"Come on, mate, cheer up," Sirius said, nudging James' arm. "It's Christmas."

"Not quite," James said, surveying the party. He wished she had agreed to come. She would have worn a muggle dress. She would have looked spectacular. She would have given him something to like about the party.

"Close enough. And we're at a party." Sirius' gaze swept over the room. "Your parents and I don't have exactly the same taste in parties, but there are a lot of fit birds. Selene LeBlanc is looking particularly fit. I'll give you first crack at her."

James had to smile at that. "And pauper yourself? I wouldn't have it."

Sirius scanned the room, and James knew he was tallying the number of shaggable girls. "There are quite a few decent options."

"I'm alright, Sirius," James said. "Why don't you go chat up Selene?"

"Well," Sirius grinned, the dog coming out in him, "if you insist."

"Not in the mood to flirt?" Remus asked. James jumped at the sound. He hadn't noticed the other boy approach.

"Where's Peter?" he asked.

"Wasn't feeling well." Remus leaned on a banister, looking over the party from the second floor of James' house. "So?"

"I guess not," James said.

"That wouldn't have anything to do with Lily Evans, would it?" Remus asked.

James went still. "Why would you think that?"

Remus raised an eyebrow. "For starters, you've been acting strange all year," he said. "Started right around when you moved into those rooms with her. Rooms you won't let us anywhere near."

He shrugged. "I'm trying to take this whole Head Boy business seriously."

"Mmhhmm." Remus scratched his jaw, looking just a bit uncomfortable. "I had a thing for her, fifth year," he said.

James' head snapped around. "You what?"

"Nothing there, alright," Remus said, amused eyes on the party rather than James.

"I don't think I heard you right," James said. "Did you say you had a thing for Lily? For Evans?"

Remus nodded, as calm as ever. "I did. She's quite fit. Sweet, too. And funnier than I ever expected. But I guess you know all that."

James said nothing.

"She knows about me," Remus continued.

"What?"

"It's why I never really pursued it." He looked rueful. "That and you lot."

"How did she-"

"We were set to patrol together. She's a clever girl. I think she knew already, but it wasn't hard for her to confirm, with me having to miss patrol around full moons."

"You never said anything," James said, allowing the flash of jealousy to dissipate.

"What was I going to say? You lot have always hated her."

James scrubbed a hand through his hair. "Hate's a bit of a strong word."

"Not really," Remus said, smiling over at James. "Loathe would have been accurate, too. I never really understood it."

"What's to understand? We were spoiled. She made our lives a little bit more difficult." He shrugged.

"And now?" Remus asked.

"Merlin. Now . . ." he shook his head. "I wish I could take it all back."

"Are you two . . . ?" Remus trailed off, making a vague gesture.

"Twirling in a circle?" James offered. Remus laughed. "Something like that." He stared out at the party. "I like her a lot. Not just because she's fit, and sweet, and funny, and clever."

"She's warm," Remus commented. "I could see you liking that. I know I did."

The jealousy returned with a vengeance. "Did you guys ever-"

"No," Remus said. "Aside from the problem of you and Sirius, she knew about me. And she deserved better."

"How much does it piss you off that she's wasting her time with me?" James asked.

"Depends on if she's wasting her time or not, I guess." Remus paused. "If you want to know the truth, I was jealous, when you stopped Sirius mocking her, in class that time."

"Why would that make you jealous?" Comprehension dawned. "Merlin, Remus, she doesn't sound like a stuck pig."

Shock covered Remus' face, replaced quickly with laughter. "I didn't mean that. And I guess that answers the question of what's going on between you two."

James' eyes widened.

"I won't say anything," Remus assured him. "And that wasn't what I meant." He shook his head. "I never stepped up. However much I liked her, I never told you guys to lay off."

"You looked disappointed in us," James said.

Remus snorted. "Yeah. That really worked wonders."

James turned and leaned against the bannister, facing away from the party. "I invited her to come tonight."

"Really?"

"Yeah. She said no. That it was a terrible idea."

"She doesn't mince her words, does she?"

"No," James laughed. "No, she doesn't."

Remus clapped him on the shoulder. "I'm happy for you, mate. Honestly. Now don't screw it up."

As he walked away, James wondered just how to follow Remus' advice.