Rope, Arthur, should we no longer use that? A man can hang himself with rope, that's bad isn't it? You can use it for evil! No. No, because you can use it to lift something beyond your strength! To bind together bags or clothes, to build houses!" Leon's voice jumped almost to a shout, as he uttered a final line. "And that, Arthur, is beautiful." The knight drew a breath, and almost shocked at what he had said, again sat down.
Arthur's head was facing Leon's, but he was no longer looking at the knight. Pain was etched into his features, and for a single moment his jaw quivered. Leon could almost see Uther as an embroidery needle shooting in and out of Arthur, the influence of his father being sewn into the man. Then suddenly, before his own eyes, Leon saw Arthur cut the thread. The king blinked, and in that moment the whole forest seemed to pause in suspense. Leon dared to speak again, this time in a softer tone than before.
"There are things in this world, Arthur. Things that people are wrongfully inclined to falsely label. There are things good and true. It is the man who holds an instrument that chooses whether something is good or evil, and it is the man that is to be judged. Magic is not evil; it is the one who wields it who makes it such. But men like Merlin, they make it into something else. They use it to build kingdoms. They use it to serve. They use it to save lives. They make it, in a word, beautiful."
Leon swallowed and picked up his dinner, a sign that he had said all that he had needed to. At this point Merlin turned to face the two men. The reflection of their campfire echoed in his eyes, red and yellow and gold. A single tear ran down the warlock's cheek.
Author's note: I am the worst fanficer ever. Also, I do not own Merlin. Sadly. I miss that show…. Sigh.