Lily set yet another book aside. Nothing. Again. How could she have read so many books – Potions books, Charms books, Defense Books, even Transfiguration books – and not have even one offer her a solution?

She listened to Simple Man blast from the common room for the hundredth time. Apparently James was a Skynyrd fan.

She glanced toward her door, and bit her lip. He might be able to help. And he had offered. Several times. It was foolish of her not to make use of such a willing aide.

She slipped into the common room, grinning from ear to ear at the sight she found. James was lying on the couch, rocking an air guitar to rival the finest muggles.

She watched him finish out the song. When the next track started, he got up to replay Simple Man. He paused, seeing her watching him.

"Hi," he said. His hands drifted down to his pockets. He rocked back on his heels. "It's, uh. It's not too loud, is it?"

"It's fine," she said, still smiling.

"I know I looked ridiculous." He tried to shrug the embarrassment off, had little success.

"Adorable, actually," she said. "Just a little bit." She leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on his lips.

Surprise and pleasure showed clearly on his face. "In that case, you should see my Free Bird."

She dropped onto the couch next to him. He followed her lead, sitting back down without changing the song.

"I thought about your offer."

He smirked at her. "Which offer." He wiggled his eyebrows up and down.

She smacked him casually on the arm. "The one to help with the notes."

"Oh." All innuendo evaporated. "Sure. Yeah. Anything."

"I just . . . wondered if you had any ideas, of how I could track the notes."

"Why don't you tell me what you've tried?" he suggested. "Actually, why don't you tell me everything? When the notes started, how you get them, how often, all of that."

She hesitated. "And it'll just be between us."

"Yes," he said, though he still looked disturbed at the request. "It isn't Sirius, I'm sure of that. But I won't say anything to anyone. You have my word."

She bit her lip, considering. "Alright," she said. And she told him everything she could remember.

"Have you had any encounters, in person, that were similar?" he asked, when she had finished.

"The closest is Sirius." At James' look, she rushed to explain. "I don't mean it's the same. I mean, it's a combination of insults and drawings. And he has used the word "filth" quite often, which has come up, once or twice, in the notes.

James sighed. "It isn't him," he said. He stared at her for a long time. She knew him well enough to be sure he wasn't really looking at her, but at something she couldn't see. "He'd hate me telling you this. Telling anyone really. But, I think it's best you know why I'm so sure it's not him."

Lily gave him her full attention.

"You're right about his family. They're very . . . old-fashioned. Really horrible, actually. All of them. Maybe he would have been like that; I don't know. But being in Gryffindor, I think that changed things for him. Let him see another side." He stared blankly into the distance. "They're – his family, that is – they think Voldemort has the right idea." He shook his head. "Idiots. Anyway, Sirius doesn't. And I guess it came to a head, a while back. Regalus was talking about wanting to join them, when he finishes school, and his parents thought it was a great idea. Very brave. Very selfless." He sounded disgusted.

"Sirius," he continued, "thought it was stupid. He told Regalus as much. That he'd get himself killed, and for what? Some wanker that's half as human as the people he's raging against." James smiled slightly at that. "That's a quote. I guess his mother was very offended by the word 'wanker'." He shook his head. "Anyway, he left. Walked out. They disowned him, I guess. They're not a very forgiving family. And he hasn't been back since."

Lily didn't know what to say.

"Which is why I'm so sure it's not Sirius. I mean, I'd be sure anyway, because he doesn't care about that crap. But after what happened with his family, I promise you can be sure too."

"OK," she said, biting her nails. "I'll look elsewhere." She hesitated, not wanting to upset him. "But I'd really rather you still keep it to yourself. Even if it's not him, I don't trust him not to . . ." She shrugged helplessly. "Do something unfortunate with the information."

James sighed. After a moment, he nodded. "I guess that's fair. Anyway, I won't tell anyone. You wanted that to be your choice, so it is."

"Thanks."

He tapped on his knee for a moment. "That's it, though? No attacks in the halls? Nothing in person?"

"I get called mudblood, often enough, but that's about it. Nothing really sinister."

