There was a shocked silence where Merlin slowly realised what he had just said.
He spluttered and continued. "I mean, I'm sure she loves you too. Wherever – whoever – she may be. I mean, how could she not? When the charmingly handsome prince of Camelot takes an interest in you like that, and thinks of you like that, then I reckon it's pretty much impossible not to fall in love with him back…"
"Merlin…" Arthur's voice was laced with confused confrontation.
"Yes Arthur?" Merlin's attitude pleaded innocence but the look in his eyes told otherwise.
"What did you just say?" Arthur's tone was almost challenging.
"That I'm sure she loves you too?" Merlin replied, although it came out as more of a question.
"Before that."
"I didn't say anything?" Merlin's heart was racing. What had he done? He had royally messed up this time…
"Yes you did Merlin." Arthur refused to back down. He knew what he had heard. "You said 'I love you too'."
"No I didn't." Merlin protested, although he felt there was barely any point. "I said, she loves you too."
"Merlin…" Arthur sighed. "Come on. Do you take me for a fool?"
Internally, Merlin almost laughed all things considered. Externally, he simply shook his head, resigned.
"So, do you want to explain yourself now?" Arthur raised an eyebrow.
For some reason, Arthur could feel his heart beat picking up; his breathing was already quick and shallow, and his eyes were open wide. Was he nervous? No. This was just Merlin we were talking about here. But he couldn't be… excited? I mean, those couldn't be butterflies in his stomach right now? Because this was just Merlin? Right?
Merlin felt as though he had been backed into an inescapable corner. He couldn't deny what he said, and if he didn't explain everything from the previous night, then Arthur would never even give him a second glance. At the same time, could he really just tell Arthur that the wonderful, mysterious girl he thought that he was in love with was actually only him?
"Merlin? I'm waiting." Arthur demanded, trying to stop his voice from shaking… which ended up making him sound cold and rude. Drat.
"I'm sorry, sire. I don't know how to say this." Merlin stammered. He hadn't been this afraid of Arthur since they had first met. And to be honest, he hadn't even really been afraid of him then. So this was probably the most afraid of Arthur he had ever been. Focus Merlin.
Arthur raised a single eyebrow, attempting a nonchalant, couldn't-care-less attitude, but inside, he felt like the fluttering in his stomach was going to make him take off into the air.
Merlin took a deep breath, decided. One look at Arthur's face made him realise how far he had fallen, and how he could not bear it if Arthur never understood what had happened and instead simply dismissed Merlin as his manservant because of his awkward, disgusting feelings. "I'm sorry I wasn't honest with you, Arthur. I should have been, right from the beginning. But I want you to know, I didn't plan any of this; it wasn't my fault that you bumped into me and well things escalated." He knew he was rambling but he couldn't stop himself.
"Merlin… What on Earth are you talking about?" Arthur's voice shook and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
"Last night…" Merlin sighed. "The girl that you met, or thought that you met…" He couldn't say it. He couldn't look Arthur in the eyes and watch his soul being crushed when he understood.
"What about her?" Arthur commanded.
"She…" Merlin looked down at the floor. "She was me."
There was silence. A stillness stuck in the air so absolute that not even the dust moved. Everything froze.
"What…" Arthur's voice broke halfway through and he tried again. "What do you mean? I don't understand."
Merlin continued to look at the floor. "Gaius heard that there was a sorceress who was planning to attack Camelot last night at the ladies' banquet. It would be the perfect cover, I guess, and all the men would be out the way. And so, he… he, er, managed to, er, procure a potion… from somewhere or someone or something… that would turn me into a girl. The same girl that you, er, met last night."
For once, the prince was so dumbfounded that he lost the words to speak. Instead, he slowly shook his head. "No. I would have realised. I would have recognised you even with your cover." He insisted. He knew that he was being rude – he could see the hurt on Merlin's face – but he could also feel the frantic nerves and frenetic butterflies dancing throughout his body increasing, and that terrified him.
"Think about it, Arthur." Merlin urged gently. "Think about the girl."
Arthur thought about her. The girl. The girl with the raven black hair and the sky blue eyes and the porcelain skin. The girl with the teasing and the taunting and the hiding. The girl who could fight like Arthur himself had taught her. The girl who called him prat. The girl with no name.
And then he thought about Merlin. Merlin had raven black hair and sky blue eyes and porcelain skin. Merlin teased him and taunted him. Arthur had taught Merlin to fight. Merlin called him prat. The girl was… Merlin? But no.
"That doesn't prove anything." Arthur insisted. "About a quarter of the kingdom has black hair and blue eyes and pale skin; you said so yourself."
"Arthur… It was me… I can prove it." Merlin sighed.
"How?" Arthur demanded.
