The Sign
Billy - POV
Dance night! Woohoo! It was gonna be awesome. All my friends and Sperg are coming to my house, and we're gonna take pictures and then Mindy has this big, long car called a linoleum coming, and we're gonna get in and go to the dance. And then, at the dance, Jessica and I are gonna slow dance to "Circle of Life" and pretend to be lions, and it's gonna be the BEST NIGHT EVER. The first people to show up are Mandy and Sperg, and man, does Mandy look nice. She's wearing this white ruffly dress. "Wow, Mands," I commented. "Nice threads." Mandy nodded in acknowledgement. "You look...human," she replied. Sperg had an arm wrapped around her shoulder. "Yeah," he said. "Doesn't she look like an actual girl?" Mandy's mouth dropped open as I nodded. "Yeah, yeah," I agreed. "If you guys haven't noticed," she snapped angrily. "I am an actual girl." She shoved Sperg away from her and stormed into the living room, where Grim was watching TV. "Women," Sperg said, with a shake of his head. "Can't live with 'em, can ya?" I shrugged. "Jessica's nice," I said. "She lets me buy her stuff." Jessica swung by next. As soon as she got through the door, she started glaring at me. "God, Billy," she snapped. "Why is your cummerbund red? My dress is blue. Blue. How come that didn't sink into your thick skull? I told that five times, Billy! Five!" She slammed the door behind herself and crossed her arms over her chest. "Where's my corsage," Jessica snapped. I swallowed nervously and dashed into the kitchen for it. When I got there, Mandy was sitting at the kitchen table, sipping some Ecto Cooler and flipping through a back issue of Sassy. "What's the rush," she asked, barely looking up as I raced into the room and threw the fridge door open. "Jessica's collage," I replied. "Corsage," Mandy corrected. "Uh huh. Mirage," I said, nailing the term. Mandy sighed and moved from the kitchen table towards me. I held out the plastic transparent box I stored the flower thing in and showed it to Mandy. "Do you think Jess'll like it," I asked. Mandy smirked slightly. "It's actually pretty nice," she said. "Good job, Nimrod." She opened the box. "You know how to put it on, right," Mandy asked. "Huh?" She facepalmed. "Billy," Mandy snapped. "You mean you didn't even practice?" "What's to practice," I asked. "Look," Mandy said. "Is it a wrist or a pin on corsage?" I shrugged, and she rolled her eyes. Mandy took it out of the box and examined it. "Good," she said. "It's a wrist corsage. That'll be easy enough for even you to master." She placed her wrist right in front of my face and shoved the flower bracelet on. "See? That's how you'll put it on Jessica." She took it off and put it back in the box. "Thanks for teaching me, Mandy," I said. "No problem, Billy," she replied. "I'm used to making sure you don't screw up." Suddenly, she got real quiet and started staring at her shoes. I stared down, too. They were those really shiny buckle shoes. The ones with the same name as the girl from Spider Man. Gwen Staceys, I think. I got distracted by the shininess for a while, until Jessica yelled, "Where's my damn corsage?" "We should go back," Mandy said, quietly. "Come on." She started walking ahead of me. It was weird. She didn't tug on my ear or my shirt or my hand or anything. I just followed her back into the front hallway, where Sarah and Irwin had arrived. "I gots the flower bracelet, Jessica," I said. I held it out for her to see and she wrinkled her nose. "You got a daisy corsage," she snapped. "I asked for lilacs. God, Billy, it's like you're retarded or something." Almost immediately, Mandy had appeared at Jessica's side. "Can I talk you for a minute," she asked sharply. Jessica was trembling as she followed Mandy back into the kitchen. We all heard a loud slap and then Mandy walked back into the room with Jessica following, rubbing her left cheek. Mandy gave her a pointed look, and she sighed. "Sorry, Billy. The corsage is...lovely." Jessica twitched slightly and stared nervously at Mandy. Just then, the limo pulled up to my place. Mandy sighed and grabbed Sperg's hand. "Let's get this night over with," she muttered, opening the front door. We all piled into Mindy's lemon. It was a bit of a squeeze, since some random eighth grade boy and Mindy were sitting with the two Jennifers, Peter, and my cousin Nergal Jr. Two other couples, with kids I didn't recognize from our class were there, too. So when we all moved in, somehow Mandy ended up in Sperg's lap. I wanted to throw up. It was hard to believe that Mandy and Sperg were a thing, but it was true. I even saw them...kissing. My best friend and the guy who had made my life a living hell since first grade. Mandy didn't seem particularly happy about it, but she was smiling a little more