A/N: Thanks for leaving your thoughts & comments, following, and weathering the angsty times. Loads of luv for your patience and encouragement :)

Chapter 18 - Sunday Morning: Jane

"Hello, Jane…"

Jane's spine froze. The slow dragging of those two words sent chills right from her neck all the way down to her toes. She hadn't heard that voice in a long, long time, and it came from inside the interrogation room to her right.

Her heart throbbed as she approached the ajar door. She made a fist to stop her sweaty hand from trembling. The light blue door creaked as she opened it; inside, there was a bare table. The first thing she saw was her bullet marks on the handcuffed hands resting on the tabletop. Her eyes trailed up, until her stomach turned with the vision of his dead eyes, framed by the charred skin left by her flare.

"My, my, my. There you are. I was wondering when you would grace me with your lovely, lovely presence." Hoyt stretched his lips, lowering his head just slightly as he stabbed her with his dead eyes. "I missed you. Did you miss me, Jane?"

The brief, charged pause before he said her name made her mouth feel like cardboard. Her heart rate was so high that she could count the beats in her ears.

"Oh, what do we have here?" His eyes were focused on her hands. More exactly, they were zooming in on Jane's left hand. "Don't tell me that you finally married Maura." He laughed, but the sound grated Jane's ears. "Given that she is like me, it's a bit like we are married, don't you think?"

"Don't. Say. Her. Name. And she is nothing like you. Nothing."

"Of course, Jane, if you say so. Anyway, I know that the ring is just a formality; you two have always made a lovely couple. You should have married her years ago, then I would have had the perfect couple to have fun with. Hmm… I still remember our little encounter in the hospital, us three," Hoyt shook his head, faking a shiver. "I just loved seeing your face, hear you scream when you saw Maura under my hands -all that hatred full of terror. Hmm...," He inhaled slowly, deeply, as if smelling her fear. "You know, I loved that sweet, sweet moment when I felt the scalpel breaking skin, and the blood -so thick and dark- staining her lovely skin. But that was nothing compared to seeing her finally afraid or me."

"I killed you, you bastard... You are dead. Dead, and she is safe with me."

"Are you sure, Jane?" Hoyt lifted the eyebrow on the undamaged side of his face.

She felt strong but gentle hands holding her arms from behind. Before she could shake them off, she heard Barry's voice.

"Come on, Jane, leave him."

Her eyes shot wide open, leading her face to turn around, slowly. Frost smiled at her, his perfect teeth shining just as bright as his eyes.

"Forget him, Jane, he's a dead loser."

"God, Frost, what…" The lump in her throat broke her voice, and her next words were barely more than a tearful whisper. "But you… you are dead."

"Do I look dead to you? Come on, Jane. Maura's waiting at the crime scene."

Jane followed Frost along the corridor. He stood by the elevator, pressing the button once and turning to smile at Jane.

"Hey, my mom and her wife send their love to you and Maura, they were so excited when I told them you two finally got hitched." He shook his head, his smile blinding Jane. "Hard to believe that you were running like a wet chicken at first. Ha. Look at you now... It's great to see you so happy, Jane." His hand tapped softly on the back of her shoulder. Twice.

Before she could answer, Angela came running down the hall, wearing the Division One Café apron.

"Janie, honey, I got them, I found the brochures I told you about! Oh, hey Barry. You look great!"

Jane stood gaping.

"What? Don't tell you me you forgot… Santorini? Your honeymoon? Maura will love this hotel I found for you."

"Ma?"

"Come on, Jane, Maura is waiting." Frost led her away from Angela. The elevator door opened and Jane found herself inside a bar she vaguely recognized.

"Oh, there you are! What took you so long?" Maura ran to her, almost tiptoeing, and kissed her full on the lips. She was wearing an awful outfit of short skirt and a peasant blouse that left very little to the imagination.

Jane threw cautionary glances left and right, and whispered horrified. "Maura, what are you wearing?"

"I'm undercover. Don't you like it?" Maura filled her lungs, making her breasts stand up right under Jane's nose.

"Oh god," Jane took her jacket. "Please put this on."

"Oh, no, I love it," Maura looked at her blouse and fluffed out the wavy white collar. "And I know you love it too." Maura wiggled her shoulders, smiling coyly but raising a tempting eyebrow, and left to tend to the bloody victim lying on the floor. She had an icepick sticking out of her chest, running through a paper napkin with a logo on it.

Jane leaned down and saw the name "Merch" written in bold, black letters.

She heard a heaving sound. It was Frost, now with his back to the victim and covering his mouth with his hand. "That has to be Doyle."

"Oh, no, my father would not do this. What would he possibly want with a lesbian, in a lesbian bar?"

"Maura, are you guessing?"