"You and the girl first met when you bumped into her in the corridor outside the banquet hall and it made you both late. How would I know that if I hadn't been there?" It hurt Merlin's, already damaged heart, to do this, but there was no going back now.
"You could have seen that from around the corner." Arthur countered.
Merlin nearly made some jape about how he didn't spend his life lurking around corners stalking Arthur's every move, but somehow he felt that he didn't really have a leg to stand on right now. "Fine. How about when you followed me into a corridor where I was spying on the sorceress and I pretended not to know who you were and I called you prat and… I…" Merlin broke off, unsure if Arthur wanted to relive that memory with the knowledge he now knew.
"You're lying." Arthur growled, advancing on Merlin with anger (concealing fear… and something else entirely) in his eyes.
"Am I?" Merlin backed away from Arthur, but he held his ground in the argument. "How about later when you had to come and get in the way – you know, I was perfectly fine handling that sorceress before you came along – and so I had to resort to knocking the damn witch out with a shoe and saved your royal behind in the process. But then we, er, got, er, distracted… and she went full on crazy and we had to battle her on the balcony overlooking the banquet hall and she had you trapped and was about to drop the vial on your dear father and ruin all of Camelot. But then I stepped in and killed the sorceress with your own sword and the rest of the night was held in my honour, and we danced all night and… and kissed all night. But then I had to leave and I just left that note over there and I never even told you my name."
Arthur had backed Merlin right up into a wall. "How do you know all this?" he challenged.
"I promise you, Arthur. I'm telling the truth." Merlin implored.
"Prove it!" Arthur ordered.
"I just did!" Merlin exclaimed. "Please, Arthur. You've got to believe me." he begged.
"No… No…" Arthur refused. He could not accept this. But not for the reason that he was trying to make himself believe. Arthur pressed Merlin further into the wall. "Prove. It."
"What do you mean?" Merlin blinked, unwilling to let himself hope, and even consider that Arthur could possibly be asking him to do what he thought he might be asking him to do.
"Last night, Merlin. You said it yourself. We… if it was even you… kissed. And I felt things that I've never felt before and I highly doubt that I will ever feel again. So go on, Merlin. Prove it." Arthur practically spat the words, and tried to force his bamboozled mind that he was only doing this because he was sure that Merlin was wrong.
"Are you sure, Arthur?" Merlin stared, surprised.
Arthur rolled his eyes, and simply grabbed Merlin's shoulders and pulled his lips against his own.
And the second they touched, the world explored. Colours flashed everywhere like some sort of exploding, multi-coloured fire in the night sky. Fountains poured burning, molten gold through every vein in their bodies. And everywhere they were touching – their mouths, their chests, Arthur's hands on Merlin's shoulders – felt like it was numb from the pure clashing, contrasting, electrifying feelings that were pulsing between them.
Arthur was acting without consent from his brain, which appeared to have simply gone completely blank. But his body was ringing with nerves up and dancing to the driving rhythm of his racing heart. This was amazing. He needed more. He pulled Merlin closer without thinking.
It felt alive. It felt phenomenal. It felt… exactly like last night. If not better.
And suddenly Arthur pulled away. Both of them blinking when they realised that the time that had passed had actually only been a couple of seconds, although it felt like a lifetime ago.
Arthur stared. He had to accept it now. There was no denying that Merlin was the girl. He looked at Merlin: he looked at his bright, wide, sky blue eyes; he looked at his flushed, rosy cheeks over porcelain skin; he looked at his tousled raven black hair;… he looked at his cheeky, delightful lips that so often held the most beautiful, stunning smile in the world. Those same cheeky, delightful lips that were currently turned into a worried frown.
"Arthur?" Merlin asked, gently. He was terrified. He could tell Arthur believed him now. But still. What did this mean?
"Merlin…" Arthur breathed. Then paused. "So it was you."
"Yes." Merlin sighed, and almost looked dejected. "And I'm sorry."
"Sorry?" Arthur questioned, confused. "For what?"
"For not telling you? For lying to you? For making you believe that there was a girl that you were in love with who doesn't really exist?" Merlin almost had to blink back tears.
Arthur considered this. It was true. Shouldn't he be feeling broken? Shouldn't he be devastated that his dream girl didn't exist? Shouldn't he be running as far away from his stupid manservant as possible right now?
He looked at Merlin again.
But of course not. Because his dream girl did exist. And she was right here. Only she was not a girl.
She was his stupid manservant.
And he hadn't needed that kiss to realise that. He figured he had always known, somewhere, deep, deep down. He had just needed that kiss to allow himself to realise that. Because he had always liked Merlin. Always. He had just never let himself believe it could be possible. Until now.
