A/N: Thanks and love to all of you who left kind, reassuring messages, and are walking this with me, even if the story is going down an unsettling path. This has been quite a tough story to write, and I am just so grateful to those who are enjoying this slow-build up, and are willing to accept that "sometimes someone has to come along and grease the closet door first..." (thanks for your comment, and LOL, MJ1!)

Chapter 07

The iPhone nagged on and on and on, until Jane's fingers found it on her nightstand and brought it under the covers. The brightness of the screen blinded her one half opened eye. The screen told her it was 5:30 am, Saturday, and the voice informed her that someone was lying dead in an alley.

The first conscious thought was "Maura kissed that woman."

She threw the covers back over her head as if they could stop the flood of other confessions, thoughts, and questions -some of them too unsettling to even consider.

The snooze setting kicked in, and she forced her brain to lure her into action with the promise of work.

Less than an hour later she got out of her car and met Korsak at the crime scene. Maura was nowhere in sight. The victim was a scrawny young guy; he was lying over a cardboard with a large brownish stain on it. She shook Maura out of her head and pointed at the victim with her chin.

"Drugs?" She ventured when she saw the marks on his arms.

Korsak shrugged. "Possibly, but they didn't kill him; the bullets did. Where's Maura?"

How should I know? Why are you asking me? Try her girlfriend.

A familiar tip-tap of high heels grew louder behind them. "I'm here. Good morning, Vince. Jane."

Jane tilted her head and all that her face muscles could come up was a bland simper. Maura's eyes smiled back at her, riding over an affectionate nod.

After Korsak briefed them, an already gloved-up Maura left to tend to the victim. Jane hovered in the background, glad that Korsak had business elsewhere.

Maura call them to join her after her prelim examination was over. "The bullets did not seem to have hit any major organ, but the stabs may have." She pointed at the three entry points. "I'll know more after the autopsy."

Korsak shook his head. "Shot and then stabbed? That's nasty."

"Or proof of an enraged or drugged someone who can't shoot for shit."

"That'd be speculating, Jane." Maura skipped commenting on Jane's choice of words.

"That'd be a way of passing time and having something to go until you do the autopsy." The smirk was softened by the glint on Jane's eyes. "Will you do it today?"

"I'm afraid I have no choice, but don't worry. I'll still have time to help you with the—" Maura cut herself short, stealing a glance at Korsak.

She nodded Jane to follow her. Once they were at a safe distance, Maura continued.

"You asked me for my help to choose a birthday present for Korsak."

Jane's mouth slowly formed an understanding 'O' and nodded. Instead of spending an afternoon moving from the bed to the couch and being a class-A brainless slob, she'd be solving a murder and then trying to stop Maura from buying an entire Mall. She shrugged and nodded.

"I completely forgot about it. Thanks, Maura?" Without knowing why, she didn't vocalize the "What would I do without you" part.

Maura wiggled her shoulders and gave her a tiny smug smile. As she approached her car, Jane's last comment came back, stinging her. Her tone had been flat, but her eyes… Jane seemed sad, despite having sworn she was okay before leaving last night. Out of all possible emotions, Maura wondered why would Jane be sad. She pondered on that until she got to the morgue, coming up empty. The chill in the air distracted her, forcing her into full work mode – all fruitless processing forgotten for the time being.

.

.

Maura sat back on her chair and rubbed the bridge of her nose. The autopsy had taken her longer than expected, which wouldn't have been a problem if her mind hadn't intermittently assaulted her with images of Julia and Jane and a whole ensemble of doubts, questions and insecurities. She felt exhausted.

It had been Jane who had helped her cement her decision. She had made it sound so simple, so easy. But clearly it wasn't simple or easy for Jane. In fact, it was as if she were almost disgusted. It was clear that Jane tended to treat facts as black or white, but she was not a closed-minded person. So why?

"I really hope you had more luck than me." The hoarse, familiar voice made her jolt. Maura raised her head just in time to see Jane letting her body fall on her couch, then wince.

"I had some interesting insights, but you look like you need food and coffee." Maura circled her desk and joined Jane.

Jane groaned and threw her head back. "I don't want to go shopping. Let's go for hotdogs and then to the batting cage instead. Please?"