often. Not the fake smiles that rip a hole in the fabric of time, but the kind of smiles Mandy only made when she'd caused pure chaos. In a way, I guess she had, because her and Sperg was making me nuts. Mandy was my friend, and Sperg didn't have any kind of rights to touch her. I felt my blood getting all angry and... "Billy," Jessica snapped. "Quit growling. You sound like a dog. Not to mention you're foaming at the mouth, which is like so gross. I mean, I can't even." I wiped under my mouth and turned back to Jessica. Her mouth and shoulders looked really shiny. I stopped thinking about Sperg and Mandy, and stared at Jessica's sparkly, sparkly shoulders until we pulled up to the school. We all piled out of the car into the building. "The Sign" by Ace of Base was playing at top volume and immediately all of the girls besides Mandy started squealing. "This is my favorite song," Jessica shrieked. Everyone started dancing pretty happily, and I was instantly in a better mood. But then, "Bump N Grind" started and everything went nuts. One minute I'm bopping to the music, the next Jessica's rubbing her butt on my wiener. I looked across the room at some other people. Junior was sucking on Jennifer K's neck. Irwin and Sarah were pressed up against the gym wall, rubbing on each other. Mandy was letting Sperg rub his wiener on her butt and looking pretty bored with it. Principal Goodvibes' face was getting real red and he was clutching at his chest. Mr. Catlains was just sitting back and enjoying the show with some blonde lady I recognized. I think her name was...Erin. Or Harris. Jessica broke into my thoughts, saying, "Grind harder, Billy!" I stared back at what Mandy and Sperg were doing, only to see Sperg standing by himself as Mandy strode across the room towards Harris and Mr. Chevrolet. I stopped what I doing (or not doing) and followed her. Jessica was yelling at me as I walked away. "Billy," she shouted. "What are you doing? Why are you following that thing?" Soon enough, Mandy and I were side by side, staring at Travis and Mr. Catman. She turned to me and glared. "Billy, what are you doing," Mandy snapped. "I'm here to help you yell at Eris and stuff." Mandy rolled her eyes. "Go away. I'm fine." "I want to help," I said back. She sighed and tossed her hair. "Fine, Billy," she snapped. "Help by not saying anything." I stood squeezing my lips shut as Mandy glared at the two. "Did you think I was really going to be blinded by something as useless as LOVE," Mandy asked harshly. Mr. Catherine nervously tugged at his tie and turned to Eris. "I thought you said you could make her fall in love," he said. "I said I make her think like she was," Eris said. "I never said anything about a full personality makeover." "Why did you try this," Mandy questioned next. "It's just, it's my first year teaching," Mr. Catherine said. "And, uh, your reputation precedes you, Ms. Baleful, and I just wanted to be a real authority figure. So, I, uh, met this Eris lady here by chance and I made an arrangement with her. And, uh, here we are." Eris looked at her wrist, and I guess she had an imaginary watch on, because then she said, "Look at the time. I have things to do, money to spend. Ta!" She disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving Mr. Catherine to face Mandy on his own. Mandy sighed, tossed her hair, and gave Mr. Catherine a stony glare. "Good luck," she said coldly. Then she turned on her heel and walked away. Jessica came over with a tight glare on her face. "Billy, what are you doing," she hollered. "We were in the middle of something, you know!" My eyes darted from Mandy to Jessica back and forth a few times before Mandy slapped me. "Say something, you idiot," she said. "Fine." I swallowed and turned to Jessica. "Sorry?" She tossed her hair and stomped away. "By the way, we are so OVER! Auggghhh!" Almost immediately, Irwin, Nergal Jr. and Sperg rushed over. "If you're done with Jessica, can I have her next," they all said in unison. "Nergy," Jennifer K. gasped. "How could you?" Sarah also rushed over to Irwin and soon enough, all four of them were yelling at each other. Sperg shrugged. "You don't mind, do you, Mandy," he asked. Mandy shrugged. "Please. Go ahead. I'll be fine." Sperg went off towards Jessica happily, and Mandy started walking out of the dance. "Wait," I yelled. She turned around and shrugged again. "What," she asked. I forgot what I was gonna say, so I just stared at her for a while. She sighed and walked out of the gym. All in all, the dance was over ahead of schedule. Punch was flying across the room, Junior was on his knees begging, and Jessica and Sperg were already making out. I couldn't believe she wasn't my girlfriend any more. It all happened so fast. I don't think I like seventh grade anymore.