"Merlin." Arthur spoke again, his voice gently determined. "You have nothing to be sorry about. It wasn't your fault. And really, you've done us both a favour."
Merlin looked like he was about to interrupt, so Arthur simply raised a finger to his lips – which made them both smile slightly, reminiscent of last night.
"You seem to think that I only loved the girl from yesterday. But, Merlin, what you don't seem to understand is that I only loved her because she was you. You heard me earlier: it wasn't because of the way that you looked, it was because of the way that you were… are. Everything that I loved about her is something that I love about you. And I always have, Merlin. And I always will."
Merlin felt like he was melting. "I love you too, Arthur."
"Yes…" Arthur smirked, teasingly. "I think you mentioned that already."
"Yeah, well." Merlin taunted right back. "Sometimes I have to say things twice for you to fully understand them. You can be a bit… slow, sometimes."
"I'll have you know I'm the Prince of Camelot." Arthur acted shocked, although he was grinning flirtatiously.
"I'll have you know you're a prat." Merlin returned evenly, with a twinkle in his eye.
"Hey, I'll get you for that!" Arthur exclaimed and started after Merlin.
Merlin squealed and dashed around the room, Arthur in hot pursuit. However, he made the bad decision of running past the bed, where Arthur managed to intercept him, and tackle him onto it.
They looked into each other's eyes, both breathing heavily, both of their hearts racing.
And neither of them was sure who started it, but their lips touched once again and each time it was as magical and as exhilarating as the last. Arthur's arms raised themselves up and wrapped around Merlin's waist pulling him closer. He tilted his head, deepening the kiss, and Merlin was only too happy to respond. Their tongues touched, and it was like fire and ice, meeting in a passionate explosion of all the sexual tension from the past few years finally being fully realised by both parties. They fought for dominance, and naturally Arthur won, but Merlin got his own back by grabbing Arthur's butt. Merlin felt Arthur raise an eyebrow as though accepting this challenge, and all of a sudden Merlin felt himself being flipped over onto his back so Arthur was hovering above him, assaulting his neck with his teeth. Merlin gasped. Arthur chuckled into the kiss, sending the most delightful vibrations throughout Merlin's whole body.
"Merlin?" Arthur asked eventually after they had relaxed into an almost snuggling position on his huge, luxurious bed, simply playing with each other's lips as though they had all the time in the world.
Merlin sighed, knowing that this would inevitably come. There were so many questions and Merlin wasn't even sure he had an answer for half of them. Arthur opened his mouth, a confused look upon his perfect features. Merlin braced himself for the inevitable interrogation. But then "Where on Earth did you get that dress?"
Merlin blinked. Then met Arthur's amused gaze and simultaneously they fell about laughing.
"If you really want to know, it used to be Gwen's." Merlin managed to get out in between giggles.
"It suits you." Arthur teased. "You'll have to wear it again sometime. Just for me." he kissed Merlin again.
Merlin obliged and felt himself falling into the bliss that was Arthur's being. But just as the kiss began to deepen once again, Merlin pushed Arthur back just for a second.
"That's really it? That's all you want to ask?" Merlin pressed.
"I have many questions," Arthur acknowledged. "Which you will have to answer in due course. But right now…" he pressed a gentle kiss to Merlin's neck. "I am more than happy…" Another kiss, slightly higher up his neck. "To ignore them all." Another kiss. Before pulling away to look Merlin in the eyes.
"I have one." Merlin sighed. He couldn't believe he was really doing this. "What does this mean? I mean, for us?"
"It means I'm pretty sure we're both in love with each other, and I would like you to be mine. Does that satisfy you?" Arthur smiled reassuringly.
"You do realise that you're the Prince of Camelot and I'm just a servant, and also a man?" Merlin teased him, but there was a serious note hovering underneath.
"Oh what? Really? I must have missed something! I thought you were a mysterious, heroic girl!" Arthur taunted right back. "But yes, I do." He added, voice becoming more serious. "But I also meant it when I said forever, Merlin. I'm not going to let you go. Ok?"
"Ok." Merlin grinned his breath-taking, room-lightening, stunningly true smile that Arthur loved so much. But just as he leant in to kiss Merlin some more, he heard him add "You prat."
.
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Tis done! Thank you so much for reading and I really hope you enjoyed it! I apologise for the soppy ending but I just couldn't help myself; Merthur is just too adorable! Thank you also so much for all the wonderful encouraging favourites and follows and the absolutely lovely reviews - you are all amazing people and it means so much - thank you 3 There may be more Merthur coming up so stay tuned, and also I am currently obsessed with Once Upon A Time (CaptainSwan for the win) so be prepared for the possibility of some of that. Again, thank you so much for reading, and I bid you all a fond farewell for now.