"Of course not. I don't guess. In fact, I never say or do anything until I am absolutely sure that I mean it." Maura tilted her head, her surprised eyes softly smiling at her. "You know that, don't you?. Anyway, I'm done here. Oh, hey Julia!"

Jane forced herself to turn around. The ADA was standing by the bar, smiling and waving at Maura. A wave of heat broke in her stomach, searing it, and then bounced all the way up to her face. She followed Maura with her eyes as she approached that woman.

"Hello, Julia." Maura seemed a lot less bubbly, and a lot more uncomfortable with her dress now. "I didn't know I'd find you here."

"I don't usually come to lesbian bars, but… Anyway, it's good to see you. I heard you got married, a nice wedding with the family and everything." Her face smiled, but her eyes didn't, betraying a deep sadness. Jane actually felt sorry for her.

Maura cast her eyes down, and then looked at Jane.

"I'm sorry for what I did to you, Julia. But I am also so very grateful. Hadn't it been for you, I would have never realized what I really felt. It has changed my life."

"Yes. You look radiant. Maybe I should leave the DA's office and open a clairvoyant shop of sorts." Her smile was genuine, even with the evident sorrow in them. "I'm sorry I lost you, but Detective Rizzoli is one lucky woman; she gets to be with you for the rest of her life."

Maura looked at Jane and her eyes irradiated love; one so profound, calm, deep that Jane forgot about Julia, Hoyt and the room vanished.

"Are you okay?" Maura's minty breath was warm, inviting, as loving as her eyes.

Jane's eyebrows pushed up, her big brown eyes looking at her like a small, defenseless puppy.

"Don't tell me you are scared... Jane Rizzoli is strong enough to handle anything, remember?"

"Yeah," Jane smiled, nodding, her eyes lost in the deep hazel that held her whole, healed. Home. "Sometimes I forget, but yeah. I was so focused on what could go wrong, all this change, you… I was so afraid of what may happen if I fell for you, thinking that I would lose myself if I broke free from my little box. Afraid that I would lose you. I'm not good at this. But," A small, timid smile shone in her eyes as she shrugged. "But I don't have to be afraid anymore."

Jane ran her arms around Maura's waist, and let herself fall into that kiss she had been wanting to give her since she was sitting on the couch, trying to calm Maura down. "You know I do, don't you?"

Maura kissed her again, softly. "Yes, and I love you too, Jane. But please don't yawn again in my ear."

Jane woke up laughing, light -almost airy.

When she opened her eyes, she saw the dark room

"Oh god... what the hell was that!" A groan rumbled deep in her chest.

Maura would have a field day with this one. She sat up on the bed and rubbed her face with both hands, scoffing at the glaring lack of subtlety of the dream. She braced herself for the inevitable typhoon, but it did not come.

All she felt was an overwhelming need to see Maura. To be with Maura.

The glaring obviousness of the dream daunted her. She could not find it in her to even try to deny that her brain was screaming at her an obvious truth, and her fears, and all the thoughts she couldn't even form in her head while awake. It all looked so clear now, no matter how blind she had been, or how much she had fought it.

She wanted the dreams to be real.

She was happy that Julia had left Maura.

She was grateful to Julia, for having unleashed something that felt so incredibly good -even if it was only a dream. At that precise moment, the dream felt like a huge neon sign crashing on her head, falling from high above the conscious stubbornness and fears. Her brain had spoken loud and clear, and now it felt almost ridiculous to try and fight.

It felt simple.

It felt right.

I'm not afraid anymore.

She got out of bed and heard complete silence. Her watch told her it was almost 1 p.m. She checked Maura's bedroom. It was empty, the bed neatly made. The bathroom was empty – her heart jolted when she remembered Maura in the bathtub. She went downstairs; Maura wasn't home. She sat on one of the high chairs, deflated, when she saw the post-it note.

Her heart skipped a beat, and then started thumping inside, leaving her breathless.

She's coming now. Oh god.

With one deep breath, she got up and sprinted upstairs. She found a change of clothes in the guest room's cupboard -where Maura always kept clothes for her, and rushed to the bathroom. The hot shower felt like heaven, washing one by one the vivid images of her dreams, but leaving her with a peace she had never known. She held on to Frost's smile for a while, though, sighing over a soft smile.

She turned the tap off and she heard a noise outside.

It was the front door closing. She listened more closely and heard the familiar tapping of Maura's stilettos. Her heart stammered again, the latter part of the dream firmly seared in and thriving in her conscious mind. As she dried her body, she tried to rehearse what she would do or say when she faced real-life Maura again, but came up with nothing.

Instead, she held on to the only thought that held her whole, shining like a beacon.

I'm not afraid anymore.

.