DISCLAIMER: I still don't own Twilight, much to my dismay.
Bella stormed down to the kitchen, another thing that the Cullens shouldn't have, but do.
Alice was sitting there with Jasper and Emmett. They were all stirring individual cups of black coffee. Discrimination against coffee! Oh no!
"Great. Just great!"
"What is it now, Bella?" Alice said, continuing to stir her coffee.
"I got Edward angry, and now he's off to go and be intimate with Jacob." Bella sighed. "I thought they hated each other. Not to mention I didn't even know he swung that way."
"So that's where he goes every Saturday night," Jasper said. "It all clicks!"
"Do you guys not get the scale of this?! Edward is cheating on me with another man!"
"Well," Emmett advised, "remind them to use protection."
Bella made an angry, high-pitched noise and stomped out of the room.
"Why are we stirring coffee again?" asked Jasper.
Alice shrugged. "All the cool kids are doing it."
Bella stomped. And
stomped. She stomped all the way to La Push and by the time she got
there she had stomped so much her feet were stomped to little stubs.
Only not. But that really increased the drama, didn't it?
"JACOB!" she
shouted in pure, unrestrained anger.
"Oh, no, you found
out, didn't you?" Jacob's face contorted into an expression that
was hard to describe, other than the fact that he looked pretty damn
stunned. "I knew you wouldn't like it."
"You - "
"I know. Edward
and I had planned it as a surprise."
"What? Coming
out?"
"No. Where'd you
get that?"
Bella gave a heavy
sigh. "Just go on."
"Okay. Well, we
put aside our differences to make you something special. 'Cause, you
know, you're getting married soon. I'm so not happy for you, but yet
outrageously enthusiastic!" Jacob ruffled his unkempt hair. Why,
in fact, it was so horrendously unkempt that it looked like a monster
was eating his head.
"Jacob!"
cried Bella. "A monster is eating your head."
"Ah." Jacob
waggled his finger. "That is a mistake many people seem to
make."
"Oh. Sorry."
"It's okay."
"All right.
Continue?"
"What, don't you
already know what the surprise is?"
"...You guys being
gay?"
"No! God, Bella,
where do you get your ideas? We were making you a mug."
"What?"
"A mug. You know,
for coffee."