A/N: This chapter has been cooked and served to be read slowly. It's full of subtle clues, and you don't want to miss them. Enjoy! ;D

Chapter 14 - Saturday morning

Maura woke up in a sweat.

It was 6:10 a.m., eight hours -almost to the minute- that Jane had left her with the world upside down, and her body like a mangled mess of raw nerves. She got up and took a shower, hoping it would melt the heavy knots in her neck and shoulders.

The hot water slid down her skin, revealing one thought after the other but none making sense. The throbbing headache was getting worse. Without even thinking about it, she chose a running outfit and went downstairs to get an Advil with some yoghurt.

As she forced the yoghurt down, her brain got stuck in the main issue: how could it be that she had confused Jane with Julia?

She chose a different route for her run so she was forced to watch where she was going. The chilly air of the still dark morning began to work its magic. Step by step, a highly disciplined Maura controlled her breathing and soon her thoughts. What she couldn't control was her body. She still felt the electricity; a heat flowing from deep within that had been awoken by eyes that she thought they were looking at her with the same intensity, and the same way, as Julia did. But that, she was certain of, had been just her imagination. Jane had never -and would never, ever- look at her like that.

Maybe it was a lot simpler than she feared. She had only been intimate once with Julia, although she had wanted more. She had held back out of fear of confusing Julia with Jane again. She shouldn't have done that; she knew well that fear is what we should fear the most.

But then, she ended up confusing Jane with Julia.

She kept running at a steady -although hard- pace while her brain searched hard and deep for theories and studies until she concluded that she was struggling with a simple case of subconscious transfer, triggered by their similar physical appearances, and nothing more.

It couldn't be anything more.

The only logical way out of this was to be with Julia again, give her body what it demanded so she wouldn't displace her feelings again.

She returned home focused, eager to see Julia again, convinced that this held the key to unravel whatever had happened. She showered, dressed, and patiently waited until it was after 9 a.m., when she knew Julia would be already awake.

At 9:02 a.m. she dialled Julia's number. The delight in the smiley, soft voice warmed her up. For the first time since the night before, her chest felt released.

Half an hour later Maura rang Julia's doorbell. A beaming smile greeted her into a sun-lit, cozy, different place; it was exactly what she needed.

"I'm lucky I have so much work; the last few days felt too long. I'm so happy to see you again." Julia reached in and softly kissed Maura, and then retreated to the kitchen to pour some coffee.

"I thought you had plans today?" Julia looked lovely today, dressed with short, blue running shorts and a loose t-shirt and her hair tied in a ponytail.

"I do, but later. I hope I'm not disrupting your plans." Maura couldn't stop staring at her. She looked gorgeous, and adorable, and... Maura closed her eyes purposefully, forcing the thoughts to stop before they even began.

Julia gave Maura a hot mug and settled close to her on the couch. Maura caught a very familiar whiff.

"Your hair... It smells nice." Maura was hoping that she had imagined it.

"Like it? It's a new hair mask I bought yesterday. It's works really well, actually, perfect for curly hair. Anyway, the only plan you're disrupting is working on weekends. Glad you did, by the way." Julia reached in and gave Maura a quick, light kiss. Maura forced the kiss to deepen. Her hands flew to Julia, and slid under her top.

"Wow, I'm glad you're so happy to see me..." Julia tilted back her head to look at Maura. "Sure you don't want your coffee first?"

Maura replied with a kiss on Julia's neck. All words were lost after that, as clothes were discarded and hands fumbled trying to quench a thirst for skin. Maura let Julia take over, all thoughts finally leaving her to be replaced with the intense pleasure brought by those skillful hands. It felt so good to feel her soft skin and lips ravishing her. It felt amazing to have her knowing fingers reducing her world to an enthralling heartbeat deep down inside. In a matter of minutes, Maura knew she was close, so close. She buried her head in the crook of the slender, familiar neck, and inhaled the wonderful smell of the hair mask she had bought for her three months ago, and let her body go.

Her voice escaped her lips ragged, bursting with love and desire.

"Oh... please, Jane!"

The contact ended suddenly, leaving Maura dizzy with loss just as she was at the edge. She opened her eyes and saw Julia. She was gaping, her brow tight, her eyes cold and questioning.

"Jane?"

Maura sat up, bewildered. "What?"

"You just… You called me Jane."

The room spun; Maura closed her eyes and leaned back, aware of every single symptom of a strong anxiety attack crashing on her.

.

.

"Drink this. It's Kava with honey." Julia handed her the hot mug of herbal tea and sat on the couch, keeping her distance and her hands deep in her towel robe's pockets.

Maura sat on the couch, her chest still aching, her hands and face still tingling but at least she could breathe almost normally again.

"You know, it's my fault." Julia's comment stupefied Maura.

"Whatever do you mean?"

"I knew it. The first time I saw you with her, I felt it. I knew there was something really strong between you two. I should have trusted my guts, but then, you told me you were straight and…" Julia bit her lips and nodded. "I believed you but-"

"I told you the truth, Julia. I can't lie, I faint or get hives if I do."