"Who calls you that?" he half-rose, ready to march off and handle them himself.

"Half the school, James. It's been that way for ages."

The information deflated him. "Really? I've never noticed."

She shrugged. "You wouldn't, would you? It's not as though it would ever be directed at you."

"Well, we should make a list, of people who've said it to you."

"They're all on my list of suspects. As well as I can remember, anyway."

"Snivellus is on there, right?" he asked.

She rolled her eyes. "Don't call him that."

"You're going to defend him?"

"I'm not defending him. I just don't like you calling him that. And yes, he's on there too."

"Good," he muttered.

"Why do you hate him so much, anyway?"

"I've never met anyone so . . . enamored of the dark arts." James shivered, disgusted. "What's there to like about him?"

She shrugged. "He used to be nice. Still can be, honestly." She glanced at James, and away again.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Say it."

"No."

"Lily."

"No. It's just going to start a fight."

"Well, now you have to tell me." His teeth were clenched, his fists closed.

"Fine," she snapped. "He's a little like you, really. To my mind."

Fury poured off him in waves. "How is that?" he growled.

"You're both nice to me in private."

"The reverse being that we're both bastards in public."

"You more than him, actually. Historically speaking, anyway."

"Lovely. That's just fantastic. So, on my tombstone, it should really read: 'Not a death eater, but still a bit worse than Severus Bloody Snape.' Wonderful."

She sighed. "I said historically. He's gotten worse over the years. You seem to be getting better."

"Seem to be."

"Well, yes. Push hasn't really come to shove yet, has it?"

"What is it that you want me to do, exactly?"

"I don't want you to do anything. I'm just saying, before you run around acting all high and mighty, you might think whether you have the right to be."

"I don't do dark magic!" he shouted.

"Maybe part of that is because no one has ever made you feel weak enough to need it!" she yelled back.

"So you're blaming me for him being a monster?"

"NO!" She took a breath. "No," she said, much more calmly. "No. I'm not doing that. I'm saying, I think sometimes people turn to that sort of thing because they want to find a way to be stronger. Because they feel powerless. You've never felt that way, James. I'm not sure you have any right to judge them."

"Especially when I'm one of the ones who makes them feel powerless? That's the other half of that, right?"

"I suppose that's part, yeah. Have you ever thought who Severus might be if you'd befriended him, instead of bullying him?"

"An even bigger bastard, apparently."

She sighed. "I'm explaining myself poorly."

"I think you're explaining yourself perfectly. It's crystal clear, what you think of me."

"Is it? Because I'm not even sure what I think of you. It seems a little hard to believe you would know."

He snorted.

"All I was trying to say was that I would prefer you not call him that. That's it, James. I wasn't trying to defend him. I wasn't trying to insult you. I was just asking you not to call him that. That's it."

"Fine."

She rubbed her hands over her face, started to rise. "This was stupid. I'll just-"

"No, don't. I'm sorry." He caught her arm.

"James."

"I want to help. I do. I shouldn't have-"

"It's fine. You're upset. You're allowed to be upset."

"Good, so, we're fine now. You said what you thought, I said what I thought, we move on. And you let me try to help you."

She sat back down. "Don't you think this situation is a little . . . fraught. It's like we're walking through a mine-field and expecting not to get blown up."

"That didn't really make any sense to me. Is that a muggle saying?"

She blinked at him, surprised. "Oh. Yeah. Sorry. It's like . . . I don't know the wizard equivalent. Basically, we're bound to have things work out badly."

"No, we're not. We just need to be adults about it. I won't call him Sni-" He cut himself off. "I'll call him Snape. Problem solved."

"Until there's another problem."

"And if there is, we just talk about it."

"Fight about it."

He shrugged. "Fighting is just talking, but a bit louder."

She laughed. "You're ridiculous."

"I'm trying to be mature here. Go with it."

She leaned her head on his shoulder, sensed his surprise. "Fine."

His arm came up around her slowly, cautiously. She thought he would say something, but he just rested his chin on her head. They'd finish talking about the notes later.