Maura ignored Jane's grin, trying not to dwell on her reaction last time Jane had grinned at her over a glass of wine.

"Do you plan on getting Korsak a season pass for the batting cage for his birthday?"

"There are no seasons passes for… Wait. Was that a joke? Whoa, way to go, Maura!"

Maura shook her head, loving to see Jane joking as usual. "Come on, let's go get something to eat before shopping. Leave your car at home, I'll drive you."

.

.

"Seriously. Cambridge? I thought you wanted to shop in Back Bay…"

Maura grinned. "You wait and see. You'll like it."

Jane loved it, and loved Maura for knowing always what she needed even before she did.

The restaurant was small and unassuming, but had a small courtyard at the back that looked like right out of an Italian village. Or, at least, looking like what Jane thought an Italian village patio should look like. She loved it, and although her appreciative comments never went beyond "Nice" and "Hmm", Jane looked like a kid enjoying the food with all her being. Maura sat back, softly smiling, unclouded by memories, comments or doubts, enjoying the beautiful sight.

"So, ready to face some shopping?" Maura ventured as Jane had just finished her mascarpone.

"Can we play hooky and give him an Amazon voucher instead?"

Maura laughed. "Of course not. But I promise I will not drag you into every shoe shop."

"Okay. Let's get him a decent tie. Ours is nice, but the others give me a headache."

"We bought him a tie last year."

"Yeah, and he's worn it every second day. He really needs another one."

Maura rolled her eyes and asked for the bill.

An hour later, Maura was driving back home, tired but elated. A new tie and a shirt slept on a fancy packet on the backseat and Jane had survived the shopping ordeal unscathed. The sun was still high, but soft enough to make the red brick and cement of Boston shine in all its glory.

"It's such a wonderful afternoon." Maura's voice was soft, almost as if speaking to herself. Turning briefly to Jane at the red light, she grinned.

"I have an idea. We're almost at the Common. Let's grab a drink at the Earl."

It was not an activity that would usually made the top of Jane's list, but everything was just fine, and she wanted to hold on to the much-needed cozy, relaxed feeling. The afternoon ebbed away between laughter, easy conversation and comfortable silences. This is how it should always be, Jane thought with a pang of pain. But I need to face this and get it over and done with, so things can go back to normal.

"Tell me about her."

Jane's unexpected comment, uttered after a long stretch of silence, made Maura's heart jolt. She focused on the soft sun of the afternoon warming her closed lids.

"It's okay, Jane." Maura waved her hand.

No. It's not and I'm really, really sorry for having reacted like an ass. The words never left Jane's mouth. Instead, Jane stretched her hand and held Maura's. She briefly caressed it with her thumb before squeezing it gently and letting it go again. The touch was warm. Maura knew it was born out of a clumsiness with words, but it still made her shiver. It wasn't a new feeling, but somehow now it had a different connotation: it felt too close to what she felt with Julia.

"I haven't spoken to her. I don't know what is going to happen."

Jane saw Maura lost in thought. Words formed in her chest and she was powerless to stop them. "Is this really what you want?"

Maura nodded, a small shrug moving her shoulders forward for a brief second. "I think so. This may be unexpected, unplanned, new, but it feels good. And I do not care about labels and expectations of what I should do or not do, so what else is there to worry about?" Maura's voice trailed off following the still-fresh memories of Julia, completely unaware of the grimace in Jane's face. "Except, of course, her own reluctance. Let's not forget that."

After that, they remained in silence finishing their drinks before leaving.

The last part of the conversation in the park haunted Jane the rest of the evening; it had felt like a downpour in the last inning of a winning game. She had retreated home drenched by a renewed attack of unknown feelings, and the suffocating sensation that she was not only letting Maura down, but that she was allowing herself to get lost in a whole bunch of doubts, questions and fears that went much further than Maura's infatuation with that woman.

Disappointing and hurting Maura by acting as a child throwing a tantrum was bad enough, but the mounting confusion was just too exhausting. It was just a stupid, bad reaction to an unexpected event, and it was getting totally out of control.

She needed to sleep, get up, go for a run, solve a case.

She needed this to stop, starting right now.

.