Julia's despondent smile tore Maura inside.

"I'm really sorry, Julia. I don't know what happened, or why. I truly don't understand it..."

"I'm sorry too."

"You are sorry?"

Julia nodded, doleful eyes attempting a smile. "I like you so much, Maura, and I hope you know that, but I can't do this. I just can't. I can't sit here and process with you why it happened, or what it means because it's too painful. Too painfully clear, even if you don't want to see or admit it."

.

.

Maura knew she had to get up and to go to the Dirty Robber. She could not lie her way out, and she had the presents for Korsak. She couldn't stay in this coffeeshop for ever; she had to face reality sooner or later.

She called the waiter and settled the bill, resigned to leave the safety of the far away seaside café where she had spent all day since leaving Julia's house and after aimlessly driving around for an hour. The skin around her eyes stung and she rearranged her sunglasses. She could tell her makeup was caked with dry tears, and a visit to the bathroom confirmed it. Luckily she had enough material in her bag to fix it.

If only it would be that easy to fix everything else.

Just before putting her car in drive, she checked again her phone. There were no new messages. She opened again, for the umpteenth time, the short exchange of messages with Jane earlier in the day. She re-read the last message two messages, even if she knew them by heart.

"I'm so sorry Maur, I was tired and I don't know, pls pls pls don't be mad at me. R we ok?"

"It's okay, Jane. Don't be sorry. I'm fine. We're fine."

She wondered how it was possible that she could lie so overtly in a text message without getting hives. She closed the messages, stashed the phone in her bag and headed for the party, fighting the crushing guilt of having hurt Julia as she discovered what she knew now to be the truth.

Half an hour later she stood at the entrance door to the Dirty Robber. She took a deep breath, straightened her head and shoulders and walked in.

Jane was standing by the bar, laughing with Angela and Korsak, blissfuly unaware of the tsunami that had crashed at Julia's house. Frankie, Nina and a few others were already there -even her trusted Suzie had joined in.

Jane saw her and waved, the spark in her eyes dying as she saw Maura's eyes. She had seen those tortured eyes before, in the dream, even if the eyeliner was intact. Her stomach churned. In three large strides she stood next to her.

"Maura?"

"Hello, Jane." Maura stood immobile, her bent arm holding her handbag and the bag with the presents, her hands pressed tight together. Jane could see right through the fake smile, deep into those dreamed red-rimmed hazel eyes that were now clearly avoiding her. As she tried to speak, Maura stopped her.

"Not now, Jane. We have a party going and presents to give." With a quick flicker, her eyes met Jane's and in that split fraction of a second, she managed to convince Jane to let go. She sat between Suzie and Frankie and ordered a glass of wine.

Jane sat next to Angela and Korsak. They seemed to be having a competition to see who could come up with the funniest, weirdest anecdote of working behind the bar - not that she was actually paying any attention. She just limited herself to laugh when they did, but her full attention was on Maura, sitting at the longest ten feet away ever.

The bar started to receive their first paying customers and the party ended, although nobody left. Maura was now talking to Suzie. She seemed fine now. Jane saw Frankie pointing at the jukebox. He put in some money, punched a few keys and turned around, grinning. Jane heard the first chords of a very familiar tune. Frankie met her eyes and raised his thumb up before joining some hot chick he had been talking to.

Well, make a wish, baby
And I will make it come true
Make a list baby, of the things I'll do for you
Ain't no risk girl in lettin' my love rain down on you
So we can wash away the past so that we may start anew

Ambrosia's song rose above the chitchat of the bar. She looked at Maura, smiling with earnest. When their eyes met, the smile died as Jane saw tears welling up in Maura's eyes. She quickly got off the stool but before she could reach her, Maura had already stood up and was headed for the door, her hand reaching for her face.

"Maura, wait!" In a few easy strides, Jane caught up to Maura and followed her outside the bar. When Maura didn't stop, Jane put her hand on her arm but Maura lowered her hand breaking the contact.

"Don't, Jane, please. I need to go."

"Then I'm coming with you."

"You can't leave without saying goodbye."

"And you can because…?"

"Then go back and tell them I had to go, that I'm not feeling well."

"And they're going to believe me that I let you go feeling ill because…?" Jane nodded patiently, her eyebrows up, as the sheer logic of her reasoning sunk in Maura's brain.

Maura finally yielded.

"I don't want to talk, Jane."

"Fine, don't talk, but don't move either. I'm going to get my stuff, say whatever and be back in a sec. Don't move." Jane kept her finger pointing at her until she reached the door.

Jane walked in the bar, looking back over her shoulder to check that Maura wasn't moving. She broke into a jog, got her jacket and car keys and told Frankie to tell the rest that she had to take Maura home. Jane's scathing look made Frankie hold any questions.

When she got back outside, Maura wasn't there. A frantic search with her eyes found Maura leaning against the wall, a few yards further from the door.

"Okay, I'm driving you home now."

.

A/N: Oops, again... Julia is gone. Maura now knows the truth. And now, what? :D